What Are Your Biggest First Date Pet Peeves?
Posted by: Wendy Atterberry
Filed in:
relationships
10:00AM, Monday March 16th 2009
An internet market research company surveyed 3,000 people recently and asked them what they consider the 10 biggest first date faux pas. The answers were a bit surprising, but before you take a peek at them after the jump, think about what you consider first date faux pas. Someone who monopolizes the conversation? Won’t quit talking about past relationships? Makes racist, sexist remarks? Wants to debate every point you make? Wears cheap, overpowering cologne? Tries to maul you when he says good-night? Yeah, none of those made the list. See what did after the jump.
1. Clicking fingers at the waiter
2. Adding salt to the meal before tasting it
3. Getting drunk
4. Licking the plate clean
5. Burping
6. Picking teeth with fingers
7. Licking the knife
8. Slurping soup
9. Talking about sex or bodily functions
10. Not leaving a tip
Okay, most of these are definite turn-offs, for sure, but come on! Maybe the reason so many people are unhappily single is because they reject someone as soon as he adds salt to his meal before tasting it. And if getting drunk is a first date crime, lock me up and throw away the key! How else am I supposed to get through 3 hours of small talk? See, in my book, being boring or self-obsessed is a far greater offense than having bad table manners. And I’ll take a soup-slurper over a close-talker any day! What do you consider the biggest first date faux pas? [Telegraph U.K.]
TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
justme
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 10:12 am: [report]
My pet peeve is a man that tries to convince me how fat his wallet is before I’ve even figured out what I want for dessert.
Blenderzz
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 10:16 am: [report]
Guy checks his iPhone or Blackberry constantly for text messages or emails throughout the entire date.
Humble Bee
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 10:24 am: [report]
I know.. those were kind of silly, maybe these we’re faux pas for that 10 year old dating kid, because as far as I’m concerned most adults I’ve dated have table manners atleast.
I hate when they have nothing to say, I can’t stand it when we’re just sitting there nodding our heads like, soo, umm, yep…. say something dammit!
doridori
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 10:33 am: [report]
1) Talking/crying about the most recent breakup or bad mouthing previous girlfriends.
2)Randomly bringing up current/past medical issues; this includes but is not limited to conversations about his current bout of hemroids and or lack of a testical.
SociallyAlexander
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 10:39 am: [report]
How could they leave “Chewing with your mouth open” off the list? That is the number one date breaker for me. It’s so gross, your food looks lovely on the plate but I really don’t need to see what it looks like once it’s been masticated.
I had to leave a guy at a resturant because I couldn’t take it anymore. In my head I figured it would be better than having to act like his mommy and mind him of his manners.
Naneenya
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 10:46 am: [report]
Saying “I love you”
You’d think that would be a no-brainer in the “10 things to never say/do on a first date” list… From personal experience, it’s not common knowledge.
Oh, and “I want to hold you forever” should be on there too.
Yeah, and crying.
Sadly, all three of these things happened to me on a recent first date. We’ll file him under “First, AND LAST, date”!!
mayfaire
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 11:02 am: [report]
Biggest first date faux pas (for me): asking for ‘professional advice’ on a personal problem… as a psychologist, I now have enough tragic incidences of this to write a book! If you need my opinion on something that bad, please just make an appointment…
retro chic
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 11:39 am: [report]
@justme: I’m crackin’ up here, ‘cause those are the very same guys that are the first to cry “GOLDDIGGER!” when things go south.
Pamela
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 01:10 pm: [report]
you just made me feel good about getting drunk in the first date lol “And if getting drunk is a first date crime, lock me up and throw away the key! ” btw, im sure they enjoyed it hahah they get to hold my waist and thats as far as they go if the date was regular =P
misspixie
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 01:22 pm: [report]
Cheesy one-liners put me off straight away. Anything with remotely stilton-esque overtones turns me off quicker than a gas stove in a power cut.
Lynn
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 01:25 pm: [report]
How about begging me for sex?
Total turn-off. Hey man, I don’t blame you for wanting to bang me. It’s only a natural reaction to my sparkling personality and my smoking hot bod
but if I’ve politely turned you down once, you should get the hint and BACK OFF, tail between your legs. I had a first date once where I was having a perfectly nice time and would have gone out with him again, except that at the end of the night he would not let up about the fact that I wasn’t going to go home with him. Ugh.
And what doridori said - I had both of those in one guy. Winner!!
eden
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 02:10 pm: [report]
Moaning about people putting salt on their food ain’t getting no-one laid :|
spanishdoll
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 02:18 pm: [report]
One of my biggest turn-offs happened on my first date. I was a late-bloomer, and still a tender young’un at the age of 19. The guy, who was 3 years older, snuck me into a bar, proceeded to order me a drink without asking if I wanted one, acted offended when I didn’t want to finish it, and then got in the car to drive after a few drinks.
As someone who was under 21, who had never been to a bar or on a date, these things seemed very piggish to me. Now, I’d be cool with a bar, but still never with someone buying me a vodka red bull without asking me if I liked either beverage, and then expecting me to down it in front of him.
Biggest pet peeve is someone who is super critical and overly serious. Lighten up, have a laugh!
The Nomad
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 04:23 pm: [report]
The generic and/or non-committal guys are what gets me. Have an opinion or something remotely unique to say. One guy I went on a date with responded to ‘what kind of music do you listen to?’ with a simple ‘everything’ and didn’t go beyond that. The same was true for movies, books, etc. When asked I asked what he looks for in a woman, he answered with ‘a woman who doesn’t cheat’. When I tried to dig deeper, all I got was that she need be pretty and smart. Gee, thanks for the useful info…
becktasm
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 06:52 pm: [report]
Taking me to Max & Erma’s.
Gag.
jc
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 07:10 pm: [report]
Peeve: her cell phone rings (it should be OFF; mine is.)
If she then doesn’t turn it off and ANSWERS it, there won’t be a second date. If she then doesn’t give her caller her apologies and switch it off, but proceeds to have a conversation instead, the date’s over.
fallenangel915
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 07:40 pm: [report]
I’m pretty laid-back, but I agree with point #1 in that list up there. Whoever snaps their fingers at the waiter is just plain RUDE. I hate personality-challenged people and those who think they are better than others. No one is too good to be dumped on the first date! Bitchassness will not be tolerated!
fallenangel915
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 07:41 pm: [report]
And not leaving a tip (when you received good service) is also a sign of bitchassness.
Sofjna
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 08:16 pm: [report]
Haha! Bitchassness- I think I’m going to have to start using that one fallenangel.
Alison Wonderland
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 08:47 pm: [report]
Seriously. No bitchassness.
retro chic
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 10:31 pm: [report]
There’s nothing like naturalness and humor (not the jokester) to smooth the way. It’s not the embarrassing deed, it’s the recovery I remember, unless it’s totally heinous.
The no-tipping, finger-snapper is a DB for me down the road (cheap, condescending).
——-
Peeves:
* The Scanner. He does the vertical visual/verbal assessment: “hmm, good, not too much bling” or “is your waist that small without the belt?” or “those shoes look like they set you back a few”...
* The Interrogator. being peppered with leading lawyerly questions one after another, a buzz- and discovery-killer.
Mantis180
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 11:04 pm: [report]
As a first date, never gone out before, only just recently met, it’s a serious deal breaker for me, if he acts possessive already. No putting your arm around me just because you saw some other guy walk by, and no referring to me as your girlfriend.
And if you call me “Little lady” I’m going to break your little finger.
Other than that, I hate rudeness, I don’t mind if you don’t hold the door open for me, but if someone is directly behind us, isn’t it only polite to pause and hold the door for me- and you’ll be lucky if I even follow you if you keep walking rather than wait for me while I’m holding the door for someone else.
No bad mouthing other people, esp. not people you dont even know just because you want to ridicule their clothing or how they look.
I think thats it for my deal breakers.
twinkles
wrote on March 17 2009 @ 04:49 am: [report]
Ooooh I like this… I have quite a few first date peeves!!Not taking any initiative, leaving me to make all the decsisions on where to go, what to do etc. I recently went on a first(bad)date with a guy who was pretty much following me around the entire time, not a turn on. He also didn’t really show any genuine interest in me, I was the one asking all the questions and trying to make conversation… he didn’t really ask any questions about me, or make any kind of effort to get to know what kind of person I was. I got the impression that he just wanted someone to call his girlfriend, didn’t really care who. This is not the impression you want to make! He also tried to secure the second date before the first one was over… given the circumstances it seemed a little desperate and needy to me; I much prefer to be given some space after the first meeting to digest the experience and decide if the person is worth seeing again. Giving out too much personal information that you don’t need to know yet. Asking me if I get turned on by other girls, and any kind of blatantly sexual talk. Not paying attention to body language etc… it’s probably not a good idea to put your hands on someone or try to kiss them when they are not giving you any kind of signal that they want this. Making stereotypical assumptions, that I must love shoe shopping and whatnot. I’m sure that I have more, these are just some of what I’ve experienced so far!!!
One Big Voice
wrote on March 17 2009 @ 11:45 am: [report]
How about when they say: “You remind me of ...” my ex, my dad, my grandfather, “the guy who testified against me in my last murder trial”.
@cyberpixie - had to look up “stilton”, guess it’s been a while since I saw the Python “cheese shop” sketch.
LadyS
wrote on March 19 2009 @ 03:08 pm: [report]
How about treating a company get together as a first date takling nonstop for nearly two hours while liberally sprinkling the monopolized conversation with dirty jokes created just for me? On top of all this, he was my supervisor so I couldn’t tell him to get lost. The icing on the cake was getting fired after I reported him to human resources.
Penthesilea
wrote on March 19 2009 @ 07:49 pm: [report]
I hate when the guy’s eyes glaze over when you talk about your interests, then he changes the subject to the newest gadget he installed in his car, expecting YOU to stay bright-eyed and perkily fascinated. The road runs both ways! A guy should at least pretend to care if he expects a second date.
retro chic
wrote on March 19 2009 @ 09:10 pm: [report]
^ I think the glaze means he’s actually formulating his “I can relate” story in the rainman way that some guys do with gadgets and cars. Sounds par.
mavsqueen2010
wrote on March 22 2009 @ 01:01 am: [report]
@penthesilea..i totally agree. My last date has a blank stare that drives me nuts. I’m pretty sure he’s sleeping while I talk and doesn’t want me to know. But of course, when it’s time to discuss his fascinating life, he gets mad if I yawn. Sorry, I’m not listening, I’m sleeping too!!!
juliePS
wrote on March 24 2009 @ 06:44 am: [report]
getting drunk on a first date? whatever floats your boat, I’m a lightweight so it happens and I can’t judge other people up on it.
SHOWING UP drunk for the first date? dealbreaker.
also: being late (especially without letting me know—text messages take 15 seconds, people), having a crappy handshake, not making eye contact, smelling bad.
I dated a guy for almost three years who told me he loved me on the first date. Lord. in my defense, I was 18 and naive!
haha, the guy I’m dating snapped his fingers at the waiter once as a joke (like, “Wouldn’t it be a jerk move if I did this?”) and then the waiter actually saw him and came over afterward… I wanted to die. I settled for lovingly Gibbs-smacking him (the NCIS fans in this post will know what I mean).
Tim
wrote on March 31 2009 @ 03:22 pm: [report]
@juliePS Gibbs slap! I loved it.