‘Tis The Season For Having Sex

Need another reason to look forward to the holiday season? New research says the Christmas through New Years period produces an increase in the number of people who have sex. This can be attributed to the lengthy time off and the rise in party hoppers combined with boozing it up in abundance.

Now you have no more excuses not to hit up your booty call when you go to your parents house this week. Gas is cheap. You could stand to lose a few pounds anyway. And everyone else is having sex. This revelation gives you license to sleep with anyone you’ve ever wanted! Next time you see that really cute coworker you’ve always wanted to have your way with, but you’ve been to shy to approach, be bold and tell him you want to sleep with him because everyone else is having sex and you think it’s about time you two did. Or the cute little young barista at Starbucks you’ve been eying everyday as he makes your coffee, slip away with him for a quickie. You have permission to sleep with the men you normally wouldn’t because he’s not your type. The “too short, has no job, and balding” men are all welcome to apply for a night with you.

And when you wake up in the morning, feeling a bit shameful about your actions, you have scientific evidence proving that what you did really isn’t so demoralizing after all. In fact, what you did is normal…everyone else is having sex. Why shouldn’t you? Ho! Ho! Ho!