Top Ten Things A Woman Never Wants To See In A Guy’s Apartment

Posted by: Wendy Atterberry Filed in: relationships
10:30AM, Friday April 3rd 2009

Comments (45)

Top Ten Things A Woman Never Wants To See In A Guy’s Apartment

So you had a great first date with a guy and so far, date #2 is going really well. He looks good, you feel great, conversation is flowing; maybe you’ll even go back to his place afterward if he invites you over. Let’s just hope he doesn’t have any unpleasant surprises there ready to kill the mood faster than you can say, “I’m in the middle of a herpes outbreak.” After the jump, the top ten things a woman never wants to see in a guy’s apartment.

1. A bunch of Josh Groban CDs
2. A doll collection
3. Framed photos of his ex
4. A jar of Vaseline and box of tissues on the coffee table
5. Dirty underwear with skidmarks on the bathroom floor
6. An empty toilet paper roll
7. A bunch of swords and knives displayed as decoration
8. A cape
9. Pubes on the sofa
10. Lots of cats

As for the 10 Things A Guy Doesn’t Want To See At Your Pad? Our girls at Lemondrop have got that list!

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Tags: dating advice, list

Comments (45)

comments

powplz
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 10:41 am: [report]

or my fave from college: the cute guy I’d had the hots for for years having to help me find the light switch in the bathroom because the bathroom walls were so completely covered with pages from a SI swimsuit-type one-a-day calendar. I don’t know if that was more embarrassing for me or him ...

miss game
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 10:44 am: [report]

I like cats!

Amelia
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 10:54 am: [report]

@miss game One cat is great, two is a little meh, but over two and I am seriously bugging out because you just KNOW his house/apartment has got to have that perma-kitty litter stench.

Wendy Atterberry
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 10:58 am: [report]

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE cats. LOVE THEM. But if a guy has more than two cats, even *I* have trouble dealing with that. It’s not a total deal-breaker, but it’s definitely a bit of a red flag.

Cherished_One
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 10:58 am: [report]

Every DVD of “BIG BLACK BOOTYS”...on the coffee table.

miss game
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 11:00 am: [report]

hahaha I was a little bit kidding… I think more than 2 cats would be bad, unless he lives on a farm or something?

Chelle
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 11:29 am: [report]

Hey I like swords and knives. But the same thing that applies to cats applies to the weapons. Too much is too much. And who the hell is Josh Groban and do I even want to know?

doridori
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 12:24 pm: [report]

-I have nothing against cat(s) except they try to kill me with their dander. Cats for me would be a deal breaker.
-Reading is a turn on- but not when his entire personal library consists only of books on serial killers.
- Or going out one night with a dude, coming back to his place and finding his apartment full of his funky butt, nasty, gross-a** roommates/family that try and hit on you while he goes to the rest room…

jojo32
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 01:55 pm: [report]

So help me weigh in on a guy who has 3 cats in his house. 2 of them are his ex-wife’s (she bailed). His son loves the cats…it’s kind of a dilemma. I’m fairly allergic myself, they make my eyes itch. But I like this guy alot! The cats arent really a deal breaker for me. There are many other things that outweigh the fact that he has 3 cats.

I did have one guy I was “talking to” tell me that one of his favorite singers is Josh Groban. Um yeah, I never took that relationship past phone calls. Why is that guy such a turn off? LOL

PinkRanger
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 02:07 pm: [report]

I always look at the dvds. and pass judgement lol. No grown man should have a Patch Adams dvd. that movie is a dealbreaker. I look at the cd’s too, I just can’t date someone with terrible taste in music!

JaqAttack
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 03:10 pm: [report]

My ex boyfriend had a lot of fashion books and sewing material in his house. His major was chemistry, but he liked to sew in his free time.

Now I look for fabric and needles and thread

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 04:49 pm: [report]

@PinkRanger: Who has CDs anymore?

retro chic
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 06:35 pm: [report]

JaqAttack, did he work with skins, have any Iron Butterfly Inagaddadavida CDs laying around, or into to moth play much?

You know, that’s funny, the bach-pad first impression, haha, come to think of it… The thing I’m most grossed out by is the assumption that we cannot see the dust accumulating on their sleek bachelor-black furniture with nicely arranged wine and appetizers on it, and other prep clearly devised for activities. I find guys are mostly neater (less cluttery), but sometimes dirtier with the household duties. Funny list! And something doesn’t sit right with the cat thing.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 06:48 pm: [report]

@Retro Chic: I am allergic to dogs! What do you want me to do, have snakes or tarantulas or something?

Rusty S
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 07:06 pm: [report]

My ex used to give me crap about having my surfboards hung up on the living room walls. oh well it was me and def. sparred me from putting some bunk painting or embarassing picture up!

supersoup
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 07:09 pm: [report]

I love cats!! Usually the number of cats or other small fuzzy animals in a guy’s place directly corresponds to the amount of time I want to spend in said guy’s place…

fallenangel915
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 09:25 pm: [report]

I think that a man who has a couple of cats is okay…as long as he takes care of them…it kinda shows that he has a sensitive side…(but I’d never tell HIM that, LOL)...and no, CheeeeEEEEse, please no snakes or tarantulas. I’d never be able to walk past the front door, much less spend the night!

fallenangel915
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 09:27 pm: [report]

And my biggest pet peeve is for a guy to have recently-shaved or trimmed hair (of any origin) around his bathroom sink! It skeeves me the hell out! Clean that #&@$% up!

Sofjna
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 09:49 pm: [report]

hey CheeeeEEEEse, I have a pet snake. And an iguana- he’s my baby. Nothing wrong with giving the cold blooded pets a little love too.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 10:19 pm: [report]

@Sofjna: Trouser snake?

Sofjna
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 10:22 pm: [report]

no trouser snake here, just a little albino corn snake

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 10:24 pm: [report]

Oh you’re no fun.

Sofjna
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 10:45 pm: [report]

sweetie, I might be too much fun for you. but, you can keep the trouser snake

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 10:50 pm: [report]

@Sofjna: I just had a read of your profile and you rock in so many ways. You go Jersey girl, hailing from the Jerz myself we know our own.

saysay
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 11:06 pm: [report]

Cheese and sofjna should date… then we’d all be witness to their first meet… and if they got married… we’d all be invited. Now this is a fantastic “how we met” story.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 11:12 pm: [report]

@Saysay: Or a decidedly creepy story about how this should never happen, pessimism rocks! That said, you are being much much MUCH too optimistic for anyones tastes, especially mine.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 11:29 pm: [report]

On a more sentimental note, I applaud your cuteness, and you are, however it is quite implausible. New Jersey is quite a big state, big enough for a long distance relationship, and I know that has sunk crap before, so I try not to be a negative Ned (Masculine of Nancy?) in saying it won’t work. Sofjna, believe me, you lucked out, because I am too different (Read wierd) for just about anyone, for instance, when I look at Sofjna’s avatar I see the butt crack of a giraffe, I don’t know why, but I do.

Silly matchmakers, leave me to die alone in peace.

saysay
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 11:32 pm: [report]

My apologies… it was never my intention to offend. lol- i hope.

Sofjna
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 11:33 pm: [report]

thanks- a giraffe’s ass. and wow! are you miserable. Cheer up a bit.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 11:44 pm: [report]

@Sofjna: Then what in hell is that! If its not a giraffe’s ass crack what is it?

Sofjna
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 11:51 pm: [report]

maybe it’s a giraffe’s armpit. I just happen to like girrafe print. And people are going to look at theese messages during normal hours and wonder WTF

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 11:54 pm: [report]

Nah, I see a crease in the middle, and I am sure many others will as well. Whether they say ‘WTF’ or not is up to them, but I, whom I consider completely sane (Yes I myself), do think it looks like an ass crack of a giraffe.

Angieliz
wrote on April 4 2009 @ 07:27 pm: [report]

I see an ass-crack too. lol And as for the list, I have guy friends to correspond to at least 5 of these attributes.

shelleatualive
wrote on April 4 2009 @ 07:48 pm: [report]

I dont want to find a really dirty apartment..
That for me is a deal breaker, like if I dont feel comfortable sitting on the sofa because everythings so gross thats a definite no for me

EnlightenMe
wrote on April 5 2009 @ 02:31 am: [report]

Good thing I don’t do any of these things, lol. And music is a large deal breaker for me too, the only requirement that I have for music is that the woman MUST be willing to listen/try new things in the music realm. I am a big proponent of ‘natural highs’ through music and have had many great self reflections and revelations while listening to my favorite albums and artists. It makes me sad when a person doesn’t feel particularly connected to music.

I don’t plan on having any pets with the exception of some fish or something. One of the favorite pets I’ve ever had has actually been a snail, they can live in aquariums just like fish can and are REALLY COOL! I kind of like knives (have a few in a collection) because I think their lines can be beautiful. Hair? Eww. Vaseline? C’mon now, that’s just kind of disgusting. Dirty underwear? Also eww. Pictures of ex? Nope. Doll collection? Knives instead. Josh Groban? I told you that I LIKE music, so having any of his stuff would be out of the question.

Interesting post, I sort of thought there would be more important/less humorous things on the list that actually mattered, but oh well.

moogyboobles
wrote on April 5 2009 @ 09:26 am: [report]

Must say Josh Groban got a bit more respect over here in the UK after appearig on Never Mind The Buzzcocks. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZ_x7c_AKw4
to cope with the Amstell takes guts.

hiyahails
wrote on April 5 2009 @ 04:47 pm: [report]

the full collection of harry potter, and other books normally read by 14 year old boys filling out their book shelves really puts a damper on things! we broke up out of maturity differences, go figure!

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 5 2009 @ 08:05 pm: [report]

@hiyahails: I don’t agree with your conclusions or rash generalizations.

MissJennLynn
wrote on April 5 2009 @ 08:47 pm: [report]

When my boyfriend and I first started dating he had a looped yarn picture of a SMURF hanging on his bedroom wall! We’re talking about a 28 year old man, here mmk. Mysteriously vanished one day, have nooo idea where it went. *cough* Seriously…

It turned out that his sister thought it was hilarious and decided to buy & hang it. Jury is still out on why he KEPT it.

And yes, we’re still dating.

Sofjna
wrote on April 5 2009 @ 08:53 pm: [report]

Oh come on, Smurfs are awesome. I would have that hanging up in my place.

MissJennLynn
wrote on April 5 2009 @ 08:59 pm: [report]

To each his own. (Unless it’s a Yarn Smurf.)

Birdman
wrote on April 5 2009 @ 09:25 pm: [report]

“Yes, he lives with a hairy mammal that’s demanding, mercurial, and bitchy. That makes him unfit for dealing with women.” Seems counter-intuitive to me.

Ok, I have cats, lots of them. It’s a lot of work to keep the place clean, but it’s possible. The secret is in the hairballs. Everyone thinks it’s the litter that makes the “cat smell,” but no, it’s cat vomit. Not the sexy, romantic talk, but them’s the facts.

And I have to say it’s refreshing that regardless of who I am or what I’ve done, it all means nothing because I feel compassion for creatures that are mentally and existentially identical to very small children.