On The Prowl: The Vag-Blocker

Guys always complain about other guys who crash their party when it looks like a lady is headed for a dance in their pants, but we girls have plenty to boo-hoo about too. Just last weekend, I got blocked by my gay BFF. He helped me coordinate my outfit; then, he totally cramped my style. While he makes for a fun partner in crime, he looks like he’s my boyfriend when we’re out on the town. I love his company, but I never should have asked him to be my escort when I went to a bar to meet up with my crush. My wing woman was already booked with a date of her own, and my replacement totally backfired. While my gaydar is so precise I could probably sell my honing skills to the military, the object of my desires clearly didn’t realize I was rollin’ with a dude who was not interested in my tunnel of love. The mere presence of another guy killed my chances. If only I’d made my bestie wear a T-shirt that read: “DON’T WORRY: I’M GAY.” Now that I’ve learned my lesson, I hope this tale of woe will be a warning to all women: Don’t let a guy who won’t go downtown on you stop your flow of oncoming traffic.