Where Have All The Good Collegiate Dudes Gone?
Posted by: Ami Angelowicz
Filed in:
guys
12:40PM, Monday February 8th 2010
One of the best parts of my college experience at NYU was sampling from the buffet of dudes on campus. It seemed like eligible men were lurking behind every dorm room door, in every lecture hall, and at every bump-and-grind dance party. College life was rife with men, whether they ended up becoming friends or more. There were certainly enough to go around. Apparently, this is not the case for the new generation of college ladies. According to The New York Times, women are totally outnumbering men on campus. The stats say that female enrollment is up to about 57 percent at most major universities (except the Ivys, where men still outnumber women) since the 2000s. So what does that mean for collegiate dating life? It means it’s in crisis.
While we’re happy that so many ladies are going to college and all, the gender imbalance seems to be skewing young people’s perspective dating. How? A senior at the University of North Carolina put it well. “Out of that 40 percent [of guys on campus], there are maybe 20 percent that we would consider, and out of those 20, 10 have girlfriends,” she said. “So all the girls are fighting over that other 10 percent.” This is putting young boys in prime position to pillage the playing field and leading women to “meet someone and go home for the night and just hope for the best the next morning” or “feel pressured to do more than they’re comfortable with to lock it down,” according to a female student. In addition to using sex to try to land a relationship—obviously a bad tactic—girls report that they are making exceptions to keep an existing relationship alive, such as letting cheating incidents go or other douchebag behaviors slide.
This news makes me really sad. I’ve always thought that college should be a time to explore love and relationships with a sense of optimism and freedom. You have so many years of your adult life to be jaded about love—why start so early? Of more concern to me is the mentality that this creates for young men and women entering the adult dating world. Men will be deluded into thinking that women will be OK with being treated like garbage and women will think that they have to settle for idiotic guys. So while they may be passing their classes, young people seem to be failing at love. [New York Times]
Is this the experience on your campus? Please share your stories in the comments.

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AtlantaGirl10
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 6:43 PM
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I'm trying to figure out where all those hot, eligible college classmates have gone since college? It's true they were a dime a dozen then. Should they be all grown up now? No where to be found in these parts. A mystery.
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Katya Irine
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 6:49 PM
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I go to a state university that is known for its science and math programs (it has some of the top engineering and architecture programs in the country) where I am (gladly) outnumbered by guys. It really depends on where you go.
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luke15chick
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 6:51 PM
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I graduated in 2007, in college I had a mixed group of friends guys and girls. All of us girls have graduated and found jobs. Out of 3 guys, two have flunked out of college and one has graduated but not found a job and has moved back in with his parents. Therefore I can completely understand this article, however I still maintain my standards of who I date.
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Beargrylls
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 6:53 PM
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I went to UNC and agree with you whole-heartedly about the negatives but you, too, must consider the flip side, where not long ago guys were forced to commit the same young mistakes in order to woo or maintain a relationship with a girl becUse of the plethora of other avAilable dudes. That being said it's funny when you know the folks quoted I. That article and in chapel hill, the odds were certainly in our favor. That being said, I certainly don't think my time there did anything to turn me into a womanizing d!*k.
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CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 6:56 PM
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*yawn* Maybe the issue doesn't lie with us. Perhaps you are undatable.</Devils Advocate>
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qwerty12
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 6:58 PM
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i think the better question is why is no one commenting on the fact that the female to male ratios in college is approaching 3:2
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luke15chick
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 7:01 PM
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@ CheeeeEEEEse thanks for the insult but I found a man was still able to maintain my standards of dating.
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C.Munro
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 7:08 PM
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If that's the kind of behavior these women are experiencing, perhaps they should consider the possibility that they're attracted to the wrong 20 percent. Also, college is for learning, not meeting a boyfriend. If dating is that much of an issue, maybe they should just buckle down and study more instead of trying to hook up. It's not like anyone is entitled to have a partner anyway. Get over it. And I agree with CheeeeEEEEse; most college-age women make for lousy partners. Unfortunately, they don't seem to improve much once they graduate.
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bumbler
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 7:13 PM
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Eh I've pretty much always felt that if you're dating or only meeting losers the common denominator is you. Surprisingly I see this much more often in my male friends than female.
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WMLizzie07
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 7:13 PM
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The college that I went to was pretty skewed- 60% female, 40% male, with an exceptionally large gay population. So of the 30% or so left of straight men about half were taken. What was an interesting phenomenon there was that there were as few players as there were. There is something to be said about going to a school where most of the men (and women) lack social skills. I think if they had better ones they would have figured out that they had the advantage and exploited it but most of the single guys were just so excited that a girl would actually talk to them that they ended up being pretty loyal. Actually most of the guys lacked the concept of dating period... you went on one date and you were their girlfriend. But I could see how at a university where the guys had greater social skills this could be exploited. And I agree with AtlantaGirl10- I don't know where they all went after college....
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intuition
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 7:14 PM
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How about the opposite? I went to a school where it was 1:4, girls to guys (it has gotten better recently). The dating pool was huge...yet, the "winners" were still hard to come by. If this taught me anything, it was not to settle.
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kr070707
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 7:14 PM
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I graduated in 2008 from a small liberal arts college. The saying on campus was that all the guys were GGG- gay, gross or got a girlfriend. The vast majority of my female friends (different majors, interests, etc), myself included, never dated a guy from school. There just wasn't anyone to date.
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hlnbabe
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 7:16 PM
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i second bumbler. either you're not a catch yourself or you're awesome and have horrible taste in men. either way, the problem is you.
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Hannah Rosk
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 7:18 PM
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I go to school in Ohio and while I certainly wouldn't say there is a plethora of desirable guys around, it's not terrible. Winter is tough, with everyone hiding from the cold, but once spring rolls around and everyone is outside hanging out, it's easier to meet people. @C.Munro: Sure, college is about learning and preparing yourself for a successful career, but how many 18-22 year olds do you know who spend their Friday and Saturday nights in the library? Some flirtatious fun on the weekends is often what keeps people sane during the week. And, you know what they say about all work and no play...
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AriRae
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 7:35 PM
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I just switched schools, so I'm not super sure about this one. But at my last school there were a lot of guys I'd hang out with but not so many I'd date. This is possibly due to where I was going (Art Institute for Culinary) and you can get some crazy people. Here there are fewer guys in my classes than in HS but I haven't gotten to know the type of guys here yet.
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LadyMacBeth
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 7:40 PM
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If it is that important to find someone while you are at school, then stop thinking you have to go for same guy, different social security number. Expand your criteria a little. Back in the day there were more women than men on my campus, and yeah, the guys in the English department had it made. But in the Engineering building on the other side of campus it was a completely different story - a building full of smart guys who were frequently overlooked. Same for some of the lesser known rec clubs. Half of the college weddings I've been to were the ones generated from my fencing team.
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dizzy
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 7:54 PM
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Shoot for the grad students, ladies.
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SkiAmy
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:24 PM
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These percentages aren't exactly news to me... I graduated from FSU a few years ago and since it began as a women's college it has always had more girls than guys. My freshman year there was a 6:1 girl to guy ratio. A relatively decent looking man didn't have to do anything and he would have multiple girls throwing themselves at him on a regular basis. You would see a beautiful girl with a really regular guy and no one would think twice about it. It was one of the main reasons I had a long distance relationship in college... there weren't any options in that small college town.
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Alli1984
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:48 PM
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@C.Munro I'm with you on this. Oh, the horror of not having a boyfriend or random guys taking up your time that could be better utilized to raise your GPA.If your life isn't complete because your dating prospects are slim, perhaps you should transfer to a Bridal College where the unofficial school motto is "Ring by Spring"....
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hlnbabe
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:50 PM
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@Alli1984: hahaha. i hear you can get your m.r.s. degree from there.
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MelanieRamona
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:54 PM
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There are way more women on my campus then men. I have never dated anyone from my school. I dated a guy who lived in the area for two years and I'm finishing up in a long distance relationship... At a small school, and especially when the pickings are slim, I knew right away that I wouldn't date anyone from my school... Less drama too. Now I have zero awkward losing friends over an ex crap going on. It's great.
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HappyDude
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:55 PM
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I graduated in 2001 from a small liberal arts college that was between 60-65% women. Liberal arts colleges have been going through the same "crisis" but arguably doing ok.College men in general tend to be looking to get laid and avoiding serious attachment. One might argue that if they have more options available they're going to be less likely to settle down. This is supported by science that shows marriage rates are lower in cities and countries where available women outnumber available men.At the same time, this may only select out the "bad" relationships. Personally I think a guy who is mostly in a relationship due to a lack of other options is far more likely to cheat down the line than a guy who is with a lady because he genuinely wants to be.Of course, it's a logical fallacy to assume that college women can only date college men. Post-graduation, between the ages of 23 and 26 I went on dates with at least 6 different women who were still in college, several of which led to at least dating for a few months. Freshman girls might be impressed by junior and senior boys, but a lot of 21 and 22 year old college women are more interested in "grown up" men.Small towns and "college towns" are different than colleges in major metro areas. Places like UC Davis don't really have a lot of eligible off-campus guys.To a woman at a college with a lack of available dudes, I would say "go to where the guys are". Co-ed intramural teams always need women players. More bookish girls might find someone interesting through various science fiction, Society of Creative Anachronism or gaming clubs. And yes, as dizzy pointed out, at major universities grad students are always an option.
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Kati-Anne
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 10:01 PM
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Not only does my university have way more girls than guys, I am in a program of 70 people, 6 of whom are male (two of them, of course, are gay), and I chose women's studies as my elective. So I kind of dug my own grave. The guys at my uni are a bunch of bros mostly, which really is not my thing, and the city in which my school is located has a conservative/small town mentality... which really isn't me. So I've got the odds stacked against me when it comes to finding a man, but I've pretty much resigned myself to being single for the rest of my undergrad.I occasionally get a pang of loneliness and wish I was in a relationship, but when it comes down to it, with my course load (and inconvenient location of my campus) I just don't have time to "put myself out there" and go looking for men. I doubt I would have a problem hooking up with guys... but I really don't get any fulfillment out of that.And I don't think there's anything wrong with looking for/wanting to be in a relationship during your time in university. When it comes down to it, you do have your schooling as a major commitment, but you don't necessarily need to neglect every other aspect of life, and some people just want companionship, which is something a lot of people yearn for. Wanting an education and wanting a boyfriend are not mutually exclusive.
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C.Munro
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 10:14 PM
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[quote]And I dont think theres anything wrong with looking for/wanting to be in a relationship during your time in university. [/quote]There's nothing wrong with it, no. But not having a partner isn't that big of a deal, especially not while in university, when you have so many other things to concentrate on and other ways to have fun. It also bothers me that women these days seem to think they're entitled to have a mate. Life doesn't owe anyone a partner.
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AnitaBath
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 10:16 PM
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My best friend goes to an engineering school where the girl-to-guy ratio is about 1:4. Definitely not true there (and you NEVER to have pay for drinks at parties!)
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