The Undie Conundrum: Ditch The Boyfriend, Keep The Lingerie?
Posted by: Maridel
Filed in:
sex
9:00AM, Thursday September 11th 2008
I only think about my underwear in the millisecond when I yank them out of my dresser drawer in the morning. (Thong or no? Is this going to ride up at the gym?) My bra never matches my out-of-season holiday panties or my cotton boy shorts with a French poodle printed on the butt saying, “Ooh la la!” But whenever I’m in a serious relationship, I give painstaking consideration to my unmentionables. I’ve gotten on a plane wearing an elaborate black-and-pink lace getup under a T-shirt and jeans to meet my boyfriend, and shown up at his doorstep wearing nothing underneath a dress.
Recently, as I frantically dug through my underwear drawer before heading out for a date, I realized that most of the men I’ve slept with have seen me in the same chocolate-brown lace boy shorts. They were a gift from my first boyfriend, Rob, and I’ve had a penchant for the cheeky cut ever since. Even as I’ve swapped boyfriends, I’ve never gotten rid of the lingerie I’ve put on for them. Most items still look brand spanking new—it’s not like I’ve worn them longer than five minutes, anyway. But I wonder how guys would feel if they knew they weren’t the first to see me in a certain piece of lingerie? It certainly makes me squirm.
Rob wanted me to wear trashy, over-the-top items with strategic cutouts. I laughed and told him that if he wanted to buy me a bra that didn’t cover, well, anything, I’d wear it. My personal choice stays within the realm of girly, lacy underthings. I bought a tasteful black teddy to celebrate Valentine’s Day with him and then a few years later, I surprised my new boyfriend, Sam, with the same teddy in a hotel room in London. Sam is the jealous type, so I let him assume that I bought the lingerie especially for our trip.
As the years have gone by, I’ve ditched the sillier pieces—anything with too much pink, countless ribbons, or an abundance of ruffles gets thrown into the trash. But I still have the brown boy shorts, the black teddy and a few other standbys. That morning before my date, the old stuff stayed in the back of my drawer. I have newer things that are sleeker and less frothy, but still sexy. Not like it mattered to the new guy—he didn’t really care for gift-wrap. After he took one look at me in my skivvies, they were off in a flash.
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Lynn
wrote on September 11 2008 @ 10:24 am: [report]
I’ve thought about this a lot. I’m an obsessive lingerie addict and I certainly don’t want (and can’t afford) to replace my collection every time a new guy comes along.
But I think it’s like clothes. I have that one special dress that I wore on a special date to a sushi restaurant with my ex boyfriend. He loved it, thought it was hot, and it made the night more special that we both thought I was pretty. But just because he’s gone, I’m not getting rid of a perfectly good and attractive dress. I’ll wear it on another fancy date and if that guy wants to believe that I put in all that effort in just for him, I’ll let him believe it. But if he asks, I’m not going to lie.
That all being said, there are certain pieces I don’t wear after a relationship is over. Just like I retired my favorite pink-striped shirtdress after I broke up with the ex who loved it on me and which I wore on our date the first day we slept together, there are certain pieces that hold too much sentimental value and I don’t want to muddy them up between guys. I still have the dress, but it’s in my attic with other relationship momentos. Every time I see the dress, I remember so much about our relationship.
But in general, my lingerie has seen a couple different guys and I’m OK with that! If someone is jealous that I’ve worn it before, I think it’s more a jealousy of my having sex with someone before. And it’s not like THAT’s a secret.
Leigh Raines
wrote on September 11 2008 @ 12:20 pm: [report]
great article! definitely something i’ve thought about. by the way, as long as the new bf doesn’t know the ex bf and they won’t be gossiping about their latest conquests, i think you’re safe.
Brandon
wrote on September 12 2008 @ 08:22 am: [report]
Great article- I happened on it by pure incident, and I think I’m going to keep tabs. GUY PERSPECTIVE: we really don’t think about who you bought it, wore it, took it off, or modelled it for- as long as it’s for us at that moment. But please feel free to leave those details out, because we really don’t want to know. Unless it’s got “Marv” stitched on the bottom- the lacy boyshorts will be removed promptly anway! LOL
mikey
wrote on September 13 2008 @ 04:26 am: [report]
I agree with Brandon, I couldn’t give a toss about who you bought the undies or bra for or who bought them for you. As long as you look hot in them, that’s all that matters anyway… Right?
AJ
wrote on September 17 2008 @ 06:57 am: [report]
I’ve kept all of my little lingerie outfits, but I haven’t had the op to reuse any of them yet. I feel like I have a few outfits though that I would forever associate with the guy I wore them with. I would probably try to wear that little bo peep outfit again and remember how much better the sex was the first time.
hawkeyecutie
wrote on January 15 2009 @ 08:41 pm: [report]
Great article! I have just recently started dating again after my first serious relationship. After it ended all my sweet little nothings went into a shoe box in the closet.I’ve been debating whether or not it would be wrong to bring them back into circulation if someone new pops up. Thanks for the insight. I feels good to know that I’m not the only one who feels it is a waste to throw it out if it makes me feel like a sex goddess when I wear it.