Who Should Paris Hilton “Date” Next?

Benji Madden from Good Charlotte is a goody-goody next to wild child, Paris Hilton.  Although they are supposedly “still in love,” they broke up due to lifestyle differences. She thought tattoos and a boy in the band would get her into the rock’ n’ roll lifestyle, but she picked a guy from a band loved by 13-year-olds. So, because her idea of a good time backstage is not getting a sugar high from pixie sticks, Paris decided to move on up and find a real tough guy, not just one who looks the part. Needless to say, Paris has gotta be a little wiser if she wants to live on the edge. She’s clearly going to need some help, especially since she’s also hunting for a new BFF. So we’ve got some suggestions for her new BF (you know this chick won’t stay single for long), after the jump…

Lydia Hearst:  Lydia is also an heiress, also bisexual, and also blonde. It’d be like masturbating for Paris (and you know that’s the best sex anyway.)  She could be herself with this rich girl and finally date someone who could pick up the bill. And hey, if Lydia was into crazy Aubrey O’Day, I’m sure she’d at least shag Paris as another publicity stunt.

Raffaello Follieri: Anne Hathaway’s ex likes the finer things in life—so much so that it landed him in jail. Paris can totally relate! They can swap spit and share stories about their time behind bars. Paris can be his pen pal and keep partying until he’s released in 2013. And if it’s money and conjugal visits Follieri is really after, well, then a Hilton would be his cell, er, soul mate. 

John Mayer: Paris loves exposure almost as much as publicity whore John Mayer.  And if there’s one thing he can give her, it’s a magazine cover. All she has to do is say she’s in love with him. Hey it worked for Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston!

Shia LeBeouf: They both just love to drink and drive and have been publicly shamed for it. In addition, the son of Indiana Jones is well trained with a whip. We’re pretty sure Paris is kinky like that!  He likes to go clubbing, but can’t seem to score with the ladies. We bet Paris wouldn’t take much convincing.

Pete Doherty: The British lead singer of Babyshambles is a tattooed bad boy—just like Benji claimed to be. So if Paris wants to play like a rock star, sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll lovin’ Pete will show her how to party harder than she ever has before. In addition to their mutual love of animals, Pete likes model-y waifs.