The Top 10 Things You Learn When You’re Heartbroken

shelleatualive
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 12:32 pm: [report]

My additions:
-What time local the bars open
-How nice it is to have a pet
-Which of your girlfriends isn’t afraid to tell you you’re being a baby, take you shopping for something slutty and party with for you as long as you need her to

Fizzy
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 12:53 pm: [report]

8->or red hair, as the case my be…

Little Lamb
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 01:00 pm: [report]

How much weight you can GAIN in three weeks.

hiyahails
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 01:09 pm: [report]

This is scarily true, and made me smile remembering how amazing it felt to learn the last one!

cattgirl813
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 01:17 pm: [report]

How much inner strength you have.  It takes a lot of guts to move on after a heartbreak and get back into life without becoming strung out on a diet of Oreos and Jamocha Almond Fudge while watching WeTV or an old Bette Davis movie and petting your cat.  Not that I’ve ever done that of course….

Tigerlilly
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 02:08 pm: [report]

Or how a relatively sane, educated person can be reduced to drive-by’s, spying, and/or stalking (I’m talking about the non-dangerous type of course). Not that I would know . . . but my sister’s best friend’s cousin told me. 

Alex V
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 02:47 pm: [report]

@ Cattgirl813:
“a diet of Oreos and Jamocha Almond Fudge”

that’s not necessarily a bad thing…

Sara.B
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 03:20 pm: [report]

How about the ones I haven’t learned. Like telling my friends what a #@$h$%@ he is, but when they do the same in return, I get all defensive…

lovely_j
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 03:41 pm: [report]

Your cell phone has suddenly become your worst enemy and you want to throw it into the street and scream each and every minute it doesn’t ring with him begging for you to come back.

Sweet Andrea
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 05:02 pm: [report]

You can also learn how much of a stalker are you.

Sofjna
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 06:58 pm: [report]

I learned numbers 5 and 9 all too well; but number 10 is absolutly the best.  I also learned how strong I can be and that I can be the bigger person, even when I would have to see him at work everyday.

Desani
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 07:04 pm: [report]

@lovely_j….oh so true. i am so glad i’m not the only one who feels this way. i actually did do that :/

Mercedy103
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 08:46 pm: [report]

Aw, I love this list. It made me smile.  I do have to agree with Little Lamb…how much weight you can gain in 3 weeks. And yes..retail therapy. I think after I buy another handbag I’ll be all set to try for #10!

Simcha
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 09:36 pm: [report]

Sooooo true. Although instead of chocolate cake, I’ve been going for girl scout cookies….mmm.

Tamara
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 09:38 pm: [report]

I agree with a lot of those, how about never realizing how much everything can remind you of something you two did together, or things that remind you of that person? Or how bitter you get towards love? My sister in law made me watch Snapped with her, at first I’d be griping and by the end I’d kind of just sit back and think, wow I’ve never been there but ok. It kind of put things into perspective, I wasn’t crazy, I was nursing a broken heart.

Backliteyes
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 09:41 pm: [report]

I think the most important thing you learn, from your first heartbreak especially, is that it WILL get better.

retro chic
wrote on April 29 2009 @ 10:48 pm: [report]

In general, what I learned is that “Learning Experiences” are highly overrated, and not all that comforting IRL. Like they say, what doesn’t kill you, makes you… wish it had (naw). But, chocolate, a bucket of paint, long drives, laughter, and sending the bf’s contact info into cyber-oblivion goes a long way, too.
:D

spanishdoll
wrote on April 30 2009 @ 12:04 am: [report]

I learned how good I looked with dark brown hair after being a blond for 21 years.

And, opposite of most people, i found out how little food one person can survive on per day.

dream316
wrote on April 30 2009 @ 01:29 am: [report]

Who needs an excuse to eat cake for breakfast?

brandyalexander
wrote on April 30 2009 @ 07:59 am: [report]

Spanish Doll, me too!  You also learn how much your friends love you, and who your real friends are.

CigarPlayer
wrote on April 30 2009 @ 08:59 am: [report]

Hey! This is an excellent article and guys feel pain too :o) Peace!

Naneenya
wrote on April 30 2009 @ 09:18 am: [report]

I agree with Tamara -

I watch “Snapped” and though I’ve never been in some of those situations… I can sit there and think, “Hey, I get it.”

cattgirl813
wrote on April 30 2009 @ 09:38 am: [report]

@Alex V: That meal has the four essential food groups: Sugar, Cream, Chocolate, and Coffee.  What else could anyone want?

magz
wrote on April 30 2009 @ 11:49 am: [report]

@Sofjna Still trying to figure out how to be the bigger person without compromising my own legitimate feelings of how he’s a jerk. But everyone in the office thinks he’s wonderful.

Tamara
wrote on April 30 2009 @ 04:53 pm: [report]

@Naneenya it definitely helped me realize I wasn’t crazy just heartbroken. One thing that I hate when going through a break up is when friends begin ex bashing, it’s really uncomfortable and I also hate those observations people make but only tell you when you’ve broken up. There’s no real way for anyone that wasn’t in the relationship to truly know what happened and unless it’s obvious (an ongoing abusive relationship), no one has the right to weigh in their “expert’ opinion. That’s been a large annoyance during this break up I’m getting over now.

CigarPlayer
wrote on April 30 2009 @ 08:55 pm: [report]

@Tamara I hear ya. Most friends want to add their own opinions instead of just being a good listener. Sometimes its just nice to vent and have your friends agree even if they don’t agree. Its called “Unconditional Friendship”. Peace.

chickadee
wrote on April 30 2009 @ 11:41 pm: [report]

this is so true-as I’m going thru this now…And the post on the cell phone- made me laugh b/c I totally feel like that as well…  Breakups suck… Thank goodness for true friends (and chocolate chip cookies!)

shan1221
wrote on May 1 2009 @ 10:43 am: [report]

How there is someone out there so much better that you deserve…

JaqAttack
wrote on May 1 2009 @ 02:47 pm: [report]

I learned how many punches it takes to get to the center of a pillow….
not to mention you suddenly realize why people might want to try primal scream therapy

sportzriter13
wrote on May 2 2009 @ 10:49 am: [report]

you also learn
-how it feels to be haunted by memories, and how easily flashbacks can be triggered
-how many flavors of chocolate and Ben and Jerry’s your cupboard/fridge will hold
-why oversized sunglasses are a more then just a fashion statement
-how cathartic it is to scream at those annoying Zales commercials
-how to write a really good, gut and heart twisting rant
-how strong you and your heart really are
and
-be careful what you wish for, you may get it (even if it’s a friends with benefits package one year after the actual relationship) and realize he wasn’t the guy you remembered/missed

Tamara
wrote on May 2 2009 @ 11:40 am: [report]

@sportzriter13 I get the memories, I hate those especially when I’m having a good day and haven’t thought about him in awhile, and then it hits. It’s annoying. I really wish there was a machine from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I’d use it in a heartbeat.

Another fun one; No matter how much you try and take the high road you hope your ex is miserable, or something much worse depending on how bad the break up was.

sportzriter13
wrote on May 2 2009 @ 12:17 pm: [report]

@tamara I used to be like that after one tough breakup but now the song “Don’t Stop Believin’” just makes me grin/chuckle, and wonder how he’s doing…however, it took a very long time for me to get to that point, and realize we were great lovers but better friends.
For me it became a matter of managing how I think of him vs. just not thinking about him at all. It’s kinda hard to forget a guy who serenades you with Journey. Then again, that’s probably why I used to carry my sansa with me all the time.

Tamara
wrote on May 3 2009 @ 09:04 pm: [report]

Journey? That’s hilarious. My first ex and I are great friends, but this ex and I have a long, long way to go before we’ll be anything. For now we’re not speaking, but life goes on. I hope one day he’ll grow up, for now I’m taking a page from his book and being all about me.

One Big Voice
wrote on May 5 2009 @ 11:21 am: [report]

You learn that the song “I Will Survive” (CAKE version,natch), when played repeatedly, will make you feel better. Bonus points for singing (sobbing) along.

“And so you thought you’d just drop by
And you expect me to be free
But now I’m saving all my loving
For someone who’s loving me”

Brilliant.

Humble Bee
wrote on May 5 2009 @ 11:40 am: [report]

One Big Voice!
I effing love that song! and yes. Its my go to song when I feel like getting over some sucker.

One Big Voice
wrote on May 6 2009 @ 12:25 pm: [report]

@Humble Bee - Here’s hoping neither one of us has to “use” that song again. I will still listen to it for enjoyment, though.