Style 911: Can I Wear Black To My Own Wedding?
Posted by: Erin Flaherty
Filed in:
style
3:30PM, Thursday September 3rd 2009
“I’ve been reading The Frisky for a month or so (religiously!) and I thought this would be the place to get my questions answered. (You guys always seem to have the answers.) I’m getting married on Oct 31st of this year and want to know if it’s acceptable to wear a black wedding dress. I would pair it with an ivory shawl (in cashmere) with white pearls as accessories. Is this a fashion no-no? I just want something non-traditional and the bridal stores aren’t doing it for me. I’ve found this vintage black cocktail-type dress and hope that I can wear it! Thanks in advance!” —Melissa
Hey Melissa, what’s up? And welcome to The Frisky! Glad you’re here. I love your question because, personally, when it comes to fashion rules, I like to get all rebellious and say there are none. (Eh, OK, maybe just a few…) After the jump, let’s discuss whether a black dress can work for you on your wedding day or not.
So here’s the deal: The only reason that I can see for a bride to wear white to her 2009 wedding is a) it’s her “signatuh coloh” or b) later in life she’ll kick herself for not being more traditional. But since it seems like the color black is more your thang and, clearly, you don’t seem to harbor any old-fashioned visuals of yourself in a big white gown—as you said, the bridal stores aren’t doing it for you—there’s no reason to hold back. Your idea, vintage black with a pretty cashmere shawl and pearls, sounds gorgeous and classic, even if the black is more of a modern twist. And that’s the key: By blending the old and new in a subtle way, you’re ensuring that you’re not pulling any crazy moves you might regret later, but you’ll still look and feel unique and special.
As recently married fashion high priestess Katie Grand said, “I wore an Azzedine Alaïa brown snakeskin dress, which he tortured me for about two months to get into, but at least it’s something I can wear again. I didn’t want some stupid white dress; it seems like such a waste.” But there’s nothing wasteful about your black cocktail dress, which if you so choose and style differently, can be worn again and again and again. (That said, there’s no shame in white dresses, either—it really comes down to you and your individual style.) Congrats and have a great wedding! xoe
Have a fashion or beauty dilemma on your hands? Email your queries to style@thefrisky.com with the subject line “Style 911” and we’ll do our best to help sort you out.
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*sam*
wrote on September 3 2009 @ 02:36 pm: [report]
Speaking as someone who’s been canoozling the bridal department lately, I think wearing anything that you don’t absolutely LOVE is the only “fashion no-no’” you can really commit on your wedding day. While, I personally wouldn’t wear a black dress, I certainly wouldn’t talk smack about a bride that did. FWIW, I’m looking into more contemporary gowns—semi-traditional white ones with a colored train so my entire bridal party can be color-coordinated…(bridesMEN included)
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on September 3 2009 @ 02:40 pm: [report]
I’m going in a bubble wrap and duct tape three piece suit.
mutam
wrote on September 3 2009 @ 02:41 pm: [report]
AND Sarah Jessica Parker wore a black cocktail dress to her wedding!!
joyy
wrote on September 3 2009 @ 02:42 pm: [report]
Style rules be damned: it’s YOUR wedding, no one else’s (ok you and your fiance, but you get the point) - do whatever makes YOU happy.
mutam
wrote on September 3 2009 @ 02:42 pm: [report]
Here’s the link to a picture of it, I forgot to put it in my first message, sorry!
http://www.celebritybrideguide.com/photos/broderick-parker-278x400.jpg
Ginger
wrote on September 3 2009 @ 03:03 pm: [report]
@CheeeeEEEEse Best idea ever.
melissaann
wrote on September 3 2009 @ 03:06 pm: [report]
A white dress on Halloween is a terrible idea anyways!
melsie0381
wrote on September 3 2009 @ 03:19 pm: [report]
melissaann: This is what I thought! It’s Halloween, anything goes!
Thanks to Erin Flaherty for posting and answering my question! I’ll let you all know what I decide to do. : D
Goldfinch86
wrote on September 3 2009 @ 03:24 pm: [report]
WEAR IT! I love the idea of wearing color at a wedding, if that’s who you are. You said you are coordinating well and you sound set, just a littler nervous that it might not go over well, I think if you wear it and act like you own it your going to be just fine.
skywalk
wrote on September 3 2009 @ 03:58 pm: [report]
It’s your day and you get to make all the rules so if you want to wear black than wear, btw it is gorgeous.
Coral
wrote on September 3 2009 @ 03:58 pm: [report]
Yup. I agree to wear whatever you want. It’s all about you and your future husband, not about what anyone else thinks, so wear what you feel comfortable in to please yourself.
I know I’m gonna be wearing hot pink heels. But I don’t really want a wedding ceremony anyways.
calenia
wrote on September 3 2009 @ 04:42 pm: [report]
Its your wedding so wear whatever you’d like. Personally, I love the idea of a black cocktail dress for a wedding, vintage or otherwise. Mazel Tov!
Anniushka
wrote on September 3 2009 @ 07:24 pm: [report]
That advice sounds right to me. If you’re going to get married on Halloween, a black dress is only logical!
I’m way young to even think of such things, but I like the idea of a gray wedding dress.