Marie Claire Profiles Three Mothers Without Child Custody
Posted by: Carrie Wasterlain
Filed in:
entertainment
12:20PM, Wednesday July 15th 2009
A recent article in Marie Claire magazine narrates the stories of three divorced mothers who gave up custody of their children—Maria Housden left her girls to their father in order to recover from the death of one of her daughters, Elle Hull decided to leave her kids with her ex-husband so that she could rebuild her formerly-falling apart life, and Rebekah Spicuglia gave up custody in order to go back to school.
A father gaining sole-custody is an outcome of divorce that seems shocking to many; we usually just assume that the father becomes the “weekend” parent, while the mother inherits the kids full-time—but why? These stories remind us that it’s not the gender that matters when it comes to caring for kids, but the amount one has to give to his or her children at the time. If the father is in a better position to be the primary caretaker of his kids, it seems ridiculous that we would keep him from doing that. After reading the complicated post-divorce situations involving these three mothers, it becomes clear that these women aren’t selfish, neglectful human beings, they’re just trying to do what’s best for their children. And what’s more maternal than that? [Marie Claire]
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Coral
wrote on July 15 2009 @ 12:56 pm: [report]
Even though my parents never ended up divorcing, there was a period of 2 years where they were separated while patching things up. I was about 7 and my brother was 9 and we lived with our dad for during the school week. And we went back to the house we grew up in for the weekends with my mom. Even though my brother, my dad, and I were living in a small 2 bedroom apartment, it just made more sense because at the time my dad was making much more money. But my dad was gracious enough to let my mom stay in the house and to continue paying the mortgage. My mom was changing careers and getting certified and just changing her whole ideas on life. But soon enough, my mom really missed my brother and I and the whole family came back together (after a lot of hard work).
Kitty Anderson
wrote on July 15 2009 @ 01:10 pm: [report]
After my parents divorce I lived with my dad because my mother was an unstable resource in my life and not a good influence. My dad is a great parent and has raised me through my teenage years on his own with the help of family friends and various girl friends. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I still lived with my mom. To this day I am terrified of returning to my childhood home because of the memories.
snap
wrote on July 15 2009 @ 02:41 pm: [report]
i still think that for the most part, all things being equal, the mother should get the kids. there is just something about the natural maternal bond that justifies this. a great dad is a great dad, and if the mother can’t take care of the kids, they are fortunate when they have a great dad. but when the mother can do it, i think she and the kids need that.
jimnist10
wrote on July 15 2009 @ 02:57 pm: [report]
@frisked: that’s pretty closed-minded and sheltered of you. Yes, let’s automatically EXPECT the mother to care of the kids and also ASSUME that’s it’s better for all parties involved.
I ended up living with my mom for a few years after my parents split when I was 7. Yeah, I mean, she technically COULD “do it” seeing how she refused to work, so she was home all day. Too bad she had no concept of discipline or fulfulling her parental responsibilities, like, oh, FEEDING her kids instead of spending our child support on clothes for herself…I don’t believe in that whole “mother knows best” crap. I ended up CHOOSING to live with my dad and his CRAZY and ABUSIVE second wife over living with my own mother. At least I knew I would have clean clothes and food to eat.
Looking back, I wish my dad had the balls to kick my mom out of the house, and keep me and my little brother in our house and hire a nanny and let us see our mom on the weekends…oh well, can’t change the past.