The Don’ts Of PDA
Posted by: Catherine Strawn
Filed in:
relationships
1:30PM, Thursday November 6th 2008
Several times over the past couple weeks, I’ve ridden the subway with a couple that kisses very loudly while they ride the train to work. I’ve had to stand next to them, inches away, while they “smack,” “smack,” “smack”-ed each other’s lips over and over again. They must have kissed 15 times in the time the train traveled one stop. This morning, I just about had it. I was so close to telling the kissing couple they were being inconsiderate and making others uncomfortable—I can even hear the sound of them kissing when I’m listening to my iPod. I held back, though I’m not sure I can much longer. From now on, I will be getting into a different car if I see them hopping on the subway with me. After the jump, what’s not allowed when it comes to PDA.
- Don’t make out in places where others cannot escape, i.e., elevators, train cars. Find a deserted alleyway if you can’t wait until you’re at home—just watch out for serial killers.
- Don’t use tongue during the day—sucking face is only acceptable at night, when you can use the “I was drunk” excuse. Just sneak little kisses when no one’s looking.
- Don’t block people from walking down the sidewalk by refusing to let go of each other’s hands.
- Don’t pop each other’s pimples. That’s just gross.
- Don’t dress alike. Ever.
- Don’t continually touch each other if you’re eating dinner with others. It is very distracting and prevents people from enjoying their anolini with butternut squash. And don’t feed each other, unless you’re at your own wedding reception.
- Don’t feel each other up.
- Don’t sit in his lap.
- Don’t put your hands in each other’s back pockets.
- Don’t refer to each other by pet names when in public.
- Don’t kiss loudly.
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Glam
wrote on November 6 2008 @ 02:12 pm: [report]
Catherine, I wonder what that couple does when others aren’t around. I bet their relationship is going to crash and burn really soon.
Sarah
wrote on November 6 2008 @ 03:59 pm: [report]
You’ve got to be kidding me! So you’re saying that the only thing we can do in public is look at each other?
Amelia
wrote on November 6 2008 @ 04:08 pm: [report]
@Sarah If the 11 things above are all that you think couples are capable of doing to show each other affection in public, then I should write a book. Smooching on the train is fine. Cleaning each other’s tonsils is not.
Null
wrote on November 6 2008 @ 06:00 pm: [report]
Exhibition (of all kinds) happens, whether or not people like it. You’re likely reacting exactly as they hoped or they wouldn’t have cared even if you had interrupted them. Pick your battles!
Kiki T
wrote on November 6 2008 @ 07:03 pm: [report]
Hearing someone kiss is just disgusting. I had to hold my vomit back when I read that…GROSS….but on that note, that so comes from my current sense of bitterness, because god knows if I were happily in love, I’d probably be a repeat offender of over half of those things on that list, but with some etiquette—but never #4, never!
Lynn
wrote on November 6 2008 @ 08:24 pm: [report]
Uh, can I just share the grosses PDA story EVER?!?! I was at my friend’s apartment (okay, not entirely public, but there was a group of us there). She was painting her toenails and found some kind of rough callus on her toe, and mentioned that she should exfoliate it off sometime or something. That was TMI already, but whatever. But it was not the end. Instead of just agreeing that she should take care of it herself sometime, her boyfriend just BIT IT OFF. IN FRONT OF US. I ALMOST DIED.
@Sarah - can you not think of anything besides that list to show your affection in public? What about putting arms around each other? a quick hug? holding hands while you walk down the street? modest/sweet/not french kisses?
sabotagekatt
wrote on November 7 2008 @ 12:38 am: [report]
Yes yes yes!!
I totally agree with no. 3 - I was at a serious talk once about serious humanitarian things. I’m an itsy 5ft1 so of course I couldn’t see past the mammoth couple in front of me. They knew I was there, but instead of leaving a considerate “viewing” gap between the two of them, they were joined by the hips the whole time and making snide comments about the speaker! Hulk-girl inside of me says GGGGRRRRrrr!!!
On the other hand, I love the hand in the pants pocket. Nothing says “I have access to every part of this sexy hunk, so piss off!” than that!
juliePS
wrote on November 7 2008 @ 08:18 am: [report]
okay, let me just preface this by saying: I am a big jerk. I am a big jerk and I cannot stand gratuitous PDA. With that, let me confess that I have actually made retching noises when I’m stuck near couples that won’t stop jamming their tongues down each other’s throats. Am I proud of it? No. Did it embarrass the #&@$% out of them and get them to knock it off? Absolutely.
But I have to say that I am totally cool with #10 as long as it’s within reason. Then again, I’m the kind of person whose friends ALL get pet names, but they’re not disgusting ones (I’m talking, honey/sweetheart/darling/dollface/etc.). I think if it was something really awful and nauseating, I might object. ;p
Reena
wrote on November 7 2008 @ 01:50 pm: [report]
yea, I didn’t really think this list served much purpose.. I agree that kissing loudly in public is disgusting, but sometimes YOU JUST FEEL LIKE IT. I mean, I generally agree with #1, 2, 4, 5, 7.
I think #3 is stupid, people can walk around, why do I have to let go of someone’s hand? I wouldn’t leg go of my friends hand, why do I have to let go of a boyfriend’s hand? Also, I don’t mind #6.. if you’re distracted, that’s your problem. And I share food with my friends and occasionally give them a bite off my fork, so I think that’s jsut a personal taste thing. I know plenty of people who do #8 and it doesn’t bother me, so long as its just sitting and talking. Sitting and doing a quasi-lap dance or making out is another thing. But just sitting? Come on! Haven’t you ever been at a party where there isn’t enough seating around? I also disagree with #9 & 10..
I just felt like some of this stuff was just petty and based on each person’s individual tastes and not necessarily the taste of society as a whole. Some of the stuff, to me, is totally harmless…
Granted, I do agree that the situation that sparked this article is horrifying. However, I think that’s cuz it happens every day. If it was a one time thing, I wouldn’t care. I’d prob just be jealous. and horny.
gillybeans
wrote on November 7 2008 @ 02:21 pm: [report]
I saw couple on the train platform the other day that were making out so heavily or hornily (is that a word) that I felt like Rusty from European Vacation…“He’s gonna pork her, dad!” It was like I was intruding in on their bedroom antics so got embarrassed and walked far away, but not before I made a “gag me” face to another nearby girl who laughed. Fun bonding moment.
Jules
wrote on November 7 2008 @ 02:32 pm: [report]
This list is a bit extreme. I would agree with loud kissing and popping of the pimples, but what’s wrong with putting hands in each other’s pockets? Or just kissing for that matter? Or holding hands? Or dressing alike (if I feel like being made fun of by everyone, it’s my business and should not be offensive to anyone)? You are too sensitive, get over yourself.
Nora
wrote on November 7 2008 @ 06:31 pm: [report]
I think she meant (in 3) that when you’re in a hurry and need to hustle through crowds, it’s just rude when a couple refuses to separate their hands and let you through. And it is! Today, there was a very stressed-looking woman sitting across from me on the fairly crowded subway. She had the misfortune to be sitting next to a couple that was kissing LOUDLY and with visible tongue. To make matters worse, the girl kept backing up her ass into the woman! I don’t know why people have to do that.
ellie
wrote on November 7 2008 @ 07:43 pm: [report]
holy catfish - do people actually do #4? in public or private or anywhere? i threw up in my mouth a little when i read that. i wish i could “unread” that - it’s something i didn’t need knocking around in my brain.
girly
wrote on November 9 2008 @ 09:08 pm: [report]
this list sounds totally bitter
sitting on your s.o.‘s lap is totally acceptable!
why is it that it is no problem for someone to be flipping the middle finger off in public or using expletives to express anger and hostility? that’s practically commonplace but as soon as people start displaying love and affection everybody is up in arms.
i think we need to get rid of this puritan view that blatantly “enjoying each other” is somehow bad
laura
wrote on November 10 2008 @ 12:29 pm: [report]
I am SO guilty of #9. I love groping my bf’s booty
oops..
PrettyNPearls48
wrote on November 10 2008 @ 08:51 pm: [report]
I <3 PDA…........:(
Mike
wrote on November 11 2008 @ 08:59 am: [report]
With a couple exceptions (pimples? you shouldn’t even do that in private), I think most of these things are fine if they aren’t done in conjunction with #1. You can kiss loudly, but not if I am forced to stand next to you for the next 15 minutes, and DEFINATELY not if the train is so packed that I am making physical contact with both of you. It’s like panhandling; it’s immoral in front of a captive audience.