The Biggest Lies We’re Told About Sex

40yrolddad
wrote on January 27 2009 @ 12:57 pm: [report]

o.k., you finally had a topic I HAD to register to comment on (sex lies perpetuated by society):

1. homo[/bi]sexuality is bad/wrong/immoral/etc (bonus points if you think they can be “cured”) - top that one…

2.  men who urinate in the woods MUST be pedophiles and need to be kept 1000+ ft from children for the rest of their lives!  (ditto for teens who had sex in the 90s/80s/etc before “registry” laws retroactively labeled them)

3.  if a man appreciates a woman’s looks/body it is impossible for him to respect her intellect, professionalism, personality, etc - they are completely mutually exclusive

I’m sure I could come up w/a bunch more but those are my top 3…

Provocative Girl
wrote on January 27 2009 @ 01:16 pm: [report]

the only useful advice i ever learned from sex ed in school was how to put a condom on (a guy). the don’t teach you anything useful.sex does not equal love. love doesn’t equal sex. sex can be good. sex can be bad. really bad. i think in order to have good sex you have to find a man who does appreciate not only your body but also your personality and such. that’s what makes it special.

vanya
wrote on January 27 2009 @ 02:46 pm: [report]

Further to 40yrolddad’s list, I’ll add: Sex Will Kill You.  (That was big in our high schools/ universities when AIDS and HIV first became widespread amongst heterosexuals in the 80’s.)

Pipi
wrote on January 27 2009 @ 03:33 pm: [report]

Here is a good lie:

Sex is better when you are in love with the person

sugarlips
wrote on January 27 2009 @ 03:52 pm: [report]

@Pipi, I actually kinda disagree with you. BUT. Being in love with the person does not equal better sex. Having that level of trust with a person to be willing to do things, and having that level of love and respect where you’re both caring about pleasing the other person… good stuff. But I do agree, it can’t be used as a blanket statement by any means. Some of my best sex came with guys I didn’t care much about. And some of my worst sex came from the man I almost married.

wittybitch
wrote on January 27 2009 @ 04:01 pm: [report]

Here is another one: You have ruined the chance of having a relationship future with a guy if you sleep with him on the first date.

And another: Girls don’t masturbate, only dirty boys do that.

The Nomad
wrote on January 27 2009 @ 04:25 pm: [report]

-The longer the sex, the better. Penetration for 30 minutes straight, no matter how many positions, makes me sore and/or bored.
-If she doesn’t orgasm, she isn’t enjoying it / you’re doing it wrong. Some days an orgasm simply isn’t in the cards. It does not mean that I am not enjoying myself or that there is something wrong with me/my partner.

ShortyDooWop
wrote on January 27 2009 @ 11:51 pm: [report]

super grateful to the Hampton City Schools sex-ed teachers(VA) because they were always very straight up about sex; it could hurt, it could be great, wrap it up, use BC(taught us them all and how to use them), and we were able to ask any questions…

to nomad: DITTO!!!  i hate when guys think they have to be mr. energizer bunny!  it’s tiring and i hurt…let’s just do it and then go back to foreplay, err post-play?

Tamara
wrote on January 28 2009 @ 01:53 am: [report]

@ The Nomad I think the length of sex depends on the person. I’ve had it for 30 minutes, but I love it when I can have it for 2-4 hours.

I do however hate that damn myth that if the woman doesn’t orgasm it means she didn’t enjoy it. My boyfriend is a believer in this and I had to debunk it for him, though from believing it for so long he gets disappointed if I don’t. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen, it does not mean I did not enjoy it. If I wasn’t enjoying myself I would just stop it.

They myth I was told and believed for a long time, besides that sex was bad, dirty and unenjoyable (I went to a bad church, can you tell?), was that there are diseases out there that you can get even if you use a condom and there was no cure.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
wrote on January 28 2009 @ 10:21 am: [report]

What a fabulous list! I’ll add that there’s a universal “hotness” to people. Sometimes I think we assume that a certain celebrity or person we know is simply “sexy” when it’s so subjective. I feel weird sometimes when people I like meet my friends and then they’re like “I’m not into him/her” and it’s odd because that doesn’t really affect whether I am or not, you know? Thanks for posting this. It’s sad that there are so many myths perpetuated as universal truths.

chitownmale
wrote on January 28 2009 @ 03:30 pm: [report]

I don’t mean to ignite a riot here or anything, but Tamara, there are a number of incurable diseases you can get, even if you use a condom. Herpes and HPV strains can get picked up even when both people are being as safe as possible, and that doesn’t get into oral sex. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have safe fun, but it’s better to be informed, however small the risk, than think that just because you use a condom, you are invincible.

EarthGoddess
wrote on January 28 2009 @ 03:49 pm: [report]

@Pipi: I totally disagree. All intimate contact is much better when there is deep love, trust and commitment. It’s the physical joining of 2 souls. (Then again, I must be from another planet since sex to me has never been and will never be just sex. It’s always making love.)

@Nomad: I agree that extra-long sessions are overrated. My husband is one of those lucky men who can go on forever, but he’s learned that it’s not at all necessary nor does it impress me more. After too long, I’m bored with it, and that ruins the whole thing for both of us.

Tamara
wrote on January 28 2009 @ 05:37 pm: [report]

@chitownmale, no worries. I know as much about sex as I can get my hands on and that includes all the not so fun diseases. I should clarify that the diseases that I told I could do not actually exist, I can’t remember the details of what the various consequences were, but trust me when I say none of these exist. If they do the people who told me were either ahead of their time or were making said disease in their basement.

Trixie Firecracker
wrote on January 28 2009 @ 07:17 pm: [report]

Personal favorite myths:

1. It is normal and “natural” for men to want sex, but socially deviant and “bad” if a woman wants to.

2. As a female, your virginity is worth more than anything you else (education, job, net worth, etc) in your life.

(My mom once said that no “nice Asian boy” would ever marry me because of that. Go figure)

3. The only “normal” sex is heterosexual, penetrative, and in the missionary position.

Trixie Firecracker
wrote on January 28 2009 @ 07:20 pm: [report]

Er…, I meant “Personal favorite myths = Myths I hear too much about sex which make me want to hurl.”

Obviously, Trixie is a genius.

Oh, and of course, another myth, though not actually a sex myth: ” Prince Charming will come along, it will be love at first sight, he will sweep you off your feet and you’ll both ride into the sunset happily ever after.” Thanks Disney!

chitownmale
wrote on January 29 2009 @ 10:10 am: [report]

@Tamara, Hahaha, sounds like you did have an interesting catholic upbrining. I didn’t mean to sound sanctimonious or anything. It looks like we are both the victims of the same kind of teaching, and have both recovered nicely I still remember the first nun that told us we wold go blind if we masturbated. It’s a classic, but when you’re in fifth grade, you probably haven’t heard it

jesscdoo
wrote on January 30 2009 @ 12:07 am: [report]

The most destructive myth I know of is the one that says your sexual fulfillment is up to your partner.  What a crock! If I don’t know how to get what I want how the HELL am I supposed to tell anyone else?

Also, that orgasm has to be achieved through skin to skin contact. That one took me a long time to get over. I’m a childhood sexual abuse survivor and I have had tremendous difficulty achieving orgasm without a vibrator, even by myself. I used to feel ashamed of this but thankfully I talked it over with my willing boyfriend (now husband) and he doesn’t feel emasculated or threatened by it at all. In fact, he discovered that he enjoys our toys just as much as I do. Thank God!

jc
wrote on March 17 2009 @ 12:33 am: [report]

If men were from Mars they would be => frozen solid and freeze-dried (like folgers). And if women were from Venus they’d be => ashes. So I know they lied to us about that one. Trust me, I’m a Rocket Scientist . . .

misspixie
wrote on March 17 2009 @ 03:15 am: [report]

That the number of people you have slept with is indicative of whether or not you are a good person (particularly applicable if you are a girl). Rubbish!

anoldguy
wrote on March 17 2009 @ 04:21 am: [report]

First, I want to agree with 40yrolddad’s list. Good insights there, especially #3.

Second, as the brother of six sisters, I was always especially upset by the notion cyberpixie mentions. My sisters were and are among the smartest women and best human beings I know, and even in high school, it ticked me off mightily that some ignorant adolescent male could get away with that ridiculous double standard view that it was OK for him to nail as many girls as he could, while simultaneously labeling those girls with a lot of uncomplimentary names.

Third, sort of a riff on Nomad’s comment, it’s my experience as an old guy that really good sex sometimes doesn’t involve actual intercourse at all, whether it’s for two minutes or two hours. On occasion, an extended period of foreplay/post-orgasmic play can be both really hot and really satisfying. Not every time (I’m old but I’m still a guy, with that same genetic programming), but some times.

retro chic
wrote on March 17 2009 @ 09:18 am: [report]

Wot?!... Slow news day, eh? So much cotton candy, and another high-calorie, zero nutrient/fiber list from About.com, et al.

These silly “lies” about jokes or myths about lies…ie, are just recycled noninformation, spun into exposed disinformation to rot one’s brain.

I have never… in my life… heard of these things, except as ridiculous jokes, not to be taken seriously!