The 10 Friends You Need To Make Before You Turn 30
Posted by: Catherine Strawn
Filed in:
relationships
12:00PM, Tuesday November 10th 2009
Our editor Amelia is turning 30 in a week and her essay on the subject really resonated with Frisky readers, both younger and older than 30. With that in mind, we’ll be reposting our “Before 30” series, which originally ran late last year, over the next few weeks. Enjoy!
From the time you were in pre-school and your mom picked your play dates, you’ve been building relationships with people. And sometimes, when you have things in common and get along with one another, you become friends. You might think that you have enough friends in your life, but really, can you ever have too many? Plus, you never know when you’re going to need a hand saw, so you better have someone in your cell phone who owns one.
1. The Style Guru
Everyone needs someone who can help them figure out which dress is appropriate for “black-tie optional” weddings, and whether you can get away with wearing a green sweater with a red belt. (The answer to the latter is “probably not,” unless you are a Christmas Elf.)
2. The Mr./Ms. Fix-it
You bought a new bike online, but the instructions for putting it together appear to be written in a language you do not speak. It’s time to call the friend who has a knack for building things and owns all the right tools.
3. The Good-Time Gal
If you’re feeling antsy with nothing to do on a Friday night, call this friend, who is generally up for doing anything at any time. She’ll cook up plans that involve dancing on banquets or singing Madonna’s “Like A Prayer” in the time it takes you to change out of your work clothes and slap on a fresh coat of mascara.
4. The Health Nut
During the times when you suddenly decide to start working out or eating food other than take-out and delicacies from the frozen-food aisle, it’s good to have someone who reads every health and fitness magazine and loves to dispense instructions on the proper squat form and to pass along recipes for protein-rich meals.
5. The Ear
You had a sucky day at work and hate everything in your closet. What do you do? Call the friend who will calmly listen to all of your problems and then, at the appropriate time, give you a few pearls of wisdom.
6. The Do-It-Herselfer
Hemming vintage dresses or whipping up a crème brûlée might not come naturally to you, but with the help of a skillful friend, you’ll develop new talents in no time.
7. The Culture Guru
If you like the idea of going to see that new up-and-coming band perform, befriend someone who knows who’s playing and what exhibits are on display.
8. The Healthcare Professional
Make friends with a doctor or nurse. Then, when you wake up with ginormous swollen glands, you won’t have to wait for an appointment to get medicine to cure what ails you.
9. The Legal Adviser
We all make mistakes. A need for speed can lead to you getting pulled over, and a lively party might end with a noise violation. If you have a friend who’s a lawyer, at least you won’t be alone when you have to appear in front of a judge.
10. The Travel Buddy
There are those who like to stay in the same place and find solace in their homes. And there are others who need to get out and explore the world. If you’ve caught the travel bug, find a friend who has it too. It’s way more fun (and much safer) when you share adventures with someone else.
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ClatieK
wrote on September 22 2008 @ 07:59 pm: [report]
An excellent list. May I add to that: Ms. Etiquette, the one who can tell you when to bring a hostess gift, the difference between formal and black tie, and where to go with your in-laws for brunch.
Diane
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 09:26 am: [report]
The “gay” friend is conspicuously absent from this article. I think everyone needs a gay friend, they make things so much fun. The gay friend alone could do the work of friends 1,5,8,10.
Simosa
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 09:38 am: [report]
good point Diane! everyone needs a gay friend. Question is…do we need a lesbian friend?
lilo
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 09:47 am: [report]
@Diane: I think any of the friends above could also be gay/lesbian.
Chris
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 06:52 pm: [report]
Great way to use people to selfishly motivate your weak spots. What a loser. Learn to be self supportive first and forget these “Friends” you’ll only “use” in the long run.
Wendy
wrote on September 26 2008 @ 08:40 am: [report]
Where is #6?
oogabooga
wrote on September 26 2008 @ 09:55 am: [report]
@ Chris - This isn’t about using people, it’s about playing off each others strengths and skills. Friends don’t mind when friends ask for favors.
Suz
wrote on September 30 2008 @ 05:28 pm: [report]
Why can’t you just have a few friends who fill all those shoes?
all in one
wrote on October 15 2008 @ 01:51 pm: [report]
why is this article assuming that you can’t do any of those things yourself, and there for need a “friend” to do it for you? why would i be thirty, unable to cook, watch out for my own health, dress my self appropriately, or to0o scared to take a vaca alone. if im thirty and i can’t do aleast 7 of the above by myself- i feel as if there is a problem… as in being to0o dependent on others. its nice to have a friend to do things WITH. but the idea that u NEED a friend to do any of the above is insane. a friend should be someone who can do for you, what you can and are willing to do for them in return.
Amelia
wrote on October 15 2008 @ 02:06 pm: [report]
This reminds me—you also need a friend by 30 who will have a sense of humor for you!
Arty
wrote on November 30 2008 @ 03:24 pm: [report]
Kind if similar to Ms. Fixit but what about Ms. Techie? Everyone needs someone to fix their computer, particularly if it means not paying for outrageous service plans.
par3
wrote on December 1 2008 @ 03:49 am: [report]
looking at this list is also a way to strive you be a well rounded person and maybe become interested in something that you previously didn’t think you could conquer. brulee? tres facile!
par3
wrote on December 1 2008 @ 03:52 am: [report]
to be a well rounded person*
Erin G
wrote on December 1 2008 @ 08:36 am: [report]
I would also add that you would probably fill one or two of these roles yourself already (rather than bitching about how this list “assumes no one should have to do anything themselves” ::eye roll:: )
Molly
wrote on December 1 2008 @ 01:05 pm: [report]
Some people are so obsessed with being independent. Everybody needs help now and then, what’s so wrong with that?
ElleSays
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 12:16 pm: [report]
@Arty, i realize your comment is almost a year old, but as a techie, the last thing I want is someone assuming that I’ll just whisk in and fix whatever is wrong with their computer.
Queen Frostine
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 12:34 pm: [report]
I’m my own 1, 2, 4, 6 and 7.
My mom is 3, 5, 8 and 9.
Husband is number 5 and 10.
So, perhaps these are more like need to have qualities in friends.
lea322
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 12:51 pm: [report]
I actually enjoy it when my friends use me for my strengths. I take it as a compliment. What’s the point of being good at something if you don’t get to help your friends?
And as for having a gay friend, I think adding “gay friend” to a list like this indicates that the only thing that person is good at is being gay, which, if you disregard stereotypes, means that they are good at having sex with men. Couldn’t your travel buddy or legal adviser also be gay? Being gay doesn’t inherently make you “fabulous!”, or whatever it is that’s being implied by the above comment.
bethlynn00
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 02:15 pm: [report]
I have had/do have friends who fit into all of these categories, although finding a travel buddy nowadays would be hard, all my friends (including me) are broke, so how about a travel-fantasy guru, someone who will sit with you during a recession and talk about all the places they went before they lost their job and all the places they hope to go once they get a new one.
And yeah most of the time many of these are rolled into one. My friend who I consult for shopping and style is also the culture guru, so he always let me know what is hot. Then my health nut buddy (who I can;t talk to right now cause I am feeling anti- anything diet friendly, is also Ms. Fix-It, so I did have to call her to help me put together my new media stand, that I stared at or 4 hours and she put together and alphabetized all my DVDs in about 20 minutes, but then I had sit and listen to her talk about ordering a tofurkey from some place for Thanksgiving the whole time. But obviously they all come in handy or something! Good list.
majicksand
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 04:53 pm: [report]
The best way to “lure” in friends with valuable skills is to have valuable skills.
DancingGeek
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 08:11 pm: [report]
right on majicksand! then you can barter!