Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Is Short Hair Really A Boner Killer?

Dominant
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 12:59 pm: [report]

I think women who have short hair, who can pull it off, have that extra charm above all other women with long hair. It gives that that extra cute look - playful and powerful at the same time.
One you missed was Angelina Jolie in Hackers. That was sexy.

wanman
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 01:05 pm: [report]

I think men are preprogrammed to like long hair. It’s a sign of health and fertility and we pick up on that subconsciously, it’s in our DNA.
Also, it depends on the total package. If a woman is extremely attractive then her hair doesn’t rank high on the list. It’s the butter face principal. Sometimes great looking hair can make up for other areas.
Personally, a really short hair do says to me “I give up and don’t want to spend time making myself pretty anymore.” You see a lot of short do’s on older women. Not that it’s a bad thing, I’m just giving my opinion.

spanishdoll
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 01:35 pm: [report]

As a girl who is extremely proud of her short, choppy ‘do, and also quite sick of hearing the many ways that girls can scare off men, this idea pisses me off. Short hair is a fun, flirty, liberating way to express oneself, and if a guy is cool enough, he should be able to see that.

Though, instead of clean/unshaven, maybe the opposite discussion should be about guys with *long* hair?

Arty
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 01:50 pm: [report]

@spanish
Long hair on guys is way hot.  Unless it’s too long.  If it starts to get past the shoulders then it’s too long.  But I love it when it’s a little longer than chin length, and really wavy and messy.

wanman
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 03:35 pm: [report]

@miss
Uh, you just totally described every “DK” guy I’ve known. I never got that about women. Of course now I wish I could grow long hair. I’d happily look like the Dirty Kid now. Ha!

Lynn
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 03:56 pm: [report]

I think of short hair as being one of those “girl hot” things. Like, it’s a look that other girls can appreciate more than guys. It would be just as dumb to break up with a girl for wearing her hair short as it would be to break up with her for usually wearing more girl-centric fashions. Like when babydoll tops were trendy, they had a cuteness about them and they have their own merits. But I doubt any woman put on some big, flowing, figure-hiding frock thinking “this’ll really knock ‘em dead.” I think everyone knew they weren’t most guys’ idea of a drop-dead sexy outfit. That didn’t mean I didn’t wear them around my boyfriend, it just meant that I did so with the knowledge that he’d be appreciating me more for my personality that day

Of course, it really does largely depend on a girl’s ability to pull it off and a man’s personal preference. But I think in general guys like longer hair. I don’t look down on them for it. It’s just the way it is.

Nutmeg
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 05:00 pm: [report]

I think it depends on the woman. It also depends on what you are used to seeing on someone.  I think the author is afraid that if he likes a girl with short hair, he’d be just as happy with a guy.

joyy
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 05:20 pm: [report]

I did a pretty drastic cut mid-relationship and guess what, he got over it.  I grew my hair out quite long during college and kept it that way for a while, but I eveutally got sick of the hassle that long hair can be.  So even though my bf would say things like “aww, I love your hair long” when I mentioned wanting to chop it off, I eventually did it anyways.  You know why?  It makes me happy, and his libido didn’t take a nosedive b/c of it.

I didn’t go pixie short though.  I can’t pull if off and I know it!  I went about chin length, and then started angling it into a layered a-line/slight invert.  I’m not happy about the details of the last cut I got (why don’t stylists listen?), but I still get compliments on it constantly.  I’m keeping my short-ish hair for a while.  I love it!

vanya
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 10:03 pm: [report]

I’ve had short hair most of my adult life, everything from chin-length to pixie, and I’ve not noticed a shortage of boners around.  There are quite a few men who like short hair, and some who see it as a sign of a free-spirited, spontaneous, and blessedly low-maintenance woman.

Men, gay and straight, often compliment me on going against the grain and wearing what looks good with my face, which is short. 

I always do a double take whenever someone says to me, “Your husband LETS you cut your hair that short?” though, because people say that to me a lot.  I always reply that it’s MY hair. 

Besides, he likes it… my neck and ears are readily available for nibbling and kissing!

sometimes
wrote on December 24 2008 @ 07:15 am: [report]

i had long wavy hair for the a long long time. i got looks and was approached by many different kinds of guys - the old, the young, the dumb, the smart, the whatever. i m not going to go into variation of colour cause that s a different topic altogether. when i got a pixie cut i got the most compliments from women and the number of looks i got from guys decreased by far. the interesting part of the experience was though, that the type of guys that began to approach me were completely different and almost from the same category. i d describe the majority as older, sensitive, hipsters and self confident. stereotypes i guess are there for a reason

nycbabe
wrote on December 24 2008 @ 09:21 am: [report]

Here’s the deal.  Worn short hair most of my life (after chopping off long beautiful locks).  Really works well with my small face and kicky personality.  Plus:  I’ve got a killer body.

Do men look at me?  You bet.  Did I always know they didn’t like short hair?  Unfortunately, yes. 

BUT, here’s what my very longterm boyfriend said when I told him most men don’t like short hair:  “Well…then they don’t know what they’re missing.”  Nicest thing he ever said to me.  (and he was around for my long hair, too.)  Made up for all the absolute dorks.  How dumb can you get. 

And, yes, guys…the thing about “It doesn’t matter what the size the wand is - it’s the magic that it makes?”...A lie!!!!    !!!

Nick at Night
wrote on December 24 2008 @ 11:27 am: [report]

As a guy, I prefer long hair on woman to short hair, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t find other attractive features her just because her hair is shorter than I like. 

Normally, I do NOT compare people to food but I think of it like this.  I’m a Pepsi drinker, but I’m not going to stop going to my favorite restaurant just because they serve coke.

DidSheReallyGoThere
wrote on December 25 2008 @ 01:46 am: [report]

I had just logged off to go back to cooking, when I read THIS article, and simply couldn’t walk away without saying:

Aw….HECK NO!  As a fine n foxy lady who’s worn her hair in styles ranging to ticking my waistling (literally) and short enough not to need do anything beyond ‘wash, mousse, n go’, I challenge any Medieval Moron who rates my attractiveness per inch of my hair to an arm-wrestling match!

Dear Ladies Who Just Got A Haircut:
The contributing journalist of this article probably has enough hang-ups to take to the dry cleaners! I find that any male who places over-emphasis on our changeable physicality as core criteria for our overall desirablity leaves a lot to be desired.
—Like the balding fella who knocks a woman for using an occasional wig/weave/hair piece (No offense to bald/ing guys).
—Like the fella with manboobs almost as big as the ones he pressures any woman whose breasts don’t fill out 99ZZZ-cup to get surgical implants (No offense to guys with manboobs)
—Like the fella who can barely last in bed long enough to get two pants and a moan outta US says a sexually experienced woman isn’t ‘good enough’ to be in a relationship with him (No offense to guys with Erectile challenges)
—Like the fella who let’s his MOMMIE all but assist him with potty training, yet demeans and attempts to intimidate his outspoken, independant woman into Midieval-like submission (No offense to MAMMA’S BOYS)
—Like the fella who looks like he’s STILL pregnant putting down his companion who just gave birth within a year of the time he tells her to ‘lose some weight’. (No offense to guys with pot-at-the-end-of-the-rainbow bellies).

Take it from me. Self confidence will snag you a catch BALD, or with hair long enough to dangle out of the window like Rapunzel! 

Allow a Medieval Moron like this particular writer for the New York Daily News will make us doubt ourselves even if/when Nationally nominated to run for Miss America!

DidSheReallyGoThere
wrote on December 25 2008 @ 01:49 am: [report]

OOPS:
I meant to say, if we DON’T hone and maintain Self-Confidence; a Medieval Moron like this particular writer for the New York Daily News will make us doubt ourselves even if/when Nationally nominated to run for Miss America!

THE ONLY STANDARDS WE ARE BOUND TO ARE THE ONES WE SET FOR OURSELVES. FREE YOUR MIND, AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW.

IHaveToRegisterToTellYouYourDumb
wrote on December 27 2008 @ 12:41 am: [report]

I have no idea where you find these dudes.  I ended up here by accident but had to lay this down.  Men, ball up. Here’s the deal…

First, this title is about boner killers.  Not about love.  Not about affection.  As part of the argument, the IM interviewer talked about a girl’s body, her lips, and her hair.  All three have sexual psychological reasons for attraction behind it (Body - health, reproduction; Lips - female reproductive organs).  So.  It’s about raw sexuality, folks. 

Second, yes, there are variations of men who find different things sexy.  You know, there’s this Kinsey scale thing and, yeah, it’s a spectrum.  So, what are we really talking about…We’re talking about raw sexual appeal to the “average” hetero male.  (and yeah, there’s a bunch o’ stuff about the evolution of modern masculinism from more traditional but hey, this is called “the frisky” and has a section called “guys” so it’s not really the time, place or manner for that discussion).

So… where does that leave us? There’s basically 3 elements to it. First, longer hair mimics a woman’s movement. It’s a biorhythmic mating dance, ladies. It’s is sultry, sensual seduction to the eye. Second, longer hair acts as a veil - hidden, closed, and when it opens up to us, it’s revealing, sexy, intimate. Think of it as nature’s lingerie. Lastly, dudes like like long hair because when we’re banging you from behind, we want to pull your hair.  Yep. Caveman style. Live it, love it, accept it.

This = boner. 

Short hair takes away all those elements.  Why? You can say it’s dude-ish or butch etc etc.  But short hair is spunky, cute, and has it’s charm.  In the end, it’s the lack of the sensuality that longer hair brings. 

PS - Yes, it can easily be argued that it’s not the way that it’s supposed to be and it is relative (ie - relative to each person’s socialization / stop on the Kinsey scale), but it is the way most hetero men prefer it.

Lauralicious
wrote on December 27 2008 @ 07:51 pm: [report]

IHaveToRegister….

You just killed my boner.

Sincerely,
Chick with short hair.

By Parkin
wrote on December 28 2008 @ 08:12 am: [report]

Short hair can be just as much a boner causer as a boner killer.  It all depends on the woman.  Some can pull off short hair and be to die for and others need longer or mid length.  All depends on the woman.

Titi
wrote on December 28 2008 @ 09:58 pm: [report]

Am I the only lady here that thinks that short hair on a man is a proverbial boner-killer? Seriously, guys that look like Jesus are hot!

onmywayout
wrote on December 29 2008 @ 04:06 am: [report]

My husband prefers short hair on women. He is a fetishist in his 50s who lusts after teenage girls. He has not had sex with me since i grew my hair to shoulder length, for over a year. Luckily I have found other men who like women with long hair. Bye bye husband.

juliePS
wrote on December 29 2008 @ 06:35 am: [report]

I just want to state for the record that I could not, for the freaking LIFE of me, get laid when I had long hair. And it was gorgeous—elbow-length, wavy, dark auburn. No one would touch me. And then I went and got myself a buzzcut and let me tell you, THAT brought all the boys to the yard, heh. I mean, there was a lot going on there—confidence, self-esteem issues, etc.—but what it boiled down to is that I seriously could not get any action whatsoever for the years I had long hair. Anecdata for the win.

DidSheReallyGoThere
wrote on December 30 2008 @ 12:12 pm: [report]

IHaveToRegisterToTellYouYourDumb:

You chose to register and attempt to insult me out of defensiveness. I know it’s hard for some guys to ‘take what they dish’, because the proverbial ‘spoonful of one’s own medicine’ can often be too bitter to swallow. So you have a medieval-based Tarzan/Jane need to feel manly by having some hair to pull and a neck to cramp during sex. Woulda mind advising ladies how to ignore the things that may ‘dry up our rivers’ that many an ‘average’ fella host?
Here’s my List of Greivances:
—The balding fella who knocks a woman for using an occasional wig/weave/hair piece (No offense to bald/ing guys).
—The fella with manboobs almost as big as the ones he pressures any woman whose breasts don’t fill out 99ZZZ-cup to get surgical implants (No offense to guys with manboobs)
—The fella who can barely last in bed long enough to get two pants and a moan outta US says a sexually experienced woman isn’t ‘good enough’ to be in a relationship with him (No offense to guys with Erectile challenges)
—The fella who let’s his MOMMIE all but assist him with potty training, yet demeans and attempts to intimidate his outspoken, independant woman into Midieval-like submission (No offense to MAMMA’S BOYS)
—The fella who looks like he’s STILL pregnant putting down his companion who just gave birth within a year of the time he tells her to ‘lose some weight’. (No offense to guys with pot-at-the-end-of-the-rainbow bellies).

Admit it. (probably) You and least HALF of your friends own one or more of these physical traits. Yet you still find a companion. Someone to love you. To bear your children, even. Who will EVEN open her legs without needing a gallon of moonshine to ‘fake it’.

How? Because we are able to look beyond these (mainly) changeable traits and see the person within.  If you’re truly so shallow that you can’t measure a woman’s worth beyond ONE changeable physical trait, you’re doing every woman a favor by leaving her alone—-long hair or not.

Jaxxy
wrote on May 19 2009 @ 02:43 pm: [report]

Smbardt ppl shud reely speall very gud, exspeshily if their registring 2 call other ppl stoopid.
 
It’s “IHaveToRegisterToTellYouYou*RE*Dumb”.  Many, many variations are surely possible and available, if your character limit was the issue.

(Rude!)

Ahem… that said…

I love my short hair!  It’s a longer shaggy-ish bob with piece-y ends, actually.  The front tips are longest, and touch my collar bones, while the back is slightly “stacked” and lifted for more fullness and body.  Only the bottom of the back of my neck is visible, but not always—it’s quite peek-a-boo game!  Meanwhile, I normally tousle the sides and front, so my face is still framed by my crowning glory (that, as mentioned, act something like a veil)—just like when it was longer.

Sexy, all around!  It’s actually the thickness, sheen, and movement of hair (on a man or a woman) that is likelier to whisper “health” to your subconscious, you know, more and aside from length.  Just look at some of the women around you who have fried, limp, and/or shoved-aside long hair!  Once and a while, to go out, they might manage do it up nicely, but it’s just not an every-day possibility… but my hair gets done all the time.  =) 

Recently, I threw a few subtle caramel-and-blonde highlights in—right around the side-swept barely-shorter fringe, front-most tips, and top, of my hair.  (It’s a natural, shiny, healthy, virgin deep ashy brown, aside from the ‘lights.)  Really… another voila! my eyes, cheekbones, chin, neck, shoulders, and chest are now showcased, and lit-up, quite nicely. 

All in all—and for all my years of weeping when the stylist clipped off so much as a half-inch “too much” from my “long and flowing” hair—this is the sexiest I’ve felt (which is what makes you attractive, anyway!).  My hair looks fuller, healthier, and has so much more movement—I’m so glad I bit my lip and had them do it!  I was so sad: Before, it was always just hanging to my mid-back, mostly weighed down by its own length.  (Movement, which was also pointed out—hair that “moves like a woman’s body”, or similar?  I’ve got tons more of that, too!) 

Honestly, for some of us with baby-fine (and wavy?! arg!) hair, this cut makes us look pulled-together, healthier, boosts the cute- and the sexy-factors, and, as a bonus, makes it far less of a frizzy, do-nothing mop of lengthy (cough) Venusian Charms.

Oh, and, it’s not going to make you look or be lazy or sloppy—I am actually more apt to style it completely, now, since I know it will do something.  Where my longer hair just ended up getting tamed into a ponytail more often than not, this style poofs or shags or smooths or clips-back or goes-up, or anything I like.  AND, the styling is less time-consuming, so I’m not at all put off by trying to style it.  (That’s a good thing for me, and even better for anyone that might be waiting for me to be done in the mirror!!!)

(...but maybe that’s not really short? oops, I go now.)

=)

theattack
wrote on May 19 2009 @ 03:23 pm: [report]

It’s totally okay for men to have preferences with hair length, just like some women like guys with shaggy long hair, and some with short clean cut hair. They were way out of line to generalize and advise women to have long hair on the basis of their own preferences. What opinionated control freaks.

I’ve had long hair my entire life, and I don’t even brush it daily (but it also doesn’t look scraggly). I NEVER do anything with it except maybe an occasional side part for a change or a pony tail for convenience. I have long hair because it’s practical for keeping my neck warm, and because I’m afraid of change. This article makes me want to chop off my hair right now.
Short hair is sexy and fun. It makes a girl stand out and show that she’s not afraid to be herself. It makes her stand out from other girls because she’s confident enough in herself to deviate from the expected.
Personally the only guys that I’m even remotely interested in are the ones that appreciate diversity and deviance. (I don’t mean deviant in a negative way. Just that it’s not expected or always accepted, as rudely pointed out by those #&@$%).

joyy
wrote on May 19 2009 @ 03:37 pm: [report]

@theattack - go chop your hair!!  I had super short hair in hs, then decided I would be an actual girl in college and grow it out ... to the middle of my back-long.  It was pretty, but it got old so I chopped it to about chin length last year, then have been jacking an inverted angle ever so slightly more with each cut, with it blending in the back and slight layers all around. 

Bascially, it’s the most flattering haircut I’ve ever had and it’s really easy to maintain.  Also, I live in a place that gets very cold winters, and I haven’t noticed a dramatic change.  Arm yourself with a good scarf or a jacket with a good collar/hood just in case though.

You don’t have to chop it ALL off, but definitely change it up a little, even if you keep it relatively long.  Tip: find yourself a REALLY good stylist - I pay more now for haircuts then I ever thought I would ($40 - ok so I’m majorly cheap and that used to be a lot to me) - but it’s totally worth it. Also, if you do go for a shortshort cut, budget to have your hair cut way more often, you’ll need to trim more frequently to keep a short cut’s shape.

sam04
wrote on May 19 2009 @ 03:49 pm: [report]

I think that guys are usually attracted to girls because they’re… girls.  Longer hair is typically more feminine.  Everyone’s allowed to have preferences, though. 

I don’t see why an article like this would deter anyone from cutting their hair off.  If you think you look hot with whatever hairstyle you have, that makes all the difference.  I rocked a pixie for awhile and loved it, but I have a really tiny face so it suited me.