Will You Tell Your Kids You Didn’t Inhale?

Nicaly
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 01:38 pm: [report]

eh I’ll probably be honest,  a little recreational doesn’t hurt every now and then but don’t ever become like my brother who went overboard and had a whole heap of a mess following him for a long time.

LilMissSunshine
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 01:44 pm: [report]

Yes, I will probably tell my hypothetical future children that I smoked pot. However I hate pot and the slightest contact with pot smoke makes me cry more easily than normal. I have no idea why. So it’s not like I will be romanticizing it. But I would want to talk to my kids about drugs and alcohol in general because addiction runs in my family. I’m sober, too. So it’s bound to come up.

bumbler
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 01:44 pm: [report]

I only had the drug talk from my dad who prefaced it with “I’m not going to tell you I’ve never smoked pot or done a line”  TMI right off the bat.  I have no problems telling my kids that I’ve smoked pot on more than one occasion, did inhale, did get high and felt sick from the experience.  I won’t have a problem with them experimenting with pot from time to time as long as they’re not too young, not doing it too frequently and not letting it interfere with their lives.  I tried it in college which I feel was the right time to do it.

Riley
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 01:47 pm: [report]

The fact that my mother told me about her experiences with drugs didn’t have a lot of bearing on my views and use thereof.

So, yeah, I’ll tell my kids if they ask.  I’ll also tell them about all of the people I knew growing up that couldn’t handle their booze/drug of choice.  The grand majority are living well off the state with multiple children or in dead-end jobs.

Knowing when you’ve had enough is something I’d rather teach them than just all the “evils” of alcohol and marijuana.

Erin G
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 01:53 pm: [report]

I’ll probably tell my kids in stages. The older they get, they mature from thinking “You did it, so don’t be a hypocrite” into “Okay Mom understands so I can be honest with her”. Pot conversation will come before the hallucinogen conversation LOL

My dad told me he smoked pot when he was younger. He told me this when I was in 3rd grade. I was old enough to handle it, thinking “so pot is something that’s okay to try when you’re in your 20s”. This probably is why I didn’t really smoke until college.

Nowadays, my dad just tells me when I come to visit to not “stink up the house”. Oh and FYI: I’m a successful accounting major with good grades. Looks like my dad made the right choice to be honest.

Erin G
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 01:55 pm: [report]

@Riley: “Knowing when you’ve had enough is something I’d rather teach them than just all the “evils” of alcohol and marijuana.”

VERY good perspective. I agree.

SCRMOM
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 01:56 pm: [report]

This goes back to the lying to your kids question a few weeks ago.  Yes, I will be honest with them if they ask, but I have rather limited experiences with respect to drugs.

Perceptible
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 01:57 pm: [report]

I know I’m in the minority here, but one of the reasons (not the only one) I never smoked pot was because I wanted to honestly tell my kids one day that, no, I never did it. I don’t believe in lying to children for any reason. (I have plenty of other reasons, like ewww, and all the people I saw doing it were rather gross, so there was no appeal to me.)

I remember finding a “pipe” at my dad’s house as a kid (he was the overly honest type) and when I asked what it was, he told me that sometimes he and my stepmother liked to smoke a little pot. I remember being mortified that he would do something like that. I remember thinking he was a hypocrite (he sent me to Catholic school AND Christian summer camp – if that won’t screw you up I don’t know what will). And I remember being very disappointed in him. I was 12.

So, yes. I’ll be honest with my kids. I never smoked pot and am proud of it. (Not judging anyone else, here. Just answering the question.)

Humble Bee
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 01:59 pm: [report]

I think my mom married the dude your mom dated. lol. My dad still rides a motorcycle and smokes marijuana (he has MS) My parents are major hippies, my mom more on the catholic conservative side but not completely devoted to it either. No one in my immediate family is a screw up, my brother and I smoke occasionally but my sisters hate it and would never do it. My parents were always open with me, always let me make my own mistakes, and I love them for that. They have never lectured me, but have always been there for me and guided me instead of telling me not to drink, they just told me if I was curious I could always drink with my girlfriends at the house under their supervision. They never said no to anything (except sleepovers!), they would take me to concerts but always be parked outside, I could stay at the party until 3 am, but my dad and mom both would be parked outside the party. They both partied a lot so they just made sure to give me plenty of advice. I trust them so much, I always call them to pick me up when I get too drunk to drive, I don’t even call friends. I can say I have some of the best parents ever.

bethlynn00
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 02:03 pm: [report]

My mom was always honest about her drug use, because she barely used anything! She told us she got high like 3 times, but hated it and she told us that she drank pretty regularly for a while starting form like age 16-25/26.  The thing she did lie about until last year was when she lost her virginity.  She told us that she was 15, but then last year we were having a conversation and she let it slip she was actually 13! If I have kids I will be very honest about my drug use, although like my mom, I don’t have much history with drugs and alcohol and now I haven’t used any in like 5 years.  So I’m going to be a pretty boring parent.

Erin G
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 02:05 pm: [report]

@ Humble Bee:

Your parents sound awesome! My dad was similar. He let me travel to anime conventions 4 hours from home with friends because he knew I was mature and smart enough to not do anything stupid. While he was a jerk, he was also very willing to fork over alot of responsibility to me. As long as my grades were good, I could stay out as late as I wanted. No curfew, no rules about not drinking (just NO drunk driving, but I never did that).

My best friend’s mom has MS, so she, and her dad, smoke pot regularly. They’re former hippies. My friend and I would smoke with her parents. This is a line I’ll never cross with my future kids. I saw that it didn’t give my friend enough boundaries, and because of this, she’s screwed up alot of things and cheated herself out of alot of opportunities.

Steph Pro
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 02:16 pm: [report]

I grew up with strict parents, and of my siblings, I am the wild one.  I am not even that wild, but compared to my three brothers, I am out of control.  I do not think hiding my past, or any experiences I have with addicts, really will help my future children.  I think giving them information will help them.  My parents never talk about sex or drugs.  Alcohol never seems to be that big of a deal for them, so it is a “just be smart” kind of topic.  Maybe if my parents talked more openly to me, I would not have so many questionable decisions under my belt. Telling me not to do something, and giving me no reason why I should not do it does not help me not do whatever it is.  I would even say it helped encourage me.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 02:16 pm: [report]

Alcohol is a drug. Don’t say “Drugs and Alcohol” like it’s some separate entity. Just because it has a powerful lobby getting all these sayings into your head doesn’t mean you have to keep repeating it.

emflow
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 02:23 pm: [report]

My mom told me a little about her drug experience and gave me some really good advice: “If you’re going to try anything be sure your with people you really trust.” If I have kids I’ll be honest with them, but I’m not going to share every detail cause I don’t think either of us would really want that much sharing.

chloe
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 02:36 pm: [report]

when i was younger my parents only told me “don’t do drugs” and i knew vaguely that my dad had drug problems when he was younger. when i reached 16/17/18 they were more open about their drug use, i found out what specific problems my dad had and what they had both done. i never felt uncomfortable talking about drugs with them, be it their drug use or mine.

Erin G
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 02:39 pm: [report]

Cheese:

I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.

SCRMOM
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 02:42 pm: [report]

@ErinG: While I’m not him, I can say with (almost) certainty that he is not being sarcastic.

joyy
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 02:42 pm: [report]

@Cheese - welcome to one of my biggest pet peeves of all time (having worked in prevention until very, very recently).  I think half the reason we’ve got such rapidly increasing underage drinking/binge drinking problems is because alcohol is not portrayed to kids for what it is: a drug.  And fed/state terms are usually ATOD: alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs.  The ‘other’ implies that alcohol is a drug as well, but separating it so much based on legality, imo, ultimately sends the message that it’s safer.  And really, it’s not.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 02:48 pm: [report]

@joyy: I was lumping it in there because I want pot to be legal. If cigarettes and alcohol are legal I don’t see the harm in pot (Stupid lobbyists, private prisons, pharma companies, and massive law enforcement budgets).

@Erin G: Not sarcasm.

Erin G
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 02:53 pm: [report]

@ Cheese and others:

While I agree with you on your stance, I would like to make the point that there is one facet about alcohol that does make it “safer” than drugs. While the former kills more people than the latter (so not safer!), alcohol brings on less punishment from law enforcement.

Example: My best friend (see above on how she smokes with her parents) got pulled over for running a stop sign. She had an open container in her car and was only 19. Law enforcement cited her for Underaged Drinking or Underaged Possession of Alcohol (forget which). She didn’t go to jail, no probation, no classes, etc. She was slapped with a fine.

Had that been a bowl with weed or a pain pill (this happened to my brother), she would have been arrested, possibly jailed, probation, and drug classes.

“Safer” in that sense, yes.

equnsuocha
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 03:00 pm: [report]

If they ask I will tell them , I am a legal user in CA and the topic is bound to come up.  Rather than falling back on the old “do as I say” adage, I will tell my future children what my sister told hers.

Yes I used marijuana and yes I did it when I was young, but look at our life and see what can happen when you party before your brain is fully grown.  There are probably better things I could have dne with my life but I didnt because I was partying and now I am paying the price.  When you are grown you can make your own choices but I will protect you now since you can’t make an intelligent choice.

Fact is if they are going to do it, there isnt much you can do to stop them, but citing examples of people they know who arent living to their fuill potential because of drugs and alchohol is a good covert scare tactic IMO

superstyling
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 03:00 pm: [report]

Yes, that is true, just because something is or isn’t legal doesn’t mean that what is legal is safer for you than what is illegal.  This is especially true for alcohol.  Alcohol is far more dangerous a drug concerning the damage to the individual, relationships, brain damage, involvement with aggressive behaviours, etc, than opiates, hallucigents, marijuana…

When I have kids, I will not teach them upon morality or subjective values (of such that make up so much legal code), but look up the current research and validated books on the effects of drugs and tell my kids the truth of what it is like.  I will not give a negative skew.  There are positive ways to experience life and to be aware of possible outcomes and consequences - which are generally linked to the type of people one chooses to have parties with, and not necessarily the drug as being the cause, but how it can be an addition to the type of energy of the environment.  Teaching how to be safe with others is more important than scaring kids away from experimenting with drugs.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 03:01 pm: [report]

@Erin G: Depends on the state. Normally thy would take your stash and break your pipe. It’s too much work for them, nor do they have time time. That is to assume that they aren’t sadistic cops, in that case they would hound the #&@$% out of you for no reason.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 03:02 pm: [report]

@superstyling: Actually opiates are plenty bad for you. Makes you incontinent and destroys organs like alcohol.

SCRMOM
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 03:03 pm: [report]

@ErinG: The word you are looking for is “legal” (if 21 or over), not “safer”.

equnsuocha
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 03:16 pm: [report]

@Cheese I am in No Cal, Mendocino County to be exact, and even though I stand to lose a good chunk of supplemental income, I agree that MJ should be legal.  Here are some numbers for ya:

1 pack of cigarettes costs $.75 to manufacture
nothing else of that plant is useful
1 pack of MJ cigarettes, factoring in certain extra costs will run in the ball park of $2.50
The remainder of the plant is useful

One pack of cigarette sized joints is approx 1 oz of marijuana which currently sells anywhere from $250 (outdoor shwag) -  $1000 for stupid Bev Hills kids like Speidi.  Lets say the average is a good old $420.

Now for the math
Marijuana Manufacturer sells for : $10.00
Retailer is to make 100% profit : $20.00
City Tax $50
County Tax $50
State Tax $50
Federal Tax $50
That brings the cost to $220.00 a pack for an ounce of good MJ bought legally.

If ONE retailer manages to sell 5 packs a day for 20 days
Retailer Profit (on which he pays MORE taxes) $1000
City/County/State/Federal Tax Revenue: $5000/ mon

This is one slow retailer.  What’s the cost of busting mom and pop grows?  How about you legalize it and put the dangerous cartels out of business while bolstering the flagging coffers of our local and federal governments?  Oh and the rest of the plant can be used to feed (thats right, look up leaf and seeds NOT buds) and clothe the poor.

Make the most of the Indian hemp seed, and sow it everywhere!
George Washington in a note to his gardener at Mount Vernon (1794), The Writings of George Washington, Volume 33, page 270 (Library of Congress)

kayti
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 04:10 pm: [report]

If, and that’s a big if, I have kids, I’d handle it the same way my mom did. She told me she’s gotten high (though usually it just made her fall asleep) and drank when she was younger. That was irrelevant to me, but unlike some parents threatening their kids with how they’d be punished, and how only bad people drink/do drugs, she told me she trusted my judgment and if I was going to do anything “don’t be stupid about it, and if you get drunk somewhere, either tell me you’re staying there or call me to pick you up.”
I don’t know if that affected my behavior: I dislike weed, and I rarely drank, and my closest friends #&@$% up their lives had more of an impact. but damn was I grateful for the one or two nonjudgmental drives home when I wanted out.

I was diagnosed with narcolepsy when I was seventeen, and I don’t like how alcohol and my newest meds mix, and if I don’t take them I’ll just fall asleep. I get tipsy once in awhile, but that’s about it now.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 05:22 pm: [report]

@equnsuocha: I dunno if that was condescending or not, but I agree with you. Lol on the supplemental income (Ship to jersey?) front too.

In all actuality I think your numbers are conservative.

I am also well aware of hemp’s value as a cash crop…try telling that to the cotton/plastics/paper industries though.

Jessalyn
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 05:32 pm: [report]

I’m actually terrified about how to deal with this when it comes up with my potential future kids. I’m a total goody two-shoes and never had any desire to experiment with anything, so I never did. My parents assumed that, after following all the rules in high school, I’d go off the deep end in college, and were prepared to do whatever they could to keep me on track. My version of “going off the deep end” turned out to be deciding I hated the whole “drink yourself stupid” mentality of college partying and wouldn’t drink until I was 21, or whatever the legal age was wherever I happened to be.

How do I relate to my kids’ desire to experiment when I don’t understand it?? Maybe they’ll be totally boring like me…otherwise, I guess my best bet is to tell them about friends I watched flunk out of college due to substance abuse.

mayorbubbles
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 11:03 pm: [report]

@Jessalyn

I’m the exact same way. I have no desire to experiment with drugs, alcohol, or tobacco. I probably won’t drink until I’m 21.

I know both of my parents have experimented with them all. My mom used to smoke marijuana, drink underage, ad smoke. Now she only drink socially. My dad engaged in all of the following and drink occasionally, smoke marijuana occasionally, and smokes a lot. I think the main reason I don’t do these things are because my parents raised me to be independent and were upfront with me about anything, they also taught me to say no to peer pressure. I also don’t surround myself with people who engage in those activities. I see my peers doing these things and the affect it has on them and I simply don’t want to be a part of that.

I think people should be honest with their children and show them the cause and effect of these things. Also, if the children are going to engage in these activities anyway, teach them moderation.

It’s like when my mom said, “If you have sex you could get pregnant or contract an std, so don’t have sex…. but if you’re going to, use a condom” hahahaha

skywalk
wrote on October 10 2009 @ 11:59 am: [report]

My 16 YO daughter asked the questions and I tried to be as honest as possible without going into too many details..

PinkRanger
wrote on October 10 2009 @ 12:22 pm: [report]

@eqonsuocha: Hopefully by the time I have kids the u.s. government and it’s people will understand everything you just said.

And of course I’ll tell them I inhaled, often, that was the point. *great obama quote…..*

Anniushka
wrote on October 10 2009 @ 12:57 pm: [report]

Oh gosh. I haven’t thought about this at all.

My parents never talked to me about drugs or sex. I’m 20. I’m a virgin and the only drug I’ve ever used was alcohol—and most of the alcohol I’ve consumed has been in the company of (and in many cases, offered by) my parents. I don’t really like the way alcohol makes me feel after about the first drink; I’ve only been stumbling-drunk once, and I hated it (it was in a restaurant in Italy… did NOT enjoy having to stabilize myself on strangers’ tables on my way out, then having someone zip my coat for me). I have no interest whatsoever in drugs or tobacco; marijuana just smells like a roadkill skunk to me and I wouldn’t want it any closer to me than it had to be, and tobacco just isn’t in any way worth all the health problems it can cause you (and the bad breath! And the stinky clothes! And the people looking down on you for smoking!).

Now that I think of it, I think both my parents were in the school of parenting that discourages forbidding things—the idea being that if you forbid something and get all riled up about it, the kid is going to get curious about it and try to find out what all the hullabaloo is about. I never remember getting sat down for a talk about what I shouldn’t do, unless I was already doing something harmful (like being mean to my siblings, etc.). Seems to have worked.

sammyisadog
wrote on October 10 2009 @ 08:50 pm: [report]

I grew up in small-town Ohio, where nearly every person I knew drank and did drugs regularly - as far back as junior high.  My father is an actual “I was really at Woodstock” hippie, so of course I have always known that he was the life of the party, shall we say.  Also, we never ever kept booze of any kind in my house.  I have no idea why I chose not to do drugs or drink in high school.  I didn’t even start drinking straight away in college - I made it a whole semester without going out almost at all.  I went through a pot phase junior year of college, and I certainly would say that these days, I’m a bit of a drinker.  I’m in my early 20s still, so I think that’s okay.  I don’t know my parents magical trick, but I hope it works for my kids, too.

...I’ll never forget the day my daddy told me about how he went on a two week meth bender back in 1968-69, when they sort of first came out with it, and said it was non-habit forming. Ha.

Lanai
wrote on October 13 2009 @ 06:05 am: [report]

My parents never tried drugs, my dad tried alcohol once and decided it wasn’t for him (my mom 25 yrs into marriage still tries to pressure him into drinking lol) so there was nothing for them to struggle telling me. My mom was open to her experiences of peer pressure and how she dealt with it.  My father being in law enforcement simply put, “Don’t break the law, whether you agree or not you will be punished if you break it.” The best advice my mom gave me which applies to a lot of things in life was don’t bother with anything that could lead to addiction. I have always been independent and early on the thought of NEEDING something was a huge put off. I want to be in control.

My son has the same spirit that I do, so I assume I will handle it the same way they did. In my family I am fortunate/unfortunate? enough to have enough people that were ruined by addiction to show him the outcome of their lives and the outcome of mine. Vast difference. I know the whole pot isn’t addictive spill, no worries, I hear it all the time. It’s still against the law though so I will let him know as soon as it isn’t, go for it! Until then enjoy being yourself, there’s no additive out there that will make you better or life easier, just a good heart, accepting lifes challenges and surrounding yourself by people who love you.