The 10 Rules For Becoming A Rachel Zoe Clone

Rachel Zoe is such an absurd character that we’ve developed a slight obsession with her and her reality show. Everything about her—from her kooky wardrobe to her catch phrases to her paycheck—is totally over the top. Want to possess the essence of Rachel Zoe? Here are 10 tips. And don’t forget! Halloween is right around the corner. We’re thinking about going as a posse of Zoe-mbies.

1. Nothing says “I’m a fashion goddess” like over-sized accessories. Wear an enormous ring on your pointer finger, and never, ever take off those giant sunglasses that make you look like a bug.
2. Tan. Tan again. Now tan some more. When you’re done tanning? Apply bronzer.
3. Repeat after me: “You killed it!” “Shut it down!” “The fashion gods are smiling on me today!”
4. Buy clothing several sizes too big so you look even skinnier. Accessorize with collar bones.
5. Change your name.
6. Create an entourage consisting of personal assistants, assistant stylists, FOFs (Friends in Fashion), etc. To do daily: make each assistant cry at least once.
7. Marry a man with complicated hair.
8. Despise your job title—celebrity stylist—even if that’s what you’re famous for. You are a complicated woman, aren’t you?
9. Cry when you get bad PR. You’re on TV! It’s all part of the grand celebrity scheme.
10. Spawn a nation of lookalike fashion Zoe-mbies.