Make Yourself Hawt And Popular With A “Boob Circle” Photo
Posted by: Nikki Dowling
Filed in:
news
6:15AM, Wednesday July 1st 2009
With the proliferation of MySpace and Facebook have come a slew of ridiculous pictures that chicks (usually obnoxious tweens) take so they can post them and show everyone that they are popular and hot. First, there was that one armed picture, usually taken while pouting or with mouth suggestively open. Then there was the peace sign pose, almost always taken with another girl. Bonus points if one or both girl’s tongues were sticking out. Next, came the sexy body picture taken by aiming a camera at your dirty bathroom mirror. When we thought it couldn’t get any worse, faux lesbian pics cropped up everywhere. And now, our worst nightmare has come to pass. The dreaded “boob circle” has hit Facebook photo albums across the globe. [COEDMagazine]
After the jump, a step by step guide to making your friends think u r omg soooo hawt with a boob circle photo!
Follow these easy steps and you will have yourself the perfect boob circle:
- Spray yourself with fake tanner. You do not have time to get a real tan because you have parties to go to and boys to sleep with. Plus, your parents are making you come home at 10pm.
- Put on the most padded, push-up bra you can find. If you don’t have one, borrow your mom’s and stuff it.
- Find your lowest cut shirt. Make sure the material is thin and cheap. If it’s a tank top or a spaghetti strap, all the better. If your midriff is showing, you have reached perfection. Put a hoodie on, so that when your parents drive you to the party they don’t notice how you are dressed.
- When you get to the party greet your friends with partial sentences like “sup?” and “omg!”
- Have a few of the cheap, canned beers that your friend stole from her parent’s basement. When the boys (omgomg!) start to show up, pretend to be drunker than your really are and get touchy feely with the girls.
- At the opportune time—that is, when all the boys are watching—find four other girls with big boobs and low-cut shirts.
- Stand in a close circle. Now, pull down your shirts and push up your boobies.
- Have a flat-chested friend stand above you with a camera.
- Look up and make a face. You have a few choices. You can make an omg-I’m-having-so-much-fun-face or you can do a sexy pout. If your tounge is pierced, stick it out. If these poses are too complicated, go for a simple kiss face.
- Make your friend take a few so you can try out different faces to maximize your hottness.
- The very next morning, after your mom has made you breakfast and you’ve done the dishes, put your “boob circle” picture up on the social networking site of your choice. Make sure you tag everyone in it and put a few words underneath it so everyone knows how awesome you are. Something like “sooo hotttt” usually does the trick.
Good luck and happy boob circles!
TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
writergirl
wrote on July 1 2009 @ 06:19 am: [report]
If/when my nieces do this, am I obligated to tell their mothers?
avalari
wrote on July 1 2009 @ 06:35 am: [report]
Teenage wasteland.
Emi
wrote on July 1 2009 @ 07:20 am: [report]
*facedesk*
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 1 2009 @ 07:25 am: [report]
This is old. Roll back the clock 4 years and I may have been interested.
betty123
wrote on July 1 2009 @ 07:36 am: [report]
Oh I see now. I thought it was a bunch of hairy butts. These girls are actually showing how clever they are with this optical illusion.
likeOMGkbye
wrote on July 1 2009 @ 08:31 am: [report]
That one girls boob is just OUT. Does that count as foreplay then?
Chebs
wrote on July 1 2009 @ 11:09 am: [report]
And just when I think teen kids couldn’t get any weirder/dumber. I hope that they at least have their profiles locked down, so only friends can see it. And also that they don’t friend teachers or people who might potentially hire them in the future.
hellosunrise
wrote on July 1 2009 @ 12:40 pm: [report]
just another reason to give the younger generation a bad name. *sigh* i am so glad i dont ever post slutty pics like that on my profile. have some class!
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 1 2009 @ 12:52 pm: [report]
@hellosunrise: Just another reason to yell at you old people to GTFO out of pop culture. You shouldn’t have a profile in which to post said slutty pics. Have some sense and turn on Murder She Wrote.
hellosunrise
wrote on July 1 2009 @ 02:11 pm: [report]
what? i don’t think 21 is considered old. thanks for being a douche though -.-
sklut
wrote on July 1 2009 @ 02:12 pm: [report]
ahahahaha so true. I posted this on my facebook and I’m already getting hate comments. Thank you. I have plenty of room to make fun because my pictures are normal and respectable and will never get me in trouble with a future employer.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 1 2009 @ 03:35 pm: [report]
@hellosunrise: Then you have no idea what a generation is, because I am apparently douching it up.
_jsw_
wrote on July 1 2009 @ 03:43 pm: [report]
Between this and the apparent surge in girls kissing girls, I’m afraid we men are no longer needed/wanted for anything.
Which is fine, because we can now watch TV in peace.
kmatter
wrote on July 1 2009 @ 07:14 pm: [report]
@_jsw_: lol trust me, men are still needed, so don’t get too comfortable in your t.v. chair. cuz i mean (rolls eyes) omg, who else would girls have to complain to/attempt to look hot for, if it weren’t men?
hellosunrise
wrote on July 1 2009 @ 07:37 pm: [report]
nevermind. just forget about it. jesus.
Symian
wrote on July 2 2009 @ 06:13 pm: [report]
No surprise here. I sure can’t wait until these kids are grown and trying to do professional things. It will be a funny day when a woman goes into and interview only to be met by a former school buddy who won’t stop mentioning how her rack still hasn’t changed. They’ll soon find out that stupidity on the internet is permanent.
sam04
wrote on July 2 2009 @ 06:46 pm: [report]
The lengths girls go to for attention. Ridiculous. When my cousin was thirteen, she went from being this sweet, innocent child to posting hundreds of the most trashy photos of herself on facebook. Always in her underwear, posing sexily on her Dad’s sports car, kissing her girlfriends, pouting in the mirror, etc. It was pretty creepy.
retro chic
wrote on July 2 2009 @ 07:34 pm: [report]
My tweener is mere inches away from this “Teens Gone Wild” version of a Circle of Friends? Scary. No FB for us.
Antiquity
wrote on July 2 2009 @ 07:44 pm: [report]
god. No wonder people find my generation to be as smart as a box of rocks. I want an age change if possible.
_jsw_
wrote on July 2 2009 @ 07:46 pm: [report]
@Antiquity I have a decade you can have, free. Just figure out a way to take it from me, and it’s yours.
Antiquity
wrote on July 2 2009 @ 07:55 pm: [report]
@Jsw lol. Ill get to work on that…
Angieliz
wrote on July 3 2009 @ 02:00 pm: [report]
I know a girl who this article reminded me of. She’s 19 and pregnant (she tricked a friend of mine into getting her pregnant). She posted a bunch of pictures of herself on myspace in a low-cut shirt without a bra and her nipple peaking out. Very gross.
sam04
wrote on July 3 2009 @ 04:26 pm: [report]
@Angieliz: How exactly does someone get tricked into getting someone pregnant? She seduced him and lied about contraception? I don’t really think that counts as being tricked, if so. People should be responsible for themselves.
snap
wrote on July 3 2009 @ 08:26 pm: [report]
exactly, sam!
and this was a hilarious (and true!) article.