Today’s Lady News: Tyra Does A Show On Women Who Hit Their Boyfriends

GreenAura
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 04:11 pm: [report]

Hmm, well, I have a problem with this (and I never usually have a problem with Jessica’s posts). Are you saying that Tyra should be doing a show on men who beat women?  She has.  Many times.  And so has Oprah, Dr. Phil, Maury, Ricki Lake, Geraldo, Montel, Phil Donahue and Jenny Jones (90’s daytime talk shows, yes I went there!). Also, you said that her show “contributes to the mistaken belief that women are just as likely to abuse their partners as men”.  Honestly Jessica, I don’t think anyone thinks that!  Everyone mainly assumes that domestic violence means a woman is the abused and a man is the abuser.  So I think it’s important to shed light that it is not just a male-on-female problem.  Violence is a human problem.  I wish people would take on a more “humanist” view, rather than a “feminist” view.  Sorry.

Fever
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 04:13 pm: [report]

I really do not like Tyra. Her show is just about bringing on controversial people, and beating them down into the ground for their beliefs, or embarrassing people. I just don’t like the show…Ugh…Tyra….

And as for the Judge in LA I am dissappointed in him. Who is he to judge how a child’s life will turn out? It’s people like HIM who make a child’s life hard, digging their poor child’s brain full of crap. Where does a child learn to curse and point out that a child is mixed in the first place….Hmmm? Any guesses???

_jsw_
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 04:17 pm: [report]

I agree with GreenAura. I’m normally on your side, Jessica, but in this case, I think the fact that over a third of those abused by a partner are men highlights that the problem is much less one-sided than most would assume.

equnsuocha
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 04:17 pm: [report]

Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio and the ACLU are battling over the sheriff’s requirement that a female inmate pre-pay $300 to $600 for security and transportation to an abortion clinic. The ACLU says this presents an obstacle for obtaining an abortion.  [Arizona Republic]

This makes me sad, as up until now Sheriff Joe was my hero :(

joejoe
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 04:19 pm: [report]

These so-called “facts” need to be called into question. It’s pretty bad to be minimizing the violence against men and then hypocritically expecting men to respect your own issues after you trivialize theirs. Especially with such poor information.

If you want an accurate look at the domestic violence problem that contradicts your distorted view of it, please visit:

http://www.batteredmen.com/straus99.htm

There is a lot of great information there that puts domestic violence into perspective.

Humble Bee
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 04:20 pm: [report]

I think the pink taxi idea is cool, you don’t see many women drivers in cities like Puebla. Maybe the capital and tourists places, but not in small towns. Driving is mostly a man thing in Mexico.

*sam*
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 04:24 pm: [report]

I’m with GreenAura and _jsw_ on this as well Jessica. I usually really like your posts, but, sometimes you let your feminism get in the way. Like GreenAura pointed out, sometimes people need to step back and look at things as a humanist rather than a feminist.

Marcetienne
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 04:24 pm: [report]

The research overwhelmingly does show women are as violent as men in relationships.  http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm
http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/42/15/31-a

The data you’re citing from the ABA is CRIME-based data, which is unreliable because men don’t report as much or respond to crime-based lanauge as well in surveys.

A major national study funded by the Centers for Disease Control recently found half of heterosexual domestic violence is reciprocal and women were responsible for and initiated more than half of the reciprocal and non-reciprocal violence, while both sexes suffered significant injuries.   
http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/42/15/31-a
This is supported by more than 200 other studies and growing, which also show men suffer one-third of the injuries, as California State University Professor Martin Fiebert demonstrates in his online bibliography at http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm

For example, a recent 32-nation study by the University of New Hampshire found women are as violent and controlling as men in relationships worldwide.  http://www.unh.edu/news/cj_nr/2006/may/em_060519male.cfm?type=n

The children who are subjected to this violence are emotionally damaged regardless of injury rates or which parent hits whom.  So there is no excuse whatsoever for downplaying male victims and female violence, no matter what the percentages are. 

This Canadian government report also recognizes the above data.
http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cnivf/familyviolence/pdfs/Intimate_Partner.pdf

Coral
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 04:43 pm: [report]

I’m with GreenAura, _jsw_, and *sam* on this one. I do usually agree with your posts Jessica, but the fact is women abusing men is hardly acknowledged in media or other sources. Yes, it does happen less frequently, but not by much, but it’s not like it’s 2 times or 3 times as often—according to the statistics you posted—the difference is smaller than one may think because so many people do assume that domestic violence is almost always a man beating a woman.

fallonthecity
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 04:49 pm: [report]

I have to agree with the above posters mostly, because I don’t think talking about men being abused will necessarily detract from the awareness that women are usually the victims on DV. *sam*, I think feminism IS humanism.  At its core it is about gender equality and social justice, and I think those things benefit everybody, not just women.

I think the term “battered men syndrome” is stupid, though.  It borders on victim blaming—makes it sound like a man has a disease or disorder if he’s being abused by a woman.

Marcetienne
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 04:51 pm: [report]

The data you cite from the ABA is crime-based, which is unreliable because men don’t report as much or respond as positively to crime-based language as women do.

Virtually all empirical sociolocial research shows women initiate domestic violence as often as men do.  Search Search “Professor Martin Fiebert” for a bibliography of over 200 of these studies.  Search “Whitacre domestic violence study” for a recent major study funded by the Centers for Disease Control showing the same thing.  Kids are hurt just by seeing it, so the injury rates should not even matter.  This is a serious, hidden problem for which only part of the story has been told.

Glamby
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 04:54 pm: [report]

Ok, as a prosecutor, and one who prosecutes domestic violence cases, I felt so strongly about this that although I have been reading this site daily for months, I had to create a username to post.  While both forms of domestic violence are underreported, female perpetrator-male victim domestic violence is grossly underrepresented.  Even the ABA’s statistics are likely based on police reports or filed cases, which are not always accurate reflections of reality.  There is a stigma in the public that woman on man violence doesn’t happen or that he’s a man and therefore he’s able to protect himself and can’t be a “victim”.  And I"m going to raise a few eyebrows here, but I see cases daily where the man is eventually charged for the battery because the situation has escalated after the woman has been the aggressor with numerous incidents of slapping, hitting, shoving, etc.  Because he has more potential to do physical harm doesn’t make his actions any more despicable than hers.  Domestic violence is unacceptable period.

joyy
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 04:56 pm: [report]

Way to pick on an initiative that creates jobs for women in the name of creating a safer environment for women.  And really, how does one prosecute and punish creepy old man looks - it’s super subjective.  Japan had (has? not sure) female only subway cars for safety reasons as well. 

Everyone else also covered the absurdity that someone would cover an issue that isn’t *gasp* about women with the Tyra bullet point.

And you can just add the ACLU suit to the pile of other suits Sheriff #&@$% has been slapped with.  Dude has no grasp on, you know, basic human rights and the constitution.

White Mushroom
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 05:00 pm: [report]

Er, Tyra’s already done shows about males battering their female partners. Why can’t there be a show about abusive females? I really don’t agree with this post. I know a girl who went ballistic and broke her boyfriend’s leg - this kind of thing does happen so why is it so fundamentally wrong to acknowledge it? Getting upset about this show is feminism gone overboard.

Goldfinch86
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 05:02 pm: [report]

Feminism is a two way street, you can’t even use this here, there was an article on Feministing about a writer/proff who talks about masculinity and also about how the real issue at hand is spuosle abuse, he’s man and he likes to be called a feminist. The show was not pro man, any good feminist would see that it’s a branch of the overall issue at hand. Also being a good feminist does not mean being anti-man. Jessica your post was what makes many people think feminists are abunch of fem-nazi’s.

impoddity
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 05:21 pm: [report]

Well, I’m taking Spain off my “Places to Live” list.  But then again, I could just skip on over to France to get an abortion.

Dmun
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 05:45 pm: [report]

er—are you saying Tyra shouldn’t do a show on men’s abuse because more women are abused and the world just isn’t aware enough about it?

Wowsers.

Oh Kathryn!
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 07:04 pm: [report]

There is so much wrong with this post. So 1.3 million women are abused per year, and 835,000 men are. That means That that roughly 2 out of 3 people abused per year are women. Okay, that’s horrible, but LET’S NOT FORGET ABOUT THE 1 OUT OF THAT 3 THAT HAPPEN TO BE MALE.

I can’t believe you think that by making people aware of unconventional abuse that Tyra is doing something wrong. This kind of thought is absolutely disgusting.

Oh Kathryn!
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 07:07 pm: [report]

Also, I’m all for the pink taxis. There are just some times I want to be driven by a woman. Mainly after nightfall.

_jsw_
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 07:07 pm: [report]

@Oh Kathryn!: I agree, but we probably mean different things.

Iammina
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 07:40 pm: [report]

Violence is never okay, no excuses! No woman should hit a man and no man should ever hit a woman. Since most females are smaller than a man they are out muscled and men hit much harder. If she hits a man he most likely will strike back, its in their DNA. Violence breeds violence; children learn to be violent from their role models and grow up to be abusive. If any person has anger management issues they should run, not walk, to the nearest psychologist. Get therapy before someone gets hurt or even murdered.
This is what I do, this is my day job, I am a Child Psychologist.

Taurwen
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 07:57 pm: [report]

I’m with above posters, also put in the fact that it’s so so hard for men to get help when they are being abused. Even if they live somewhere where the police won’t out right laugh at them, chances are they simply won’t be believed, and I’ve seen cases where the women than accuses the man of being the assaulter.
It’s horrible.

Jessica Wakeman
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 08:11 pm: [report]

@all of you

Of course, I think violence against men is just as bad as violence against women, and of course I know men are physically and emotionally abused by women just as women are. Some of those men are my friends. But it’s indisputable that the majority of intimate partner violence is male-female. That’s just a fact. Not to get too Women’s Studies-y up in here, but the problem of male violence against women is part of a larger issue of male privilege. Hitting is wrong in any relationship, but the fact is that men have some privileges which women do not have and I think it’s disingenuous to say male-female and female-male violence is totally, completely equal. I’m not saying Tyra shouldn’t be allowed to discuss the issue at all, ever; I am saying that devoting a whole show to female-male violence contributes to the mistaken idea (which I have read in comments on this blog—go read past posts about domestic violence if you want to factcheck) that women are just as likely to abuse men as men are to abuse women. That’s simply not true. The more statistically common issue is men who are violent against women, but I think Tyra’s doing this particular show because of the sensational aspect.

That’s my two cents on the matter.

secretsquirrel
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 08:39 pm: [report]

Jessica, I have read many posts here at The Frisky about the underreporting of rapes and whatnot because of the shame associated with coming forward.  A lot of the feminists like yourself have no problems with declaring that the numbers just aren’t right and are most likely higher than shown in studies, police reports, etc.  Why can this not also hold true for men being beaten up or hit by their girlfriends/wives?  Just as male rape is underreported, so is domestic violence against men by women perpetrators because of shame issues.  No man likes to stand up and say “his woman” gave him the black eye.  As some other commenters said, try to be a little more humanist.

bethlynn00
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 08:46 pm: [report]

Agsin this is the issue when it comes to INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE is that there is a belief that most violence happens between hetero sexual male-female relationships and at one time that was true, but it’s not any more.  IPV is just as prevalent amongst “non-traditional couples” and your stats are very off, about 4.9 million women are victims of IPV, while 2.8 million men are victims of IPV, so yeah there is a gap, but that does not mean that reporting on men being abused is sensational, it’s not it’s reality.  And there are services available for women who are victims, but very few cities, only in New York and San Francisco have I actually heard of shelters and male specific services for the abused and that is a major service gap for those in need ofhelp, but are often turned away or treated as offenders. Truthfully it does not matter who is more likely to be abused, it’s a matter of helping those who are abused, that is the point.  And honestly by denying this aspect of violence we do an injustice to feminism, because the point of any civil rights issue is not to demean another’s struggle, whether they are within majority or not, but to demand that these issues be out in the open and fight for equality of care for all.  Again there have been several shows that have brooched this topic and it’s not about diluting one side over the other, but to be fair and show more than just one side of the issue, because there is more than one side and we all have a responsibilty to acknowledge that.

Marcetienne
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 10:41 pm: [report]

Why do you say it’s “indisputable that the majority of intimate partner violence is male-female” and then refuse to post a link to hundreds of studies that show otherwise and that I attempted to post?  Just a little dishonest are we?

Marcetienne
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 10:47 pm: [report]

The research refutes your “male privilege” interpretation.  The 32-nation study found women are just as violent AND just as controlling as men worldwide. 

Men make 80-99% of homeless adults, occupational deaths, prisoners, suicide deaths, dropouts, special ed students, etc., and have higher mortality rates for the 10 leading causes of death.  Men have been systematically discriminated against in parenting rights, child custody laws, military conscription, criminal sentencing, forced labor laws, domestic violence and sexual assault laws, public health policies, public benefits, and much more. 

Both sexes suffered from discrimination and limitations based on gender roles.  We just ignore the discrimination against men because society still wants men as protector/providers and “in their place,” both feminists on the left and chivalry gender role types on the right.

Girl_Friday
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 11:39 pm: [report]

I think is good that Tyra is doing a show on female on male violence. I don’t think a lot of people take it seriously when the man is the victim. And that’s really sad, because I think that makes it harder for men to find support.

Btw, on a personal note - of all the couples I know, only one of them engages in domestic violence, and in that couple it’s the woman who hits the man. She hits him in public, and it’s awful to watch, because on the one hand you don’t want to intervene, but on the other hand it’s hard to just sit by and do nothing while it’s happening. The guy is so sweet and gentle, and she just enjoys humiliating him and treating him like crap. It’s really horrible :(

TokenMale
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 01:33 am: [report]

I would agree with the group who thinks Jessica is overreacting.

But I would like to point out that IPV would be underreported on both ends, not just men for shame, but female partners for various reasons wouldn’t report either.

happy135
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 06:57 am: [report]

I would like to say that I didn’t see an article of this nature coming, but it was simply a matter of time.  Feminism is not an excuse for blatant sexism.  If you want to be taken seriously as an equality movement, then you have to actually treat men and women equally.  You cannot have the rights of men, the special treatment of women and the responsibilities of neither.  At least the readers got it right.

qnzmami718
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 07:11 am: [report]

just an fyi, men under-report abuse cases because they are embarrassed or whatever

_jsw_
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 09:14 am: [report]

I’m curious: I’m seeing lots of posts in my email for this thread, and none are coming through. Is there a valid reason for that?

_jsw_
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 09:17 am: [report]

Never mind. Sorry… I got a bunch of updates late, and didn’t realize the posts were farther up. My bad.

Marcetienne
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 09:20 am: [report]

TokenMale, it’s true that both sexes underreport, but men are less likely than women to report, for numerous reasons including not just shame but total lack of outreach, social conditioning to “take” things and internalize them and not go to authorities, fear of losing custody of kids, fear of being the one arrested, services that exclude men either in services or even just in their names (“women’s” this or that), etc. etc. 

The proof that men are less likely to report is that crime reports show about 20-25% of victims are men, but randomized sociological surveys consistently show about 50/50 in perpetration, and that men suffer about a third of the injuries.  And the police reports are going up for men, steadily, as more men learn to come forward before someone gets hurt.  Kids are hurt just by seeing it.

SouthOC
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 09:25 am: [report]

Violence is NEVER the answer.

pragmatryst
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 09:53 am: [report]

@Jessica Wakeman: “the fact is woman-on-man violence is not representative of the actual face of domestic violence. According to the American Bar Association, 1.3 million women are physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually, compared with 835,000 men.”

So, by your numbers men are the victims of intimate partner violence in almost 40% of all cases, yet Tyra devoting a show to this topic is somehow detrimental to the cause of stopping domestic abuse?  Apparently the “actual face” of domestic violence requires a wider field of view than your Women’s Studies-y lens is able to capture.

H. Blue
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 10:07 am: [report]

exactly- if your numbers are correct, it’s 40% vs. 60%.  I hardly think that 40% is an insignificant number.

joyy
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 10:13 am: [report]

Yes, god forbid Tyra Banks do a show on something that Jessica Wakeman disagrees with.  And ya’ll make fun of TYRA’s ego.  hah!

spatula
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 10:29 am: [report]

@ Jessica “I think it’s disingenuous to say male-female and female-male violence is totally, completely equal.”

What does that mean? Equal how? No one is saying that they occur with equal frequency, but I really hope you aren’t saying that it’s worse for a man to hit a woman than it is for the reverse.

Marcetienne
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 10:54 am: [report]

Somehow Jessica thinks the minority should be excluded.  By that reasoning, we should ignore the 10% of homeless who are female, the 8% of job casualties that are female, the 10% of soldiers who are female, the 10% of prisoners who are female, etc. etc.  Somehow I doubt she would take that position.  The fact is that male victims and their children have been so severely neglected, downplayed and ignored for decades in DV policy that there is a severe need to specifically raise awareness about them, reach out to them, get them to come forward, and give them equal treatment and dignity.  Tyra at least contributed to that.  And somehow some people have a problem with that?  Talk about total sexism, misandry and hypocrisy.

Erin G
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 09:22 pm: [report]

I’m on board with Marcetienne. To have equal rights we have to share equal responsibility.

Jessica, the message I’m getting from you is that us women deserve all that we have been denied, and then some. I refer to it as “gender reparations”. Its all good that we’ve got equal rights and all, but men still better pay for our dinners and not be a p*ssy when we smack them around.

And for god’s sake, 40% is NOT an insignificant minority!

Frederica Bimble
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 12:32 pm: [report]

Green Aura:  I agree with your comment and it is good that light is being shed upon this issue as well.  I WAS one of those women who hit their boyfriends. 
I sent my ex-husband to work with a black eye and it took some time for me to rehabilitate and understand my behaviour.  I knew what I was doing wasn’t “right” but if most of the people have an attitude of burying their heads in the sand or looking the other way or denying that it happens, then women who behave in this manner will never realise they have a problem.  It is as if it is funny or cute when a woman gets violent - that is, if she is “pretty” of course - and rehabilitation never occurs because if a person doesn’t know their behaviour is morally reprehensible, then they will never look in the mirror and correct themselves.  It is the same psychology for men and women as to “why” they are violent and it takes the same self-analysis to heal as well.

Having said all of the above, I also agree with Jessica’s comment and I understand that the show could send the message that “women are just as likely as men to be violent” which isn’t true.  That reason can be verified through science.  The hormone testosterone - which both men and women have in different amounts in their bodies and in varying degrees - is the hormone which gives the body the “f*ck it or kill it” response.  Women do not HAVE as much and therefore it isn’t possible for women, as a whole, to be as violent as men, generally.  Yes, there are many cases, indeed, of women being just as violent but those cases should not be held up as a standard. 
There are some interesting studies written about experiments on testosterone and the effects on the human body.  We are seeing changes in the amounts of testosterone in both women and men this could be down to the Western, high fat, low on nutrition diet and the stress of modern day living. Did you know that incidents of spousal abuse goes up in the UK and the US when there is a football game on?  It is far too detailed a subject for this site but can be quite interesting if you have studied a few years of Biology.

Erin G:  Huh?  In the words of Chris Rock:  “You low expectation m*th*r f*c*er!”  I sincerely hope you’re attempting to use sarcasm.

Frederica Bimble
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 12:40 pm: [report]

Also, take it from a scientist, I have yet to see ANY study that is 100% infallible. 

Marcetienne - nice try but I’d like to see the original numbers on all those studies.

Marcetienne
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 01:20 pm: [report]

Frederica, science DOES prove that women are just as violent as men in relationships.  Science isn’t wrong when over 200 studies consistently show the same thing over and over.  It’s not like this is one study.  Every single time they do a randomized survey that looks at behavior (rather than looking at “crime” data), it virtually always comes out equal.  I already posted the data above and here is some of it again.  This is serious university research and studies funded by the Centers for Disease Control. 
 
http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/42/15/31-a

http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm

http://www.unh.edu/news/cj_nr/2006/may/em_060519male.cfm?type=n

Marcetienne
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 05:09 pm: [report]

Ok Frederica you want original numbers, you got them.  I can’t give you them for all 200 studies but here are the ones for the study funded by the CDC, which is huge, and the 32-nation study by the University of New Hampshire. 

STUDY FUNDED BY CDC
http://www.ajph.org/cgi/content/abstract/97/5/941

UNIVERSITY OF NEW HAMPSHIRE STUDY
http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/ID41E2.pdf 

You can refuse to believe the science all you want but the science is still correct.

Erin G
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 08:14 am: [report]

@Frederica:

I think the way you phrased the issue as it being a “message that “women are just as likely as men to be violent” which isn’t true” is not an aggregious point, as opposed to Jessica’s wording, approach, and the way she framed it.

That being said, which point of mine are you referring to? The “Its all good” part? I don’t see how that could be misconstrued as anything but a sarcastic rephrasing of Jessica’s message. I don’t think its an *attempt* at sarcasm, its actually sarcasm. I guess the meaning is lost via the Internet, without hearing my tone. Oops, I did an Internet no-no.

PinkRanger
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 04:44 pm: [report]

@Erin G: I can’t be sure of Frederica’s intentions, but I was quite taken aback at your claim that feminists want “gender reparations”. I think it’s absurd to even state that men and women are equal now. We do not live in a post-feminism society, and we probably never will to be honest. Women are still fighting for their share, so the whole “we want equality, and then some” is incorrect. We are all entitled to our own opinions, but it never ceases to baffle me when people believe sexism no longer exists.

Erin G
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 06:54 pm: [report]

@ PinkRanger

Oh goodness, I’m sorry, I should have clearer. I didn’t mean at all that the entirety of feminists are like that. I consider myself an equalist, which I feel the majority of feminists are as well. All I want to see is a society in which gender plays no factor into who gets what and who gets special treatment.

When I referred to the people who feel like women should be equal and then some, I’m referring to a very unreasonable type of person. I’m sure you’ve encountered, at least online, someone like this, yes?

I never once said sexism doesn’t occur. In fact, this type of person I’m referring to, who believes that women should have it better to make up for what they lost in the past, practices a very dangerous form of sexism, that I feel is essentially the same as men who think that women “should know their place”, etc. What I fear is that Jessica is saying, at least indirectly, that women should get special treatment. Our violence towards men should be tolerable and/or overlooked (for lack of better words) because woman have been abused for centuries by men (or as she puts it, isn’t “the face of domestic abuse”).

I hope that cleared things up. I apologize. I try to be brief here so no one has to read a novel-length comment but I guess in doing so, my point gets lost.

Luminist
wrote on October 24 2009 @ 01:40 am: [report]

There’s certainly nothing wrong with calling attention to this issue. If the problem exists, it exists, and it doesn’t have to become as bad as male-on-female violence to be worthy of attention. Also, I get so tired of hearing that absurd “women aren’t as strong as men” argument. A man’s wife/girlfriend may not be as strong as him, but she can still break his nose, give him a black eye, cover him with scratches, break one of his teeth, knee him in the groin, etc. A woman doesn’t need to be as strong as a man to hurt, incapacitate, or kill him. I do believe that’s the whole point of women’s self-defense classes.

I also question Jessica’s follow-up point that male-on-female abuse is indicative of male privilege. Any woman who physically attacks a man is enjoying the literally age-old privilege of knowing that just being female is a form of protection which allows her to hit with little fear of being hit back. As it was asked in the e-book, ‘If Men Have All the Power, How Come Women Make The Rules’, “What is the power that gives a 115-pound woman the audacity to jump in the
face and give endless grief to a 220-pound man, when no 115-pound man
would dare to do the same?”

PinkRanger
wrote on October 24 2009 @ 05:36 am: [report]

@Erin G:I definitely have encountered those feminists, all through college, and yes, I still run into them online. I definitely agree with your sentiments about a society where gender does not dictate privilege, but the truth of the matter is, we have a long way to go before that is possible. The same thing goes for a post-racial America, we’re nowhere close. Which is why I do get a bit heated when people complain about things like the NAACP and the like….......but I already discussed that on another post on here a while back, I’m just rambling now….

Erin G
wrote on October 24 2009 @ 05:46 pm: [report]

@ Luminist:

Thank you, that is very well put and completely true.

GreyWolf
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 08:10 am: [report]

Lot of interest in this.

My 2 cents:

The statistics that Tyra uses are totally out of line with reality.  Study after study shows that women more often hit first and more frequently than men.  Unfortunately for women, we’re just better at it.  Women use weapons/objects/throw things… men use fists.

Studies don’t make real good news unless they are controversial.  Anecdotal stories are bad statistics but really good news.

And as pointed out, crime based statistics are not a good indicators.  Men are socialised to accept the violence and if they report it, they WILL BE ridiculed by the police as wusses.  Just look what happened when California instigated the mandatory overnight jailing of the instigator of domestic violence.  It only lasted a few months because there weren’t enough jail cells to hold the women.

Another example of bad statistics.  Do men KILL their SO’s more often?  Statistics say yes.  Statistics may well be wrong.  Men kill women, women have men killed.  The difference makes any meaningful comparison of statistics impossible.

So, are women really as or more violent than men?  The partnership combination with the greatest prevalence of partner on partner violence is actually lesbian couples!!!  The least?  Gay men. 

Why aren’t these things generally known?  Media bias, plain and simple.  Men are supposed to protect women/children, and still in the VAST majority of cases do so.  It’s the failure of that norm that makes news, so what do you hear about?