Tongue Patch For Weight Loss

Tongue Patch Makes Eating So Horrific You Get Mad Skinny

Posted by: Erin Flaherty Filed in: news
10:30AM, Thursday September 24th 2009

Just can’t stop yourself from eating the three solid meals a day that are totally making you F-A-T? Can’t afford costly stomach stapling and/or Courtney Love‘s favorite detox spa? Have we got a solution for you! California cosmetic surgeon Dr. Nikolas Chugay (interesting name) has developed a wildly innovative weight loss tool. He’ll sew a mesh patch over your tongue, which makes eating food so excruciatingly painful that patients are forced to stick to a liquid diet. Ten whole patients have been ~~crazy~~ ~~desperate~~ brave enough to try it and some lost “as much as 20 pounds” a month after the surgery. Kinda makes exercise and salads sound appealing, no? For patients who can’t make it out to see Dr. Chugay, we’ve got another solution: Simply imagining there is a mesh patch on your tongue is a total appetite killer! [Chicago Tribune]

comments

skywalk
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 09:37 am: [report]

Where do I sign up?

_jsw_
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 09:43 am: [report]

There go blow jobs from hungry women on diets. I guess I’ll be ordering a sex android now.

bethlynn00
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 09:43 am: [report]

Eww, they sew it onto your tongue? I wonder what the rate of infection is after that? How long does it take the swelling in your tongue to go down? When I was in college I got a tongue ring and my tongue got so big afterwards and then the swelling never went down, I ended up having to go to the ER to get the ring removed, I had and allergic reaction to it, so I guess I’ll skip anything being attached to my tongue again.

skywalk
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 09:53 am: [report]

@jsw: Yeah, there on sale so you’ll get a good deal

impoddity
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 10:07 am: [report]

I’m such a huge fan of Smoothie King, I’d live off Meal Replacement shakes if I could.

GreenAura
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 10:17 am: [report]

This is so revolting. How many times does it have to be said that if you just eat for health, exercise regularly and maintain a healthy attitude, you can be at your optimum?? The only thing that annoys me more than these quick-fix ideas are the people that swear by them. Guess what?? Skinny does not = healthy. Morons.

Jenbug
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 10:41 am: [report]

Wow I threw up in my mouth a little just reading this. Terrible idea. I hope that lady who injected herself with silicone doesn’t try this at home too.

I Go To 11
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 10:46 am: [report]

@ GreenAura: You took the words right out of my non-tounge-patched mouth. People are always going to look for that quick fix instead of putting forth the effort to make a lifestyle change. It’s as bad as get-rich-quick schemes.

nicole0X
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 10:49 am: [report]

Wow. Maybe someone should get these people to eating disorder psychiatrists… because that’s definitely what they have.

abbylyn
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 11:14 am: [report]

I guess I don’t understand why it makes eating painful. Is it the mesh patch itself, or healing from the surgery to attach it?

Trouble
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 01:02 pm: [report]

Gah. This story just gives me the icky-mc-yucky-nasties. What… the.. why.. the… UGH. For the love of God, if you’re gonna go that far just be fat!! It can’t be that bad!

Patrice
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 02:17 pm: [report]

Who else gets the feeling that mid month one of these 10 folks is going to start drinking Ice Cream?

_jsw_
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 02:34 pm: [report]

@abbylyn: Imagine window screen material on your tongue. Or, really, anything not stretchy, even if it’s a soft mesh. The normal tongue movement would be very painful, in the very least because it was restricted. It’d be cheaper and at least as effective to intentionally catch strep throat.

@Patrice: I wouldn’t say “mid-month”... I’d say “mid-afternoon”.

PotteryGirl
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 03:20 pm: [report]

OHMYGOD. That sounds so awful. And GreenAura is right. Exercise, stop eating Big Macs and pizza, eat veggies and fruit…and that’s pretty much it. There is no magic pill or potion or weird patch on your tongue. It’s all about moderation and your lazy butt off the couch!

fallonthecity
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 04:23 pm: [report]

This… I will never understand.