Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Will You Stick Around If You Can’t Stand Her Friends?
Posted by: Amelia McDonell-Parry
Filed in:
guys
9:00AM, Wednesday October 14th 2009
You know what’s nice? When you meet someone and they’re awesome and you like them and they like you and BONUS, their friends RULE. And you know what sucks? The opposite of that. When the dude you’re into has friends that are just THE WORST. Still, I’ve been known to suffer through a lot of beer guzzling with a dude’s former frat pals or a guy’s practically mute guitar-picking crew, just because I like him. But how much is a man willing to deal with when it comes to the woman he likes and that posse of gossipy bitches she calls her “best friends”? I’m lucky—I think my friends are the awesomest chicks in all of awesometown. But what if, say, my besties were made up of Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Kristen Stewart, and Heidi Montag (or, for visual purposes, the Heathers)? How would a dude deal with a woman whose friendship circle included those three for company? I went to the you-know-whos to find out.
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cali_candy
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 09:00 am: [report]
I would deserve to have no boyfriend if Heidi Montag was my friend
Lexington
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 10:05 am: [report]
See, here’s where I would like to point out some thoughts from the other side- what if one of your friends is with someone truly heinous? Because I’m going through this right now, it’s kind of on my mind- what if the reason the guy dislikes the girl’s friends is because they don’t approve of him?
My best friend just married someone she’s known for about 7 months- she’s approximately 5 months pregnant, but she told me they were engaged around the end of one month and I wanted her to wait a bit to decide anything- unfortunately, she’s extremely impressionable and I know this guy is all wrong for her- and here goes my twisted way of thinking- since I don’t want him to know how much I dislike him, and have her kick me out of her life, I’ve pretty much removed myself from her life preemptively. So it’s not always that a girl’s friends are terrible (which can also happen, obv), but that the guy is defending his territory.
But if a guy didn’t like my other best friend, I would be hard put to stay with him just because we are so similar. I’ve never dated a guy whose friends I didn’t like- in fact, I’m actually having problems with ending things with someone right now partly just because his friends are so awesome.
Sorry if this was incoherent at all- I’ve kind of got the swine flu and my concentrating skills are less than par.
luke15chick
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 10:46 am: [report]
just out of curiosity, where are these guys responding the ims found? and is it just me or does the experienced guy seem to respond to all these questions?
cooldad
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 03:35 pm: [report]
I don’t think it matters so much whether you like their friends (or parents for that matter). Could even be better, gives her more independence to go hang with her friends w/o you. Plus over time, friends change, move away on both sides
SouthOC
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:57 am: [report]
For me it depends on the amount of time required… If I really don’t care for one of her friends, I can “grin and bear it” in small doses. If it’s a regular thing for long periods of time… That’s another story - we negotiate.
I have friends that my wife doesn’t like, so to spare her the agony, I meet with them on my own for lunch or a ball game.
Lucas Hardeman
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 07:48 am: [report]
I have dated a girl whose best friend hated me. I never figured out why. While trying to merge our respective circles,said friend ran dated one of my guy friends, tried to emotionally use a second, and made out with a third (who had a girlfriend at the time).
Mixing friends can be a dangerous game, when the personalities don’t mesh right.