What Your Facebook Status Says About You

The other day, when my 57-year-old mother asked if I could show her how to set up a Facebook profile, I realized just how pervasive the site has become. Unlike most of its competitors and predecessors, Facebook attracts users from a wide range of ages, backgrounds, and walks of life. As likely as you are to find a long lost roommate on the site, you’re just as liable to run into former flames, old co-workers, current employers, people you never thought you’d hear from again and those you wish you wouldn’t. So do you ever wonder what your Facebook status says about you to all these people — the single line or two that basically expresses who you are today, how you live, what’s important in your life? After the jump, 10 fairly innocuous status updates and how various Facebook friends may interpret them.

Status: “Jane is wishing this day were over already!”
Former flame: “She’s totally miserable without me.”

Status: “Jane is drinking coffee with Bailey’s.”
Employer: “On the clock?”
Ex-employer: “That’s why we fired her.”

Status: “Jane is going on a cleaning spree before company comes over!”
Last roommate: “Since when does she clean?”

Status: “Jane just watched 4 hours of ‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta.’”
Everyone else: “Loser.”
Former flame: “She’s totally miserable without me.”

Status: “Jane can’t wait for her Paris vacation!”
Employer: “We pay her way too much.”
Frenemies from high school: “That stuck up bitch.”
Cat: “Great, who’s she gonna leave me with this time?”

Status: “Jane is dressing up like Sarah Palin for Halloween.”
Frenemies from high school: “That’s original.”
Best friend: “Crap, that’s what I’m dressing as!”
Secret crush: “Who’s Jane?”

Status: “Jane is coming down with something.”
Employer: “Are you sure it’s not just a hangover from all that Bailey’s?”
Status: “Jane is going to eat grilled cheese for lunch.”
Cousin Larry: “Who cares?”
Co-workers: “Who cares?”
Aunt Trish: “Who cares?”
Employer: “Who cares?”
Frenemies: “Who cares?”
College roommates: “Who cares?”
Former flame: “She’s totally miserable without me.”