Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Why Didn’t You Text/Call Me Back?

EastCoastMale
wrote on April 1 2009 @ 08:56 am: [report]

I think the basic concept of the disucssion is correct, that “just to say hi” by text or phone may not get a response but that is just because some guys, not all, see it as a one way statement and not something requiring a response. If you want to open the door for conversation with a guy, include a question and that doesnt mean “what did you do over the weekend”, a response consisiting of a list is never that good. I get the want to safeguard yourself from rejection or being embarassed but men go out on a limb as well so just join the club.

justme
wrote on April 1 2009 @ 09:42 am: [report]

I’m currently waiting for a first phone call and I hate the waiting game.  I’m dying to send a text as a bit of a reminder.  Hey, remember me?  I’d like to hear from you.

I’m holding out.

retro chic
wrote on April 1 2009 @ 09:46 am: [report]

I have just marked my calendar in lipstick: “In 100% agreement with Mr. “Don JeVore!” Less is more for me too. “‘Call’ rhymes with balls, and ‘text’ with ‘Next!,’” I always say.

... So if this was the UN of dating communication, underneath it all are we really saying: “We’re all in the same boat… so, guys: call more; ladies: text less” ...in that order? Would that solve it?

EastCoastMale
wrote on April 1 2009 @ 09:50 am: [report]

Unfortunately I dont think it would..maybe everyone, only call text with something imporant and respond when appropriate.

lalaland
wrote on April 1 2009 @ 10:49 am: [report]

Blast… I am definitely a texter… guess I should give that up!

bogart4017
wrote on April 1 2009 @ 12:54 pm: [report]

Women tend to call/text waaaay more than some men. text and phone calls—-i usually get them in a meeting, in the shower or the last 3 minutes of the last episode of the final season of a show i’ve been following for 28 years!
I tell my friends i’m too damn old to text (leave it for the teens) and the phone works fine if i’m late or need a change of plans. If i’m in a long, drawn out discussion with you that doesnt leave a whole lot to say when we’re face to face now does it?

Yellow
wrote on April 1 2009 @ 01:17 pm: [report]

I’m like justme. If I don’t hear from a guy in the amount of time I hope to, I just really want to send a text as a little poke and prod reminder.

wolfjinx25
wrote on April 1 2009 @ 02:12 pm: [report]

There are some guys who are comfortable with texting than calling. Eh, that’s what I’ve experienced.

retro chic
wrote on April 1 2009 @ 02:49 pm: [report]

ECM… and therein lies the disconnect: who determines what’s “important” or “appropriate?” Just a rhetorical, nrn.

Tim
wrote on April 1 2009 @ 04:01 pm: [report]

When you say HI I say Cool she said hi, move on. 

When you say HI, how you doing? HI, how’s your day going?  HI, what are you wearing? >:)

I know you want a response.

becktasm
wrote on April 2 2009 @ 09:02 am: [report]

F*ck that noise. If I wanna text a guy, I will, and if it mildly irritates him then that’s HIS problem, not mine. If I’m sleeping with a guy he damn well BETTER take the 10 seconds out of his day to text me back, or sexy times will come to an end. It’s like what Brooding Law School Guy said, a seemingly pointless text is just reaching out, saying “I’m thinking about you. I miss you.” And if that doesn’t garner a response, then that’s just disrespectful.

jadeycakes
wrote on April 2 2009 @ 12:57 pm: [report]

@ becktasm - I totally agree.

Taurwen
wrote on April 2 2009 @ 05:56 pm: [report]

The guy I text non stop lives very far away from me, can’t call, we’re both too poor. But I also don’t get bent out of shape when he doesn’t respond.

vegdumpling
wrote on April 2 2009 @ 07:20 pm: [report]

why can’t the “pointless” message get to the point.  isn’t it about saying, “i miss you” or “i was thinking about you” or even “i love you.”  maybe it’s because i’ve been with the same guy since 2003 but i actually send those messages.  that is what i want him to get out of them isn’t it? 

lucky me, he texts me back when i do but for some reason not when i send functional texts like “i’m at the store, what do you want for dinner?”  he also frequently sends me “pointless” texts without any prompting from me.  for instance today while i was at work i got a text that said “i have all the screws you’re missing.” yeah, confusing anime quotes, but to me it means i love you and i miss you because i get the joke. 

is this really a guy issue?

Rusty S
wrote on April 2 2009 @ 07:31 pm: [report]

What about the issue of no service? I work in a restricted area onboard a steel ship… good luck with any type of service in my shop. So it may not be the fact that we don’t feel like responding, it may actually be that we can’t or haven’t received your “just saying hi!” text. I personally try to respond to all my texts, even if its just something short back. My Ma didn’t raise me to be rude!

Sofjna
wrote on April 2 2009 @ 08:44 pm: [report]

My ex would text all the time.  And not just me- all of his friends.  He was like a teenage girl!  I never really even used text messaging until I starting dating him.  The main reason I use it now is because I’ve always hated talking on the phone.  Plus it’s really convienent to use while I’m at work.

Chelle
wrote on April 3 2009 @ 07:41 am: [report]

Okay, so what about if he doesn’t have texting? I was supposed to hang out with this guy a week ago and I called him and left a message. He still hasn’t called back (obviously we never hung out), yet he was the one who told me he liked me first. He told me several times before I told him I liked him back. We haven’t even done anything yet. What is this? Does anyone know because I’m lost and I really wish he had texting right now.

Isabela Laval
wrote on April 4 2009 @ 10:09 pm: [report]

I think a lot of women (myself included!) send a text or two to guys to remind them that they are still around… available for the taking.  It’s less forward, and frankly, less embarrassing than a reminder phone call.  However, I think if a guy is really, really into a woman, he won’t need any kind of reminder.  Period.

pornqueen
wrote on April 8 2009 @ 08:37 am: [report]

@ becktasm—I right there w/u.  I don’t understand why they won’t txt back, c’mon it takes seconds, I don’t want a long response, just a hi back, you know that type of thing… but it does bugs me when they don’t respond and it bugs me even more that it bugs me, silly? I know!

greenmona011
wrote on April 15 2009 @ 01:16 pm: [report]

Althou the subject my be irrelevant to me in the dating scene, i still agree with the guy’s point of view,“just saying hi” is not something i would expect a respond if i where the one saying it, ITS SIMPLY ISN’T A QUESTION.(get over yourself) I am a texter thou. My fiance & i do it all the time, & i do occassionally send “i miss u” or “i love you” & i don’t expect a respond, i simply want to let him know i was thinking of him. Also, im a receptionist so i’m always on the phone so he can’t call me to even have a quick conversation, but we can text, while i pick up the phone calls. hence, i multitask.
This article is funny cuz my sister & i where having a conversation about texting, she doesn’t understand it, & frankly i think its convinient, quick. for example, when i’m shopping & i want to make sure we have everything we need, i ask my fiance, if we have “mayo @ home?” or something like that, instead of trying to find a good reception to try & call him. Also, last week when went to the emergency room & i couldn’t go in w/ him, he was telling me what was going on, & in turn i was updating his mother who was worried, & thankfully his mom textes too(im not a big fan of talking to her.)
so i don’t think texting should be conversational more than a convinience.