The Breakup Diaries: My $527 Makeout
Posted by: Amelia McDonell-Parry
Filed in:
relationships
12:00PM, Monday December 22nd 2008
To make a long story short, my breakup is officially official. It became sort of official a few months ago when I decided to call it a breakup rather than a “break” or a “separation,” but it didn’t become officially official until my ex told me, a week ago, that he was no longer in love with me. Until that point, I was definitely holding out hope for a potential reconciliation—after all, the “break” was supposed to be time for him to explore and deal with his issues—but when someone tells you that they don’t love you anymore, well, whether you believe them or not, and whether you think they need serious help, you kind of just need to accept it and move on. So I did. And it cost me $527. But it was worth it.
Last week I went out to a private holiday party at a bar with some friends. Much booze was imbibed, my purse was left on a table along with a lot of other purses belonging to my fellow booze imbibers, and some making out occurred with a very hot, very 24-year-old, very Latin dude. At 3am, a frantic search for my purse occurred, finally discovering it empty underneath a table, the contents strewn on the floor. All but my crappy camera and apartment keys were gone (as was someone else’s purse and coat). With no money, credit card, ID, Metrocard, or iPhone I was forced (forced!) to bring aforementioned hot 24-year-old Latin dude home with me, because, duh, I needed someone to pay for the cab. Back at home more fun occurred, but you’ll be glad to know I’ve stuck to my six-month sex sabbatical—for now. I woke up in the morning, remembering how nice it was to sleep next to a warm body, not feeling the least bit weird or uncomfortable about being intimate with someone new, and not reminiscing about my ex. I suppose this suggests that maybe I have moved on, a little, and am actually a tiny bit excited about what the future holds.
That excitement cost me $527. That is: $432 for a new iPhone, $80 for a new monthly Metrocard, and $15 to replace my driver’s license. And it was worth every penny.
[Photo: iStockphoto]
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shannac02
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 12:17 pm: [report]
Possibly the MOST expensive makeout sesh ever! Hahaha Hilarious story though! Getting your purse stolen sucks, I’m sorry! but congrats on your new found Single-dom, welcome to da club!
Rachel Kramer Bussel
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 12:33 pm: [report]
Even though it totally sucks that you got you stuff stolen, go you on the hot makeout session! Maybe it was meant to be. Did you tell him he was worth all that?
Kiki T
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 12:36 pm: [report]
congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fate has a funny way of working on getting us laid!
bunnymatic
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 12:50 pm: [report]
i love the power of destiny. congratulations!!
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 03:43 pm: [report]
(hushes and smiles) =)
par3
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 04:09 pm: [report]
i just popped a bottle of red wine- and your success is my sweet excuse!
cbass8
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 04:49 pm: [report]
$532 to make out with a hot younger Columbian post break up?
Not expensive at all. And I’m sure, totally worth it.
Amelia
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 04:55 pm: [report]
@par3 Yes! I love giving people an excuse to drink!
Neo
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 08:08 pm: [report]
Congratulations. You allowed your ex to weasel out of the relationship by avoiding the “C” word (commitment). The ephemeral nature of “Love” is always a convenient excuse for betrayal. Commitment, on the other hand, requires character.
And I assume you’re using the Clintonesque definition of no sex.
Amelia
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 08:13 pm: [report]
@Neo I don’t think I let him weasel out of anything. I recently read an amazing quote, which sums up my opinions on the subject:
“When people walk away from you, let them walk. Don’t try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring for you, coming to see you, or staying attached to you. When people walk away, let them walk. Your destiny isn’t tied to anybody that left.”
And no. I’m not using the Clintonesque definition of no sex. Not that it’s your business (only what I choose to share on the site is), but my clothes remained ON.
eden
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 10:41 pm: [report]
And can you not have clothed sex?
Amelia
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 10:42 pm: [report]
Um let’s just say I did not spend an excessive amount of time before cutting holes into my clothing.
christine75004
wrote on December 25 2008 @ 02:30 pm: [report]
Amelia, would you mind telling me who wrote that quote? It’s exactly what I need right now to keep in mind. Thanks!
Amelia
wrote on December 26 2008 @ 02:12 pm: [report]
@christine75004 I wish I knew! I read it on a blog but it wasn’t given attribution…