Top 15 Tips For Young Women
Posted by: Wendy Atterberry
Filed in:
relationships
8:00AM, Monday July 6th 2009
A couple months ago I posted a letter to my younger self, to which many of you responded with letters to your own younger selves in the comment section. Turns out, we had a lot to say to our mini-me’s — from dating advice to style tips, we’ve learned a lot since the days we donned jelly shoes and spent weekends cruising the mall (or should I say we’ve learned a lot since the first time we donned jelly shoes and spent weekends cruising the mall?). I combed through the letters to our younger selves for the best lessons learned and wisdom gained. After the jump, 15 tips for the young women behind us.
- Drink one glass of water for every cocktail you consume.
- Appreciate your body and the great shape you’re in.
- Be nice to your mom.
- “Screw worrying about being popular because in 10 years all of those people who you thought were so pretty and cool are now chubby accountants with 3 kids and a sexless marriage.”
- Start an exercise regimen NOW and stick to it.
- If you have a chance to study abroad, GO.
- Don’t waste your time mooning over the boy who doesn’t know you exist.
- “It’s OK to trade on your looks, not just your principled smarts and scruples.”
- Spend more time with your grandparents.
- Wear sunscreen every day, and don’t forget your neck and hands!
- Pay with cash, not credit.
- Get your eyebrows shaped.
- Stand up straight — you’ll look thinner and more confident.
- Always trust your instincts.
- Never mix Dayquil with alcohol.
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sparklestar
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 08:57 am: [report]
9 - YES. My grandfather passed away last October and my grandmother now has dementia. It is heartbreaking and of course I wish I had “spent more time with them”...
newmakcity
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 09:32 am: [report]
For number #4, just know that everyone has their own demons and pain. Empathy helped me more than thoughts of revenge ever did. Besides, pitying someone (even the most popular and beautiful) bugs them so much more than nastiness ever will.
Also, listen to Everybody’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen)
Erin G
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 10:29 am: [report]
I feel offended about the chubby accountant remark.
mlyway
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 11:02 am: [report]
Of course these are good tips for young women to keep in mind (as I am 18 and am aware to cherish the moments). But I feel that the letters that people wrote in the comments in the original article are really a list of regrets. Some people think regretting is bad, some think it is good. But we all learn from our mistakes/regrets.
And we should all realize to ‘seize the day’. Life is too short and we need to do what we want before it’s too late. I highly recommend the movie Dead Poets Society if you haven’t seen it. Into The Wild is another great movie as well (based on the book by John Krakauer).
moonblossom
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 11:23 am: [report]
- Appreciate how beautiful you are (even if you don’t know it)
- You don’t want to peak in high school….life is too long to peak that soon
Buhri
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 01:21 pm: [report]
- Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and be embarrassed. the regret you’ll feel later on for not doing it will be a million times worse than the embarrassment before doing it.
nikki
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 07:11 pm: [report]
I like free dating its great to find a love
Ms.NGuerrero
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 07:25 pm: [report]
...date your best friend.
I did…and even though we broke up…when he passed away three months later, I never regretted a moment of it.
and even when he was still alive, i felt like he had showed me so much- even if we werent together.
fifi
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 09:20 pm: [report]
@moonblossom: I totally agree, especially with the second point. I think, on average, we just begin to realize our full potentials during the quarterlife. Physically, sexually, emotionally, and professionally.
edhardy
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 11:38 pm: [report]
nice tips! Visit http://www.edhardyguide.com for more informations!
Elleohelle
wrote on July 7 2009 @ 04:22 am: [report]
Dear 32 year old Elle
I don’t know you yet, but you’re still young! You’re still beautiful! The fear and uncertainty and lack of foresight you used to have might still be present, but you have the wisdom and intelligence to know how to work through at least some of your current problems. Sure, life’s more complicated, but I’m sure you have so much more freedom to live and be yourself, and I sure hope you remember that at 17 you were already thinking about what you wished you’d done at 16, and it made no difference at all, so stop looking back!
Yours always, teenaged Elle.
(that said, your list is interesting and insightful anyway)
cheerluv09
wrote on July 7 2009 @ 06:31 pm: [report]
These are all great tips.
doc
wrote on July 11 2009 @ 06:31 pm: [report]
damn…. women are really insecure
Islemanage
wrote on July 11 2009 @ 09:59 pm: [report]
Something usually learned very late in life is all you ever leave with is what you gave of yourself. How many people would care if you were gone tomorrow? if you’re not happy with your answer then look to see what you can do to be more “there” for the people close to you in life. Don’t enable takers just be willing to help people pull themselves up. What you do defines you. This is good news because no matter what goes on between your ears you can change your actions and redefine yourself. There are no stains on your soul that are permanent. If you can understand your mistakes and forgive yourself you will feel as clean as the day is long. To truly be free you must make amends to whomever you have hurt. This itself will raise you up as a person with enough self honesty and humility to Love. All life’s answers are in your heart and your DNA. The key to wisdom is using it. Knowing stuff is OK but be willing to wait to know the truth of things. Save 15% of every dollar you make and keep it in an interest baring account. Don’t use it for anything and one day you’ll have enough to pursue what you really want in Life without any gifts, inheritance, or winning a lotto. Take care of your appearance but strive to be twice as beautiful on the inside. Nothing is so bad time cannot heal unless you’re handicapped by drugs.
Magpie
wrote on July 12 2009 @ 11:31 pm: [report]
Dear 16-year-old Magpie,
You do wonderfully in your life, as far as I know thus far. Don’t sweat it too much. But realize, that just because you fit a mold does not mean it’s the mold for you. You will be surprised to find out that what you think is perfect, is actually the one the you want to escape the most.
1. Don’t bother going to class at MCAD. But you should go anyways, because of the people you meet while you live there. You’ll hate the art school kids, but you meet a family who takes you in and becomes a defining part of your life. Not to mention a love interest of complete surprise. Good for you not overlooking his kindness. He may be the one you marry someday. The outside of him doesn’t match your idea of ideal, but the inside is a welcome challenge and ultimately perfect for your personality.
2. Don’t drink so much when you are about 18 or 19. You do a lot of dumb stuff and sleep with people you shouldn’t. But go ahead and explore sexually and emotionally. You’ll find that the guys you’re attracted to at shows have an underlying ocean of sexual, emotional, social problems. And you don’t have to be everyone’s therapist all of the time.
3. Save money!!!!!! Please! Seriously have the crap you buy is just that: crap. Don’t bother. Save it for your future because you will find yourself in some financial binds for your early twenties. Plus you will want to move from Minneapolis by the time you are 19. And you’ll be ready.
4. Be nice to your family for god’s sake! Your teenage angst is stupid and you’ll love your family a TON by the time you’re 18. There’s nothing they won’t do for you that is in their limits. Trust me, you are SO lucky to have them. And be nice to your little brother. He really looks up to you.
5. DON’T DO YOUR OWN TATTOOS AT HOME!
6. Don’t start smoking.
7. Exercise! Ride your bike EVERYWHERE.
8. Don’t forget the ideals which will define you. You will learn so much about human suffering in the next few years and then find yourself in poverty as well. But it’s not bad. You’re living a dream defying the American Dream.
9. When you’re 18, you will have an anxiety attack. Probably due to some weed you smoked with a shady guy at the May Day parade. You will face your Panic disorder for the rest of your life. Don’t smoke weed. And take your medication. Hint: 40mg works for you.
10. Don’t worry, you will discover your place within a year of leaving MCAD. Fate, love and travel lands you smack dab in your future and you will begin your journey to become a tattoo artist! And on that note, draw EVERYDAY!!!!
LOVE ALWAYS
20 year old Magpie.
P.S. Your high school sweet heart of three years is gay. And that’s why he can’t love you, not the way you want him to.
Jacqueline
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 03:35 pm: [report]
This list is really quite nifty. I think the financial and drinking tips will come in handy since I’m extremely inexperienced in both categories.
I’m only 18, but one piece of advice I have is don’t let a guy talk you into anything you don’t want to do and use a condom because there is nothing as stressful as waiting to find out if you’re pregnant or not. When you’re waiting to find out if you’re pregnant it should be something you want, not something that terrifies you.
Don’t stay home. Get out and experience life. Get away friends and family and experience life for yourself. The ability to be independent is indispensable.
Be single for awhile and I know everyone has already said this but work out. If you’re healthy and exercise when you’re young you are more likely to be healthy when you’re older.
MaeBelle
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 06:50 pm: [report]
Never wear panties to bed
snap
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 06:51 pm: [report]
@maebelle - couldn’t agree more!