Tripping Out: The Top 10 Dos And Don’ts Of Vacationing Together
Posted by: Wendy Atterberry
Filed in:
relationships
1:00PM, Thursday August 27th 2009
After two and half years together and a few short domestic trips, my now-husband and I put our relationship to the test with a two-week jaunt through China. Sure, hiking the Great Wall, braving squatter toilets, and eating breakfast with chopsticks were all an adventure, but the real challenge of vacationing together was spending every minute together for 15 days straight. If you think your relationship is up to the test, do yourself (and him) a favor by following my hard-learned tips after the jump…
1. Do start off short and sweet
Before you head off on your own two-week foreign trek together, test the waters first with a much shorter trip closer to home. If a weekend getaway upstate together to see the fall colors leaves you questioning what you ever saw in each other, you might want to reconsider that African safari.
2. Don’t forget to pack the necessities
Those fall colors are going to get pretty boring after about two hours, so plan ahead to make those remaining 46 hours the most pleasurable and rewarding portion of the weekend. Pack all the essentials intimacy requires and throw something new into the mix.
3. Do make the travel arrangements together
Whether you’re traveling just a couple hours away or heading out to more far-flung destinations, make sure you’re both taking active roles in the planning process. “Blame” and “credit” make strange bedfellows, so share the load and leave those two buzzkills at home.
4. Do date someone with a driver’s license
My New York City-born-and-bred boyfriend is 38 and doesn’t have a driver’s license, so consider this more a whine than a tip. Traveling with someone who doesn’t drive is a bit of a drag—especially if you’re not crazy about taking the wheel yourself (literally, not metaphorically). So if you’re single and looking, you might want to start checking IDs on dates.
5. Do pack a few Luna bars
Seriously, these things saved us in China. Even if you aren’t traveling to a location where the food is questionable, chances are your schedule will be, and almost nothing kills a good time—or a romantic mood—faster than low blood sugar. If you’d rather be at each other’s lower regions than at each other’s throats, throw a bar in your bag and eat it when hunger strikes.
6. Don’t forget the Pepto
I think we all know that one thing that will ruin a romantic mood faster than low blood sugar. So plan ahead and don’t let it!
7. Do bring stuff to entertain yourself
Believe it or not, if you’re going on a longer trip together, there are going to be moments, maybe even hours, when the last thing you want to do is talk to, make-out with, or even look at your significant other. Have a good book or a pile of magazines to keep you occupied when those times arise. Just make sure to put the book down when that something else arises.
8. Do interact with other people
This is essential on those longer trips, too, for obvious reasons, I hope. Hit the hotel bar and mingle, sign up for a one-day tour, or take an afternoon cruise with other travelers. You don’t have to make friends for life, but the company of others for even just a few hours will save you from couples claustrophobia.
9. Do step in and take initiative
Sooner or later, something’s going to go wrong. A reservation will be lost, taxis won’t pick you up, or you’ll discover the town your guidebook called a “must-see” with “movie set charm” is a virtual cesspool full of human tragedy. When this happens and one of you inevitably melts under the pressure and stress of it all, it’s essential the other takes the initiative in forming a Plan B. It doesn’t have to be the perfect plan—it doesn’t even have to make much sense—but trust me on this: having another option at the moment when it seems the world is crashing in will save not only your vacation, it could very well save your relationship.
10. Don’t spend the whole time updating your Twitter and Facebook pages
Unless you want him to change his profile to “single.”
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Danielle
wrote on September 15 2008 @ 07:37 pm: [report]
My boyfriend of three years and I are heading to Thailand for 2 weeks this October. Thanks for the advice, and wish us luck!
Allyson
wrote on September 16 2008 @ 12:34 pm: [report]
Nine is good advice. My bf and I spent two weeks in Europe in May. We had an awful hotel in Nice and would be awake by 5 am. We were able to catch up on some bad tv and laugh before braving the moldy bathroom. No one wants to go on vacation to watch tv, but it just made things feel better.
Humble Bee
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 12:31 pm: [report]
Your so right about taking a short trip first. I took my ex bf on a weekend getaway to Vegas. It was horrible! It made me “question what I ever saw in him!” He didn’t let me do anything, he was like a freaking grandparent; always telling me I couldn’t get that drunk, or Don’t do that, your going to get hurt! I like to drink, smoke, dance, gamble, have fun!, c’mon we’re in vegas!
We had sex in the hot tub and he got some infection and was all crying the rest of the time, I think he got it because he’s allergic to peanuts and got drunk and ate a whole bag of them, THEN he was blaming me!, that I let him eat them. So your right about those Luna Bars. lol. It was just such a horrible experience. He sadly ruined my time and money. I learned my lesson, you go to Vegas alone or with friends..
Queen Frostine
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 01:05 pm: [report]
Do NOT allow your partner to make a “Clipboard of Fun” or any other sort of itinerary. Long vacations require flexibility. You can’t enjoy yourself if you’re trying to stick to a rigid schedule. Plan loosely, but plan with the wiggle room to move things around if you end up spending too much time at one place.
lawyrgrl
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 01:26 pm: [report]
Another tip - plan out how much you are going to spend. There is nothing worse than being on vacation with someone who decides out of nowhere “Hey, we’re on vacation so let’s singlehandedly prop up the local economy!” It is every bit as bad if someone suddenly starts counting every dime. Make sure you make an agreement and stick to it!
joyy
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 01:31 pm: [report]
@QueenF - “Clipboard of Fun” just made my day.
Laurel
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 04:24 pm: [report]
Good point lawyrgrl!
For #7, call me a square, but for our weeklong trip to the beach this summer I brought along a 1000 piece puzzle to work on when it was raining and for evenings in. No better puzzle than a naked, drunken vacation puzzle!
BlueVibe
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 06:25 pm: [report]
Apparently the traveling couple are bringing an accordion with them (from the looks of that photo)? Not complaining—who am I to quibble over what counts as a “necessity”?
Okay, DO discuss ahead of time if you are planners or improvisors, or both, or one of each. My mother is an extreme planner and my dad is a hopeless improvisor (virtually incapable of making arrangements ahead of time): This made for some interesting/tense vacations.
retro chic
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 07:12 pm: [report]
Having just returned from a long(er) vacation, I can say 2-3 weeks is plenty of togetherness and being away from home. Even for longer trips, I pack very light. Lighter than my SO and most guys. We’re less cranky when the shoulders/back/wrists/hands/feet don’t ache from baggage-lugging fatigue.
One thing I appreciate, is his willingness to try new things and be adventurous (@Queen: I’ll have to tell him about the “clipboard of fun.” funny). A previous SO would only do organized activities and eat familiar menu items. I think fear was part of it. I’m an organized but wing-it-and-go-native traveler and it heightens the experience when your partner travels similarly or values the differences.
retro chic
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 07:15 pm: [report]
^ ps: that is amazing that time-travelers Allyson and Danielle up there were able to comment on this article before it was even posted.