Sure, you may be broke as a joke since Wall Street has gone AWOL, but don’t worry, the best things in life are free! Just look at those Lehman Brothers posting on Craigslist for free love—they’re not even paying for online dating. So while your taste may be caviar and champagne, remember, there are simple pleasures out there that even the most fancy people can savor—like desire, lust, and nudity. Save your moolah for the things you gotta pay for and cash in on the things you really need with these five sexy freebies.

1. Back Rubs: Now that you’re stressed about your financial future, you need to relax.  Nothing will get you looser than a massage...especially if it comes with a happy ending. Hey, I’ll scratch your back, if you scratch mine!

2. Orgasms: They feel good and best of all, you can give them to yourself free of charge! So have a big O, over and over again, on the house.

3. Scenic Walk: The stock market is falling and leaves are just starting to also! Get some fresh air. Take a stroll. Nose around nature. Screw under the sky.

4. Pillow Fight: Have some latent aggression?  Want your hot neighbor to finally notice you doing something extra dreamy? No matter what the reason, a good old-fashioned pillow fight with a friend is a free way to have some fun without hurting anyone.  If you really want to go wild, fight in your panties- just like men think we always do.

5. Dance: Forget your gym membership! Shakin’ your groove thing is the most cost-effective way to exercise and get your hump on. So, turn up the jams, bust a move, and get down like the NASDAQ!