Why Be A Rebound?
Posted by: Amelia McDonell-Parry
Filed in:
relationships
11:40AM, Monday July 13th 2009
This weekend, Jon Gosselin took his new girlfriend, 22-year-old Hailey Glassman, on a romantic trip to Europe. (FYI, Glassman is a different twentysomething woman than the one Gosselin cheated on his wife with.) Given the high-profile nature of Gosselin’s marriage, impending divorce, and, um, life, it’s hard to understand why anyone would be happy to be this guy’s, well, rebound. Is it just sex? Is Glassman hoping to get wined and dined with some of Gosselin’s “Jon & Kate Plus 8” dollars? Or, gasp, does she think it could be love?
Why would someone choose to be the rebound? I’m not talking rebound sex—so long as everyone is on the same page, rebound sex is awesome. But what about being a rebound relationship? Oh, sure, a few of these may actually develop into true love, but more often than not, a rebound relationship burns hot and fast; it’s exciting because it’s fresh and new, but that wears off eventually and what’s left? The recently single one has pieces to pick up, freedom to enjoy, and wounds that need healing. The person who gets hurt in a rebound romance isn’t the one doing the rebounding—it’s the person they’ve brought along for the ride.
I’ve been the rebound and the rebounder and didn’t particularly enjoy either, but they forced me to learn a valuable lesson. I’ll never willingly be the rebound for someone I genuinely care for, or have someone I genuinely care for be my rebound. Even the most perfect of pairings can be shafted by a little thing called “timing.”
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SEMI-girl
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 12:01 pm: [report]
My first serious relationship, at 24, was with a guy who was on the rebound. I knew intellectually that it was a mistake but it’s hard to say no to a guy who you really care about and who genuinely cares about you. It ended three months later like you might expect: me in love for the first time and him finally admitting to himself and to me that he wasn’t ready for a new relationship. I don’t regret it, though I definitely wouldn’t repeat the experience either! Sometimes you just have to learn the hard way that it’s better to be alone than with someone who’s head and heart are still with somebody else!
bellarose
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 12:42 pm: [report]
Uhg I hate being the one who isn’t on the rebound, it just happened to me. My BF and I just broke up after three months of bliss because he isn’t over his ex-wife, who left him for some other guy and who cheated on him numerous times.
@SEMI-girl “Sometimes you just have to learn the hard way that it’s better to be alone than with someone who’s head and heart are still with somebody else!” Your right!
_jsw_
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 12:47 pm: [report]
Looking at the linked article, I’m guessing that Ms. Glassman can handle herself. I can see her appeal to Jon: for once, he might seem like the motivated one.
bumbler
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 12:59 pm: [report]
@jsw because this new one is stoned all the time? Best gossip reporting in a while http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/37147647.html the last picture almost made me squirt soda out of my nose.
shannac02
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 01:25 pm: [report]
Maybe she’s just, like, totally, like, into short bald guys… I mean, come on guys!!! He could totally be a, like, great person at heart… I mean, I would totes trust the guy that cheated on his wife and 8 kids in the media… This one looks like it could be rineSTONED, Ed Hardy love!
_jsw_
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 03:07 pm: [report]
@bumbler: Exactly. I don’t think her heart’s going to get broken, partially because I’m not sure she’s even aware that she’s dating him. The last pic does explain her appeal, though. She’s so hot that even potted plants fall for her.
ksdancer
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 04:11 pm: [report]
Actually, the best sitution for me was HE was on the rebound and I was on the rebound. It worked out well that way. And just what I needed to then MOVE FORWARD in my life in a more positive manner.
philosophyme
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 05:36 pm: [report]
This is not a “rebound” relationship. Rebounds are what non-married single people do with other people post break-up when they have regret about the relationship. Most people don’t know that 80% of the kinds of relationships that Mr. Gosselin has found himself in end within a year. He’s probably looking to escape from his marital troubles and this “other woman” is the answer to his prayers.
Gosselin is married with eight children - his relationship with Kate, the mother of those children, is far from over - it’s merely on hiatus. Once these two lovebirds get what they want from each other the relationship will end. Trust me, miss twenty-something is not a rebound, she’s an accomplice helping him escape from all the #&@$% he doesn’t want to deal with about his life. It’s not a rebound, it’s so much more complex than that.
bumbler
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 08:05 pm: [report]
Early midlife crisis?
_jsw_
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 08:11 pm: [report]
@philosophyme: correct me if I’m wrong, and I’m no fan of Jon or Kate, but… they’re separated and have filed for divorce. His choice of rebound is… not fantastic, but it is a rebound.
bumbler
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 08:14 pm: [report]
I wonder if Kate will try to stop Jon’s current or future girls from spending time with the kids. This could get ugly.
_jsw_
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 08:21 pm: [report]
@bumbler: “Jon and Kate Can’t Date”?
I’m sure Kate could try, and I’m sure it’d be best for the kids to not have others around them, but I doubt Kate can do all that much about it once the divorce is final.
_jsw_
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 08:22 pm: [report]
That was supposed to be a wink… that image always strikes me as a bit too “rolleyes”, which wasn’t the intent.
bumbler
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 08:27 pm: [report]
@jsw I don’t know, if she can prove the girl is a bad influence or detrimental to the kids she could have it written into the divorce agreement. I’m sure her lawyers have copies of the facebook pages already. And “Jon and Kate Can’t Date”? I’d watch it. Tag line could be: If you thought they were passive-aggressive and bitchy before…
_jsw_
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 08:38 pm: [report]
@bumbler: She could probably get this one written out, but… there will be a dozen more before the divorce is finalized, and afterwards, I really doubt there’s much she could do. But I don’t doubt that she’ll try. I love your tagline.
What I really fear - and we all know it’s just matter of time - is when a sex tape with one, the other, or both of them shows up.
bumbler
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 08:41 pm: [report]
@jsw Well you’ve guaranteed me nightmares for the evening. Thanks.
_jsw_
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 08:54 pm: [report]
@bumbler: Sorry. :( Welcome to my world. If it helps, there’s always the chance that the tape will be of Kate and that the guy will be somewhat attractive. But… that’s probably not what the tape’s gonna be….
philosophyme
wrote on July 14 2009 @ 11:42 am: [report]
@jsw: I wasn’t aware that they had filed for divorce. Nonetheless, his new fling won’t last for very long. I seriously doubt that miss twenty-something is going to want to be a potential mother figure for eight kids, especially if she parties with mary jane.