Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: How Do Men Like To Be Wooed?
Posted by: Amelia McDonell-Parry
Filed in:
guys
12:30PM, Wednesday February 11th 2009
You know what has always struck me as unfair? That Valentine’s Day is largely considered to be a holiday for women. In all the ads for the holiday, jewelry, chocolates, flowers, etc. are all gifts given to women, from their devoted, tie-clad husbands and boyfriends. Bu what about dudes? Don’t they want cheesy tokens of love and affection too? Wouldn’t they like to be taken out for a romantic dinner or given a nice piece of man jewelry? (By which I mean a watch. Men should not wear any jewelry outside of a watch and a wedding band. That is a rule.) The first Valentine’s Day I spent with my ex, five years ago, we went out to dinner, but his parents had called up the restaurant and pre-paid for our meal, as a surprise. (I guess they had a sense that I was “The One,” which used to make me go, “Aww,” but now makes me go, “Oops!”) I, however, felt like getting him something too, and ended up giving him four new wine glasses—partially as a joke because I had broken one of his the week before. The point is, don’t men deserve and want a little wooing? And if so, how do they want to be wooed? I asked the fellas.
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Spiff
wrote on February 11 2009 @ 01:28 pm: [report]
Does anyone else notice a pattern from the responses?
Men don’t expect anything on V-day…because it’s not for us. If a woman shows love to us we likely find reassurance in that love in the random and small and not in a scheduled day of demonstration.
No offense, but this entire post seems like a woman searching for a reason to make Valentines day more equitable because it’s something that coupled women enjoy, wish to see continue, and feel slightly guilty about. My two-cents says that the whole point is that it is ONLY for the women by design. If it was an event where both partners shared equitably in both burden and enjoyment then it wouldn’t make women feel so “special” now would it?
With that said I am going to go back to planning a doting and romantic evening. I may hate it, but if that is part of what it takes to communicate her value to me then so be it. Ahhh crap! Did I just say something romantic?
Humble Bee
wrote on February 11 2009 @ 02:23 pm: [report]
haha, Dirty Texter is something else.
My bf is not normal. From what I read here, mots guys just don’t want their girl to make a big deal out of V-day, which I told my bf, please don’t buy me anything, I think its an artificial holiday, we should just go hang out at the batting cages, and i’m cooking dinner. When i told him, it’s like me saying his favorite team lost, he went all ballistic. “BUT i saved so much money for your gift, and I want that clock, and blah blah.” It hurt me :(
It seems like it’s all about the gifts, and the price. NOt the every day things that make you love someone. Maybe he feels more of a man when he buys me things, idk.
powplz
wrote on February 11 2009 @ 02:46 pm: [report]
I got my bf chocolates for our first V-day together. He got a kick out of it because he loves food/eating ... and at 29y.o. then, he said it was the first time anyone ever given him chocolates! It was a small box from Godiva, and of course I ate a bunch too.
This year, I think I’m going to get him more socks (he has the money but WON’T replace his old nasty ones), plus bring the massage book out that I bought a month or two ago but never really busted into. Fun + comfort = a happy man, no?
As for past gifts (v-day or no) that seemed to be universally man-pleasin’: nice charcol grill, chair back massager, nice dinner+good wine.
melloe
wrote on February 11 2009 @ 04:03 pm: [report]
Gee it seems like guys are rather simple-minded (or single-minded). Is Valentine’s day really for the girl? That’s what companies want us to think, but as a woman I don’t want a huge deal made out of it either…
bklyniiite
wrote on February 11 2009 @ 11:03 pm: [report]
“Wooing” a man is like going to the pound and begging the dog to take you home.
hereshestands
wrote on February 15 2009 @ 02:46 am: [report]
Well I am an 18 year old girl and I have been with my guy for two years now and this year I baked him a mud cake which is his all time favourite and I wrote I <3 U on it with M & M’s and he loved it I also got him a shower gel pack which he liked of course, I like to get gifts that he will enjoy and are useful. And I am a bit of a romantic and love days like valentines. =)
writergirl
wrote on February 15 2009 @ 06:55 am: [report]
The most romantic Valentine gift my husband ever gave me was putting my five year old to bed last night so I didn’t have to.
I gave him a bag of chocolates—plain inexpensive, run of the mill Hershey’s—in a small gift bag left over from the gift bags of candy I did for said five-year-old’s class. He got a kick out of that.
Actually, one of our nicer Valentine’s….