Three Words We Don’t Want To Hear After Sex

Perceptible
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 12:53 pm: [report]

I gotta go.

lalaland
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 01:04 pm: [report]

That was nice.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 01:06 pm: [report]

Get off me.

jojo32
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 01:09 pm: [report]

@ CheeeeEEEEse - Sorry, but I reflexively say that after sex, almost every time.  It’s not meant to be mean but I just need to not be touched right after.  Give me a few minutes tho…and it’s all good.

OK, my 2 cents:

Well, I tried.

sam04
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 01:17 pm: [report]

I’ve had better.

missduplicity
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 01:24 pm: [report]

“I just peed.”

Kiki T
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 01:31 pm: [report]

I have (place STD name here).

mdtobe
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 01:33 pm: [report]

The condom broke.

ot2b2009
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 01:37 pm: [report]

Now, get out.

PinkRanger
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 02:07 pm: [report]

“I think I might be *gay, straight, depending on the pairing, but otherwise switching teams!*”

writergirl
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 02:23 pm: [report]

Are you done?

yarngasm
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 03:19 pm: [report]

My mom’s home!

november82
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 03:44 pm: [report]

“let’s get married”

“I’m a Republican”

“what’s that smell ?”

“wanna play X-box ?”

“can I leave”

“I’m on probation”

becktasm
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 05:04 pm: [report]

“Are you bleeding?”

MissJennLynn
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 05:05 pm: [report]

“What’s your name?”

shoeluvher
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 05:53 pm: [report]

Did it hurt?

Was it good?

That never happens.

I’ve had better.

Lets forget this.

What I would LOVE to hear right after sex: lets go again. Ahh, a girl can wish.

Bad Breakup
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 07:55 pm: [report]

“My water broke.”
“My dog’s better.”
“I’m leaving you.”
“congratulations, you suck.”

and the worst…

“I love you.”

Lisa Marie
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 08:31 pm: [report]

Want a mint?

stormygirl
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 08:34 pm: [report]

“I feel sick.”
“I smell smoke.”
“That’s very small.”

Bean's Girl
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 09:34 pm: [report]

“Here’s a towel….there’s the door.”

“You’re not as good as your dad.  He’s so…big” -while you’re still in her a whisper away from blowing your load.

“Your’e not as tight as your sister.”-while he’s still in you.

“You are too small and you are very bad.  Now get out of me and leave!”

“Wow, you are worse than the guy I just had 2 hours ago.”

“Are you in yet?”

“#&@$%.  Nevermind.  Get out of me, I’ll do it myself!”

hereshestands
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 03:38 am: [report]

The comments are hilarious!! I can’t think of anything else I think you guys covered them all. LOL

ot2b2009
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 04:03 am: [report]

Okay, thought of one more…

“That was… interesting”

Generally means that it’s not going to happen again.

Frisky Frolic
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 04:30 am: [report]

Was that deliberate?

How much longer?

Who are you?

Is that enough?

You want what ???

doridori
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 05:21 am: [report]

“That was great, (insert another woman/man’s name here)!”

“I heard you.” Said by your parents and or roommates.

“This over a V8? Never again.”

“I stayed home for that?”

“Seriously, that’s it?”

writergirl
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 06:14 am: [report]

“Can we stop?”

“Huh, funny….I’m not into this right now….”

I actually did say those.

GreenAura
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 09:06 am: [report]

What’s for dinner?
Did you fart?
Is that normal?
My husband/wife’s home!

Muttface
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 11:32 am: [report]

“Where’s the beef?”

bogart4017
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 11:35 am: [report]

“Let me up”
Words i most like to hear?
“Thank you God”

EastCoastMale
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 11:45 am: [report]

“dancing is on”

“are those cops?”

“maybe another time”

“just do it”

retro chic
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 12:40 pm: [report]

Haha, November82 and greenaura, you’ve nailed the most of the best! My stragglers:

“See that camera?”
“Oh, no… hide!”
“Set the alarm?”
“Wup, there’s more.”
“No more burritos.” [his]
“Thought you’re done.”
“Sorry, no towels.”

B1ll
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 01:54 pm: [report]

Nice Try

catiechick
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 04:25 pm: [report]

“Now I have a headache”

catiechick
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 04:28 pm: [report]

lol..correction… “I’ve a headache” (3 words or 4 words don’t make it any easier )

Powder Room Talk
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 06:50 pm: [report]

I’m a minor!

hawaiianpeach
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 07:48 pm: [report]

Glad that’s over.

Mdniteprncss
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 07:53 pm: [report]

I’m so sorry

Alison Wonderland
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 08:10 pm: [report]

Why has no one mentioned: “Did you finish?”

retro chic
wrote on May 27 2009 @ 08:48 pm: [report]

Alison: writergirl did… I almost repeated it myself,

Powder: lol. That’s now in my top 3!

My appends:
“You’re awesome, [not my name]!”
“Mommy’s OK, [child’s name]!” (thru door, obvs)
“What’s that bump?” [his]

GAgirlinNYC
wrote on May 28 2009 @ 12:04 am: [report]

“oops”

I have a friend that just had a fling, and the last time they had sex (after he left) she called me so pissed because he said- immediately after- “It’s so weird how you can’t make me cum. You’re the only girl that’s had that problem.”

DOUCHE! Needless to say, that was the very last time.

GAgirlinNYC
wrote on May 28 2009 @ 12:05 am: [report]

“Will you go with me to prom?” hahaha

anoldguy
wrote on May 28 2009 @ 06:14 am: [report]

“I’m almost 17.”
“You’re so OLD.”
“Can I help?”

Alison Wonderland
wrote on May 28 2009 @ 09:58 am: [report]

Retro chic: I guess I misinterpreted it.

One Big Voice
wrote on May 28 2009 @ 12:36 pm: [report]

“Now we’re even!” 

“You owe me!”

“What just happened?”

“This never happened.”

“Worst. Sex. Ever.”

“What was THAT?”

“Next in line!”

Leggz
wrote on May 29 2009 @ 09:16 am: [report]

Laughing with tears here but here is one for the record… I had a guy actually ask me this ” Did you come? ya know. or did you fake it?  He then said if you did fake you should do pron because you are awsome and would win an acadamy award….  Only I will ever know.. LOL!  and the winner is????? just kidding..  I think he is insecure in bed… well he still is…

Leggz
wrote on May 29 2009 @ 09:20 am: [report]

oh me again..
  Did you come?
  Did you fake it?
  If you did fake it//
  But I had to tell the story… LOL

One Big Voice
wrote on May 29 2009 @ 12:15 pm: [report]

“Your move, Satan!”

“Happy now, Mother?”

“Screw badly much?”

“What birth control?”

“Masturbation is better.”

“Get the Gimp!”

“You’re still here?”

“We’ve been spotted!”

“You’re so fired.”

Gingee
wrote on May 29 2009 @ 02:52 pm: [report]

*laughing*

If only the guys could hear my gal pals as we talk about what they did, how great they thought they were, and we were, for whatever reason, lying there thinking:

“More Vodkda, now.”

Leggz
wrote on May 29 2009 @ 06:18 pm: [report]

Gingee,  Cheers!

Gingee
wrote on May 29 2009 @ 08:03 pm: [report]

Oh, you have no idea, or maybe you do.  One gal, who is as blase about cunnilingus as I am, told me that she lies there, thinks of her knitting, where is her ATM, and if she’s had only 4 drinks, wishes that she’d had five.

The guys, of course, tell her that they’re “going to rock her world,” and she’s thinking, “Now where did I park my car?”

One of the ickiest:  Men who ask ya to help them “get it hard.”  Dude, if you need help, you are way too old, or too out of shape to be having sex.

*laughing*

Gingee
wrote on May 29 2009 @ 08:35 pm: [report]

There is something else:  American born men have such small penises.  And they expect praise or compliments for nonsense such as having a hairy chest.

Some people try to say that penis size does not matter, but try telling that to those of us who know better.  A big member feels better. 

That’s another topic that gets a lot of laughter:  The men who think that a 5 inches, they’re HUGE.  Dream on, guys, and meanwhile don’t forget to keep the booze flowing so the gal won’t giggle too much at having to substantiate your ego.

Gingee

Leggz
wrote on May 30 2009 @ 10:44 pm: [report]

LMAO,,  I totally agree…...  The funny part is I am inmenapause, For some reason my breasts have decided to D on me and my ex asked me if I was stuffing my bra. I laughed my ass of and proceeded to lift my top up in the parking lot and show him that they were home grown. I asked him if he felt he really enjoyed being a dick? because. the only dick I liked was a hard one and he wasn’t the kind I was looking for…........... needless to say he hasn’t called lately… wow what a relief…

Leggz
wrote on May 30 2009 @ 10:57 pm: [report]

OK Ginge.. Here is one more that will work well on men and usually they go popaleptic. They turn red and purple and can’t get a word out no matter how hard they try… of course the last one which is one of my faves but this one is really just as well. Gets the drunks away just as fast. and if not the bartender gets the bouncer there quickly. ” I have tried to see YOUR POINT OF VIEW but I can’t get my head that far up MY ASS!!! talk about looking stupid for a few moments and then studdering!!! then confusion across there face again before they understand what you said. Now there not so drunk buddy gets if much faster and the games begin…  Just have enough in your arsonel and they will back off or they are really a smart @ss back and you die laughing at each other all night….  Cath

Gingee
wrote on May 31 2009 @ 03:40 pm: [report]

*laughing*

Try this one: Tell the guy that you’ve heard that taping a popsicle stick to their limp member is a cheaper version of Viagra.

Leggz
wrote on May 31 2009 @ 07:32 pm: [report]

OMG that rocks   your so bad… this is great…. Laughing even more….. thanks I am goiong to buy some then let him eat one and say “ok time for sex” He will be confused, And my reply is your so cheap this is my form of viagra for you….  (he is very cheap) that is why he is my boy toy.

Leggz
wrote on May 31 2009 @ 07:35 pm: [report]

Gingee do you think good humor had a bit longer stick then the rest???!!!!!!!!!!  LOL

averardoll
wrote on June 1 2009 @ 05:42 am: [report]

Mine is true and mostly just embarrassing:
Is this yours?
It was my nuva ringon my bf’s penis.

violet7t
wrote on June 1 2009 @ 12:28 pm: [report]

thanks for that.

Leggz
wrote on June 2 2009 @ 02:12 pm: [report]

Depends Diamnond. If each gave you a diamond then you hit the jackpot number… Me I am 49 and have had 4 men. 2 at the age of 16 then at 17 I married. Divorced at 40. 1 since then.  So I think your the winner…

PennysLane
wrote on June 3 2009 @ 05:23 pm: [report]

What did you think?
What are you thinking?
Did you learn that from watching porno?

three word or not, DUDE you just pulled outta me…I’m not thinking about anything right now except, “oh God, how the #&@$% do I get outta here…” “Why don’t I own a car…” And “No, dip #&@$%, I didn’t learn that from a porno…and I don’t consider that a compliment!”

Laney
wrote on June 3 2009 @ 06:04 pm: [report]

We had seeeeexxx,

Gingee
wrote on June 3 2009 @ 07:08 pm: [report]

The normal number of lovers:  I think that ALL of your lovers should fit into two jumbo jets. 

However, one must have few cha-chas:  The guy who is more than a friend but you’d never marry.  You know who I mean:  He comes over and holds you, or has sex, or brings food or something, or just listens, whatever you need.

What I like is keeping a photo collection of the Pretty Boys:  The ones you want because he’s gorgeous.

Leggz
wrote on June 4 2009 @ 09:34 pm: [report]

Ya I guess so….  Maybe I lived a sheltered life.  barefoot and pregnant toooooo long…  Had my ex drop in to day very unexpected. Really bad timing fighting with court not to do DNR on my 87 year old father. The hospital wants him on hospice. I am pleading with the judge please let my father go to be with my mother in heaven. don’t put him on a ventilater he is carbon dioxide is 89 mind you and 30 is normal.. In tears begging.. THE BASTARD SAID NO TO HOSPICE….  THE DOCTORS SAID HE WILL DIE AND ANYTIME LET THE MAN GO HOME WITH HIS FAMILY.. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS #&@$%. TO TOP IT OFF THE EX COMES IN AND ASKS ME FOR “A BLOW JOB” I turn around and politely told him to F off.. He got back in his truck headed out.  Knowing full well he has not help pay rent or anything in over 7 months.. sorry but to me he is a dead beat and makes over 6 figures a year and promises me everything but never gives up a penny… see ya jerk….  wow I feel better venting. sorry ladies.. just had to let it out… Cath   ohby the way his response was I can have any woman I want you will be sorry.. I dropped to my knees and said thank you god for small miricales… needless to say I fell fantastic.  I can only imagine the shock factor of that statement…  have a good night everyone.. Cath