This Week Only: Brothel Blowout Sale for Seniors!

In honor of national Seniors Week in Melbourne, Australia, grandpas and grandmas will receive lots of great perks and discounts to celebrate their vivacity, wisdom, and ... sex lives. Screw the early bird special, salacious seniors Down Under can show their card and receive discounts on, err, sexual services. From October 4 to 11 some local brothels aligned with Australian Adult Entertainment will offer markdowns of up to 50 percent on services for seniors. What a deal! AAEI spokesman William Albon says, “Many senior members of the community already use our member’s services, whether visiting a brothel or having an escort visit their place of residence, including aged care residential centers.” A prostitute in a nursing home? Not a visual I’m totally comfortable with but, yes, in case you were wondering, old people need action, too. [Moorabin Glen Eira Leader]