The Girl’s Guide To The World Series (From A Woman Who’s Rekindled Her Love Of Baseball)
Posted by: Erica Maxwell
Filed in:
news
12:00PM, Tuesday October 27th 2009
Last year, when the Phillies won the World Series, I cheered myself hoarse, posed with a police officer for a triumphant picture, and called my mother from the happily delirious mob I joined, beer in hand, to march down Broad Street. It was amazing—I have the Facebook pictures to prove it. And, I easily could have missed it. High school me would have rolled her eyes, channeled “Juno”-level snark, and stayed inside. Here’s how I learned to love the ball game, plus a guide for non-believers.
As a developing child, I loved sports. All of them. My dad bought me Nikes so I could “Be Like Mike” and play on the second grade basketball team. I was a budding defender, great at getting in the way of two-point shots, but terrible at shooting them myself in the moment of truth. No matter though, because it was second grade. I went home, feeling good (because everyone is a winner), to yell at the games on TV and memorize the stats of the new professional women of the WNBA. My mom told me about baseball in Pittsburgh, and what it was like to watch Roberto Clemente and keep a careful score card. At the fifth grade Super Bowl party when Michael Jackson sang “We are the World,” I was the only girl still in the room.
Then, the end of the dream. Middle school. The worst of the worst. Like a John Hughes movie with a denouement three years in delay, the geeks separated from the jocks, seemingly never to relate outside of swirlies again. I was never going to be like Mike—jocks were the worst. Then, baseball went on strike, and that seemingly was the death blow for my sports love. Those wackos wanted more money? Seriously? They were probably the same guys who pantsed Jeff and shoved him into the girls’ locker room. They weren’t getting one iota of sympathy from me. So, I went through all of high school never making it to a single game, hiding in the back benches during the homecoming rallies, and desperately wanting college to start.
Then it came. College: the place where people cared about books and smarts and thinking and not some display of brute physicality and ass-slapping. Hrmph. But that all changed in my junior year when I roomed with Evey. She was smart and cared about books and thinking. We took the town at night, seeing fringe theater shows and musicians, sneaking into the bar that never carded with the killer Long Island Iced Teas, and then staying up some more to watch “Labyrinth.” We totally connected in that instant college way But Evey was a sports fan, a big one who did care about displays of brute physicality and ass-slapping. It was always sports season: baseball, basketball, hockey, football, college teams, European soccer—always something. She pulled me in. Slowly at first, with games on in the background during all-day cramming sessions that came more and more to the foreground as she slowly reacquainted me with their rules (a two-point conversion is like an extra touchdown, switch hitters come out to bat for pitchers in the American league, and that’s Donovan McNabb’s mom in the Campbell’s soup commercials ...) I got sucked back in. When we moved into our first real non-campus apartment and couldn’t afford cable, we marched ourselves and homework to the sports bar and camped out there with equations, drinks, and pretty young men with telephone numbers and a willingness to pick up the tab.
It became easy to be ravenous with the love of the game. I love being swept away into shared joy—I love that Cliff Lee didn’t let anyone get past second base—and I love that I got to join the throng of revelers last year after Philadelphia took the World Series. And, reader, I want you in on my joy. Don’t let yourself be left inside, at home with the windows closed while the world goes crazy for baseball. Here’s the quick and dirty guide:
The World Series: Up to seven games that determine the World Champions of Baseball played with one team from the American League and one from the National (Never mind that it’s called the World Series, and it is really just an American game. Canada hardly counts). This year, the Phillies are the National League Champions (yay!) and the Yankees have clinched the American League. Whichever team takes four games wins. The first game is tomorrow night!
BASEBALL SPEAK:
Innings: The nine divisions the game is (ideally) broken into. Each team takes a turn at bat each inning, and then goes to the outfield for the next one. If the game is a tie at the end of the ninth, it goes into extra innings. There can be a lot of extra innings, and sometimes it is sit-on-your-hands exciting, and sometimes you’ll see the whole stadium dying of boredom waiting for something to finally happen. Anyway, the top of the third would be the first half of the inning, and the bottom of the third is the second half when the batting team switches to defense (goes to the outfield).
Outs: Three outs ends the at-bat portion of the inning, and they happen when a player strikes out (failing to hit three good pitches), the batted ball is caught without hitting the ground, a running player is tagged before reaching the base, or the ball makes it to the baseman before the runner. This is where a lot of that brute physicality comes into play as they slam into each other, falling on the ground together in a pile of tangled limbs.
Pitching: One pitcher doesn’t generally stay in for the whole game (unless he’s doing really well) because they are throwing those balls fast—90 miles an hour or so. He should be throwing the ball into the strike zone—the area over home plate between the batter’s shoulders and knees, but he has three balls (that aren’t in the strike zone) before the batter gets walked to first base on the fourth. The batter is also walked if the pitcher hits him with one of those crazy-fast balls.
If you’re gonna watch the series, it is also really important to remember that Cole Hamels is extremely hot. Just wait. Keeping all this in mind, sit back, relax, and yell yourself hoarse.
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sklut
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:13 am: [report]
Baseball is the easiest sport to follow and I love it. I love to play it more than watch it. I also love football and some how after YEARS of watching it there are still some things that I can’t understand or follow. Why does it have to be so complicated?
Humble Bee
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:22 am: [report]
oh yesss! Hamels is so sexy, The stupid yanks beat my Angels, so I’m rooting for the Phillies ALL the way. I tried to explain all of this to my friend during a dodger game, she was like “How do you know all this?... my god its so much to remember” lol. If you can remember who Jenifer Aniston is dating, you can rember all of this too. Great post! I love teaching girls this, they are not all stupid!
abbylyn
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:26 am: [report]
Just please tell me you weren’t one of the “revelers” shooting fireworks off horizontally right over people’s heads. Or flipping cars. Or setting live trees on fires. Or breaking windows and looting stores. Those were the people that made me scurry back inside my house after the Phillies won the WS last year.
goofyjj
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:34 am: [report]
I hate when people take “celebrating” too far. but those are the same people that will vandalize for any reason
Well since my White Sox aren’t in the Series this year I’m rooting for the Phillies to take it all AGAIN….
(yah Cole is pretty cute!)
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:47 am: [report]
@abbylyn: They were prepared this year. They pre-greased the light poles so people can’t climb them. Oh we are so going to riot anyway.
nikkialli
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 12:18 pm: [report]
Go Phills! My boyfriend rekindled my love of baseball and I’m so excited. Since we’re at college and some of our friends are Yankees fans, when the games are in Philly we are hosting them at our house, and when they are in NY they are hosting at their house.
And Chase Utley is an amazing player and dammmmnnnn sexy
SterlingSilver36
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 12:44 pm: [report]
This is necessary! The guys I hang out with every day in my dorm have been watching baseball (and football) non stop, and I have already been outed as someone who knows nothing about the sport (not that I was trying to pretend I knew a thing. I hate baseball, but I like their company so I stay). This will help me a little bit, or at least get me some high fives when I say something they didn’t think I knew. That happened when I knew how to spell Torii Hunter’s name (that double ‘i’ will get ya!)
Anyway, I’ve really just been passing my time in their room by finding the best looking players. But this will probably help make it less boring too!
twistycsc
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 12:58 pm: [report]
(It’s a designated hitter that bats for the pitcher in the American League. Switch hitters can bat either right-handed or left-handed)
pragmatryst
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 01:14 pm: [report]
@sklut: Baseball is the easiest sport to follow
Well yeah, it’s two guys playing keep away from a third guy while the rest of the players kill time eating sunflower seeds or scratching their balls. For the rest of us it’s the perfect excuse to drink beer for three hours in front of the TV or at the ballpark on a beautiful summer day. Convincing one’s SO that this is a legitimate couples activity is icing on the cake.
RoyalEagle0408
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 01:52 pm: [report]
As a Phillies fan forced to move to Boston during the rain delay of game 5 last year (on the off day), I am extremely jealous. It was pretty awesome though dressing up as Ryan Howard for halloween and getting MANY MANY comments and congratulations. The fact that I had to miss the end of game 5, which I had a ticket to, always gets sympathy with the guys.
A few notes though- a designated hitter, who may or may not be a switch hitter comes in for an AL pitcher and a 2pt. conversion is just 2 points rather than 1 for the kick.
RoyalEagle0408
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 01:53 pm: [report]
Also…For any of you who watch “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”, if you watch a game, you will see Chase and you will see why Mac loves him and is sure their relationship would be a real home run.
Erica Maxwell
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 02:00 pm: [report]
@abbyln I was not a car flipper, just a happy happy gal. I don’t think destroying the city is the best way to cheer for the home team!
adeceve
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 02:57 pm: [report]
It’s true my darling former roommate has confused a few details (guess I didn’t teach her well enough, however me = sporting maven = yay!).
RoyalEagle’s got the designated hitter thing right, although iirc, during the World Series the games will be played according to home field rules, meaning in NY both teams will be using a DH and in Philly neither will. A switch hitter actually means to bat from both sides.
Now for some extra special nerdy: A batter isn’t technically walked when they’re hit by a that little white round thing. They take a base, yes, but it’s scored as a “hit by pitch” instead.
Oh - and in my opinion her definition of 2 point conversion is cute, if not entirely correct. However, it’d be cuter if she didn’t go and get married and kill that whole random cute boys paying for our tab thing (sorry T. - love you, but you don’t pay for my booze!).
amandabear
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 03:03 pm: [report]
I live in Philly. My neighbor has a cat named Ryan Howard and it took me about 4 months to realize he wasn’t named after the character on The Office. That is how much I am not into baseball. But yes, Cole Hamels is hot. Crazy hot. And I hope we win again this year, despite my non-fan status.
Squidtermz
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 12:08 pm: [report]
Ahhh, another world series, another plaque on the walls of The New Yankee Stadium! Lights out Phillies! Yanks in 6 only cuz they want to win it at home. They’re going to throw 2 games.
RoyalEagle0408
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 01:15 pm: [report]
Yeah, during any interleague (be it during the regular season…ugh) or the WS, the rules are that in an AL park, both teams use a DH and in an NL park, well, sorry AL pitchers, but you’re batting.
Cole Hamels isn’t very attractive. Listen to him talk and tell me you take him seriously as a 25 year old and not as a 12 year old. A lot of people like Jayson Werth, but he kind of scares me.
adeceve
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 01:19 pm: [report]
Jayson Werth would be hot if he shaved that ugly thing off his face.