Why I Cheated
Posted by: YourTango.com
Filed in:
sex
10:30AM, Monday January 5th 2009
There’s no sex like beginning-of-a-relationship sex. The anticipation. The exploring. The grabbing your new lover as soon as they walk in the door, throwing them onto the kitchen table and banging their brains out with the fervor of a Greek god and the enthusiasm of Rush Limbaugh on an anti-Hillary tirade after a three day coke binge. (Apologies if your lover’s face is replaced by Rush’s chubby mug next time you’re going at it ... ).
Inevitably, what was once fresh and unfamiliar can become boring or lackluster. And that magic can only occasionally be recaptured with your significant other through the joy of make-up sex. But some people don’t want to have to depend on an argument over whether or not it was their turn to do the dishes in order to get their rocks off.
Actually, make that lots of people. Cheaters, we call them. According to Infedelityfacts.com (the fact that the website exists is a statement in itself) 57% of men and 54% of women admit to having cheated in a relationship at some point.
Dave Carder, author of Torn Asunder Workbook: Recovering From an Extramarital Affair, said that infidelity generally falls into two distinct categories. “There are predators who are out looking all the time,” he said. But it is the second group that is the most typical. “The other kind of adultery happens to people who are not looking, but they just get swept off their feet,” he says. “There is a lot of shame, remorse, guilt, problems in the marriage. Those people are a very different group of people than the first group.”
Infidelity is nothing new. If Adam and Eve had had more options they’d probably have cheated on each other. These days it’s much easier to reach for that forbidden fruit, and everybody does it for their own reasons.
Want to hear their confessions? Read the rest of this article at YourTango.com.
TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
Perceptible
wrote on January 5 2009 @ 11:48 am: [report]
I’m so tired of excuses or reasons for why people cheat. Have a little dignity, have a little respect, grow up and JUST. DON’T. DO. IT. It’s inexcusable and unforgivable.
duckie
wrote on January 6 2009 @ 12:21 pm: [report]
or avoid the temptation of cheating by admitting to yourself (and making it clear to your sexual partners) you’re not someone who is cut out for monogamy.
Montana
wrote on January 6 2009 @ 08:20 pm: [report]
I agree with Perceptible. Plus, I have been cheated on and it HURTS!
Chelle
wrote on January 8 2009 @ 09:32 am: [report]
I believe that if you get to the point where you want to cheat, you don’t need to be in a relationship. Either something is wrong in the relationship or you’re just not ready to settle down (even if you thought you were when you entered the relationship). I did it once in high school. I was young but that’s still no excuse. I’ll never do it again because I’ll never forget the expression on my now ex’s face when I told him. Not only did I break his heart, I broke my own.
joyy
wrote on January 8 2009 @ 10:00 am: [report]
I’m with Chelle. Not that I cheated on an ex, but that if you actually feel compelled to cheat on someone, you shouldn’t be in the relationship. I mean, if you have the balls to sleep around on someone, why not just (wo)man up and break it off? I’ve been somewaht tempted, on occasion (who hasn’t?), but I wouldn’t and couldn’t ever actually do it. Both my bf and I’s most recent exes (both were serious relationships for us) cheated, and it’s not something either of us would inflict on another person, let alone someone we love: each other.
EastCoastMale
wrote on January 8 2009 @ 03:51 pm: [report]
I agree with both Percetiple and Chelle on this.
Perceptible in the fact that there are no such thing as reasons for cheating just excuses. Reasons maybe to a diluded mind of the cheater but excuses to anyone else. Just dont do it.
Chelle in that if you are willing to cheat then you need to be in a totally different situation all together. Surprising that people who cheat, men and women, give the reason that their relationship was falling apart and they wanted spice, love, attention or whatever. They have the time and effort to devote to leading a double life and lying to their original partner while going behind their back but not to devote towards fixing the relationship or just admitting to themselves they need to be out of it.
SeattleMama
wrote on January 22 2009 @ 07:02 pm: [report]
When my now-husband and I started dating our senior year, we agreed that infidelity was not an option- if he felt he needed to stick it to someone else, then the decent thing to do would be to dump me first, and he felt the same way (would rather be a dump-ee then a cheat-ee). To us, it’s a matter of respect- for each other, and for ourselves.
Yeah, forbidden fruit can be tempting… but there is no fling worth losing what we have together!
CuteCora
wrote on February 19 2009 @ 08:10 am: [report]
I don’t believe in cheating..it’s againist my religion..LOL~ if you are gonna cheat..you might as well leave the relationship that you are in, clearly you are not happy.. I never really understood cheating..why would you want to be with someone that you are cheating on..logically and realisticlly it just does not make any sense,myself & my husband agreed that if we ever wanted to cheat on one another than we have a problem within our realtionship that we would do the best to fix and if not than just leave eachother beofre we do things that would possibly hurt us more in the end…however this would require COMMUNICAATION.which unfourtunally a very high percentage of relationships do not have…. lack of communication = lack of a “healthy relationship” so people in relationships that don’t have it..harsh reality..don’t expect your relationship to go far or be meaningful~
duhh
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 05:20 am: [report]
I have never cheated on anyone….....
the only way I would do that is if I told them flat out first that I was going to and the relationship was so far gone that it was inevitable anyway….......