The New Must-Have Summer Accessory for Guys: Potbellies?

*sam*
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 09:11 am: [report]

I’ve always had a weak spot for the bigger guys. not-so-much a pot belly per se, but def. larger. I mean, besides, who wants to cuddle up next to rock hard abs anyway?? (they don’t make for very comfy pillows).

likeOMGkbye
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 09:43 am: [report]

I wouldn’t say I love a potbelly, but I understand that as people get older they gain weight, and I by no means expect my man to be in male model shape. I also expect people to understand this about me as well, and that no I will never be the weight I was in high school. An actual pot belly though? ehh I don’t think I could deal with that on my 25 year old boyfriend, maybe when he’s getting crotchety and old after we’ve been married for 30 years

DancerNinja
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 09:46 am: [report]

I may be the minority here, but I’ve been too health conscience and competitively athletic to find a skinny guy with a gut to be attractive. Just looks soft and lazy.

Amelia13
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 09:56 am: [report]

As long as my guy is healthy I don’t care if he has rock-hard abs or not. He feels the same way about me. My husband and I exercise together, whether it is going to the gym, playing a sport, or going for a long walk. We have gotten off our schedule a bit because of summer, but as soon as school starts back up we are back on track.

I must say though, I do not enjoy seeing a belly sticking out under any circumstances. I don’t care who you are or what kind of belly you are rocking.

Does the picture above remind anyone else of Tim Allen in “The Santa Clause”.

chipclip
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 10:56 am: [report]

Um no?  I’m the only one who finds it insane that this is okay somehow???  I’m not a bastion of athleticism or anything, but it’s unacceptable for my man (or any man) to be held to a different (read: lower) standard than me.  I don’t require muscles and washboard abs, but I do require that he care how he looks and nobody should be showing off their unhealthiness.  A potbelly is not ‘big boned’ or ‘I was born with these genes.’  It’s laziness and gross!

canadiancutie
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 11:00 am: [report]

I just began seeing a guy who is rocking a bit of a potbelly. This in spite of logging time at the gym and being almost 6’2. I have to be honest - this is NOT my usual type. I keep my stomach trim and flat and curvy at the sides through a militant daily crunch routine, and I would kind of prefer it if my dude had a flat stomach as well. But the point is, it DOESN’T matter. I’ve dated guys with the washboard belly who were devoid of the ingredients from which a quality relationship is made. So maybe the appeal of the potbelly this summer is the sweet guys behind them?

Just a thought.

canadiancutie
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 11:01 am: [report]

Hmmm… upon further thought (and reading the comment about mine), I guess a pooch is tolerable, like if his tummy sticks out a bit, but an actual huge potbelly? Not so much. It does kind of seem lazy & unhealthy.

FloraPoste
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 11:28 am: [report]

I find super hard bodied guys scary. I’ve got a little muffin top, so I like a LITTLE padding on my guy, too.  As long as he wears baggy shirts (I don’t show off my muffin top, so this is fair), it’s our little secret. We’re both still within our BMIs and we both stay fit and eat right. What’s the big deal?  Muffin top happens with age.  And it makes cuddling more fun.

nicefrenchgurl
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 01:01 pm: [report]

well i discovered bigger guys while moving to canada, and they are much more attractive to ur average french guy (most are metro north africans anyway, not my type)
ive put a lot of weight on (am a size 16) following a disabling accident, but i eat sensibly and healthily, dont drink, dont smoke
i love men with extra padding, but who follow my healthy habits. round and active ok, couch potato no way
i agree with most of the posts. if i want someone who will put up with my body, its only fair i dont expect him to be top gear. anyway love comes in all forms, doesnt it?

wonderfultonight
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 01:29 pm: [report]

I like a man who is in pretty good shape and takes care of himself diet-wise - healthwise, but he doesn’t have to have rock hard abs. But for the potbelly, yeah - about the same time guys give up ogling the shapely women and stop going to strip clubs!

Shriekback68
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 02:33 pm: [report]

There goes my 20 years of keeping in shape! Talk about sending mixed signals to us men: be sexy! no, no…be fat! WTF???

Sorry, but if someone thinks having a pot belly is “sexy,” I find that a bit disturbing. Never mind the eventual health issues, it just looks like the guy is a lazy slob.

While I personally like my women curvy, I would never say that I prefer them to be fat (which is what a potbelly indicates). A person who is in shape is telling you they care about themselves. And a person who cares about themselves is a person worthy of knowing. IMO, of course.

feinicstine
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 02:53 pm: [report]

No.  No pot bellies.  Gross.

canadiancutie
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 03:01 pm: [report]

Rhys Ifans is rocking a pretty bad potbelly. And he nailed Sienna Miller. Just sayin’.

Shriekback68
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 03:29 pm: [report]

Sienna has no taste.

_jsw_
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 03:30 pm: [report]

@Shriekback68: I guess I’m a little jealous that you know that. First hand?

melissaann
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 03:36 pm: [report]

Why is it that as the smart, educated women of the world we are, we always complain about Hollywood’s impossible ideal standard of beauty, yet there is an article on our website holding men to the same standard? We all know that real women don’t look like the ones in magazines. And guess what! MEN DON’T EITHER. If this were an article on a men’s website commentating about men dating less than thin women, we would be appalled. And we should be at this also.

_jsw_
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 03:43 pm: [report]

@melissaann: Agreed, in general, but there is a difference between just not being a gym rat and having a big pot belly. It takes effort and discipline for most of us to get and keep a toned physique, but almost all of us can avoid a giant gut with just the most rudimentary steps. I’m never going to be confused for a physical trainer, and I have more of a keg than a six-pack, but I’m able to keep myself away from true pot belly status by simply cutting back on treats and increasing walks and so on when I notice the pants getting tighter. And I’ve got terrible willpower, so I’m pretty sure almost anyone could do it.

canadiancutie
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 04:10 pm: [report]

_jsw_, I completely agree with everything you said. Maybe you’ll never have an athlete’s body, but there is simply no reason for a massive potbelly, shy of total and unrestrained sedentariness (is that a word?

Let_Love_Rule
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 08:45 pm: [report]

I’m with dancer ninja and the rest of you. I work hard (well, not too hard) to stay in shape, and I will grant a person a 15-ish pound ‘margin,’ but more than that I’m not sexually attracted anymore. I can’t help it. I can love someone for who they are, but sex will go out the window, as the thought of a huge belly against me in bed is odious. I’m actually in this situation now, unfortunately. I love my bf dearly, but haven’t slept with him in 3 months. He was in great shape when we met, but he looks totally different now. I wish I could feel differently, but I just can’t.

Coral
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 10:56 pm: [report]

I agree with those of you who dislike a potbelly because it’s not like I’m expecting a guy to have six-pack abs, but it takes a lot of work (or lack thereof) to get a potbelly in the first place. Or maybe it’s just too much beer.

But, I don’t like the picture in the article. I hate anyone wearing a shirt that shows off the midriff or stomach in any way. I don’t care if you have a super flat stomach or a huge stomach. I think it looks distasteful on everyone, no matter how young you are.

Shriekback68
wrote on August 16 2009 @ 12:06 am: [report]

Let Love Rule: you’re completely justified in this. People change for all sorts of reasons, but big weight gain is indicative of something greater than just eating too much and not exercising enough. Something else is going on, and you sense it. If you love yourself and love your partner, you’ll want to keep yourself in shape both mentally and physically. When these things are allowed to lag, then your partner is justified in feeling a bit let down.

melissaann
wrote on August 16 2009 @ 12:36 am: [report]

No one is beautiful forever. Looks fade. Some of you guys are going to be awfully disappointed when your hot boyfriends turn into husbands and they get old, their hair falls out, and they get kinda fat. I feel sorry for someone who stays with a boyfriend they cant sleep with NOW, because guess what: its all downhill from here. I am not saying unhealthiness is inexcusable. My man has a strong heart and lungs because he goes to the gym four times a week because I drag him there. But his coca cola belly isn’t going anywhere. So you guys better starting sleeping with people for beautiful minds, because looks are temporary.

canadiancutie
wrote on August 16 2009 @ 12:38 am: [report]

Coral, I just love midriff-baring tops. Some people like to show thigh. I’m not saying that’s distasteful, it’s just not my thing. I prefer to show stomach. I don’t think a stomach is inherent sexual in the way that an ass hanging out in my face is. But I’m not offended by your comment. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Coral
wrote on August 16 2009 @ 12:39 am: [report]

@melissaann: Well, I believe personality ALWAYS outweighs looks. Looks definitely do fade. But I also want someone that cares enough about himself and me to at least take care of himself. It’s good for self-esteem and confidence.

Coral
wrote on August 16 2009 @ 12:42 am: [report]

@canadiancutie: True, although I also prefer when people don’t show too much of their thighs. Some of my friends pester me why I won’t wear a midriff baring shirt, because my stomach is really flat, but it’s just not my cup of tea.

Shriekback68
wrote on August 16 2009 @ 01:44 am: [report]

melissann: yes, looks DO fade. BUT… you can still stay in shape, regardless of your age. Too many people use aging as excuse to “let themselves go.” I see it all the time with both men and women my age and it simply baffles me. They have a couple kids and decide that gaining fifty pounds is just fine. Well, it isn’t. It’s a huge change, just as a major personality change would be a huge change. Aging is an excuse.

bumbler
wrote on August 16 2009 @ 07:19 am: [report]

There is no reason to assume that a person with a small pot belly is unhealthy.  People gain weight differently, women tend to gain it through their hips and thighs, men in their stomach.  Certain men with any amount of body fat will end up having a small pooch on their belly because that is where they gain weight.  Now before anyone jumps on me about my weight or my husband’s, I’m 5’7 113 lbs and he’s 6’3 185.  We’re both extremely slender and work out a fair deal but I would never ever stop loving him based on physical appearance.  If he gained an excessive amount of weight that was jeopardizing his health I would talk to him and do everything to help him stay healthy but if he puts on 15 lbs (actually healthier for his height) and some of it goes to his stomach I’m not going to complain. 

This is disturbing for me, the majority of women here believe that beauty comes in all sizes and the size-ist attitude of the fashion world is disgusting and degrading to women’s self esteem.  See the JC Penney article.  But we’ll have a field day with men who have different body shapes?  No thank you.

leyann316
wrote on August 16 2009 @ 09:49 am: [report]

Having a potbelly isn’t cute buy My guys has a little one and I still think he looks great.

Coral
wrote on August 16 2009 @ 11:16 am: [report]

Hmm am I the only one who is reminded of Pul Fiction? I forget the character’s name but one of the women in it who is dating the boxer, played by Bruce Willis talks about how she wants a potbelly. She goes on about for awhile and how they’re cute and such. I just thought it was kind of funny because that movie was made in 1994, but now it seems that potbellies have some sort of following.

Shasta
wrote on August 16 2009 @ 12:51 pm: [report]

Gym Rats and the guys addicted to every tip in Men’s Health are way too metrosexual for me.  It’s important to stay in shape, but the six-pack obsession really is prissy.

It’s like I’m dating another girl!

wonderfultonight
wrote on August 16 2009 @ 01:17 pm: [report]

It’s true that looks fade and some people, both men and women, tend to gain weight as they age and genetics do play some part in this. I don’t think the article was about that. It was ‘do you find this attractive/sexy’ Hopefully, most people would not find a few pounds a reason to stop loving someone they had been married to or in a relationship with for several years. 

But a potbelly - or beer belly, as my Mom calls it - is neither healthy nor attractive when it looks like the guy in the picture. And if he thinks he looks “sexy” as he shows it off with a bare midriff? Not in the least. He has a host of health issues in store for the future if he doesn’t lose a good part of it. Good diet and some exercise is more important than going to the gym 5 days a week to muscle up. Even small changes in these areas can do a lot of good.

I do agree that the impossible standards to which the celebrities aspire is unrealistic and potentially as dangerous. Starving oneself to get that under 100 lb. anorexic, boney look to appear *glamourous* is crazy. A woman should look like a woman, not a boy. JMO

ARealGuy4Ever
wrote on August 16 2009 @ 02:16 pm: [report]

I look for someone whose amount of effort matches mine. I am careful about what I eat, but not fanatic. I work out 2-4 times a week as my schedule allows. My abs are flat/firm but covered with a layer of padding that I’m just not willing to kill myself to get rid of.

As a result I am more then pleased if a gal has a flat-ish belly and a tight-ish bottom. I like gals with a feminine figure and you can’t get that if you have low body fat and rippling muscles. If a gal has a ripped body I respect her greatly for her drive and commitment, but I really have no desire to get her naked (I dated a professional athlete for 6 months so my preference is based on experience). I want her on my team but not so much in my pants =)

A pot belly is a sign of inactivity. If you are a sedentary gal, a pot belly on a guy could be a sign you have compatible interests. If you have a tone bod then odds are you are going to want to get out and do more then your pot bellied guy and it will feel like your dragging him everywhere.

Frederica Bimble
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 05:52 am: [report]

Shriekback68:  I agree.  I look after my body and treat it like a machine. I like what I see when I look in the mirror and I find a body which is “fit” and well kept, attractive as well. 

melissaann:  Who are you trying to convince?  No one else HAS to get used to any way of thinking but what comes from inside of ourselves.  There is nothing wrong with finding a healthy body attractive.  Just because someone has good qualities on the inside doesn’t make them ugly or going to seed on the outside.  It seems to be a common assumption that there is something “wrong” with expecting your partner to look good.  There is nothing wrong with it at all.  There are plenty of fat, smoking, drinking, drug-taking slobs out there who have rotten attitudes as there are plenty of well-kept, healthy, mentally balanced, traditionally attractive people on the other hand.  Telling others that any of us have to be a certain way will only make YOU miserable.  It seems to me that you are trying a bit of the “misery loves company” and since you don’t think it’s ok to go out with someone who has a great body, then the rest of us have to live our lives the same way.  You’ll only damage yourself by being untrue to your own desires.

nicefrenchgurl
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 06:52 am: [report]

@shriekback68
A person who is in shape is telling you they care about themselves. And a person who cares about themselves is a person worthy of knowing. IMO, of course. ?????
so as a disabled person after a crash which was not MY fault, im not worthy???? personally, i walk as often as i can despite back injuries, eat sensibly, go to beauty salons, etc
this is just utter bull****

@letloverule
maybe ur bf has been seeking COMFORT in food because he was not getting any from you in ur relationship? if you really cared about him, you should have asked him whats wrong, and i guess he loves you more than YOU do for pushing him away for the past 3 months… I personally have ditched YOU long ago

Frederica Bimble
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 07:30 am: [report]

nicefrenchgurl:  You can be disabled and still look after your body.  What’s the problem?

Riley
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 11:39 am: [report]

I’ll never get the rationale that men who work out often are metro sexual or somehow un-dateable.  Some people just need validation for their habits; I could never date anyone that needed me to stop taking care of myself so she could feel better about herself.

I work out often because I like to, great stress reliever when I come home worn-down from work.  I’m far from a narcissist and I don’t care if the woman I’m seeing hits the gym on a regular basis.  She watches her diet, I don’t do that well.

bumble_bee
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 11:41 am: [report]

eeeeew. sorry dad, but the whole potbelly thing for me is deffinately a no no.

makes me think of my father.

not my can of beans, thats for sure.

nicefrenchgurl
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 02:52 pm: [report]

@frederica: thats my point
but if u read my msg, shriek said that if ur big, thus not taking care of urself, ur not worthy. i said: not everyone who is big is a lazy cow; i gained 4 sizes due to medication (head trauma) and now live on raw food in order not to put anymore weight, its the only thing that seems to be working.so when i read such thing, it really hurts

wonderfultonight
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 04:13 pm: [report]

@nicefrenchgirl - you are doing everything you can to overcome both the crash and the meds which caused the weight gain, and I applaud your efforts. You have been dealt a tough hand to play. Living on raw food is not easy no matter how healthy it is. I think you are doing fine. Please try to stay positive and ignore those comments which hurt and drag you down - not easy, I know. This is not your fault at all - you did not just “let yourself go.”

Good luck in your recuperation and your efforts to hold the weight down. I am rooting for your success. Much love your way…......

Let_Love_Rule
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 06:30 pm: [report]

Sorry nicefrenchgirl, but no, I am not responsible for his weight gain. I did not force feed him that fast food or those endless cinnamon rolls. I cook healthy meals and keep the fridge stocked with fruit & veggies from the farmer’s market.

If we have issues between us, he needs to address them with me rather than turn to unhealthy behaviors. Would you defend him if he used drugs or drank instead?

BTW I have been 15 lbs. overweight before. It was my fault, no one else’s. I was not in a car wreck, nor was he, nor are medications a factor, so our situation is not like yours.

Frederica Bimble
wrote on August 18 2009 @ 04:56 am: [report]

nicefrenchgurl:  Shriek’s comments don’t have to hurt you.  We all know that saying someone is “unworthy” because they aren’t [insert random condition / trait / characteristic here] is surreal and reflects more on the person who says the comment and not on anyone else.  Focus on the good in your life - which I am sure there is plenty of it.  Don’t let someone else’s limited thinking be a catalyst for you to feel bad about yourself or your situation.  You are the only one in your head (mind) and sometimes people will come out with things that are flippant and sometimes downright rude but we don’t have to take those things inside of ourselves.  A very wise person once said:  “Choose your battles carefully.”  So, is it worth it to care about what some random person on the web thinks about something they have very little understanding about?  No one is judging you but you and you don’t really do that - it is only the product of others who have convinced you to feel lesser than who you are. 
Try to ignore that particular comment, take a deep breath and go find some quiet and peace and consider what you may want to do with the energy you have saved from not battling the opinion of another, who doesn’t have any bearing on your feelings.
I wish you success and contentment in your life.

slestie
wrote on August 18 2009 @ 01:05 pm: [report]

ohhh, chubby sexy. I’ve been trying to explain this to people for a long time. My current bf is jacked because he has an extremely physical job and a high metabolism. But I love him for the way he is.

And, a disproportionate amount of the time, chubby guys have that beautiful soul you’ve wanted to worship you the whole time.

then again, sometimes they’re well meaning sophomorics that smoke weed and drink all the time

But I digress

JessieNF
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 01:50 pm: [report]

I’m not attracted to men who are curvier than I am. It’s just gender confusion. (Well, also a projecting belly lessens the effective length of the penis by however much the stomach protrudes. Just sayin.’)

stiffinp
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 08:48 am: [report]

I have a few extra pounds I would like to lose. But I don’t consider myself “lazy”. Definately not since I completed a hike in the Adirondacks last weekend. Bagged 3 peaks and walked 20 miles.

Dean Sellers
wrote on September 8 2009 @ 03:44 pm: [report]

Love is not the same as attraction.  I’ve loved many people that I wasn’t attracted to, and been attracted to many people that I didn’t love.  If you love your spouse and they get fat, you’ll probably still love them - however there will reach a point where you won’t be attracted if they keep getting fat.  (Unless you’re wired to like that - and some people seem to be.)

Can a little fat on somebody look OK?  Sure!  I’ve seen some chubby women that I thought were pretty hot.  However, one of the unfair rules of life is that the better shape you’re in, the nicer you get treated.  Attractive people get better jobs, more promotions, and generally people are nicer to them.

My wife used to tell me, “I love you just the way you are.” However, she started acting a heckuva lot nicer to me when I got in shape. The better I looked, the nicer she was.  I don’t think she loved me more - she was just more attracted to me.  I’ve observed the same reaction in myself when she looks better or worse (depending on the week).  When she’s looking particularly good on a certain day, then I seem to feel much more attentive to her!

I didn’t make this up, and it doesn’t seem fair - however I would be a fool to ignore it.