Girls making out, faux lesbianism, Girls Gone Wild spectacles are kind of de rigeur it seems like, but it’s harder than you’d think to find actual songs about girls hooking up that aren’t written by lesbian musicians like The Indigo Girls. I delved deep into the interweb in search of the most salacious lyrics about ladies being hot for other ladies. The top five starts off with:

5. “I kissed a girl/Her lips were sweet/She was just like kissing me/Kissed a girl won’t change the world/But I’m so glad/I kissed a girl!”—Jill Sobule, “Kissed A Girl”
Was this pre-Girls Gone Wild? I’m not sure, but either way, the song is rather carefree and fun, though I swear I cannot tell Jill from her mid-90s counterparts Tracy Bonham and Joan Osbourne. Anyway, is kissing a girl really like making out with yourself? I don’t think so. My one experience kissing a girl was terrible though, so what do I know?

4. “I kissed a girl and I liked it/The taste of her cherry chapstick/I kissed a girl just to try it/I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it/It felt so wrong/It felt so right/Don’t mean I’m in love tonight/I kissed a girl and I liked it/I liked it.” Katy Perry, “I Kissed A Girl”, One Of The Boys
This song is catchy but annoying, because I loathe the idea of girls making out just to turn their boyfriends on. It felt so wrong? Why? Felt so right? Why? I mean, I’m confused. Aren’t you?

3. “Loosen up that pretty french gown/Let me pour you a good long drink/Ooh baby don’t you hesitate cos/Tonight’s the night/It’s gonna be allright/Cos I love you girl/Ain’t nobody gonna stop us now/C’mon angel my hearts on fire/Don’t deny your man’s desire/You’d be a fool to stop this tide/Spread your wings and let me come inside, cos/Tonight’s the night/It’s gonna be allright/Cos I love you girl.”—Janet Jackson, “Tonight’s The Night”, The Velvet Rope
This album got Janet a lot of praise for sending out an anti-homophobic message and this song, a take on the Rod Stewart original, featured some of Janet’s more provocative sapphic lyrics. Spread your wings, get it? Also, a “french gown”? What is this, a V.C. Andrews novel?

2. “If I was your girl believe me/I’d turn on the Rolling Stones/We could groove along and feel much better/Let me in/I could do it forever and ever, ever n’ ever/Give me an hour to kiss you/Walk through heaven’s door I’m sure/We don’t need no doctor to feel much better.”—Sophie B. Hawkins, “Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover”. Tongues & Tails
OMG, I loved Sophie B. Hawkins back in the day. The way she said “damn”, you just new she was probably good with the tongue action.

1. “Whips, crops, canes, whatever, come on, baby let’s go/Cuffs, chains, shorts or leather, come on, baby let’s go/I, you, he together, come on, baby let’s go/I, you, she together, come on, baby let’s go/I don’t have to make the choice, come on, baby let’s go.”—Peaches, “I U She”, Fatherf**ker
This song is really more of a threesome song, but whatever, Peaches is just trying to show she is an equal opportunity love in the sack, with enough of her teaches to go around.