Worst Roomates Ever
Posted by: DivineCaroline.com
Filed in:
relationships
1:30PM, Thursday March 5th 2009
When I showed up for my freshman year of college, my roommate was a no-show. Since then, I have had one waking nightmare after another—the one who brushed her teeth so hard, she passed out in the bathroom and conked her head on the sink; the one who drank a case of beer every night; the one who paid $250 in rent while charging me $900; the one who accused me of stealing his $100 guitar when I had three guitars worth fifty times that. Needless to say, I now pay out my ear to live alone and it’s worth every single penny.
Our editorial team shares stories of their worst roommates ever:
Ashley Nelson, Editorial Assistant: The Secret Room
I needed to get to San Francisco, and fast. I had moved back to my hometown for the summer months and would have bunked with Beelzebub himself had he provided a swift alternative. I quickly found a room for rent on Craigslist and went to meet the couple. He owned his own computer business and worked from home. They obviously could pay the bills and both had a pulse (my only prerequisites at this point), so papers were signed, handshakes were squeezed, and I moved in the following week.
At first, there were the little things: her getting mad if the dishtowel got too wet, say, or his late night deliveries from visitors attending “business” meetings in our kitchen. But then came the strangest discovery. I realized that my housemates were adamant about me never, ever, under any circumstances, taking out the trash. Naturally, this was completely fine with me until the weekend they went out of town and I decided to do it. I opened the door that led down to the trash area and stepped into a small room that I’d never seen before; I couldn’t believe what I saw—the walls were stacked from floor to ceiling with black laptops (black in hue and the market in which they came from). There had to be at least 500 of them. Hmm. I moved in with friends shortly thereafter. Last I’ve heard, they’ve moved out of the country.
Jennifer Hastings, Editorial Assistant: Am I Invisible?
My childhood friend and I lived happily in our little apartment in San Francisco until she suddenly decided to take on some volunteer work in Costa Rica for six months—amazing opportunity for her, panic for me. I had to find a replacement on short notice and I am not one who likes roommate searching, especially in a kooky city like San Francisco. My friend ended up finding a co-worker, Melissa, who needed a temporary place to stay. My friend described her as, “Shy, a little quiet. No, worries—it will be great!” So Melissa moved in and she was definitely quiet … or was it that I was invisible? You see, the girl never spoke to me! Seriously, walked right by, no words, nothing. I would leave her notes inviting her to go have a drink and she wouldn’t respond. I would politely wave to her if I saw her out and she would ignore me. I tried everything to “break the ice” but this girl was nothing but ice cold. It got to a point where I would say things like, “Still ignoring me today, Melissa? Okay then. Have a good day!” Six months later, she moved out and to this day, still no word.
Vicki Santillano, Staff Writer: Like My Chest Hair?
Luckily, most of my roommate situations have worked out for the best. However, I wasn’t sure this would be the case when I was trying to find an affordable room to rent in San Francisco (not unlike attempting to locate the Holy Grail or the Fountain of Youth). It’s all about Craigslist here, which guarantees at least one encounter with mind-boggling eccentricity. Mine came at 7 p.m. one cold August night. I was to tour a room in a house occupied by one other person—a guy who seemed normal enough in his emails. Upon arriving, I discovered he was in his sixties (at least) and wearing a shirt unbuttoned down to his navel, revealing a thick nest of grey chest hair. I ignored his semi-lecherous grin and attempted to hide my panic … until he showed me my future room. Its walls were cotton candy pink and adorned with numerous crucifixes and a picture of the Virgin Mary. And yes, the room was currently unoccupied. He assured me that the religious paraphernalia came with the room, so I told him I decided to move to Boston instead and quickly made my exit. I got an email the following week telling me he had “chosen someone else” as a renter—as if he was rejecting me! Best of luck to him or her.
Natalie Josef, Managing Editor: Oh the Horror …
A rent-controlled room, across from Dolores Park in San Francisco—too good to be true? Um … yeah. My roommate’s charming “idiosyncrasies” were as follows: She never—never—left the house, though her ad said she loved travel and walking outdoors with a passion. She wouldn’t share any common items; I had to have my own sponge, silverware, pots, and dishes. The one time she ever left town, she asked me to take care of her cats, and of course, I said yes. Both required medication and had to be fed twice a day, which sounds simple enough, but they could only take their medication an hour before or after they were fed—I had to get up an hour early each morning and chase them both to force the meds down their throats and then wait an hour to feed them, which was then repeated at night. One project of hers—to paint the hallway—took months of her trying to decide between two identical shades of yellow. Then she wanted to spend the holidays with me … I had moved in with her in November! Oh and the worst—she would groan, moan, and make inappropriate noises while sitting on the toilet, which of course was right next to my room. By February, I was actually fearing for my safety so I gave notice, took on a second job, and moved out on my own. I learned that one way or another, you pay for things. The rent was great, but I paid—with my soul!
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AgentBeryllium
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 01:48 pm: [report]
Oh dear! You could have based this article off of me!
I have had weird roommates since college, it was until I got into the Marine Corps that I actually had a normal one and then after my divorce I literally had the roommate from Hell. he could have been the drunken, drugged up gay version of Satan himself. Horrible! After that I suck it up and pay the extra cash for my own place. I like to refer to it as ‘sanity insurance’. Since then I have been blissfully living in a small community with my cats. I may have a neighbor from hell. But no worries! I just call the manager and it is fixed.
I will never again have a roommate for any reason.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 02:18 pm: [report]
My freshman year roommate was a avid-conservative, his idols were Karl Rove and George Bush. He had Ann Coulter books on his bookshelf and we argued a lot, while going nowhere. I can’t wait to get out of situations like this with roommates.
AgentBeryllium
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 02:23 pm: [report]
To CheeeeEEEEEse:
What is it with College roommates? Are they incarnates from hell or a production of hyper/hypo parenting?
I wonder if his parents are aware of what an annoying little jerk they created?
My Worse College roommate was ‘Andromeda’ She had pink and green dreads, I billion piercings (in her face) and wore these bizarre always black wench/maiden dresses.
She used to talk down to me all the time. Like I didn’t speak English.
Then again.. I was in Art School. It would explain a lot.
LolaJo
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 02:35 pm: [report]
I had the best roommate in college, and also the best roommate when I first moved to NYC. My next place was a disaster - I moved in with a couple. He would love to take over the bathroom in the morning right when I needed it, and sit on the toilet while studying his med school books for an hour. They refused to have the windows open in the summer because of a fear of bug, but refused to use an AC or even a fan to avoid paying the bills. The worst? The night I woke up at 2 in the morning because he slashed her hand with one of my kitchen knives. I left, stayed with my sister for a few weeks, bought my own place soon after, and I’ve lived alone ever since.
joyy
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 02:42 pm: [report]
My freshman roommate in college was awesome. It was when I moved in with friends that I had roommates from hell. Let’s just highlight my d-bag now-former friend who f*cked his gf (a former roommate before that, whom he KNOWS I hated) ... IN MY BED while I was out of town and then had the balls to tell me my request that she not be in the apartment from then on was unreasonable (she lived in the unit just upstairs from us, it’s not like it would have been difficult).
cattgirl813
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 02:45 pm: [report]
A (now former) friend called me one night in tears. She’d been in a dispute with her landlord and it ended with her being locked out of her apartment and her things on the street - illegally evicted, of course - and she needed a place to stay ASAP. I told her I could take her in for a couple of weeks, but not much longer than that. (I’d just divorced and wanted time to myself, but was willing to give a friend some temporary help.) She ended up staying two months. When I told her it was time for her to go, that’s when the fun began. Turns out she’d trashed her apartment after feuding with the landlord and not paying rent for several months. She told me she had ran a computer consulting business in a downtown office building - but the business nor the suite number she gave me existed. She made calls to a phone sex line (!!!) on my phone and when I demanded payment, she paid me with a bad check. I locked her out and told her (in writing) I’d return her things when she made payment for the calls (cash or cashiers check, please). She responded with a letter (but no payment), in which she told me that “God knew she was a good person.” I told her I’d done some checking and found the numbers to her landlord (who was looking for her for back payment) along with some creditors who’d love to know where she is. “God may know you’re a good person, but I bet He wouldn’t take a check from you.” I told her she had 10 days to pay or I’d dispose of her things and head to small claims court for payment. I got my money, she got her things, and I’ve never had a roommate again.
retro chic
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 02:46 pm: [report]
Grew up with two younger sisters… I was cured of any roommate notions. But CheeeeEEEEse… dude. The “talks” and Coulter books/Red contraband laying around would be hard to take.
My dealbreaker would be not being able to trust or cohabitate with someone who doesn’t like chocolate. Finding white chocolate wrappers would be bad.
WinkyFace
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 03:06 pm: [report]
My worst roommate experience wasn’t with my own roommate, but with a friend’s roommate while I was visiting her in Madrid. Ivan would smoke in the kitchen, which made all the food taste like tobacco. He was also very anal about turning off the hot water heater. If you didn’t get in the shower less than a minute after turning it on, he’d switch it back off again. One time, he switched it off while I was showering because he didn’t realize I was in the bathroom. Pain in the ass! He also nickel and dimed my friend for EVERYTHING, down to the very last Euro. Which was weird, because he was always talking about how his family came from money.
dirtyboots
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 03:07 pm: [report]
My third year of college I had two roommates, one of which I loved and got along with fabulously. The other one had several friends who were homeless, traveler kids who hopped trains, never showered, had no money, had drug habits, horrible odors…etc. One in particular ended up being a pretty regular fixture at our house, and except for his odor he was tolerated fairly well. It turned out that his odor was caused by an open wound on his foot that turned gangrenous. Ultimately he had to have his foot amputated (and the hospital let him keep his amputated foot) and as a token of affection for my roommate, he cut the big toe off of his amputated foot and gave it to her in a plastic bag, which she kept in her room. This is a true story. That’s when I broke my lease and moved back in with my parents.
joyy
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 03:15 pm: [report]
@dirtyboots: YOU WIN. game over.
cattgirl813
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 03:41 pm: [report]
dirtyboots: WOW! I would’ve ran from there without looking back too. People are crazy.
writergirl
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 03:47 pm: [report]
Seriously, dirtyboots. No one can top that.
Alison Wonderland
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 06:19 pm: [report]
An ex college housemate still owes me and the 5 other people she lived with +/-$6000 for 11 months of rent she told us she payed but didn’t. Ironically we didn’t find out until we got a summons that we were getting sued $15,000 by the landlord for all the missing rent… After 3 months of her not paying didn’t that raise any red flags for him that he would tell us? Nah. Apparently not. We told the landlord to keep all our security deposits and paid additional money in order to avoid the law suit. She quickly moved out, ‘defriended’ us all online, blocked all our screennames, and even her parents do not pick up any of our phone calls. When we track her down we’re taking her to court… even it’s its years from now. Bitch owes me $900 bucks!
becktasm
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 10:39 pm: [report]
My freshman year of college I had three assigned roommates: A sweet, shy little agnostic; a well-meaning but rather shrill Jewish girl; and a small-town girl who was in a full on, no holds barred Christian cult (which was, may I mention, anti-Semitic). I myself am an atheist, and a bit of a drinker, and a bit of a slut. It was like a #&@$% sitcom. Cult girl was always trying to drag us to her freaky church meetings (she even tried to hook me up with her older brother at one point- “I could use a positive influence”), and she was INCREDIBLY tidy and would leave me passive-aggressive little notes on my computer about how it was “my week to clean the bathroom! =)”. All this in a tiny dorm room barely big enough to hold 4 desks and 2 bunk beds. I tell you what, by the time that year ended none of us could pack up and leave fast enough. Except for the sweet little agnostic, who actually moved into an apartment with me. We don’t see cult girl anymore.
The Nomad
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 11:13 pm: [report]
One randomly assigned roommates on a study abroad trip was a bit more -open- with her body and sexuality than I was. In the first hour of moving in, she told/asked me “I like to be naked a lot. I hope that’s not a problem?” I saw more of her vag that semester than her boyfriend did. To make matters more interesting, she would keep her vibrator/dildo erect on the (very small) shared nightstand between our beds. Nothing like reaching for the lamp in the dark and realizing you had missed.
For all her, um, quirks, she turned out to be an otherwise awesome roommate.
Tamara
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 11:14 pm: [report]
This is quite long…
My ex and I moved in with a girl we’d been friends with in high school and had recently started talking to again. Almost instantly the situation fell apart, she always wanted to sleep with us, walked around naked, cried and screamed at her mooch of a boyfriend who stayed for days at a time. My only request was that no one smoked in the apartment as I has recently quit, it was agreed upon but in the summer I nearly had a heart attack when I got an almost $700 electric bill. The summer had been hot as hell and her boyfriend had been smoking in her room with the window open and leaving it open 24/7 so I wouldn’t smell the smoke while the ac ran all the time in order to compensate. She pissed some girl off and in return the girl poured half a pound of flour in our cars gas tank and upon starting it my boyfriend destroyed the new fuel filter, fuel pump and all the injectors. She also got mad at her lovely boyfriend and in a fit of rage took a large kitchen knife to his prized stuffed bunny….only to hit herself in the face with the blade. We sat with her in two different ers and waited while a plastic surgeon fixed the damage in total for 12 hours, and then we took her to his parents with us for thanksgiving so her parents wouldn’t see what she had done to her face.
It all fell apart when I started dancing and somehow me being able to save money and go shopping more than once every 6 months was my attempt to flaunt it in her face.She told her parents that I danced because she worked in the same club (in the store) and I had to deal with her alcoholic father coming over at all hours of the day calling me trash and begging her to stop working there. She started seeing some douchebag and finally told me I was the cause of her depression. She stole a bunch of my stuff and refused to talk to my ex or I, she would run out the door if we were home until one day she came in to get her stuff to move out. She still owes us about $900.
I will never ever have a room mate again. Dirty boots, you take the cake.
dirtyboots
wrote on March 6 2009 @ 11:09 am: [report]
I currently have no roommates except for a 5 year old rat terrier, and that’s just the way I like it. I was scarred for life by that whole situation….the story even made national news - there was a big discussion on whether or not it was appropriate for the hospital to let him keep his amputated parts…and it turns out it was a health hazard.
Chelle
wrote on March 6 2009 @ 08:24 pm: [report]
My adult life so far has been full of bad roommates. I have enough stories to fill several pages. I’ll just do the worst one. I moved in with a friend (not a close friend, we didn’t hang out often) and his fiance. They needed a 3rd person on the lease to get the apartment. That should’ve been a red flag. Everything was okay at first. They are both Catholic and they were kind of freaked out that I had tarot cards but it wasn’t a huge issue. Then I started to notice what an #&@$% he really was, especially to her. “Honey can you get me this, can you get me that, cook me dinner, do my laundry…”. She would do it at his command! No pleases or thank yous. Okay, I could even get over that. Then they started acting really shady. I was hardly ever there (I went out a lot) so I don’t see how I could’ve possibly done anything wrong. However, they moved their TV into their bedroom so only THEY could watch it. Strange I thought. The worst part was when I stayed home from work sick one day. I woke up and furniture was being moved out of the apartment. I asked what was going on and they said the furniture was being repoted. Then I noticed they were packing their clothes and I was like “okay, what’s going on?”. Apparently they could no longer afford the rent (due to his gambling and her recent job loss) and were trying to move out without letting me know. They just so happened to do it when I called off sick. I let’em have it , believe me. Rent was due in a week and I had no way of paying for it and no one who could be a roommate. I had to break the lease which cost a total of $4,000! I never paid it because I never could and shouldn’t have to so now my credit and rental history is shot to hell. I can’t get another place in my name. Another bizarre twist is one day I went to a concert and and spent the night at a friend’s house. I came back the next day and they had been there to get the rest of their stuff. It was August (in Virginia) and they had turned the heat on and cranked it up to 90 degrees! They also cut off the power cord of THEIR microwave that they had left there and took it with them! I had never done anything to these psychos! How’s that for a worst roommates story? Sad but true people.
pixieonacid
wrote on March 6 2009 @ 08:51 pm: [report]
Omg, i think me nd my best friend have been d unluckiest ppl ever as far as bad room mates go. we started college dis yr nd our 1st roomie was an over-powering gay guy who trashed our college work, was a total bitch 2 us nd got he’s beautician frinds 2 threatin 2 beat us up!
Next was a total dry balls who was doin dentistry, admittadly he was d best f a bad bunch!
Now we live wid 6 uptight bitches, who hate us cos we’r a bit alternative. They trash up d house most nites wen 2 cum bac, dayr friends come n2 my room while i’m asleep nd most recently day tried 2 get us kickd out by complainin us 2 d landlord cos we had 1 wild party 2 get bac at dem!!!! DRAMA
eden
wrote on March 7 2009 @ 10:35 pm: [report]
My housemates like Cascada. I win.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on March 7 2009 @ 10:40 pm: [report]
@eden:
I like female vocal trance artists. So shove off.
IrinaGonzalez
wrote on March 9 2009 @ 11:49 am: [report]
I had some pretty bad roommates throughout my life.. Freshman year of college there was the art student who by the end of the year had turned our living room into her personal art studio. Sophomore year there was the Asian girl from Hawaii, who thought it was appropriate to sleep from 8pm-midnight, wake up at midnight and talk to her boyfriend until 4am, as well as threaten me whenever I asked her to switch her schedule (um, I need some SLEEP!) or turned off the main lights (she had a desk lamp, for god’s sake!). After that, I was blessed for a year with the greatest roommate ever. We still call each other Roomate of Life. But, unfortunately, she moved to London and I got stuck with a friend of a friend of a friend who turned out to be an introverted quasi-psycho with dependency issues (her bf was over a bit too much..).
And then finally last year I lived with a good friend.. who turned out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. She was blonde, skinny, and big boobed (my polar opposite, basically) and lots of fun. As long as you were only having fun with HER. The minute I started dating my now-boyfriend, she went crazy, demanding we set up rules for how often he’s over (only 1 night during the week and 1 night on the weekends. and we both couldn’t have boys over on the same night because THE UNIVERSE WOULD EXPLODE). She also became weirdly possessive of my cat and tried to threaten and embarass me. Her biggest offense was calling me fat.
And no, I wans’t offended.
Still, dirtyboots, you definitely WIN! omg..
scb197
wrote on March 9 2009 @ 12:46 pm: [report]
I had a roommate who was supremely annoying. She put an 11:30 curfew on me during the week, or would deadbolt me out, and a 1:30 curfew during the weekend. This is Manhattan. Please. Her boyfriend was a dick and thought he owned her, always yelling, if he thought anything she did was wrong. No overnight guests, calling if I was a little late. Shoulda broken the lease.
At Chelle…sorry, but it’s your own damn fault you didn’t pay the 4K. That’s why you find SUBLETS! But the rest of the story sucks.
And dirtyboots…still takes the cake.
becktasm
wrote on March 9 2009 @ 05:03 pm: [report]
@eden: @CheeeeEEEEse:
I love Cascada, my best friend loves Cascada, my mom loves Cascada, and my (straight, but undeniably strange) twin brother loves Cascada. My boyfriend’s not so big of a fan, but I make him listen to her every morning while I make him breakfast regardless. Maybe I’M the worst roommate ever?
My world has come crashing down. Oh well- EVERY TIME WE TOUCH, I GET THIS FEELING, AND EVERY TIME WE KISS, I REACH FOR THE SKYYYYYY
vanya
wrote on March 9 2009 @ 09:39 pm: [report]
Oh, dirtyboots, that is horrid! I thought my freshman year college roommate who drank so much she would pass out and then urinate and defecate all over herself while unconscious was bad. I found someone else for the 2nd semester, thankfully.
wildwildwest
wrote on March 10 2009 @ 11:20 am: [report]
This is my current situation. VERY nice girl, but absolutely disguting. I call her Pigpen, or just The Pen for short.
The Pen has never bought toilet paper or any other community product in the year she has lived there, so as an experiment, I let it run out, bought some of my own and have been squirreling it away in my closet. Did the same with the paper towels. I stayed at my boyfriend’s house for the next three days and came home to see what she had done to remedy the situation. Did she break down and actually go across the street to the neighborhood market (which is better equipped than some countries I’ve been to) and spend her whopping two dollars? Oh no, she was using kitchen dish towels and putting them on the ledge next to the toilet. When she realized I saw this, she hurriedly stuffed them in her laundry basket. Thn next morning when I woke up, my bathroom reeked worse than the litter box because of her hamper. Absolutely foul and disgusting. My mother’s response - she is resourceful but man is she unhygenic!
Chelle
wrote on March 10 2009 @ 05:31 pm: [report]
@scb197- No, it is not my fault I don’t make enough money to pull $4,000 out of my ass. There is such a thing as being poor, you know. Also, you must have missed the part where I wrote that rent was due in a week. It was too short notice to sublet. Believe me, I would have.
t-majestic
wrote on March 11 2009 @ 05:46 pm: [report]
Can’t beat dirtyboots, but still have had some annoying ones, like the one who had loud phone sex at night. What is it with college roommates, by the way? I swear colleges abuse those questionnaires you have to fill out freshman year- they use them to find the people least likely to get along and see what happens. I need my sleep so my freshman year roommate never slept. I’m very shy and down-to-earth with a slightly wacky style, so she had to be insanely preppy and fake. She had this ribbon fetish (one to match every outfit) and decorated everything in pink, while I preferred slightly more quirky accessories (giant rubber ducky, big sun-and-moon throw over the couch which she hated, etc). I listen to rock/alternative, so she listened to Frank Sinatra. Seriously nothing fit. What were they thinking?! Sadists…