What Brings You To The Big O?

BedRocka
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 10:11 am: [report]

hmmm if you don’t know how to get there or at least know how to direct someone to the location how do expect your partner to get you there with out a road map. Does self exploration help ... I bet majority are able to get off when they take matters in they own hands so may be you give your guy the road map ... and all parties are happy. Most guys have the hammer mentality .. I keep pounding away at some point an O is going to emerge from that gyna!

titsmagee
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 10:14 am: [report]

Girl #2: I kind of think you might have a vaginal orgasm if you don’t fake it all the time. If a guy thinks what he’s doing is right, why try something different? But if you are honest about it and make him try harder, maybe he’ll actually make you come.

As for me, I am kind of like Girl #1 with the fingerbanging (it definitely helps if the other hand is on my breasts) but I also get off almost every time we have sex…probably mostly because he’s pretty big.

tigerstripe
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 10:25 am: [report]

I’ve never had an O from sex or from anything besides my own hand and a clit vibrator.  My current boyfriend stresses out about it, but that makes me stressed too, and even less likely to finish.  I kinda wish I could orgasm from sex, but I feel like if I worry about it then being stressed will ruin the whole experience of sexytime, so I try to let it go.

esmee
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 10:33 am: [report]

I have to fantasize during oral. Then it works and is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more intense than when I do it myself.

But I do have to be super comfy in the relationship. When my bf and I first got together it was only maybe 3 out of 5 times that I could come. Now, 3 months in, its like definitely happening every time he goes down on me.

However, I didn’t learn what would get me off with a guy until I was 26. Now I’m just waiting for a vaginal orgasm, if it can happen for me at all it will be with this guy.

lilrockgoddess4u
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 10:38 am: [report]

I get off on oral and like girl#1 if they do the running man thing with their fingers. The combo of the two will set me off like a rocket in under five.  Sadly never had one from sex.

midwestcutie
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 10:46 am: [report]

I’ve been with the same guy for 3 years now, who is also my first. I knew I would never get off on sex alone, so I took matters into my hands, literally. While having sex, I also manually stimulate my clit so that I can control when I come, which is always with him. I get off when I touch myself alone, so I figured I would get off while touching myself with him. It worked wonders.

When I found out that my friends didn’t have simultaneous orgasms with their guys every time they came, I was surprised. That’s all we ever have! I guess I’m lucky.

Suse
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 10:49 am: [report]

Wow! I’m sorry ladies…I just have to comment…For the past 12 years, I’ve had an orgasm every time I’ve had sex. It takes longer and I give a lot more direction during oral or by hand, and these are way less intense (I think it’s because it’s only clitoral stimulation)than the ones I experience during sex. I’ve had them in every position and if we’re going for an all-nighter, I’ve had multiples.
And no, I haven’t been with the same person for those years—so we’re talking different techniques and sizes. At first it happened only during missionary and while I was on top, so I thought it was connected to hip position, but now I’m not so sure.
What I do know is that while I think this is fantastic, I love not having to work too hard to get to a BIG O, I find that it sorta creeps guys out…The guys I’ve dated see it as atypical, and while they appreciate that I love sex (who wouldn’t in my situation?) they seem to want to have to work harder to get me to a Big O. When they don’t have to work harder, it’s almost like they’re disappointed or something.

MuchoMacho
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 10:49 am: [report]

the longer we spend on foreplay, the easier it is to get her off (wierd).  usually with oral she wants a finger inside her, rubbing the g-spot, but not always.  my key is finding a pace and stroke with my tongue shes into and maintaining it.  she usually only gets off in missionary with a ton of clit on pelvic bone action.  sometimes shell get off on top, again, a lot of pelvic bone rubbing.  rarely i can reach around during doggy and get her off, but i like it when she rubs or uses her vibrator during doggy.  as long as im totally anonymous on this site, once in awhile she likes a finger in her ass.  but is hard for me to judge the right times, b/c sometimes it shuts her right down.  usually a finger ON the ass is good for her, while one IN it is for more rare occaisons.

as for me, i have to find a good long rythm during intercourse.  i can get off in many positions, but usually only when im in control of stroke and pace.  if shes on top ill let her get off, but when its my turn i grab her ass and “do the work” with my arms.  oral - only girl ever able to get me off with head is the current gf (again, wierd).  gripping the base and using hand and mouth in longer strokes is the key for me.  2 other girls could deep throat and prolly could have gotten me there if we didnt want to finish with sex.

majicksand
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 10:54 am: [report]

I have to have clitoral stimulation.  Whether it’s fingers, vibe or mouth, something has to be working the button.  Stimulating my nipples and/or g-spot simultaneously just makes my orgasms more explosive.

spatula
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 10:57 am: [report]

Amelia (and the rest of you non-comers) I am so, so sad for you.

I’ve only gotten off from just oral a few times, though if there is finger penetration involved as well, I’m a sure thing. But it seems (to me) that I reach orgasm pretty easily through intercourse. And since I don’t (usually) sleep with people i"m not totally comforatable with, at this point in my sexual life, if I dont have one, someones not doing something right. It’s usually easier/quicker for me to get off when I’m on top and can control the angle, but I’ll get there eventually in any position.

annnnnd guess what I’ll be thinking about for the rest of my work day…

bellarose
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 11:02 am: [report]

Maybe I’m the odd one out, but I have orgasms at least 80% of the time. I know what I like. The only time I don’t have one is if I am really tired, really drunk, or the guy really has no idea what I want, but I’m usually not afraid to ask for what I want. Sex should be enjoyable for both people. I do what he wants, why can’t he do what I want too? lol

MuchoMacho
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 11:07 am: [report]

from a movie - sex is like eating chinese food…  it aint over till you both got your cookies.

Typewriter
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 11:11 am: [report]

I’ve never been able to come like I do with my current boyfriend. He is even better with his hands than I am. Then if we switch up positions a lot and I end up on top, I can come two, three, even four times. We’ve gotten really good at timing it so that we come together more often than not.

niftynymph
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 11:16 am: [report]

Oh my god—I totally needed this article.  Here I thought something was broken down there because a guy has never been able to get me off—no matter how hard they tried.  I can, however, always trust my vibrator.

*I wanna be the girl that can get the big O with a boob job.

SCRMOM
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 11:17 am: [report]

Unless I’m completely unfocused, as long as there is appropriate clitoral stimulation, I can have an orgasm.  The only variable is how long it’s going to take - less foreplay is going to take longer, of course, and fingers are usually the quickest method.  Personally, I prefer that there not be stimulation during the actual orgasm.  After the orgasm ends and clitoral stimulation starts up again, I can have another orgasm in about 5-10 seconds easily.  And again.  And again.  And again, etc.

BrokenOpen
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 11:28 am: [report]

My hubby can get me off with his fingers inside of me, but it is a very small orgasm, and usually leaves me needing a bigger finish.  Unfortunately, in order to get the big orgasm, I need a vibrator.  It sucks always having to break out the vibrator in order to come.  No matter how hard we try though, rubbing my clit with his or my own fingers just doesn’t do it for me, and there’s no position I’ve discovered yet that makes me orgasm from intercourse only.

canthelpmyself
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 11:29 am: [report]

generally speaking, of all sexual contact i get off the most on intercourse. a lot of it depends on the partner. i was with the same guy for two years, and i got off on sex about 95% of the time. and id also say that about 75% of the time i had two or more orgasms. i do wish that i got off on oral- maybe i could i just always get nervous and have the guy stop.

SCRMOM
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 11:37 am: [report]

@MuchoMacho:

as for me, i have to find a good long rythm during intercourse.  i can get off in many positions, but usually only when im in control of stroke and pace.  if shes on top ill let her get off, but when its my turn i grab her ass and “do the work” with my arms.  oral - only girl ever able to get me off with head is the current gf (again, wierd).  gripping the base and using hand and mouth in longer strokes is the key for me.

If it wasn’t for the misspelled words, I would have thought you were my husband.

MuchoMacho
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 11:46 am: [report]

ur husband, while an over-achieving speller, is the man, in that case.

Nicaly
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 11:56 am: [report]

for some reason I’m able to orgasm about 90% of the time with my current boyfriend but more often if I’m on top.  only from oral with last boyfriend and even that was rare.

BedRocka
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 12:00 pm: [report]

hmmm Moral of story from the Comments .. ” Know thyself then guide and give directions your mate if you desire e an O!! appropriate and good direction = Earth shaking body twisting O” so ladies know thy self and guide the man ... if your guidance leads to an O which leads to you being even more happier we will willfully oblige on every occasion!!

draymond
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 12:05 pm: [report]

every statistic you might ever want about orgasm:

http://www.clitical.com/orgasms/orgasm-facts.php

I think that the most interesting one was that 92.3 percent of women could reach orgasm if their lover provided up to 21 minutes of skilled foreplay.  Considering how on any given day 7.7 percent of women might just be having a bad day I think that the woman who truly can’t have an orgasm is extrordinarily rare.  Either their lovers aren’t patient enough to go 21 minutes or they aren’t patient enough to wait 21 minutes or they either don’t know or cant explain what ‘skilled stimulation’ is needed for them.

secretsquirrel
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 12:17 pm: [report]

I wrote this in comments on the IM post about men and toys.  I can orgasm with oral, but it takes a while.  With a clit vibe, every time and quickly.  With my fingers, about 1/2 the time.  So I prefer positions where I can use my clit vibe during penetration.

riensept
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 12:45 pm: [report]

I can orgasm really easy with oral.  So usually I like to get that out of the way.  And then get down to business.  I had a vaginal orgasm once or twice and I know because it was soooooo amazing.  But it just takes to much time and effort to try and recreate it.  But that doesn’t mean that the sex isn’t good otherwise.  It’s just sometimes you orgasm and sometimes you don’t.  If I ever heard a man say that, I’d be dumb founded, I think for them it’s more a means to the end.  For me, I like the act of sex the raunchiness, the bodies hitting together, the sounds, the touching the feeling, if I cum during the actual intercourse that’s a big bonus.  If not, I’ll just make myself cum afterwards with my hand, or with some more oral action.

MuchoMacho
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 12:49 pm: [report]

sex feels good, regardless of orgasm.  i go 95% of the time, but sometimes ill get head for awhile and not get off.  it still feels nice.  and i know were gonna finish later, like after a nap, or the next morning.

lalaland
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 12:56 pm: [report]

Apparently I’m the odd one, I’ve never had an orgasm… and yes I’ve tried, as have partners. However I’ve just never managed to get there. I will say though, regardless of that I still really enjoy sex!

MarieMacCee
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 01:27 pm: [report]

For me, I can only climax during intercourse, and only in a couple of specific positions. That being said, I can almost always get off in them and have multiple O’s if I want as long as I’m comfortable with the guy and can relax. I’ve never had an orgasm from oral or from a guy’s hands, and most saddening of all, I cannot seem to get myself off (though I’ve tried). I blame the nuns and their anti-masturbation propaganda. Blindness, indeed.

PetraFury
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 01:36 pm: [report]

I’m also one of the few lucky ones that has an orgasm 100% of the time (unless, of course, the dude is a literal one minute type of guy). I’m not a huge fan of getting it from behind (I like to be able to look at the person’s face) or receiving oral (I start to get antsy and want to get on with the main event). I didn’t realize that the majority of women didn’t get off intercourse alone until my early twenties, when a group of girlfriends and I were all comparing stories.

whatshesays
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 02:00 pm: [report]

Soooo clearly we’re all a bit different. I’m with Amelia. I’ve only climaxed a few times from sex and two of those were when I was pretty drunk. despite the efforts of many men, i have yet to experience the wonders of what they call a vaginal orgasm.

but the vibrator works every time, and @lalaland, i strongly recommend you purchase one =)

MuchoMacho
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 02:07 pm: [report]

drunk orgasms might indicate you have to relax your inhibitions to have one…  alcohol works, but you should look into other techniques.

Queen Frostine
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 02:28 pm: [report]

I can climax from a variety of methods. Clit only, clit+vag, vag only, twice it happened with breasts only, and every so often I can climax just from hot sexy thoughts and a few kegels. Makes my train commute more interesting, and no one is the wiser.

cooldad
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 02:45 pm: [report]

My wife only does during oral.  Sex after oral is way more enjoyable for her.  Almost never comes during sex, but doesn’t seem bothered by it - always says she had a good time even though I feel bad.  I always offer to go down first, but often she doesn’t want to.  My male point of view says orgasm is necessary for a truly fulfilling experience, but it seems many women don’t think so.

Laurel
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 02:59 pm: [report]

For me, the only way to get there is to use my own fingers. So, I can orgasm during sex, but only if I’m touching myself. With oral, I can get myself right to the brink and let my boyfriend finish me off, but I still have to get right up to the point of orgasm.

How’re you ladies who orgasm from oral alone getting there? I’d love to be able to have some hands-free orgasms…

severedstar
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 03:10 pm: [report]

I must be the odd duck here. I come EVERY time, and multiples occur about once or twice during the week (we try and have sex every day). Sometimes I come so much we have to take a break because of how sensitive I become. We are definitely on the same page mentally and emotionally, and physically we are “a good fit”. I never orgasmed with my previous partners, except for one time during oral. I always had to either finish myself off or masturbate at a later time to release the tension. I believe a lot of it has to do with your PC muscle controls, I flex mine all the time and during sex as well (he loves the grip so it’s a win-win!). If I bear down hard enough with a little clit play then I come in about 5 minutes. I tell my friends to squeeze down as hard as they can during sex, what’s the worst that could happen? You squeeze him out which ends up turning him on even more because of how tight you are. Fabulous sex means knowing your own body!!!!

Queen Frostine
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 03:23 pm: [report]

Orally: He usually starts out touching and stroking, adds tongue, then a finger or two. Once he gets them both working together I’ll pop in under a minute. I’ve had to teach him to slow the whole process down.

MuchoMacho
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 03:43 pm: [report]

slowing the process down was one key.  i also had a lightbulb moment when i tried to finger a girl i was going down on and she pointed out that she didnt like that.  i told her i thought all girls were supposed to like it, and she said “all girls like different things.”  eureka.

luke15chick
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 05:17 pm: [report]

last bf, out of 3 years maybe 2 orgasms.  current bf of 3 months orgasm from oral virtually every time, lately been more than one orgasm.  I think the partner has a lot to do with it.

develange
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 06:17 pm: [report]

after reading every comment (highly entertaining), it seems as though orgasm is HIGHLY mental. Mental blocks, anyone?

@ Queen Frostine, you seem to have NO mental blocks when it’s time to get down and dirty!

I’ve found that it takes more work to get there now that I’m older and have all this crazy life sh*t on the brain. Before I actually knew where my clit was, I could get off from a lot of indirect stimulation.

I’ve never gotten off from peen alone. Thankfully, G-spot stimulation + Hitachi gets me there once every ten seconds. Hoorayyyy

ot2b2009
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 06:35 pm: [report]

Wow, I didn’t realize I was so unusual.  I’ve only ever had sex with my current boyfriend and I was always a little skeeved out about touching myself.  Somehow, though, my boyfriend has figured out how to get me there EVERY time.  In fact, I usually get there multiple times in one session (and usually get off lots more than he does in a session).  It’s pretty fantastic, but I’m not sure if it would happen every time…

DancingGeek
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 07:32 pm: [report]

Hah, I must be Abby Normal, I get off 99% of the time and always during intercourse.

GypsyQueen
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 09:59 pm: [report]

I’ve known I’m a lucky, lucky woman for a few months now—I’m taking it slow with my boyfriend, so we haven’t had true intercourse yet, but he’s very, very good at bringing me to orgasm. If he’s trying to bring me, then I come; he pays attention to what works, what doesn’t, and is always willing to try new things. I enjoy having my bones rubbed—hipbones, ribs, ankle bones, elbow—but I come really quickly when he adds clitoral stimulation. He also enjoys fingerbanging; gotta love those long fingers. When he’s fingerbanging me and rubbing my clit simultaneously, I come so hard that I see different colors that coincide with the various orgasmic stages. Then I return the favor by going down on him. ^_^ Only thing is, I’ve never been able to get off by myself, so I’ve gotten kind of addicted to his particular brand of loving. But he doesn’t mind, and I’m ridiculously happy.

Now all I can think about is sexytimes. <_< Thanks, Frisky.

chickbabe
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 10:05 pm: [report]

Soo…

I’m so sad that so many women can cum when they want to. I’m 19, and I’ve had my first sexual relationship now for about 6 months. And I’ve cum every single time. At LEAST once. It’s been an amazing experience with my guy and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

A few details I can say about my situation is that he is older (22) and more experienced. But that’s not the only reason I can cum. I know my own body. I’m only 19 and it seems that I know my body better than most middle aged women. What a shame!

I cum when I use my own fingers, and he sucks/licks my breasts. That’s the most typical way to get me off. Then there’s oral, where if he only uses his mouth, it usually doesn’t happen (in order not to break the mood that’s when I pull him up and get him inme). I at least need fingers in too.

I’ve also found that typically I would rather be on bottom. Aparently most women like being on top and being the ones in control. Me however… he’s just so damn good at anything he does, I would rather him take the reigns. Weird? Though we like to switch it up and it’s always fun trying some new positions.

Hope that gave some of you readers a few ideas.

bumblebee
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 10:46 pm: [report]

@cooldad - My boyfriend also feels that an orgasm is necessary for sex to be enjoyable and feels I don’t enjoy it or want to do it because I can’t orgasm from penetration. It’s definitely not necessary to enjoy the experience, especially when there are other methods that can enjoyed as well!

Asta
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 11:32 pm: [report]

As long as I’m comfortable with the guy, I can come with a vibrator or the right finger stimulation. Oral it depends- I usually can come, but it’s never as hard as when during intercourse. My weird thing- I pretty much have to be lying on my back (yeah I know weird). You would be surprised the different positions that CAN occur with the woman on her back. Its not that I don’t like other positions, but for some reason I can only get there on my back!

@BrokenOpen- It does suck! That was how my last relationship was- kinda like having to take a minute to put on the condom- but at the same time, I don’t mind cause I like being able to come during sex also!

emeryray
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 03:41 am: [report]

“I’ve been at it for thirteen years with nothing to show for it except a long list of dudes who failed to get me off.”

BEST QUOTE EVER.
*Air Internet 5.*

lawyrgrl
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 09:42 am: [report]

After I hit 40 something really changed in my body and I became seriously orgasmic.  Of course, the fact that I hooked back up with a guy who had always made my toes curl may have helped a little too!    However, what never fails to add an extra spark to the big O is a few well-timed dirty whispers.  Purrr….

pragmatryst
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 10:26 am: [report]

What Brings You To The Big O?

Reading bachelorette #4’s personal pleasure prescription just about did it for me.  Damn, girl.  You are like the special edition human orgasm version of Twister.  Left hand to right boob, right hand to left butt cheek, tongue to…BAM!

huggable22
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 11:56 am: [report]

I have always wondered if I am unique and from the response, it seems I am. I found a couple others down the list who seem to have orgasms during sex, but not many. I have orgasms every time, every position and am multi-orgasmic. I can cum via breast stimulation, oral, dry-humping, etc etc. I definitely have different orgasms depending on the technique, size and style of the guy, and the time of the month. I have found the most helpful thing is to do kegel exercises. I use my muscles to squeeze my partners penis and it gets me every time. Sometimes whe I don’t want to cum (just to draw the experience out..), and I squeeze by accident, I’m off to orgasm land. I highly recommend masturbating and kegels. They have worked for me.

onewriter
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 12:11 pm: [report]

Coming in front of him on purpose would be too embarrassing.  I envy the ones (unless they’re lying) who can come with practically no effort.

Gloom
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 12:31 pm: [report]

I can climax from oral, clit, oral + fingerbanging, fingerbanging + clit, penetration + clit, but not from penetration alone. It’s always been a bummer for me, but I’ve heard a lot of women have trouble reaching orgasm with penetration only.

Queen Frostine
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 12:39 pm: [report]

For me, it’s all mental. You have to be 100% relaxed, be at complete ease, be comfortable with your body from head to toe and check all mental baggage at the door. During sex I just let go of everything completely. I’ve never had a problem orgasming, alone or with a partner.

AlisonNoelle
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 01:44 pm: [report]

Oral will get me every time. Once I come from that it makes it easier for the 2nd one and sometimes 3rd during intercourse. I’m pretty lucky.

majicksand
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 02:00 pm: [report]

@onewriter:  I don’t understand.  You’re embarassed to orgasm in front of your SO?  It’s natural, normal, and it will make his day as well as yours.  I promise.  In my experience, the louder you get, the better they like it.  Think about how you feel when he gets off.  Doesn’t it make you happy to see him so excited?  Especially if you had a hand (mouth/vag) in it?  Think of your pleasure as a gift to him if it helps.

onewriter
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 02:32 pm: [report]

will think about it.  thanks.

HeadedOut
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 04:24 pm: [report]

I’m like Asta, hasta be with me on my back—and does anyone else have something like this: I have to have my legs straight and tense.
Not so cool for partner sex, but I’m about 100% when I want them so I guess it is what it is.

Oh, but almost never wtih oral sex.  I can’t relax, can’t just lay back and receive.  I feel like I ought to be faster or better or whatever.  Maybe it’s low self-esteem? 

And prozac makes them almost IMPOSSIBLE.

MuchoMacho
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 04:43 pm: [report]

@headed - my girl used to only have them during sex with locked legs too.  now in other positions, but for awhile that was her too.

MarieMacCee
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 04:44 pm: [report]

@ gypsyqueen
“I come so hard that I see different colors that coincide with the various orgasmic stages.”

JEALOUS

titsmagee
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 05:57 pm: [report]

Kegals are a must for the super mind-blowing orgasms. I do the exercises a LOT. My boyfriend cums almost immediately when I tighten up and he jokes that it’s like I’m hugging his penis.

Kegal exercies: Fun for a girl or a boy. =)

HeadedOut
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 06:10 pm: [report]

Mucho, how did it change?!  It’s been years and years so I don’t have a lot of hope of changin it but i’ll take pointers.  =)

draymond
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 06:44 pm: [report]

Speaking personally, my wife requires extra clittoral stimulation, which I eagerly provide, but occasionally just can’t get exactly in the right mood or level of comfort no matter how well I might be doing things. 

A long time ago we laid down some bedroom rules on this.  If I am going to get an orgasm from her basic fairness requires that I be willing to do whatever it takes for her to to have one too.  She promised never to fake it, and that if she says that it just isn’t going to happen tonight I need to accept it and not try to force things.

onewriter
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 07:19 pm: [report]

I can’t imagine why it wouldn’t happen…if you wanted it to, but…I guess as long as you tried and she let you have yours anyway…

mcosita
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 07:26 pm: [report]

I’m right there with #4!! When I started reading this I thought “there’s probably not going to be a boob girl like me!” Nice to know there’s more of us out there!

Miss Mia
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 07:38 pm: [report]

I’ve been with my bf for almost a year and he’s the only one I’ve ever had sex with. I require A LOT of clitoral stimulation to feel close to orgasming. I’ve never had an orgasm- I was close to having one when he really focused on my clit. I’ve learned that sex can be enjoyable without the ‘big O’ and its better not to fake it- I never have, and I think he appreciates that a lot more. He does feel bad about not being able to ‘have me come’ but no one is at fault.

MuchoMacho
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 09:01 am: [report]

kegels…  *swoon*

Asta
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 11:11 am: [report]

@HeadedOut- Legs straight and tense- helps A LOT but not necessarily “required” it just may take longer! I’m so glad you’re the same- I seriously thought I was kinda a freak cause all my friends say the same that thing that it happens when they are on top.

cooldad
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 12:57 pm: [report]

@bumblebee - good to know. It’s great reading comments like yours to know you & your bf have the similar experience.

lovesacrime126
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 01:57 pm: [report]

I may be one of the only women in the world to say this, but I really don’t enjoy having an orgasm. I like all of the emotional and physical rushes to get up to it, but when I actually have one I generally don’t enjoy it. I don’t tell this to my boyfriend of course, for that wouldn’t be fair. I think it’s hot and such, but idk I guess I’d just prefer if it didn’t happen. They happen very easily during sex and handjobs though =/ It’s a definite win/lose situation.

lilliest
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 03:36 pm: [report]

It’s annoying for nonorgasming women to claim that internal orgasms are a myth (re story #2) because it implies the rest of us are lying or faking it. We’re not; it’s a great orgasm from the g spot. For me it is like the same orgasm as from clit but emanating from a different location. I only recall a few times in my life I haven’t orgasmed when I was penetrated. I also didn’t come via oral until this bf, and still am the only one who can get myself off via clit.

So, it must be that each of our genitalia has its own erotic fingerprint of requirements, turn ons, experiences, preferences, etc.

JenM
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 04:20 pm: [report]

@HeadedOut, @Asta, I also get a boost towards climax from straightening & tensing my legs… @Amelia, thanks for the original post, the comments are further evidence of so many ways to get there.

MuchoMacho
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 04:47 pm: [report]

mine lock up for good ones too…

majicksand
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 05:07 pm: [report]

My whole body locks.  I have to be careful to keep my feet flexed because if I point my toes, I get charlie horses (wow, that’s just weird in the plural) in my legs and feet.  Beyond the ouch factor, it really ruins the mood.

MuchoMacho
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 05:12 pm: [report]

my feet cramp.  my right hamstring cramps.  my left butt cheek cramps.  why do we put ourselves through this?  oh.  right.  coming.

jennaylove
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 06:53 pm: [report]

I have only ever been with one man, and we have been together for two years now. I have anywhere from 1-4 orgasms everytime we have sex. once the first one arrives they just keep coming! Its definitely from clitoral stimulation, I have only ever finished when on bottom, at the right angle. I have come close when on top, but he always beats me.
I have had a G spot Orgasm 1 time! about a year into the relationship. It was WAY intense, but also made me feel like I really had to pee.
I swear my boyfriend is a sex God! He always makes sure I finish, even if he finishes first! And he often gets me off twice in a row before succumbing to his own pleasure!
Or goodness. I love orgasms.

Red_Lady
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 07:19 pm: [report]

It’s easier for me if my legs are tensed, but they don’t have to be straight. 
And I tend to orgasm from oral or fingering.  It’s only happened a couple times during intercourse, and it’s always been when I’m on top.

catmcroy
wrote on November 7 2009 @ 04:15 am: [report]

I pretty much always come and generally once I start it’s just waves upon waves of orgasms. G-spot? check. Vibe on clit? Check. Intercourse? Check (especially if my clit’s getting some loving). Oral? Check check check!

Shosanna
wrote on November 7 2009 @ 12:16 pm: [report]

As to the position, I have to be on top….and he has to be speaking a foreign language.  It’s not regionally specific, just anything that has a good sound to it. My boyfriend currently speaks four different languages, so we are very happy together…

draymond
wrote on November 7 2009 @ 01:53 pm: [report]

For the ladies who require both legs straight and tight here is a technique that you may find successfull for having an orgasm ‘during intercourse’.  It is a slightly diagonal missionary variant with a grinding more than a thrusting motion.  They guy puts one leg between yours and one to the outside, helping support his weight on his opposite side elbow.  This opens up enough of a gap for either of you to slip a hand between to get a finger on your clit.  It also exposes one of her breasts for fondling by whoever isn’t fingering the clit.  Depending on the body geometry the woman can get her other hand on his back and butt while each of them can, depending on body geometry, put kisses and licks (or if kinky, bites) on the other’s shoulder or neck.

Dave The Rave
wrote on November 8 2009 @ 11:05 am: [report]

I always like how us guys can never really “tell” if the woman is faking it.  For us guys, a male orgasm is OBVIOUS, but some guys tell me they can’t tell if their gal actually had one.

There ws an article in a male mag that had signs to look for to prove the woman was having ‘The Big O’.  Don’t know how accurate it was.

Also, some women in this article stated that having an “O” is not really ‘needed’ to have a good sexual experience.  Still, I’m sure it adds to the moment.  Guys need to “erupt”, as well, to feel like it was worth it.

hypotenus
wrote on November 8 2009 @ 10:10 pm: [report]

@lovesacrime126

Just tell him what you want him to do to you to help your problem. But i was with a guy like that who made me orgasm like how you describe and you really dont know what you have until you get with a guy that can barely pull one off.

JustNessa
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 04:57 pm: [report]

I can only have an orgasm when I’m with my man. If I’m using my fingers or vibrate I can’t. But when ever me and my guy hook up it happens every single time.

LTHSgirl
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 08:00 pm: [report]

This news just floors me. I wonder if many MEN would continue to have sex if they were not achieving orgasm?  Why would women would seek out sexual partners when they don’t orgasm?  I’ve been happily married for the past 13 years, and had decent sexual experience in my single days.  I don’t think my husband would want to have sex with me if we both didn’t cum. I’ll be 40 this year, if that’s germane to the discussion. Are their lovers inexperienced, sub-par, indifferent or what?  How could one not possibly bring oneself to orgasm?  Ladies, get thyself to a doctor and see what’s wrong with either of your anterior to posterior regions.  Lordy!

NaomiK
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 08:37 pm: [report]

LOL (in the nicest way) @chickbabe for a 22 year old being “experienced”. God I’m old. 22 year old guys are hot, though.

alltherest
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 09:55 pm: [report]

It’s interesting how different but yet so alike everyone is about sex.  It’s amazing how you get to know someone and you end up having them at the same moment, or not.  Being a man, their are time I’ve entered the bedroom for the sex, and you know, tonight it’s all about her.  Being a guy, and wanting to experience mind blowers myself, giving them opens the doorway to figuring how to get one yourself, and as many commentors have said, it’s not everyday you get one.

AlmostGone
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 09:56 pm: [report]

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and tell you my age….well let’s just put it this way: I’m a middle-aged Nana who still has, thankfully, a very strong sex drive! I love sex.  My bf and I must be going through a second youth or maybe it’s because we don’t have kids around anymore!  As far as the big O….“O” baby!! I’ve never NOT had an O during sex, however, it’s usually by manual or oral stimulation.  Fingerbanging, playing with my clit, my breasts, my Gspot, foreplay, those all play a role in getting me there.  He takes his time. We have fun in bed. We play.  Plus I’m at an age where I do feel comfortable telling a man what I like and what I don’t like; where to touch.  When I was younger, I would have never dreamed of saying half of the things I say now! I’ve come a long way, Baby! Yay me!

chickbabe
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 10:20 pm: [report]

@ NaomiK,

well compared to me, he’s experienced. I mean, he’s had about 7 girlfriends before whereas I’ve had 1 technical boyfriend, and a couple flings. The idea is that he’s so damn good at whatever he does. Can’t wait to see how good he’ll be years down the road,

whatshesays
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 12:17 am: [report]

Well, she did specify “more” experienced than her. =)

ooh, here’s a question. My friends have actually told me to try having sex when I’m high. (and I’ve never tried smoking weed, although I’ve promised about 999999 people that they’ll be the first to know when I do, etc etc). I jokingly accused her of using that as leverage to convince me to smoke, but I have heard that it makes for amazing orgasms for some people- although an awful time for others.

** note: this isn’t really going to convince me smoke because I will when I choose to, I’m just curious.

MuchoMacho
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 09:37 am: [report]

@NaomiK - i bet i know some people with more experience at 22 than a lot of 35 yr olds…

NaomiK
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 10:07 am: [report]

So you’re saying you’re 22, MuchoMacho?

MuchoMacho
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 10:17 am: [report]

im a 100% wise 27!

facetious…

severedstar
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 12:23 pm: [report]

whatshesays: Yes, pot does make for a more intense experience, at least that’s how it is for my guy and I. We load a bowl and then get busy inbetween the sheets, your sense of touch is amplified and both of us have amazing orgasms, but that happens regardless of whether we’re high or not The only difference I notice is sensitivity, after I come we have to take a break for a few minutes because I am wayyy too sensitive and “electrified” to continue, but during that time you can kiss, stroke, etc, the fun doesn’t have to stop. You have to know your partner’s body plus your own, and I believe that using your PC (kegel) muscles are key. I stated in my first post that flexing them as much as you can (during sex, while you’re at the office, LOL - no one knows you’re doing them so why not?) makes for leg-numbing, head-spinning orgasms, hell yeah!

stiffinp
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 08:07 pm: [report]

The one thing I have heard is that women must be in the mood for it. That also means relaxed with no stress. And lot of foreplay never hurts from my perspective.

cataclysmicdiva
wrote on November 16 2009 @ 12:13 pm: [report]

I never had an orgasm during sex until my current bf. I never even knew I had a g-spot til he found it when we first started dating, lol. I was aaaaamazed!! However, sometimes it seems like we have a hard time finding it again..

I have to say, that while I enjoy good oral, I prefer manual stimulation directly on my clit. Just him touching me usually does an awesome job of warming me up for the big act..but I can’t come just from sex either..clitoral stimulation has to be in play..then once I come, I stop stimulating, then he knows I’m done, so he finishes, and we’re both happy

MoodyhotDecember
wrote on November 16 2009 @ 01:02 pm: [report]

I can only orgasm if i’m on my back and the guy has to go deep. I also used to orgasm off my ex-husbands oral, that bastid!

meredith806
wrote on November 16 2009 @ 01:19 pm: [report]

I can only get off from penetration, anything involving my clit just does not work with me lol.  When I first started fooling around with the current boyfriend, he tried to mess around down there and was so very confused by my reaction haha.  I just really don’t like it.  And oral? god, no.  I can’t stand it.  But that said its pretty damn easy for me to get off from penetration, once he gets the right angle, I completely lose it.  Ah g-spot how I adore you.

cataclysmicdiva
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 08:54 am: [report]

@ meredith…i’m jealous. i wish i could come just from sex and nothing else! i can barely come even with clit stimulation!! it’s a total chore for me…unless i’m alone..hehehe..then it’s all up to me & my dirty mind..usually 5-20 minutes & i’m good…or 45 minutes if i feel like “procrasturbating” (a term i believe found in the ‘mind of man section that refers to prolonging masturbation just for the helluv it)