What Turns Women On? Women Confess Their Secret Sexual Fantasies
Posted by: Catherine Strawn
Filed in:
sex
5:00PM, Tuesday January 27th 2009
In last weekend’s New York Times Magazine, “What Do Women Want?” took a deep look into what really arouses women. A study by professor Meredith Chivers at Queen’s University in Ontario monitored men’s and women’s levels of sexual arousal while they watched various video clips: heterosexual sex, homosexual sex, a man masturbating, a woman masturbating, a chiseled man walking naked on a beach, a well-toned woman doing calisthenics in the nude, and monkeys having sex. Among the findings? Women are much more turned on by gay sex and monkey sex than they admit. What else turns women on that they don’t confess to anyone? We asked nine women to tell us their secret sexual fantasies.
“Once, my now ex-boyfriend asked me to pretend I was a robot. I was totally into it.” —Eleanor
“I love a man with scars, especially from acne. I can’t explain the attraction. Sometimes I have to ask myself: ‘Am I into this guy or am I just hot for his acne scars?’” —Simcha
“The idea of having anal sex totally grosses me out, and, frankly, the one time I tried it, I hated it. But for some reason, anal porn is totally hot. Maybe it’s so taboo for me in real life, that watching it satiates any interest.” —Tara
“What turns me on even though it shouldn’t is flirting with someone who’s not my boyfriend. The whole concept of getting attention makes me feel sexy.” —Veronique
“Guys that wear jewelry is a new turn on for me, but I hate admitting that because I always HATED when guys wore jewelry. I thought it was cheesy. It was right up there with overly gelled hair and tips.” —Andrea
“I think I have some kind of Clark Kent obsession, because lately I cannot get enough of men in glasses. There is something very sexy about taking them off when you’re hooking up. Like you’re making them vulnerable because they can’t really see without them.” —Laura
“I am a complete and total filthy dirty talker. Words I would never use in real life totally make me hot during sex. I blush just thinking about it. —Kendall
“Recently I discovered spanking and it is the best thing ever. Seriously, maybe it’s the fact that the dude I’m doing appreciates my body so much, but having my butt slapped is such an intimate turn on.” —Aimee
“I’m into gay porn. Unfortunately, in the sack, most of the dudes I date aren’t into watching it, so it’s my guilty private pleasure. Gay for pay is my favorite genre. The way guys go at it naked is like a wrestling match, but tender. It puts on display a side of themselves they only feel comfortable showing another man. With women, men try to pick one and hide this duality—the rough combined with a sensitive. But it really comes out and it is so natural for them when their together with another man. —Jax
Tell us your secret turn-ons in the comments…
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MrsAbraxas
wrote on January 27 2009 @ 05:07 pm: [report]
Not to drown myself with LOLZ here, but I did kinda totally predict your reaction to this: http://newlybed.blogspot.com/2009/01/raunchy-research-review-special-edition.html
CuteCora
wrote on January 27 2009 @ 06:43 pm: [report]
WOW~
CuteCora
wrote on January 27 2009 @ 06:45 pm: [report]
Well I do think people are turned on by many different things but as people we inhibet (spelled wrong) ourselves, because of society, or being afraid to share our sexual needs, desire,wants etc.. Sometimes we dont even know our true sexual selves until we meet someone that can bring it out in us!
Isabela Laval
wrote on January 27 2009 @ 07:32 pm: [report]
Hmm….
1. Spanking.
2. Tugging at my long hair. Especially when he wraps it around his hand once, then pulls while he’s behind me.
3. Biting.
4. Rampage sex, where you find mysterious bruises the next day.
5. Gay porn.
6. Dares.
7. Licking the taint.
Linz
wrote on January 27 2009 @ 09:03 pm: [report]
I LOVE dirty talk. It is so filthy, but so hot. I also love scratching my guy. And male gay porn.
sneakachu
wrote on January 27 2009 @ 10:43 pm: [report]
I totally agree with the woman who watches porn involving anal play because it’s something she wouldn’t want to do in real life. I don’t think I could ever be sexually involved with another woman, yet I get turned on by girl-on-girl porn. I also get turned on when things get a little rough (biting, scratching, hair pulling) but I think that most women are a bit less reluctant to admit that one!
Tamara
wrote on January 28 2009 @ 12:59 am: [report]
For me I’d say gay porn, dirty talk, seeing my partner with someone else (guy or girl doesn’t matter), a one night stand (never had one), rough sex (hair pulling, biting, spanking etc) and doing something sexual or having sex with others around and oblivious.
@ Cora, it’s true that we don’ know what we’re capable or comfortable with until we meet that one person. I wasn’t comfortable with my sexuality, but my boyfriend and I have great chemistry and there’s nothing I’m uncomfortable expressing. We’re pretty uninhibited and I love it.
G Hottie
wrote on January 28 2009 @ 06:13 am: [report]
I think this article mainly showed, how little the scientific community really knows about female sexuality. I think it kinda sucks how our bodies are not really our own. Every month whether I like it or not my body is going to gain 2-3lbs in water weight and shed it’s uterine lining and now apparently they are saying that when I watch monkeys going at it my body is going to get turned on whether I like it or not. On the flip side, this can be good because a woman’s sexuality is much more fluid than a man’s is. We’ve evolved to be open to just about any sexual situation and I’ve really found that true in my life. I’m open to pretty much anything as long as it does no lasting harm to me or my partner.
Blueclover56
wrote on January 28 2009 @ 07:36 am: [report]
Gay porn, girl on girl, or three-ways involving two girls. I know plenty of hetero females who are into this and are ashamed to say it which is just wrong.
Dirty talk totally takes me over the edge during sex. Things that are so vulgar yet complimentary are a very sexy mix.
Humble Bee
wrote on January 29 2009 @ 12:31 pm: [report]
I would NEVER say any of the things I say when I’m having sex. I am a vulgar dirty talker. haha. EXCEPT my current bf makes me feel like an idiot if I say anything remotely dirty. He gives this look like ” what did you just say?!?” So i just make up some stupid phrase like “i asked if you wanted dinner”.
I enjoy watching porn also, and the hair pulling is fun. ANOTHER one my bf was clueless about. I asked him once to pull my hair, and he said “why would I do that, thats so mean” ugh. I wanted to walk out.
I also like using food, like whipped cream, strawberries, cherries, all that sexy stuff. OH and like dress up! thats so much fun, all that role playing. Too bad my bf is a prude in bed. He sticks to missionary and doggie. Booooring.
jesscdoo
wrote on January 29 2009 @ 11:57 pm: [report]
I, too, have recently discovered that I enjoy being spanked; I was also very pleasantly surprised to find I’m not the only woman who likes porn BUT I have to say I’m pretty picky; I found a few great websites with what I would call “haute porn”, mostly stills. I would love to find more movies/shorts that are better than the old formulaic porn, although I do enjoy that sometimes. One of my favorite fantasies is being a #&@$%-toy for several men at the same time. I love to see women and some of them I’d love to just touch, they’re so beautiful. I also like anal sex but not all the time and only when I’m really randy, you know? Also, anonymous spontaneous sex—literally no names, just seeing each other and going at it (fantasy again—not safe at all!). I’d like to arrange that with my husband somehow.
NJz_WonderWoman
wrote on February 1 2009 @ 12:21 am: [report]
My turn-ons are:
1) Turning a man on.
2) Slim, yet cut & toned bodies… I love tight abs and strong backs.
3) A man’s voice: when he’s talking, singing, laughing, moaning..
4) A lil agression when necessary.. I mean, if you want it (and I want it), come get it; express how much you want me, ya know!
5) Men who can dance (or what we call “hiprollin”): I dance, and I go to a lot of parties. So when a guy can challenge me on the dance floor.. oh yes! lol
6) When a man smells really good.
7) Giving and recieving oral sex.
8) When a guy has tattoos (especially neck tats). They’re like targets for where my mouth can go.
9) Having my breasts sucked on.
10) Spanking…
Anything else would depend entirely on my mood; I may love it one day and despise it another. Like, I used to be obsessed with anime porn (hentai) at one time, now I’m not into it like that anymore. So it depends on what I’m craving for that day.
CuteCora
wrote on February 2 2009 @ 10:02 am: [report]
@ Humble Bee.. I am a little confused..Seems like you & the BF are not at all sexually compatiable… Sex is not everything in a relationship.. but without it can create problems in the long run. If I am not mistaken I also read in another article you posted about the lenght of sex as well. I am not judging, just wondering why are you are with him if NOTHING seems to work for you in the bedroom. In the long term effects you may end up resenting him, pushing him away, cheating or any # of things! You are only hurting yourself and him (even tho he may not no yet). I get the whole you love him.. but sometimes love may not conquer all as we have been taught… or has that lesson not been learned by some? You may love & care for him deeply but he sure as HELL wont feel that way if the truth is ever discovered ,,then thats almost saying the whole entire relationship was built on “Lies” how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot??
JxnChosen
wrote on February 3 2009 @ 06:38 pm: [report]
1. Gay (male and female) sex
2. 3-somes
3. DP’s
4. Rough
5. The romantic stuff
I like to see all kinds of things. But to tell that I like those things will give guys/girls the wrong idea of me in my opinion.
pornqueen
wrote on May 14 2009 @ 11:37 am: [report]
#1. Anal sex
#2 Watching him jerk off
#3 Having him watch me
And then hair pulling, biting, rough sex.
GreenAura
wrote on May 14 2009 @ 11:48 am: [report]
I’ll try anything twice!
Elleohelle
wrote on June 11 2009 @ 02:38 am: [report]
Same-sex anything. Everything’s somehow just more yummy when it’s gay or lesbian, something tender or cute about it.
My random turn on? Suits. I HATE business men, but a suave man in a tailored suit, glasses, and slick hair… something about tainting them, finding something naughty underneath is just perfect!
Alyx
wrote on August 3 2009 @ 02:07 am: [report]
I like being bit: the hornier I am, the harder. I also like being spanked: the stinging after pain is what gets me. Scratching, both to me and from me to him. I like being taken advantage of. Such as, him forcing me to do things and say things: like if I want him to finger me, he makes me say it. Maybe it’s just me. I doubt it though. ;]
remembercedricdiggory
wrote on September 19 2009 @ 09:05 pm: [report]
The only turn-ons I have that I don’t really like to admit are rape fantasies, incest porn, and beastiality porn. In fact, the first two are the only things I can fantasize about during masturbation that allow me to orgasm. But this is not true during sexual activity with another person.
I really don’t understand any of it, and would love to learn about it. Hmm.