Top 10 Alternatives To The Word “Boyfriend”

Posted by: YourTango.com Filed in: guys
9:30AM, Wednesday May 20th 2009

Comments (33)

Dating in high school is dramatic: He kissed her? I thought he liked me! Will he tell all his friends if we go to second base? If I ask him to the dance, does that mean we’re dating? And if we’re dating, is he my boyfriend?

As an adult you’re more mature, but grown-up dating is fraught with it’s own challenges: Why hasn’t he called me back? When do I introduce him to my kids? When do we go from friend-with-benefits to dating? And if we’re dating, is he my boyfriend? OK, maybe it’s not so different from high school, after all.

One question certainly remains the same: what do you call the guy you’ve been seeing for the past few weeks? It’s a question of status, but as an adult, it’s also a question of word choice. Because, as Big asked Carrie in the Sex and the City movie, when you’re both adults, isn’t he
a little old to be your boyfriend? It sounds so, well, high school. Poll: What Do You Call Your Boyfriend?

In the spirit of maturation, YourTango has come up with 10 alternate names to call your man. Try these on for size.

Partner
The Good: There’s no doubt that everyone’s equal in this relationship.
The Bad: Are you dating or starting up a limited liability company?

Lover
The Good: It’s sophisticated, it leaves nothing to the imagination and can we say sexxxy?
The Bad: We’ve got four words for you: “Granny, meet my lover…”

Paramour
The Good: It’s French, and they seem to know little bit about how to make love last (hello, kisses).
The Bad: Trying to explain to your family this doesn’t mean he has a wife and 2.5 kids at home.

Want to read the rest of this article? Visit YourTango.com or check out these stories:

Boyfriend, Best Friend, or Both?

Groom Takes Bride’s Last Name

Why I Love My Kid More Than My Husband

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Tags: boyfriend, lover

Comments (33)

comments

aminata
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 09:38 am: [report]

I call my guy “My Sweetie.” Or “My Sweetheart.” It keeps the focus on the romantic side of our relationship, not just the sexual part.

Humble Bee
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 09:51 am: [report]

I just say, hey mom this is James and we’re dating.
I don’t try to put labels on “us” right away, not only does that scare me but he’d probably be like, WTF, i’m your boyfriend now?
I don’t actually call them my BF until they formally ask me out, or we formally talk about it and clarify that we are only sleeping with eachother and we want to take this further than just dating. Call me by my name, thats all I care about.

Ogbu
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 09:51 am: [report]

I call him my manfriend. Simple, kinda humorous and utterly true. Its really caught on with my friends.

Perceptible
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 10:16 am: [report]

Okay, how ‘bout this? We’re both divorced. I’m 39 with two kids, he’s 51 with 3 teenagers. We’ve been together for 2 years and are totally committed and plan on staying together. Having 5 kids between us (with various “issues”) makes it impossible for us to live together (or marry) right now. I feel ridiculous referring to him as my boyfriend. None of those other names really work for me either, except for one comment on the tango site which suggested, “my undocumented husband.” At least we’d sound like grownups.

I think a new term needs to be coined for the adult version of boyfriend or girlfriend in lifetime commitment situations. Right here, right now. And Frisky readers are just the minds to do it…

joyy
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 10:27 am: [report]

oof, ok, can’t get to the whole article on this computer, but I like the term my grandpap used when he reconnected with his old hs gf (after my grandma, his wife of over 50 years, died of cancer) - “lady friend”.

I agree with @Perceptible, we need some new terms. bf/gf works for us right now, especially given that I’m pretty young. Neither of us believes in marriage, but we’re quite committed - planning to build a house together in the next few years as just one example of how solid/long-term we are. Significant other is a little to generic, though I do think ‘other half’ should make a stronger comeback/busting out.

Arty
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 10:29 am: [report]

Have always hated the term “boyfriend” because it made differentiating between a boyfriend I’m dating and a boy I’m friends with. I’ve always used “significant other.”

This reminds me of the first time my ex met my extended family and my mom introduced him as my “friend” because with those relatives, if someone of the other gender is introduced as a friend, it means we’re dating. Plus they all knew I was seeing this guy, they just hadn’t met him. But my ex got so offended thinking my parents were trying to belittle our relationship. And everything went downhill from there…

Titles are so tricky!

WriteFashionista
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 10:41 am: [report]

I’ve been with my bf for seven years, and the term “boyfriend” just sounds so immature at this stage in our relationship. I’ve tried the “partner” title, but people always look at me funny and say, “Oh, you have a partner? I see.” Not the reaction I hope for. @Perceptible - I wish I had a better idea, too! How about just forgetting all the labels?

jojo32
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 10:41 am: [report]

I’m with Joyy…I like “other half”. But I also like to be referred to as HIS “better half”. Like when somebody asks him where I am, and they say “where’s your better half”. LOL Is that mean?

VocalVal
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 10:43 am: [report]

I refer to him as my “Signo”, short for significant other. That word has served me well for a decade.

Helina Handbasket
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 10:48 am: [report]

I introduce him as “my Jason”. Now that we are engaged, people constantly correct me when I use “boyfriend” reminding me that he is my fiancee. That is such a ridiculous word, I can’t say bring myself to say it. When I need to specify that we are engaged, I call him “my beyonce”, and so far no one has looked at me funny for it.

Perceptible
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 11:04 am: [report]

It seems to be especially awkward when I’m in business situations and everyone is talking about or introducing their wives and husbands and I am saying, “boyfriend.” I don’t know why this bothers me but it does. I guess it just doesn’t sound permanent or as committed as husband or wife. Isn’t there another term? Anything with “friend” just seems too casual. I also have a male business partner, so when I say partner, I’m usually referring to him. Clearly this is a personal hang-up for me and doesn’t impact my relationship, I just wish there were a better word to use.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 11:20 am: [report]

Does “Lifemate/partner” have a gay connotation?

Perceptible
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 11:49 am: [report]

@CheeeeEEEEse – totally.

joyy
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 11:51 am: [report]

@cheese - yes. that aside, neither really rolls off the tongue well.

joyy
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 11:53 am: [report]

@jojo32 - I don’t think that’s mean unless there’s an unhealthy dynamic of one person actually thinking they are actually *better* than the other. That aside, I think it’s endearing, actually. Sometimes when people ask if I’m coming to something and I’m not but the bf is, I tell them no, but I’m sending my taller half

PinkRanger
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 11:55 am: [report]

@vocalval: “signo” huh? I like that!

moogyboobles
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 11:57 am: [report]

Before we got married I said “other half”, but only in that awkward bit between having children (so boyfriend seemed a trivial term for the father of my children) and tying the knot.

subpar
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 11:58 am: [report]

My sister and her hubby call each other “boo”. I LOVE it.

brandyalexander
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 12:42 pm: [report]

what the hell is going on in this picture?????

PinkRanger
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 12:43 pm: [report]

@brandyalexander: hahaha, I didn’t even notice how bizarre it was until you said something. Captain Oblivious checking out.

heathabee
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 12:57 pm: [report]

It’s probably stupid, but I just say ‘the guy I’m dating’

—if I’m introducing him to family members (esp. my grandmother), then status is pretty much locked up.

Being 20, it’s perfectly acceptable for me to still say boyfriend.

If people ask for an explanation, I elaborate: how long we’ve been seeing each other, whether or not we’re exclusive. Different names confuse me.

Little Lamb
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 02:58 pm: [report]

I just like saying “my man.”

Kati-Anne
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 03:59 pm: [report]

@Helina Handbasket:
“My Beyonce” is hilarious and perfect! He liked it AND put a ring on it!

juliePS
wrote on May 21 2009 @ 04:37 am: [report]

I refer to him as “my boytoy,” mostly because he’s 6’4” and built like a grizzly bear, so I think it’s hysterical to give him a cutesy name.

misspixie
wrote on May 21 2009 @ 08:00 am: [report]

I used to refer to my ex as “The Boy”. I refer to current interest as “The Crush”. I think he’s gonna stay as The Crush for quite some time, too. He’s lurrrrvely (not mine yet tho, don’t know if it will change if I do manage to snag him).

Isista
wrote on May 21 2009 @ 08:24 pm: [report]

I think I might be the only one that is totally fine with the term “boyfriend.” It’s not immature to me; it’s longer to say we’re “dating” and dating is such a grey area term now. Most of the others are just weird; “lover” in front of other students, colleagues? No. I either use boyfriend, significant other or my man, and even that bothers me sometimes because I don’t own him.

And I don’t often use sweetie or other cute terms (other than sweetheart) in public. It’s just too cutesy for me.

IAMME
wrote on May 22 2009 @ 12:06 pm: [report]

When I first started dating my bf I called him “new guy” or “new guy #(insert ridiculus number-like 894)” (I had had a run of disaster dates and mini-relationships) as in “me and new guy went to dinner” and then my mothers best friend overheard him refer to me as his girlfriend when I wasn’t around, so I changed his nickname to current guy. He was still “new guy #756” and I was already given girlfriend status lol, Now though I usually just refer to him as my man or my boyfriend, although I do agree that the term boyfriend is immature sounding…...

Whyevernot55
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 11:12 am: [report]

I am glad to hear I’m not the only one who feels awkward introducing their SO as “boyfriend.” My best friend and her man struggled with this as well. They were as-good-as-married in terms of personal commitment, and had been together for 6 years by the time they got engaged. She always felt awkward calling him her boyfriend, as it sounds immature and less-than-fully committed.
I still haven’t found a good word to use, really. My friends and I generally ask each other about our “boys,” which doesn’t sound any less immature, but what else can I use? I like “signo” though, it’s interesting!

sam04
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 11:29 am: [report]

My ex and I lived together for about five years, and he always hated the term “girlfriend”. He used to refer to me as his partner, which was fine, but I have a rather androgynous name so a lot of people just assumed he was gay and then were really weirded out when they met me.

MichelleS1017
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 07:20 pm: [report]

for a long time i referred to him (now hes now my “boyfriend”) as “the guy i’m seeing” or “have been dating,” which actually kinda sucked because it required an explanation. Well we aren’t official, but its understood i’m not gunna do someone else

BeASimpleMan
wrote on May 29 2009 @ 01:16 pm: [report]

I may be alone in this, but I hate hate hate being called “the boy”. I don’t know why but it drives me nuts.