Woman Getting Married: It Happened!
Posted by: Woman Getting Married
Filed in:
relationships
2:00PM, Tuesday November 17th 2009
Well, it finally happened. I’ve waited 30 years for this big moment. I remember being 6 years old and sitting in my room, writing fake wedding invitations for my big day. I even remember staging fake weddings when my parents would go out. I’d record ceremony scenes from my favorite movies on my yellow Sony boom box so I could exchange the “proper vows” with my fake husband. I’d put on my whitest clothes, tie my hair up, and put on my mom’s red lipstick. I’m also pretty sure on the nights of my fake weddings I would welcome my baby doll into my new family. Things moved pretty quickly back then. Thankfully, there’s no real baby doll today.
So … how did it happen?
Well, I had been expecting it to happen before my birthday. And since my birthday is next week, I knew it would be any day now. We were already being unconventional, because I had picked out the ring with my mom over a month ago. I know, I know. The guy is supposed to surprise you. But I never wear jewelry, and wanted it to be something I love. I’m sentimental like that.
I thought it was going to happen last weekend. So every night, I blow-dried my hair, got my nails done, and tried to look halfway decent. When it didn’t happen then, I was pretty sure it was just going to happen on my birthday. But, instead, it happened last night.
Our gay neighbors down the hall texted me: “Mexican tonight. You can’t say no. Tell [Future Husband’s name].”
Normally, we are pretty lazy and always cancel plans, but future husband wanted to go. I started getting suspicious when gay neighbor and Future Husband mentioned going to the same place. Coincidence? Or proposal?
I drove with my neighbors to the Mexican restaurant, which was in a strip mall. I thought, “Please, God, don’t let it happen here.” And it didn’t.
We all finished our hamburger helper fajitas and $1.99 margaritas and headed back to our neighbor’s apartment for a nightcap. As soon as we got there, the s**t hit the fan … almost literally.
Future Husband said he had to go back to our apartment to go to the bathroom. “Bad Mexican.”
“Well, it’s definitely not happening tonight,” I thought. Instead, I’ll be wiping the bathroom walls down.
Twenty minutes later he came back to the neighbor’s apartment.
“How’d it go?” I asked.
“Mmmm. Not good. I think I need to call it a night.”
The s**t police clearly needed to be notified.
“Well, I’m going to stay here and finish my drink,” I said.
Future Husband’s response was: “Actually, do you mind coming back with me?”
Surely this wasn’t for wiping duty?
So we walked back to the apartment. And as we did, I saw a smile creep across Future Husband’s face. And not an “I have diarrhea” kind of smile.
As he opened the door, I knew something was up. I walked into the apartment, which had been covered with candles and flowers all over the floor. They were making a pathway towards our dining room table, which had candles and a ring box on it. Future Husband said, “Come this way.”
Oh my God. This was it.
The rest is a little bit of a blur. I know he opened up the ring box (containing the beautiful ring I’d seen before), and sweetly asked me if I would be his wife. I jumped up and down and smiled and giggled and said yes. Then I kissed him.
Thirty years in the making, and I didn’t shed a tear.
I think because I’ve been so anxious about it and knew it was going to happen, I kind of just wanted it to happen already. When it did, I was relieved. Now I could stop blow-drying my hair and shaving my legs every goddamn day.
And now, I have a Future Husband and a new friend. Who, you might ask?
Well, it’s Estelle. My new diamond engagement ring. Say hello to my new little lady.
TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
equnsuocha
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 02:09 pm: [report]
Congratulations may you have a wonderful life together! Best Wishes M-
H. Blue
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 02:15 pm: [report]
Right, because pushing for your own proposal and picking out your own ring to give to your guy to give back to you is so sentimental. I love a good engineered-engagement story. I think I might cry.
The multiple references to bowel movements make this story especially romantic. Thank you so much for sharing.
esmee
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 02:16 pm: [report]
pretty ring, congratulations, she said, bitterly, pouring a shot of vodka.
Wytch
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 02:19 pm: [report]
Pretty ring. :-D I like that you got to pick your own out. It seems way more practical than just crossing your fingers and hoping the “Betty Boop memorial” necklace incident won’t be repeated.
asklej
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 02:21 pm: [report]
“. . . .because I had picked out the ring with my mom over a month ago. I know, I know. The guy is supposed to surprise you. But I never wear jewelry, and wanted it to be something I love. I’m sentimental like that.”
You call picking out a ring with your mom sentimental? Why would you not pick it out with your husband-to-be (HTB) or pre-shop for it with your HTB so he knew the style you liked? I’m sorry, but I don’t understand how an engagement ring picked out with your mom instead of your HTB can have any sentimentality attached to it.
Nevertheless, best wishes to you, your HTB, and your mom.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 02:24 pm: [report]
The horror the hypocrisy. Didn’t we already go over the diamond thing?
powplz
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 02:25 pm: [report]
Given that her bf’s taste led to “hamburger helper fajitas,” I can see why she didn’t leave the ring selection up to him. However, I can’t help but agree with @H.Blue. And naming the ring you picked out? I mean, congrats and everything, but, wow.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 02:30 pm: [report]
@joyy: You don’t know what you’re missing with HH. Granted I haven’t had it in a decade, but still.
MissPepper
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 02:31 pm: [report]
Wow; there are some Miss Bitterfaces up there. Just know that MOST of us are thrilled for you, because you know, we’re happy enough with ourselves to be.
JackieO
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 02:32 pm: [report]
Congrats on the engagement and the ring it is beautiful!
asklej
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 02:34 pm: [report]
You are strange. First: how is having your mom help you pick out your ring sentimental in any way? You were more interested in the “diamond” than in the meaning of getting engaged. Your future husband and you could have gone looking at rings so that he had some idea of what your liked. Second: what makes you think any of us that read your “story” would care to hear about the after-effects of Mexican food on your future husband? You sound like a real mess. Nevertheless, best wishes to you, your future husband and your mom. And good luck - you three need it.
Namaste
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 02:46 pm: [report]
That ring is a stunner! I actually said “wow” out loud!
I’m agreeing w/ H.Blue and joyy… all that stress you gave yourself leading up to the proposal you knew was coming… I can’t imagine how stressed out you will be planning that wedding!
Lilypie
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 02:49 pm: [report]
I’m not sure how you can work up a jumping up and down giggling response when you’ve already picked out the ring for him, but congrats anyway!
surfSoCal
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 03:03 pm: [report]
Love this ring. So beautiful.
pragmatryst
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 03:30 pm: [report]
Now, now. Let’s not be too snarky. Without meticulous planning, her FH might have popped the question on a day when she had untamed flyaway bangs or day-old stubble on her legs and the sentimentality of the memories would have been ruined forever.
SouthOC
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 03:46 pm: [report]
Ah yes… I can hear them telling this romantic tail to their grandchildren. “And then your grandfather came back from the apartment with toilet paper stuck to his shoe…”
Lynn
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 04:24 pm: [report]
I can’t figure out if the previous commenters are stupid or sarcastic.
#1 “I’m sentimental like that” was obviously sarcasm, she knows it wasn’t sentimental.
#2 Her guy obviously wasn’t having exploding diarrhea, he was using it as an excuse to spend 20 minutes in their apartment setting up the candles and everything.
Still, I’m confused about why this story is even on The Frisky. There is no name attached so I guess I can assume this is not someone I care about or even one of The Frisky’s writers who we have all become familiar with. I have to be honest - hearing engagement stories and seeing the rings of people I care about is awesome! But hearing engagement stories and seeing the rings of people I have never met or heard of is kind of a waste. Why should I care? I kept reading thinking one of the regular Frisky writers would reveal herself. And that never happened.
SouthOC
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 04:30 pm: [report]
Dammit… “tale, not tail.”
SCRMOM
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 04:52 pm: [report]
Funny that absent from this article is any mention of the word LOVE.
ginny
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 05:15 pm: [report]
ugh i hate to be a hater, but i strongly dislike people that cancel plans “all the time” out of sheer laziness. just don’t say yes and everyone’s a winner!
more on topic ...
the proposal? hey, everyone’s different. if this makes her happy, then congratulations are in order!
Leo's Bird
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 05:55 pm: [report]
I agree, the ring is beautiful. Never heard of someone naming it! I guess if people name their cars and their boobs, it’s not a big stretch.
Anyway, congrats!
*sam*
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 07:06 pm: [report]
@Lynn:
I could be wrong, but I have an inkling of who this writer may be… and if I’m right, it’s one of the more well-known Frisky staffers.
(perhaps even an editor of some sort??—am I getting warmer?)at any rate, congrats ******* *******, even if your story was a little more, unconventional than some of the others would have preferred.
Amelia McDonell-Parry
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 07:17 pm: [report]
@Lynn This is going to be a reoccurring column from a female writer who is going to write about being engaged. She is keeping herself anonymous so she can feel free to talk about some of the more uncomfortable or stressful aspects of being engaged, without potentially offending people she doesn’t want to offend. You’ll get to know her over time, as you’ve gotten to know the rest of us.
@*sam* Not sure who you’re thinking it could be, but the writer is definitely not a Frisky staffer.
alexadee
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 07:20 pm: [report]
jeeez what a bunch of bitter bettys around here! why is everyone so judgey? this is your engagement story, and it certainly is not like anyone else’s, and that’s what make it so beautiful and real.
congrats! i hope your wedding is just as memorable, if not infinitely more so : )
dizzy
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 07:32 pm: [report]
Cute story. You’re kind of my polar opposite, but the important thing is that you’re happy.
But:
“I think because I’ve been so anxious about it and knew it was going to happen, I kind of just wanted it to happen already. When it did, I was relieved. Now I could stop blow-drying my hair and shaving my legs every goddamn day.”
Warning: Do not stop taking care of yourself just because you are married. This path leads to certain destruction. And I am little disturbed that the only reason you were doing it in the first place was to get engaged.
Congratulations!
*sam*
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 08:11 pm: [report]
@Amelia: darn. :( and here I was thinking I had someone’s writing style pinned for sure!!! >_< oh well. at any rate, congrats again to the anonymous bride to be.
(note to self: stop using emoticons when admitting being wrong…)
Shiny Objects
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 10:26 pm: [report]
Awesome. I picked out my ring about a month ago before my birthday, and my boyfriend informed me that I wouldn’t know when the proposal was coming, but it would be a surprise. Last night my he surprised me with a “birthday do-over” and gave me a singing card and a snuggie as a joke. It was funny and adorable (you had to be there) but I’m not sure I can handle many more of these “surprises” that aren’t an actual proposal.
og217
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 01:56 am: [report]
I don’t see how its a proposal if you essentially had the whole thing sorted already. I think the whole thing was kind of lame. The guy couldn’t or wouldn’t bother with the ring, and then in order to stage a “surprise” proposal he pretends to have diarrhea??? What???
TheWomanGettingMarried
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 08:48 am: [report]
Wow, tough room!!
OK. I just wanted to clarify a couple points that I probably should have explained in my story.
1) My BF I had had been dating two years, and had been talking about getting married for quite awhile. And yes, I had to have “the talk” with him about two months ago, about actually taking the next step and getting engaged. We had just moved to a new city together, and I found myself getting upset that it hadn’t happened already. When I brought it up, my BF was actually great about it and appreciative that I shared my feelings. He shared to me that he did, without a doubt, want to marry me, but he had stalled because of the move, his new job, etc.. So I guess you can say I “nudged” him a bit. Some people might take issue with the fact that I brought up in the first place, and that’s fine. Sometimes engagements are not the shocking surprises you want them to be, but instead come out of mutual discussions that turn out just as great.
2) We had talked about what kind of rings I liked, but I wanted to try and keep that element of it as much of a surprise between us as possible, considering how the engagement came about in the first place. So, I often hinted to him that my mom, who I consider to be one of my best friends, would know what kind of rings I liked. She happens to know a jewelry guy, so we went looking one day, and I found the ring I wanted. From there my mom and BF kind of orchestrated the whole thing in secret. Personally, the thought of going to look for a ring with my BF seemed weird. Maybe that’s backwards, but I think that involves a lot of pressure on the guy in terms of having to announce his budget and all that stuff. I also really enjoyed the fact that I got to go ring shopping with my mom…it was a great bonding experience for me and for her and my BF afterwards.
3) The actual night of the proposal might have sounded awkward, but there was really little choice in how my BF went about it….I work from home as a writer, so I’m ALWAYS there, leaving him little chance to ever set the flowers/candles up. He had organized it with the neighbors so I’d be entertained for a bit while he did it. One thing he knew, which I loved, is that he wanted to do it at home. Having just moved to a new city, we don’t have any “favorite places” like we did in NYC. We do, however, love our new home, so that’s where he chose to do it. And yes, the fact that he had to fake some sort of bowel issues…well, we both have the same sense of humor in that area, so I appreciate that side of the story. If you keep reading my columns ,I’m sure you’ll see that I’m often quite sarcastic, and sometimes my sense of humor is gross. I’m sorry if it offends anyone.
4) Regarding me not mentioning the word “love”, rest assured I love my new fiancee to death! Usually that’s assumed by the general public when you accept someone’s proposal, isn’t it? I’m pretty sure I’m not being sold into marriage.
og217
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 09:20 am: [report]
Sorry you got a tough crowd and that people weren’t all “aaaawwwwww!” Maybe the idea was to have a tale of a modern engagement story - without the guy buying the ring, proposing on a bended knee, etc.? It just didn’t read like a romantic thing. Which is fine if thats your deal, but you can’t have it both ways - its either traditional & romantic or modern - I turned 30, wanted to get married, orchestrated a proposal and now everything is as I want, bla bla bla.
TheWomanGettingMarried
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 09:25 am: [report]
@og217
I’m not sure where you’re making up your rules. Who’s to say something can’t be both modern and romantic? For me, it was. If it wasn’t for you, than thankfully you’re not me!
majicksand
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 09:29 am: [report]
I think it’s great that TWGM is happy and got what she wanted. On the flip-side, the tone of the article is very “type A”. I can see this series turning into a bridezilla diary. In good news it might be very entertaining for the rest of us when the flowers are the wrong shade of cerise.
powplz
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 09:34 am: [report]
Sounds like she should have just grown a pair of lady balls and asked him herself since she was the one with all the motivation to move things along. Also, don’t expect an explanation of a mother’s extended role or the one tiny thing he was allowed to decide for himself (the setting) turn ‘the room’ around.
og217
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 09:39 am: [report]
Easy there, killer. No, me “nudging” a proposal, buying my own ring and then having tacky Mexican food while my boyfriends feigns diarrhea is not my idea of romance.
Sorry you’re touchy now about the “romance”, but you’re the writer - if you wanted to present a romantic proposal and you came up with THAT, its not my fault. Its also not anyone’s fault that your material - see previous paragraph - wasn’t much to work with.
Maybe you should let this go as a first effort and move on to writing something else, because trying to convince people that this WAS a romantic proposal will just ruin your mood and your engagement feelings.
TheWomanGettingMarried
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 09:51 am: [report]
@joyy
Perhaps you’re right, I should have proposed, but my balls are not that big. There are some lines (in my own head) that I can’t cross.
Also, BF was, in his words, “thrilled” that I picked out the ring with my mom. He just wanted to be able to surprise me with the proposal…in his own way…and he was pretty proud of himself how he did. And that’s all that matters to me.
H. Blue
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 09:52 am: [report]
haha @ og217 I think you said some of the things I was thinking much better than I could articulate myself.
TheWomanGettingMarried
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 09:56 am: [report]
@og217:
I wasn’t trying to write a Harlequin romance novel, nor did I ever claim that my proposal was torn from the pages of one. Clearly, it wasn’t. I mean, it involved really bad Mexican food! But, it was one of the best days of my life…not because of how it happened, but because of WHAT happened.
Lynn
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 12:05 pm: [report]
@Amelia - thank you for the explanation! That does clear things up…I thought this was just a one-time article with an engagement story and I was confused, totally makes sense if it’s the beginning of a series
Lynn
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 12:11 pm: [report]
@ dizzy - I don’t think she was saying that she was going to let herself go after the proposal. She had been putting in the extra effort thinking each night was a proposal - I don’t know anyone who blows out their hair and shaves their legs every single day as a norm. If you do I can’t imagine the condition your skin and hair is in!
*sam*
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 12:55 pm: [report]
Jeez! People sure do get all pissy when someone else’s proposal isn’t what they want for themselves!!
Wanna know how my SO and I did it? Oh right, we didn’t. We just made the decision like 2 adults to get married and instead of spending a ton of money on an engagement ring only to turn around and buy another ring for the ceremony, we just got one really nice ring for the whole shebang. We picked our bands out separately and won’t get to see them ‘til the actual ceremony (which, is in a courthouse BTW where we’re both wearing nice pants and shirts and without a single flower in sight).—Not exactly what you consider a fairytale romance? Maybe you should attack me for it too!!
All I’m saying is that to those of you that seem somehow offended by TWGM’s story, you just need to quite frankly get over yourselves. It’s not your your story to hate on, it’s hers.
oh, and @TheWomanGettingMarried, please, feel free to continue your engagement however you wish and ignore the
jealousinsecurecattypeople that refuse to share in your bliss!TheWomanGettingMarried
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 01:00 pm: [report]
Thank you @Sam! I will
spatula
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 01:03 pm: [report]
THANK YOU *sam*, it was beginning to become difficult for me to hold my tongue against all the bitter cattiness in the comments.
Congratulations @TheWomanGettingMarried!!
Dukk in Houston
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 04:24 pm: [report]
My husband surprised me too. He had the ring designed. He picked out the date to ask me, the way to ask me and the ring was and is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I always hoped I would marry someone who would realize I didn’t want the day orchestrated and I wanted him to get me what HE wanted to get me and ask me when he was good and ready.
It ended up being perfect- done on a random Saturday afternoon in our own home.
I wouldn’t do it the way you did, but congrats anyway. To each his own!
Steph9668
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 08:25 pm: [report]
Yikes! Normally I agree with the majority when it comes to posts on here… but geez! Give the poor woman a break. She’s happy, you don’t know her, it’s not your life. Just because it’s not the way other people might like the situation to happen, doesn’t mean it’s wrong!
Congratulations on your engagement!
landesign
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 08:51 pm: [report]
I thought this was pretty cool. Her picking out the ring was different, but we all have our versions of romantic.
I proposed to my wife over a campfire on a Sunday hike.
Surprised the heck out of her when I pulled out a ring.
lawyrgrl
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 10:56 pm: [report]
@TheWomanGettingMarried Huge hugs and congratulations to you!!! It sounds like you got the proposal, the ring and most importantly the man that you wanted. We should all be so lucky. (And not so damned snarky when another woman has the good fortune to be as happy as you clearly are!) I will look forward to reading your upcoming installments.
BumbleLush
wrote on November 19 2009 @ 02:30 pm: [report]
@TWGM I got engaged a month ago, and I named my ring too (Lucy). It’s not weird! It’s like someone said, you name your car, why not your ring? Unlike you, however, there was stubble on my legs and my hair was dirty. My excuse—We were at a cabin in Maine with his family, I was definitely not expecting it then! Anyway, congrats!!!
jmland1
wrote on November 19 2009 @ 05:26 pm: [report]
I picked my own ring and knew just about when the proposal was going to happen. I agree, the important thing is THAT it happened, not how. I think it’s cute that he set it all up and tricked you into thinking it wasn’t going to happen. Congratulations!
hellokitty
wrote on November 20 2009 @ 03:21 am: [report]
@dizzy: Hallelujah. Couldn’t have said it better myself.
wonderfultonight
wrote on November 20 2009 @ 04:52 pm: [report]
@TWGm I think what’s happened here is what happens to most writers when they start out. You put out your story, some liked it, others didn’t. Par for the course. Even the most famous authors were criticized.
To paraphrase that old “Forrest Gump” comment: “Writing for the Frisky is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you’re going to get.”
Chalk this up to experience and move on to your next chapter. Good luck.
BTW Congratulations on your engagement.
modern-bride
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 09:04 am: [report]
Very pretty ring, congratulations! I hope you both have a wonderful future together
ciarabug
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 04:19 pm: [report]
um, allow me to point out that naming your wedding ring is probably something you should discuss with a licensed therapist…not the internet.