The Nookie Know-It-All: Threesome Etiquette

Posted by: Sexpert Lindsay Filed in: sex
10:00AM, Wednesday March 12th 2008

What are some easy steps to having a threesome where no one gets hurt?—Menage A Trois, Greenwich, CT

You’d think there’d be a Threesome for Dummies or Emily Post’s Guide to Entertaining Your Third Party…but alas, there’s not. Instead, you’ve got me.

The first rule of thumb is to make sure you really want to have a threesome. Is this something your boyfriend wants you to try, and you’re just going along with it? Or, are you planning it to spice things up, and keep your partner satisfied? I think you need to examine why you’re wanting one, and if it’s the best thing for you AND your relationship.

With that said, there are a few basic rules to having a three-way, your-way (I’m totally pitching that idea to Burger King).

Lay down some rules with your boyfriend. Let him know if you’re comfortable with him having intercourse with this third person, or if you want to keep it to oral. Basically, figure out how far you want each other to go.

When you’re in the middle of it (or them) try to remember that everybody is there to “get some.” Don’t be selfish and hog all the sex time—make sure everyone is included in some way.

Don’t get attached? I put a question mark by this one because I’m not sure how easy that is to do. You can’t establish a “rule” for an emotion. One way to lessen your chances for emotional ties to the third party is to not choose somebody you know. That way, what happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom. ( I already pitched that to Las Vegas.)

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