Why Do Men Keep Their Old, Holey, Rotting Boxers?
Posted by: Amelia McDonell-Parry
Filed in:
guys
1:45PM, Monday October 5th 2009
Here is one of many theories I have about men: They all own and wear at least one pair of underwear that is so decrepit, so thread-barren, so holey, stained, and/or falling apart at the seams that they should have been thrown away years ago. My ex had a pair like this—they were boxer shorts and they had so many holes in the crotch that eventually they formed one giant hole, which his testicle would peek out of on those occasions when he would wear them sans pants while lounging on the couch. He had a bizarre attachment to these almost entirely disintegrated pair of boxers and I’m pretty sure he got a tiny thrill at how mortified and disgusted I was when he would wear them. Eventually, he had to toss them when the hole got so big that the boxer shorts turned into a skirt. Since him, I’ve met other men with the same fondness for that one pair of barely-there-boxers and I have finally decided it’s time to find out WHY men hold on to them. After the jump, guys share their thoughts on why, oh why, they still have that pair of underwear.
“For a long time I did keep a pair of glow in the dark teddy bear boxers. They were the first boxers I ever owned, and they were a gift from my high school girlfriend. I loved those things. I kept them long after the glow in the darkness no longer functioned.”
“Until a few months ago I had one or two pairs that I’d had since high school. They smelled fine going on. No stainage. But then they tore a bit and they were tossed.”
“I rocked a pair yesterday that are on their way out. They’re beat up, there’s, like, four big holes in the crotch and all around the stitching. They basically have no crotch and the waist band is all stretched out now, so they’re loose too. They just always end up back in the drawer. I don’t really think about it. They almost feel like I’m not wearing anything when i put them on. Probably because I’m not really.”
“I have one pair of quitters. They’re white boxers with blue stripes. I’m not sure why I keep them. Probably because they are part of the rotation, haven’t been replaced by a equally noteworthy pair, and because they make my girlfriend extremely angry and sad and upset and depressed!”
“I just threw away a pair that I should have thrown away probably six months ago. They were fraying and the elastic was all worn out, so I had to roll them in the waist like some girl on the field hockey team. I always end up keeping them because I would be down one pair of underwear and they were the same type of material as an oxford shirt. I wore them even when I had other underwear I can wear. I think I felt like if i threw away this pair I would have to buy another pair to put in the rotation and this pair was a good pair.”
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_jsw_
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 01:49 pm: [report]
For me, it’s a lot simpler: when I’ve brought my clothes for the day into the bathroom and have gotten out of the shower and started getting dressed, unless the underwear are utterly unwearable, I’ll put them on anyway instead of taking time to go get another pair. By the time I take them off (pre-shower next day), I’ve forgotten how bad they are. Since I wear glasses, but not while getting ready in the morning, I don’t tend to notice if they’re in sorry shape once they’re in the dirty clothes pile and just end up tossing them into the laundry basket, starting the cycle all over again. Sometimes I notice while folding them after washing them, but usually I’m doing something else while folding and don’t pay attention to them.
I don’t have any “special” underwear save from one pair (the reason they’re special shall remain my secret), but they’re fortunately in good shape. And if they end up worn out, I’ll toss them too.
323Felicity
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 01:51 pm: [report]
HA! I lol’d so hard at this post! This totally reminds me of nearly every pair of undies my bf owns. He only has like 6 pairs and absolutely refuses to buy any more. It’s not as though his are stained or any big holes, but they are all really faded and the elastic’s all streched out. LOL!
joyy
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 02:03 pm: [report]
I’ve deliberately destroyed several pairs of my bf’s underwear that reaches that stage (and it was pretty friendly - what guy complains when a woman rips his underwear off?). But now I need to work on his sock collection, which is riddled by giant holes in the sole nearly the width of his foot in diameter.
I don’t approve of viewing men as projects, but if I don’t buy him new socks/underwear, he’ll wear the same ragged stuff forever. His explanation? That guys see no reason to throw clothes out ... ever ... which explains his closet full of hawaiian shirts and bad polyester soccer jerseys.
NomChompsky
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 02:36 pm: [report]
Personally, I have a couple pairs that aren’t in particularly great shape. They rarely see the light of day, but I like to know that if I’m ever in a bind where I can’t do laundry for a long time, I have some desperation underwear to go to. It’s not like they’re taking up space that I need for something else, so I see no reason to discard something with potential (if unlikely) utility.
LilMissSunshine
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 02:36 pm: [report]
Women totally do this too. Well at least this woman. I had a pair of blue jockey bikini undies that I acquired when I was 13. I wore them forever. Actually I’m seriously not sure if they’re not just in the dirty clothes basket now. But they are falling apart barely attached to the elastic anymore. But I love them. They are amazingly comfortable. They’re also lucky hence the attachment. They were my lucky surgery undies. I never had a bad surgical out come if I wore those undies the day of surgery.
SouthOC
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 02:50 pm: [report]
Once a year I throw out ALL of my underwear and socks, and replace them with new ones. The first time it was painful. I may have even shed a few tears, but now I look forward to the ritual.
majicksand
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 03:56 pm: [report]
I think we (let’s be honest, women do it too) do it because most people don’t see our underwear. You wear the good ones in the beginning of a relationship, but after you’ve gotten comfortable, no one really cares. It isn’t a realtionship deal-breaker for most people. Besides, when you’re on a tight budget, the hidden stuff is the first sacrifice. I’m gonna buy the cute top or shoes long before I buy all new underwear. By the time you’ve made enough money to loosen up the purse strings, it’s a pattern.
LunaLena
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 05:43 pm: [report]
Does everyone see the post by poco1 above this? Yes? Good. Now IGNORE IT. He’s obviously just trolling for attention, and if we ignore him, maybe he’ll go away.
@majicksand - I totally agree with what you said there. I have a couple of bras that have a few holes, or the straps are getting a bit stretched, but they still do their job (i.e. provide support), so I don’t see much point in replacing them, since no one but my boyfriend is going to see them. And let’s face it, if my boyfriend is in a position to see them, he’s a lot more interested in getting them off than noticing how worn they are. :D
Casper
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 05:50 pm: [report]
I think guys only get attached to them and refuse to throw them out when you point out how manky they actually are, telling them to get rid just makes them hold onto the underwear that much more. I think females are the same, we all have that one bra we lounge around in and wear on lazy days, we all have the granny pants for periods or lazy days, and generally we hold onto them because they’re comfortable. Most guys hold onto them because they’re comfortable and because they know it drives the girlfriends mad that they wont throw them out and buy more.
majicksand
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 05:50 pm: [report]
@Luna: Exactly. My husband appreciates my lingerie for 2.5 seconds tops, and he’s definitely not kicking me out of bed if it isn’t up to par.
Iammina
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 07:51 pm: [report]
I buy my guy’s boxers and he buys my panties. The old undies get tossed.
k_roja
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 08:18 pm: [report]
I have to admit that as a lady, I am obsessed with buying underwear even when I don’t need them, and I have a drawer devoted solely to them. I’m pretty sure I could go three months without having to do laundry.
However, inexplicably, I have two pairs of black cotton undies that I have had since HIGH SCHOOL (almost a decade ago) that I got from Target. They are almost in shreds but continue to be comfortable and my “monthly” stand-bys. Recently bought two more pairs of black cotton undies from Target, very similar to the ten-year-old ones, for the specific purpose of feeling like I could throw out the others. I haven’t.
I now think it’s more about seeing how long they will actually last!
melissaann
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 09:47 pm: [report]
...so basically this article is saying that they never have a reason for keeping them around?
Little Lamb
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 10:01 pm: [report]
My bf also has two pair from high school (he’s 28). He likes them because it reminds him of his glory days on the football field. They match his state championship t-shirt which is also in shreds. What a dork!!!
adamjs
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 05:49 am: [report]
@melissaann: yup - the actual reason is simply that we can’t be bothered to get rid of them because it is more effort than keeping them in the rotation.
@joyy: the sock collection is a whole new ball game. I can’t manage to keep work socks without holes for more than a few weeks - if you threw out my holey socks I’d have nothing but sports socks left :-|
Mainer
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 05:58 am: [report]
I had to recently get rid of a pair. They were black, I’ve had them since high school, and they had roughly 248 holes throughout. I had to throw them away because they weren’t technically underwear anymore. They looked like an old rag someone used to put out a small grease fire in the kitchen with. But I think guys hold on to clothes for so long because we’re
sentimentalwe hate shopping for clothes. I rely on Christmas and Birthdays to build my wardrobe. But our old underwear is a lot like our old t-shirts - we like them and are comfortable with them. So please, ladies, dont’ throw them away without consulting us.I Go To 11
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 07:08 am: [report]
My fiance isn’t so bad about underwear. It’s socks and pajama pants where we have issues. For the past 6 months he’s been saying he needs new black socks, because the ones he has have holes in the bottom. He finally has a pack of new black socks…that I bought for him 2 days ago because he never got around to it. Yes, he continued to wear holey socks for 6 months!
I have also made him get rid of pajama bottoms that were so worn out, they basically turned into crotchless pants. I don’t care if we’re at home, it still looks ridiculous! And it’s not like he doesn’t have other pajama pants that are in better shape to wear, and I’m sure are equally as comfortable.
OKSUNI
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 08:04 am: [report]
I am a girl..and I do the same thing. I categorize my underwear depending on my relationship status and menstrual cycle. I have pretty panties that I only wear at the beginning of a relationship (you know, the expensive ones with matching bras), then everyday comfy cotton ones (when Im single or am in a long term relationship) and then my period panties (self-explanatory).
BTW—I dont completely stop wearing the pretty ones when in a relationship! Once the comfy ones become old I downgrade them to the period category…until its time for them to go…
bogart4017
wrote on October 7 2009 @ 12:43 pm: [report]
I don’t get it. I DESPISE holes in socks and underwear. I’m constantly in that department even if i go to modells. I have enough boxers and socks i guess to last if laundry doesnt get done for three or four months. I have to because my wife jacks all my socks and thats when the holes start. I’m throwing them away and shes yelling at me to save them. For what? They have holes! I just go abd buy a 2 packs of ten for $20 and keep it moving. One Saturday night in NY i was the victim of a hit and run crossing a major thru-way. Believe me i was very comfortable waiting on that ambulance knowing there were no holes anywhere.
LoveMN
wrote on October 8 2009 @ 02:26 am: [report]
Meh. I have these teeny tiny black boy shorts I’ve had for probably 6 years or so (yikes!) I will say that they do have a small hole that has formed in the crotch. But, my ass looks fantastic in them! Different then some of my other boyshorts, I just don’t know what it is about these ones. So for now, they aren’t going anywhere. I have TONS of underwear just like any other girl, I’m sure. But I just have this attachment to them, and they aren’t completely falling apart so what the hell? My butt looks cute in the end, even with a small hole
C.Munro
wrote on October 8 2009 @ 02:11 pm: [report]
I’m not always great about throwing them out, but I find my boxers get quite uncomfortable once the elastic loses it’s stretch and will take them out of the rotation, leaving them to sit in the corner of a drawer somewhere. I really wouldn’t care if they got thrown out, or burned, or whatever, I’m just too lazy to do it myself.
Now my holey old rockshow t-shirts are sacred, and not to be disturbed by anyone.