Who’s Your Sugar Daddy?
Posted by: Susannah Breslin
Filed in:
news, sex
9:00AM, Wednesday December 3rd 2008
This week, the female blogosphere is abuzz with chatter over a story by a college senior in Philadelphia entitled “My Sugar Daddy.” According to “Melissa Beech,” the pseudonymous author, she’s your average, upper-middle class girl: “I was blessed to have been raised with class, sent to the best schools, and taught to be well read, well spoken and well traveled.” During college, she worked in retail and as a waitress, but she spent more than she earned and the economy was tanking. When she set out to find a “real” job, she encountered a man who made her a different kind of offer: a “Mutually Beneficial Arrangement.” In a nutshell, he forks over around $5,000 a month, they travel together, he takes her to fancy hotels, and they have sex. He was already looking for such a relationship as a member of SeekingArrangement.com. Beech believes what she’s doing isn’t prostitution: “women have used their wiles and charms to get ahead for years.” So what do you think? Is she a smart girl working a recession to her advantage—or a call girl in denial?
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Amelia
wrote on December 3 2008 @ 09:01 am: [report]
I think she’s both, I guess. But yeah, she’s definitely a call girl if she wouldn’t have sex with this dude if not for the gifts and money and trips.
joyy
wrote on December 3 2008 @ 09:22 am: [report]
Call girl. If she’s ok with being a call girl, then that’s her business. But she went into this because what, she was simply living beyond her means? Please. If she were doing this to say, buy a family member out of trafficking or avoid some truly horrendous fate, then I would still go with ‘callgirl’, but I would have a little sympathy. Spoiled little rich girl whoring herself out to avoid having to give up a cushy lifestyle she’s become accustomed to? try again sweetheart.
Rachel Kramer Bussel
wrote on December 3 2008 @ 10:26 am: [report]
Either way, if she’s happy, that’s cool with me. I don’t think I could do that though because then what about your real life and real relationships? At the same time, um, I would love to have my student loans paid off but I don’t think I’d have sex with someone I wasn’t otherwise into to do it. I try not to judge though (much easier said than done!).
MissChaotic
wrote on December 3 2008 @ 10:48 am: [report]
Depends on if she cares about him for him, not just for the money. But if she’s doing it purely for money, then yes. But if she genuinely enjoys his company, its not so bad. After all, there was no indication that she was looking for a Sugar Daddy, she just happened to run into this guy, who wanted to help her out for a little something something in return.
Yea, I’m a bit liberal-minded. And no, I wouldn’t do it personally, but hell, my (non-existant) man could be broke and I wouldn’t feel comfortable accepting money, or expensive gifts from them.
vanya
wrote on December 3 2008 @ 11:16 am: [report]
I’m confused… how is it NOT prostitution? She is receiving financial compensation for providing sex. If that’s not prostitution, then I guess I don’t know what is. It’s great she was “swept off her feet” and but the business arrangement still stands. She would not be the recipient of this arrangement if she were not having sex with him.
That being said, I have nothing against prostitution. They’re consenting adults.
Thinking out loud, here… I wonder if this will bite her in the ass when the arrangement comes to an end? Now that she’s writing about it publicly, even with a pseudonym, it’s probably not going to be too hard for those close to her to figure out who it is. Will it have any impact on her networking/professional contacts she’s made through him? Will it affect a future relationship when the man she’s dating finds out she has been in this sort of arrangement?
The double-standard can be alive & well in many people… even those who you’d think would be above it, and even those who think they’re fine with it, at first. While they might not blink an eye at his end of the arrangement, they might have something to say about hers.
Katia
wrote on December 3 2008 @ 05:50 pm: [report]
Yep. I’d say that she is essentially a prostitute. So long as they are both happy with the arrangment and no one is getting hurt, I don’t judge her. We each have our own value system and hers seems to be based in materialistic things. What I find so annoying about her was how whiney she was at the prospect of hard work. Sweating as a waitress was too beneath her, however, she seems to think that sweating on her back has made her the envy of her college peers. “How many other college students are wearing Christian Louboutins to class?” She’s pretty full of herself. Frankly, when I was in college, I could have cared less what designer shoes anyone was wearing.
bunnymatic
wrote on December 5 2008 @ 07:55 am: [report]
sorry, she’s basically selling her body. call it prostitution, call her a call girl, etc. however, i do not essentially see her behavior as “wrong” in its nature, thats simply how she chooses to perpetuate herself on the ladder of autonomy.
im 25, come from an upper-middle class family, wore gucci pumps toted louis vuitton handbags, and drove a lexus convertible to college. however, that was all at mommy and daddy’s behest. i now work as a paralegal, zip around in yet another expensive luxury car (a “gift” from my parents, something i could never imagine affording at least 5 years down the line), and could very very EASILY date/have sex with men for money to fulfill that void of having all those expensive pretty things i was to in college, but thats not the lifestyle i want to live. that’s the lifestyle she wants to live, because, as someone stated above, she’s just a spoiled little brat that refuses to step out of her comfort zone. wait until she starts to sag. then we’ll see how she copes with losing her “wiles” and being forced to step out of her comfort zone.
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 5 2008 @ 08:08 am: [report]
I definitely feel that she is basically a prostitute, just on a monthly basis instead of a trick-by-trick plan. I cannot personally consider this just a relatinoship where he happens to give her money because he cares for her so much and they love each other. The reason I say this is because, if he were to stop giving her any money whatsoever, would she hang around out of love? None of us know the answer but I highly doubt it. Even the description of their activities is classic call girl, traveling together and going to expensive hotels combined with sex for money. That being said, if neither person are getting hurt, as of now, let them exchange money for behind closed doors activities, who cares. Although, once the economy is still tanking and he may decide to move on or end it, will she have a dependency and just find another “jonh”?
the_management
wrote on December 5 2008 @ 12:54 pm: [report]
This is well beyond the line that I think was so wonderfully examined in the Seinfeld episode where Jerry sleeps with his cleaning lady (who he is paying for cleaning) but she doesn’t clean… that was gray area. This girl is clearly a call girl. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
linnie
wrote on December 7 2008 @ 11:05 pm: [report]
Bunnymatic—why do you sound so self-righteous? If your folks didn’t buy you that car, or anything at all, you might be more able to understand why people do things for the money.
Yes, she is working as a prostitute. It sounds like she likes her job. What’s the problem? Sex is basically safe and fun, especially for a lot of women in their 20s. Most of us have had sex with someone it turned out we didn’t like that much or were not that attracted to, or we didn’t like the sex that much. It’s not the end of the world to have sex for various reasons besides raging attraction + affection.
If you’re a massage therapist and you give a great massage to a guy who’s kind of ugly and has bad social skills, that makes you a compassionate saint. But if you had sex with the same guy, then you’re “whoring yourself out”. (joyy)
Yes, Vanya’s right, it might come back to bite her in the ass—as the comments here show. Most people are judgmental and opinionated about prostitution, and they might make false assumptions about her character. Safest thing is to not tell a soul, just do it for a while, then for most people, it’s time to move on to a legitimate job and a regular romantic relationship.
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 7 2008 @ 11:15 pm: [report]
linnie, I think your example of the massage therapist is exactly right and apt. If she were to have sex with that guy who isnt an adonis and has some shyness about him, for money mind you, then yes by definition she is whoring herself out. I personally dont care if people were to have sex for money in the privacy of their own homes, hotel rooms or anywhere else private for that matter. The one thing that I find interesting is that this is all in context, what if a girlfriend or wife have sex with her partner and then needs a large amount of money for shopping, interesting how the context of a relationship changes things. Given it is ongoing and not just for sex (we hope) but then again a man could see a lady of the evening for several years going to only her, quite a thin line of separation I believe.