Stephen Colbert Won’t Let This Teen Birth Control Junkie Off Easy
Posted by: Jessica Wakeman
Filed in:
news, video
2:40PM, Tuesday August 4th 2009
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Nailed ‘Em - War on Birth Control | ||||
| ||||
Nothing has made us giggle as hard this morning as this “Colbert Report” clip about 17-year-old Freesia Jackson, who was nailed by her school officials for possession of a controlled substance: her birth control pills. Popping a baby-blocker in the cafeteria earned this little trollop a two-week suspension from school.
Stephen rips this junkie and her “fallopian dope” a new one, siding with a member of the Fairfax County School Board who says there is a no-drug policy at the high school because — and I quote —” birth control pills are just as dangerous as heroin.” Have you even seen a teen girl jonesing for a fix of Yaz? Watch out!
(Ummm, Mr. Fairfax County School School Board Guy, sir? Birth control pills are just a bunch of hormones.)
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Annika Harris
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 01:50 pm: [report]
I’m a “Materna-smack” junkie, too.
Potstirer
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 01:50 pm: [report]
hilarity!
blissfullthinking.com
Raugiel
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 01:52 pm: [report]
Thanks for spreading the love! As a proud member of the Colbert Nation, I fear the spread of back-alley NuvaRing sales in response to this crackdown!
kmatter
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 08:43 pm: [report]
lol wow… my teachers caught me with my birth control all the time… but they never said anything HA :-p
Keeno
wrote on August 5 2009 @ 06:54 am: [report]
Chris Brownlick?
Brown Lick?
is that how he got his position? rimming all the local authority board memebers with a penchant for dirty sissy action?
It sure as hell wasn’t his intellectual capacity!
there’s are no drugs allowed. Period
hehe, that’s a good line.
period
ewwww
bogart4017
wrote on August 5 2009 @ 11:41 am: [report]
...and these are the yahoos who run the school.
theattack
wrote on August 5 2009 @ 03:05 pm: [report]
When I was taking pills in high school against the rules, I snuck into the bathroom with my bottle of water to do it. She should learn to be sneaky about breaking rules. Or she could have taken it before or after school. I’m not blaming this on her because the schools should be more understanding, but she definitely could have prevented this situation by being more careful. Of course she should be able to take her birth control, but the school officials can’t just overlook that when they see her doing it. How are they to know that when she’s taking a pill, it’s birth control and not something else? The school officials were doing the right thing in treating the case just as any other case of catching a student popping pills, but if the schools establish those rules, they need to have a system in place to allow those students to take their medicine without being punished for it. The student could go to the nurse to get her medicine, or even just go into the office to take it under supervision.
vinospizza
wrote on August 10 2009 @ 07:26 am: [report]
@theattack: or the teachers could just check the prescription on the package… “Oh hey, that’s your name and it’s birth control… kthxbye”.
That’s what happened in my high school - though I am finding that even my rural Canadian experience was quite liberal compared to some stuff I read about.
Preventing the situation by sneaking around wouldn’t have resulted in a huge PR backlash for the school though - so she’s likely doing all her fellow students a favour by getting caught.
Of course the underlying problem is the school not allowing any drugs, prescription or not. What the hell kind of policy is that?
snap
wrote on August 10 2009 @ 07:50 am: [report]
why can’t she take her pills from home?
superdude602
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 10:52 am: [report]
I to was Expelled from oakton highschool for having my medications. My mediccations were something that I needed to be able to get through the school day. The school was aware of this, and still expelled me and pressed criminal charges against me. Because of these bulshit rules, I was put in the juvenile detention center, had to go to drug awareness classes, and I am on Probation. Because of this, I will have a felony on my record FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! Fairfax county public schools are #&@$%. They have ruined many oppurtunities for me, as they will for this girl.