Would You Date A Dude Who Lived With His Parents?
Posted by: Carrie Wasterlain
Filed in:
guys
12:00PM, Sunday July 26th 2009
According to a new study, a third of men ages 20 to 40 still live with their ‘rents. One in four of those who have moved out still keep a fully furnished bedroom at their parents’ house just in case they are forced to find their way back to the nest. As for women, only one in five are living with their moms and dads. So much for the assumption that men are more independent than women…
The study found that 18 percent of these men have their mothers still making them packed lunches, and that 19 percent said they would be staying at home until “they became fed up with their parents.” What brats!
But of course, financial issues are on the rise in the recession. So is it really that bad to be living at home? I mean, it would save a ton of moolah, and you might even get your laundry done for you. Hmm…maybe these dudes have it figured out! But even if they do, the real question is, would you date one of them? Personally, I think I prefer my men to live without mommy and daddy.
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seraphmaiden
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 11:16 am: [report]
I did. And I can’t describe how awkward it is to meet someone’s parents the first night you spend the night when you haven’t even started using boyfriend, girlfriend titles yet. I can’t say it’s an absolute deal breaker…
but close.
develange
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 11:22 am: [report]
My boyfriend is 30 and still lives with his family (sans dad). He did move out for most of his 20s, so I like to think I’m pretty open minded about the situation.
But at times it’s not so great…having sex while parents are home has NEVER been sexy. Plus I don’t like feeling I have to be on my best behavior every time I go to my bf’s place. So ideally, I prefer my men to live sans family.
bbpickles
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 12:00 pm: [report]
It is a deal breaker for me! I understand that money is tight in our current economic state, but get a roommate(or two if you have to)!
There is a huge difference between 20 and 40. A lot of people live with their parents in their early 20’s, but living at home in your 30’s and 40’s is ridiculous. It seems that they are lazy and irresponsible at that point, especially if mommy is packing a lunch for you….
roastchicken
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 12:17 pm: [report]
Hell no! Dealbreaker for sure. End of story.
*sam*
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 12:25 pm: [report]
I wonder if this study addressed *why* these men were still at home??
for me, it would *completely* depend on that question. While, I personally think living at home in your 30s or 40s is a bit excessive, if there is an understandable reason behind the situation, then I could overlook it. For example, if someone is living at home b/c they’re going (back) to school and can’t afford their own place (even w/ roommates), then why should I automatically say ‘no’ to someone who is making a sacrifice (or two or three) in order to ultimately better themselves?? Furthermore, if it’s more of a matter of the parents living with them, vs them living with their parents (i.e., they’re taking care of their parents d/t health issues), then that also, is perfectly understandable in my opinion.
but if they’re just living there b/c they’re too lazy & irresponsible to move out then, NO, absolutely NOT!! I want to be in a relationship with an *adult,* not an over-grown-man-boy that’s ultimately just looking for someone to take the place of his mother and take care of him.
downtheroad
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 12:57 pm: [report]
I did. Never again. Too weird for me. Oh, and this guy’s room was next to his grandma’s.
shellerbee
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 01:57 pm: [report]
When I started dating my partner, he was living with his mom, but he’d just moved back from college, and moved out again within a month of meeting him.
And now, because of the economy, we’re seriously considering moving back in with her. Wish me luck.
becknee
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 02:26 pm: [report]
Whether it’s a dealbreaker depends on age and reasons, to me.
My boyfriend and I each currently live with our respective parents, and it’s not a dealbreaker because we’re both 22 and just graduated from college. He’s home for a few months to save money to replace a car that’s on its last legs; I’m home until I find a job.
While it’s not the ideal living situation, it’s the most practical thing to do until we’re able to stand on our own feet financially.
Now, if either of us considered living at home a viable option permanently, or for the foreseeable future without a deadline, that would be cause for a serious conversation.
ctwilson112
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 07:17 pm: [report]
I had to move back home due to financial reasons and to finish school….it’d definitely not long term (hopefully!) and i’m in my mid-twenties….I’ve definitely felt a little ashamed about it because I used to live by myself, but I have to keep reminding myself that it’s for my own good….my savings account is looking way better than when I was paycheck to paycheck living in the city! So if i met a guy in the same situation, it would be hypocritical of me to turn him down….but I do feel if he’s 30 and up…that would be weird…
tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 08:42 pm: [report]
I’ve dated 2 guys who lived with their parents. And it’s all about the situation. One was a total loser and one wasn’t. The loser had never left home, spent all his money on a bass boat & beer and had a crappy job. The other one recently moved back to his tiny town after splitting with his long term live-in gf, couldn’t find a place to rent in such a small place,has a good, steady job and was totally embarrassed to admit he lived with his mum.
Of course, loser only lasted 1 date and nice guy always spent the nights at my place. I can’t even imagine having sex with his mum upstairs!
juliePS
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 05:57 am: [report]
My boyfriend lives with his parents and it KILLS me. He has his own apartment in the attic (living room, bathroom, kitchen, etc.) so at least it’s not just walking down the hall to his bedroom but still. His mom is nosy as hell, so I think that’s why it stresses me out so much.
skywalk
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 08:24 am: [report]
It would depend on the situation when I met my husband he was living at home but his father was terminally ill and his mom had passed away when he was eight. He had other siblings but they all had children and families, he was the youngest and his father really wanted him there. So it shouldn’t be a deal breaker unless you are extremely shallow it should be case by case. In my husbands, case it showed how committed he is to those he loves.
BlueVibe
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 08:52 am: [report]
“Living with parents” is an ambiguous classification. People are too quick to assume that adult children are living at home because they’re mooches who don’t want to grow up.
Living with parents because he has a pitiful job, doesn’t cook, and can’t/won’t do his own laundry = not cool.
Living with parents because they need help = negotiable. My current boyfriend lives with his mother and stepfather because they needed financial help. They had room and he didn’t need a lot of space, so why not? He has a decent job and is taking classes with an eye to getting a better job. He takes care of himself and watches out for his younger siblings. He’s not a slacker.
I live with my parents because my father is working overseas and my mother has some physical limitations that, while not health threats, make thing like vacuuming, carrying groceries, etc. very difficult for her. I have a productive full-time job, pay rent, foot my own car/pet/personal bills, etc. My dog has a yard and somebody home with her during the day instead of being alone in an apartment all the time while I’m at work. Mom can travel and not worry about who’s watching the house. I do most of the housework, laundry, a lot of the shopping and cooking. It’s not like I’m sleeping until noon and partying all night.
GrandGreen
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 09:54 am: [report]
I would ask why. He’s been laid off? Sure maybe. He’s been fired for putting porn on his boss’s desk top? No.
I know my uncle still lives with his mother, and he’s like 41. But he fits the looser mold as seen in 12 ways to know if your bf is a looser.
Raugiel
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 11:19 am: [report]
Have to chime in with everyone who has asked why these guys are living at home. What if the parents need non-financial help, like minor medical assistance that could be performed by an adult child (which could be potentially expensive if you hired a nurse) or emotional support (for example, when one parents predeceases the other)?
Moving out of your parents’ home is a different milestone than it used to be, and could be delayed (or a child could return home) for lots of reasons. Though everyone agrees, living at home because you are just lazy is not acceptable, it could pay off to be open-minded about a potential date’s situation long enough to learn whether he/she’s there for a bad reason, or a reason that says great things about him/her.
SomeGuy84
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 03:47 pm: [report]
I’m a recent college graduate, and the economy has brought my chosen industry to a hiring standstill especially for entry levels. So, I’m living at home and hate it. I get along with my parents great, I just can’t do things like bring a girl home for a ‘sleepover,‘or invite my friends over to drink very too much beer until ridiculous hours. And so, I just haven’t been pursuing women at all.
It sucks living at home. If I were a woman, I would avoid men who do so willingly (outside of the reasons Raugiel raises above.)
sparklestar
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 03:57 am: [report]
It would be too awkward! My boyfriend was supposed to be going home to live with his parents after graduating and I asked him to move in with me instead. ;p
It depends on what plans he had to get himself out of the situation and who was doing his laundry. =)
showbiiiz
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 09:47 am: [report]
Dealbreaker, period.
I guess maybe it’s because I love my own independence… I would probably CLASH with someone like that.
If I’m 20 and can live on my own - what’s wrong with expecting the same from the dude?
CatGoesNomNom
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 12:52 pm: [report]
Definitely would depend on the situation. My ex (32) had been living with his mother for a few years before I met him, and she did EVERYTHING for him. When we got our own place, he expected me to “mother” him, and it was ridiculous. He was a stereotypical momma’s boy.
I just had to move back in with my father (left the ex and was broke after paying everything) and I really didn’t have a choice. Yes, I can’t have sleepovers, but I’m going to school full time for nursing, and he respects that I’m a grown adult (27). So I definitely would be understanding of a guy who’s in the same situation as me.
Jitterbugs232
wrote on September 23 2009 @ 09:07 pm: [report]
My guy & I have been together 7months and he still lives at home but yet so do I.I’m a student an still trying to figure out my life while he works an pays rent. I am only 21 and he is only 22 but I think at this age it is acceptable to still live at home. Once you pass 24 its time you gotta go and grow up for a change