Facebook Relationship Etiquette

Top 10 Facebook Relationship Etiquette Rules

Posted by: YourTango.com Filed in: relationships
11:30AM, Monday January 19th 2009

Facebook, like nuclear technology, is a tool that can be used for good as well as evil. And there are clearly some people who lack the ability (or desire) to use either responsibly. One of my all-time favorite Facebook stories involved a recent college graduate backtracking it to the old Alma Mater (it wasn’t Tucker Max) on a recruiting trip. He went to a neighborhood watering hole, flashed some of that first-year cash and, later, worked on his night moves with a fine, young coed. Unfortunately, he knew she was going to Facebook (it’s a verb now) him and he still had a few days in College Town, USA. So, he did the prudent thing and changed his status to Single. He and his old old girl were on the rocks and he thought he’d enjoy the rest of the trip. This was how now ex-girlfriend found out. She was dumped by Facebook. And because this is neither Vietnam nor the Wild West, we decided to implement some rules of etiquette for Mark Zuckerberg’s handiwork. After the jump, the top 10 rules of etiquette for using Facebook responsibly in and around relationships.

10) Relationship status is a mutual decision. As illustrated above, lots of problems can arise from a unilateral status change. All of your friends get that update in real time, not a fun way to find out that the dream is over.

9) It’s OK to look through your friend’s friends for people you might want to meet/ date/ friend. It’s not OK to skip the middleman on the introduction. I get freaked out when anyone I don’t know tries to friend me. I assume they’re trying to sell me something, stalking me or both. As always, be mindful of friend-poaching, it’s not cool.

8) Ask first before friending a close friend’s ex-squeeze. It’s common courtesy and it’s part of the Bro Code.

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comments

CCstarlight08
wrote on January 19 2009 @ 12:04 pm: [report]

I read the original article…how about we add one that says “Don’t update your status with the myriad of medical conditions you caught over the weekend”...

Or, “Avoid posting pictures of people without at least telling them you are posting pictures of them…so they get a veto. BEFORE you post…and don’t post the pics anyway. That’s how you lose friends. And not just Facebook friends.”

Jamie Lee
wrote on January 19 2009 @ 12:33 pm: [report]

or how about don’t ask someone to be ‘in a relationship’ with you after 2 weeks of dating and never having even said a word to them about it…yeah that happened to me…i almost threw up when it did…especially because said person also posted status updates all day long about how ‘uneasy’ he was that i hadn’t responded to his request yet…omg, that was probably the quickest anyone ever went from single to in a relationship to single again…needless to say that was the end of our ‘relationship’

scb197
wrote on January 19 2009 @ 02:55 pm: [report]

Jamie Lee i’m dyin at your comment

5678
wrote on January 19 2009 @ 11:58 pm: [report]

This post is such total BS.

Asking permission before adding/messaging someone?? Here, let me outline this situation in real life terms you can understand that have, I hope, little to do with your preconceptions of hot-headed, irrational, online-relationship moments.

It is very simple, and involves three people. You, your friend, and a third party. You are at a party or meeting of some kind. You’re bored and want to talk to someone new. You see someone who looks interesting, or bored. But, before you can talk to them, you must ask permission of your friend. Let’s make it more explicit. You say, “Can I talk to that person over there?” Perhaps in your social circles, you have to ask permission before speaking, but in mine, that is a sign of a totalitarian, big-brotheresque, state that I want nothing to do with. (It is in fact a violation of the first amendment.) You are breaking the law by your petty desire to not be, potentially, emotionally hurt.