Crushing, Vice-Style
Posted by: Jessica Wakeman
Filed in:
sex
8:30AM, Wednesday June 3rd 2009
Everyone thinks I’m an a-hole right now. Not because I’m trying to get everybody at Grandpa’s funeral to play Rock Band. No, I’m in love—and I can’t stop talking about it.
Butterflies in my stomach, stars in my eyes, I arrive at the office every morning with a new story about something adorable he’s done. We made waffles! We said the L-word! We talked about baby names! I told one of my co-workers about the love note he penned and five seconds in, she had stopped listening.
So I guffawed when I read Vice‘s “Guide To Being Totally Crushed Out”, an alphabetized list of things we do when we’ve got a crush, from “Only Calling To Hear His Voice And Then Hanging Up,” to “Jerking Off About Her.”
And, of course, “Telling Everyone In The World”...
Okay, I think mooning about an obsessive crush from afar is a lot different from the kind of mooning you do when you’re in love…but honestly, it probably isn’t any less obnoxious to your friends. Check out the rest of the hilarious list here.TELLING EVERYONE IN THE WORLD
This is f**king stupid, but you do it anyway. Sometimes the obsession is too out-of-control, and once you’ve told one person you’re not really great friends with, you may as well tell them all. This might work because he likes you too and how would he have known if people hadn’t told him? It also may blow up in your face, because (and I know this is weird) sometimes a crush is best from afar and you don’t want it to be true. Like catching a lightning bug in a jar. Wait a minute, lightning bugs are cool to look at in a jar.
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newmakcity
wrote on June 3 2009 @ 10:28 am: [report]
You know what, keep telling people. I’m never the one in your position but when I know my friends are in the smitten/honeymoon stage, I constantly ask them to tell me more. Why should they be made to feel that their excitement is something to be ashamed of? I never really understood why being gushed to bothers some people. I think it’s great to see and listen to someone who is so happy. I prefer gushing to griping any day of the week. The day-to-day is miserable enough that being around someone preoccupied with what (or who) makes them happy is a welcome change.
vanillalatte
wrote on June 3 2009 @ 01:38 pm: [report]
i liked the feeling of being in crush. then suddenly now now i’m just crushed.
Bad Breakup
wrote on June 3 2009 @ 01:43 pm: [report]
I think it’s important to consider who you’re gushing to. See, if I’m happy or in a good relationship, then by all means, blab away, and I’ll be nothing but happy for you. However, if I just got dumped, or are feeling miserable about things in general, your endless rant on “how cute it is when he farts” is going to do nothing but annoy the hell out of me, and probably make me talk to you less until I’m in a better place.