Croutons
wrote on August 28 2008 @ 11:26 am:

I would dress it up in doll clothes and put on a little puppet show!

theothergyllenhaal
wrote on August 28 2008 @ 01:28 pm:

Jocelyn: Eyes straight ahead. Glancing is even worse than a wide stance.

Anna: My suggestion: Go for a hike. Nothing makes you feel better about having a penis than taking a leak on a tree. It’s empowering.

Cassie: We call that the mangina. Never. Gets. Old.

Brie: A man-tip: Avoid the conditioner.

Julia: You’ll regret the kick to the balls, less for the split-second of excruciating pain than for the 10 minutes of nausea afterward.

Colleen: That’s exactly why women should never be allowed to have penises.

Joanne
wrote on August 28 2008 @ 01:37 pm:

Yes Colleen....that’s exactly what I was thinking while I was chuckling reading all of the entries.  It sure is a good thing we don’t.  Same thing with guys and Boobies!

Lola
wrote on August 28 2008 @ 07:50 pm:

I’d do my boyfriend in the a$$ so he can stop begging me to do it! He’d stop asking cuz the 1st time it’s painful !!!!

Amelia
wrote on August 28 2008 @ 08:25 pm:

@Lola Hell YES. Good one.

Daniel Purvis
wrote on August 28 2008 @ 08:56 pm:

O.k. Had to chime in on this discussion.

“I’d check out this whole urinal thing. The etiquette of urinal peeing fascinates me. Can I look down at the dude next to me to compare?  Do I have to stare straight ahead?  How does that WORK, exactly? If I was a dude, I think every single time I’d walk into the bathroom and some guy was peeing in a urinal, I’d feel like I walked in on them! ‘Oops! Sorry, didn’t know someone was in here.’ Awkward.”—Jocelyn

I’m with theothergyllenhaal on this one. However, it’s quite acceptable to continue entire conversations while taking a piss, without pause, from unzipping, pissing, through to washing the hands and opening the door. Once you actually LEAVE the toilet premises, however, it’s best not to acknowledge you ever conversed.

“Masturbate. A lot. In the shower though, because even as a guy, sperm would gross me out.”—Brie

Ejaculate actually goes stringy, and sticky, when combined with water, it’s actually HARDER to get off than if you just whack it into a tissue. In fact, if you jerk in the shower, it’s likely to get stuck to the bottom of your feet, which is pretty annoying.

“I think I would draw a happy face on the tip and make the pee hole talk. My wiener would say, ‘Hi Amelia, how are you today?’ I would be pretty busy that day, actually.”—Colleen

I’ve done that. Honestly, I’m REALLY surprised there aren’t more live-action videos of penis-hole conversations. I’m sure they’d be hillarious.

Amelia
wrote on August 28 2008 @ 09:06 pm:

@Daniel Regarding your second point. I have noticed this. I have wondered for years WHY that is. No one has been able to tell me though.

Amelia
wrote on August 28 2008 @ 09:09 pm:

@theothergyllenhaal So, wait, it’s pretty typical for guys to do the mangina? Like, for each other? As entertainment? I am so jealous I am not a dude sometimes.

theothergyllenhaal
wrote on August 29 2008 @ 09:36 am:

@Amelia: It’s not like I’ll be sitting around with friends and they’ll all go, “Dude, do the mangina for us!” More that you break it out when they least expect it. I’ve been known to interrupt my roommate’s webcam chats by walking into his room and doing the mangina in the background.

But I’m not a particularly classy guy.

LoLo
wrote on August 29 2008 @ 09:38 am:

If Icould have a penis for a day… Id want my penis to be huge! I would screw everyone who ever screwed me Good or bad and see how they like it!!!!

theothergyllenhaal
wrote on August 29 2008 @ 10:35 am:

LoLo, you should never wield a penis in anger.

Lea
wrote on August 29 2008 @ 05:31 pm:

I wouldn’t be able to resist getting it hard then taping a paintbrush to it and painting a penis picture.

Muffaletta
wrote on August 30 2008 @ 04:03 pm:

I think the significance of this “penis for a day” lies mostly in the fact that you haven’t grown up with a penis. There are plenty of fascinating things about penises, but they have become less of a novelty after spending so much time becoming familiar with them. I’m sure if we (men) all had the chance to have a vagina and clitoris for a day, we’d be equally impressed, as long as we didn’t get a day of high tides, if you will.

Bill
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 09:34 pm:

I’m a guy and i enjoy this discussion and trust me, i wouldn’t want a pussy for a day-guys will screw you and before you realize what has happened, they’ve COME and gone. You’re left high and dry.

Ginny
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 09:46 pm:

If I had a penis for a day, I would enjoy earning 22% more than I normally do.  If I could have it for a year I’d wind up with more than 8 grand in my pocket.

More money, and I’d get to pee standing up.  The magical penis:  what CAN’T it do?

buffalo bill
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 10:43 pm:

the best mangina scene in a movie was Buffalo Bill in “Silence of the Lambs” to the tune of Q Lazzarus’ “Goodbye Horses”

Check it out and it’ll either stop being funny, or even more funny, depending on how twisted you are.

dew
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 11:11 pm:

1. *IF* my husband could also be female during the same time, we’d both do oral sex on each other to see what it felt like, and also to learn exactly what felt good so we could drive each other insane with pleasure when we got back into our own bodies.

2. I would do the twist naked, with an erection, and watch it bouncing all over the place. I’d probably giggle a lot.

Who wouldn’t be aroused by the sight of a naked man with an erection, doing the twist while giggling?

looseparts
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 11:53 pm:

Linda says she go land a better job ; - )

This has been an enjoyable topic for my wife and I. Thanks.

Ladies, since your penis would be new and something you were not use to, I must caution not to zip your pants until you’ve safely tucked the little handsome devil out of harms way. The underside is very, very tender. Most little boys make this error only once.

Josh
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 11:55 pm:

“I would do the twist naked, with an erection, and watch it bouncing all over the place. I’d probably giggle a lot.”

FYI, it kind of hurts when we do that.

Dildo Saggins
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 11:57 pm:

The truth is, if women think it would be fascinating to have a penis, they would be right, judging by the behavior of my friends and me through the years. When we were teens, we were always whipping it out. When girlfriends were over, we would play a game where we would whip it out behind her back while she was talking, and no one would let her in on the joke. I even dangled it right behind a girl’s head once. Good times. We did the mangina every day. The fun didn’t stop with the real thing. We once fashioned one out of Play-doh while a friend was sleeping with his mouth open and took photos of it on the edge of his mouth, etc. If you were sitting down, and had your head turned, the trick was to put it next to the guy’s cheek and then tap on his shoulder so he turned his head quickly and got a cheek full. Scary part is, we are now in our 30s, have wives and MANY children between us, and the moment we are all away from the families together, the same #### goes on. The dongs come out everywhere.

Gas
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 12:21 am:

The penis is a topic of endless amusement for me and my friends. We play the penis showing game, and not only to kick each other in the ass and the endless ridicule we give each other for looking at other people’s penis. Its just fun to play with and we have come up with many variations of the game.
Also, my favorite place to pee outdoors is while I’m fishing. Its very fun to stand up on shore, on the dock or on the boat, whip it out and start peeing. And it doesn’t matter if anyone else is right there, as long as they don’t stare at it.

On one last note, I would love to have a vagina for a day or a week. I would probably masturbate first, then have sex just to compare the feeling. I would then proceed to play with it as much as I could.

Natalia
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 01:33 am:

I would like to have a dark 15 inch penis with about 4 inch diameter.  Rock hard, I would stab people in the chest and then utter the famous phrase, “Stick around.”

Perceptor
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 02:03 am:

Growing up...I avoided viewing other guys weiners as much as possible.  That’s right, I typed weiners, it’s fun to say and type.  Anyhow, the zipper thing, it’s especially worse if you’ve never seen a knife down there, if you know what I mean.  I’ve got a scar that I say I got in WW II (I’m only 29). I think if you’re going to have a wang for a day (yep, I changed it up because that’s how I roll) you should get to pick if you won’t the whole shebang or the edited version. 

The unabridged version would afford you a whole new set of penile skills to let loose upon the world like: the balloon, smiley, peek-a-boo, hide the quarters and my favorite...chewing gum. 

Please tell me this isn’t foreskin biased.

Casey R Williams
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 02:11 am:

Ginny:  Women only make less at the top.  Waitresses make way more per hour than dishwashers.

Of course, actual milage may vary.

SpamBUSTERS
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 03:54 am:

Since most guys think they automatically are better, smarter, more entitled to act like a=holes, etc because they have a penis, I would like to see if having a penis does give a person INSTANT SUPERIORITY over those who don’t have such an appendage!

LG
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 06:05 am:

Not every girl wants to know… atleast not ME… I mean I Adore my husband and I am Quite attached to his D**k… On HIM--thank you very much, but I sure dont want one. I am quite pleased with the female anatomy I have been blessed with and would likely just Freak out and spend the day trying to figure out how the He** to get if off!!!! LOL....And I have to say reading all the stories of what guys actually DO with their D**ks I am quite happy to remain ignorant and play with my Own body parts thanks...plus I can orgasm 4-5 times in 15 minutes. Let’s see my hubby’s D**k do that and I might be more inclined to check out all the hype LOL.... …

Merlinus
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 06:42 am:

I would be the happiest man alive if I could have a penis for a day. I would be sad to see it go.

Randallphobia
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 07:30 am:

To all the guys who say that they whip it out in front of their friends: WTF? I’ve accidentally glimpsed a couple of my friends’ dicks (peeping out of boxers, drunk roommate passed out while masturbating & thus ruining my morning when I find a 6’6” unconscious naked man cupping his balls on the couch with a smile, etc...).
For the ladies who say that they’d pee all over everything: I think that most guys go through this phase from about age 3 until some point in our teen years. It also becomes a drinking game! A former roommate (see the nudist above) & I would get drunk, walk outside (we were miles out in the country), whip it out while being careful not to look at each-others’ units, & try to hit things from great distances.
Now, I just try to do penis puppet shows for my wife. She tells me that, if I ever do it in public, to enjoy sitting in jail because she’s not bailing me out.

Biff Muscleworth
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 07:42 am:

As a man, I would dread the possibility of having a vagina. It’s already the source of all our problems, having one stuck to me would be disastrous.

That said, if I had one, I’d explore its many practical storage capabilities. It’s like a little nook for your cellphone, provided you keep it in a ziploc baggie so you don’t have to smell your own trench stench when it’s next to your ear.

Nick
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 08:24 am:

As a man, wondered how it would be to have a vagina? Well sort of. What I have wondered is how it would be to experience a female orgasm, they seem to enjoy it more. Also penis is by no means as discrete or with so much variety in terms of how you can use it.

Ohh and if your want to see what it feels like to be kicked in the balls? Get somebody to kick you in the eyes, balls are about that fragile.
Also, a note to females, a penis can be really embarrassing. You try walking around all day with a thing that pokes out so everyone can see whenever you think of sex. This is far worse when you’re a teenager because it doesn’t take much to make it pop up when you’re that young. By the time you’re an adult, you need to really have a proper fantasy to make it come up not just a passing thought.
Lets try and convey the idea of it so a female can fully understand… imagine if every time you thought of sex or someone you liked, your pants fell off. And imagine having to deal with that while in public.
A penis is plenty of fun but has disadvantages. I think I’d rather have a female anatomy, they have a lot more complicated and interesting sex organ.

SnarfVader
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 08:25 am:

I think LG hit it on the head (pun intended). How could you ever think about giving up multiple orgasms? The closest us guys can get is to build up really close and then back off. Once we go over the top, that’s it. And if we go really early there’s not really much pleasure in it at all. Giving up the chance to orgasm again and again in a single lovemaking session is mind boggling to me.

WhorseThief
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 08:30 am:

I would use mine to feed peanut butter to my girlfriends.

Nick
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 08:39 am:

PS
Ohh, and the best part about having a penis? Ejaculation. It’s lots of fun to shoot a bunch of goo a few feet. It’s like having your own personal fireworks device. Not so much fun to clean up though.

anon
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 08:51 am:

As a man, i have never, until now, wondered what its like to have a vagina… thanks guys :/

Turkey
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 09:08 am:

Gotta agree with Nick there.
As any teenager will tell you, the penis is often a horrifyingly semaphoric thing. It’ll only pop up at the most inappropriate of moments, and it’s nigh impossible to quell on command, because as soon as you notice it’s there, your mind goes straight to sex.

Girls! We can’t help iiiiittttt! Please don’t judge me based on my socially wayward wang! Hellllpppp.

Zoidburg
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 09:38 am:

Wow, I’ve never realized how many things I’ve taken for granted in my life.  There’s still so much more to do too...Thank you women!

Michael's Ferret
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 11:05 am:

I wonder all the time what it would be like to have a vagina. If a woman can orgasm 4-5 times in 15 minutes, I don’t think I’d ever leave the house!!

Kris
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 11:26 am:

Thanks to this article, I was in the middle of sex wondering what it was like for her.

I don’t think that I’d ever put on cloths. phallic shaped objects would not be safe!

ELMOtheGREAT
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 12:02 pm:

looking for random stuff online i think i’ll paint a picture instead.

Aaron
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 12:45 pm:

Like RandallPhobia, all I can say is “WTF?” I have never in my life done any of the crap that other guys in this thread claim they do.  Who DOES that?

My pants stay on around other guys, and theirs around me.  Thanks.

WTF.

Alex
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 12:51 pm:

@ SnarfVader:

we guys CAN have multiple Orgasms. takes a while to learn though. You have to train your PC muscle so that you gain control over its spasms when reaching orgasm. that way you can hold in the cum while still having the feeling of the orgasm. When you finally let loose afer 3 or 4 times you come even harder. Good stuff!

Look up this site if interested:
http://www.whitelotuseast.com/MultipleOrgasm.htm

mikey
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 01:07 pm:

I’ve often wondered what having a vulva and vagina would be like. I’d like to try for a whole month just to see what having a period is like too. I can only wonder at what going through an entire menstrual cycle must be like. I’m not sure I’d like to be the target of catcalls and other obnoxious male behaviour either. I’d probably end up being happy I’m a guy.

The pros: as LG said, multiple orgasms would definitely rock, practically unlimited sexual capacity, or at least it seems. Having a baby would be pretty cool, too.

The cons: periods and everything related to them, being female in a still male-dominated society.

Kris #2
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 01:10 pm:

I can’t understand the idea of whipping out your penis infront of one’s male friends… being in one’s teens is also so difficult with a penis! The dam thing always popping up and as someone above me said, making you think of sex in the most inappropriate times!
It happened to me where I was talking to my girlfriends mother and my girlfriend was walking around behind her in hot pants and a tank top… My little guy was going mad and all I could think about was her naked while I was talking to her mother. :D

Thinking back now it’s obviously a damn good laugh! Although i’ve never been sure if her mother saw it or not, but it’s always been a little wierd since then!

mikey
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 01:10 pm:

I entirely forgot to mention how awesome having an organ devoted solely to pleasure would be. Hmmm, clitoris envy?

stygyan
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 01:26 pm:

I’ve always wondered, on the other side, how does it feel to have a vagina and that lil piece of meat called clitoris.

I’m bisex, so I’ve experiences both doin the sex and being done, but i think it could be pretty different.

And I was a manwhore. Guys and girls and everything i could get off with. Now I’m dating a guy… and I’m missing being a slut.

lestat1970
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 01:35 pm:

I would like women to have many different sized and shaped penis’s and go threw dating with women so they can understand what stupid idiotic size matters debate really is.

WhatNotTouse
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 02:34 pm:

While it’s mean to mix some jalapeno juice into a bottle of personal lubricant, it’s also very entertaining.  No permanent damage, but the entertaining memories last a lifetime.  Trying to cleanse the area only makes it worse… Anyway, other things that don’t make good lube:

Hair gel - second degree chemical burns.
“SoftScrub” - third degree chemical burns.
Blood - not slick, just sticky.
WD-40 - why would you even think of this???

XJS GUY
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 02:47 pm:

“You know how in the Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee sex tape, Tommy put his penis between his legs like a woman? I would do that, just to freak people out.”—Cassie

I’ve done it and, yes, it does freak women out.lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“2. I would do the twist naked, with an erection, and watch it bouncing all over the place. I’d probably giggle a lot.
Dew

I do this sometime butt, it’s better when it’s soft as it slaps around from hip to hip & looks really funny.
I’m partial(very) to women with a good sense of humor and, we usually end up laughing a lot before/during/after sex.
We laugh a lot without sex also.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And part of me would want to be kicked in the balls, just to see why guys act like such wimps about it.”
Julia

Trust me, you do NOT want that experience.
Would you enjoy a root canal without novocain?
There you have it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes ladies, it is fun having a dick.
I would not want to have a vagina.
Of course, if I had both and someone tells me to go screw myself, I could just smile and let them wonder.lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

““I think I would draw a happy face on the tip and make the pee hole talk. My wiener would say, ‘Hi Amelia, how are you today?’ I would be pretty busy that day, actually.”—Colleen

Can you picture a couple of gay guys having an argument?lol

Red
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 02:56 pm:

Oaky if the roles were reversed and I had a vagina, here’s what I’d do. I’ve put a lot of thought into this.

I would get a nice TV, a leather reclining chair, stereo, a standing lamp and a pair of sunglasses. I would put in a maxwell cassette tape into the stereo, press play, bend over backwards on the chair and just see what happens.

j.r. wizzle
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 03:46 pm:

all the girls that said they would just fondle it all day if yall need 1 to fondle all day hit me up i dont think my willy wonka would mind lol

mikey
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 04:10 pm:

I suppose that depends on how they caress it. If they do it like they caress their clits, that could go on all day.

Each time I’ve jacked off for a girlfriend, they’ve all been surprised by the energy I was putting into it, which was just normal for me.

And every guy should know that when caressing a woman, the rule of thumb (or finger) is to go gently, the cut that in half again. When you finally think you’ve got the pressure right, you reduce it by half once again.

Kris
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 04:19 pm:

Trust me, the once or twice I’ve rubbed too hard, my wife let me know!

Ladies, in case you haven’t figured it out, proper manipulation of the penis can control the mind. Do it just right & you can convince the owner of said penis to agree to just about anything. Are you sure that you want this kryptonite?

Just another guy
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 06:24 pm:

I asked a girl this question once.  She said she’d jump up and down with a hard on to see if it feels as goofy as it looks.

FullyEquipped
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 06:27 pm:

Hilarious article. Dicks really are fun to play with! I’ve enjoyed playing with mine for a very long time. I especially enjoy twisting my body from side to side, quickly, while ‘soft’, so that it makes a thwack-thwack sound when it hits my hips, ‘cause it makes my wife cringe.
Girls, if you have the chance, play with your boyfriend’s/hubby’s dick. For a long time. Talk to it, caress it, oil it slowly. Take hours. Trust me, he won’t mind.

Michelle
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 07:06 pm:

i would totally pee so every1 could see my awesome penis. i would also like totally masturbate & se y guys like it so much & totally have sex with guys & girls. i would such a man-whore because i would have a dick i would totally take advantage of that 4 the day & do it all. i might even run around naked. id want sum1 to kick me in the balls & see if its worse than sum1 punching u in the boob. hmm wht else do guys do...oh yea...theres all these rules in the bathroom. i would totally look @ the guy next to me idk if he thought i was gay, i wanna know what his dick looks like compared to mine. lol like in anger management. hmm...it might actually be awesome to do sumthing with your ex...but if he’s not gay then you cant do much...OH but i would have “hang overs” [which the guys i know call their “sleepovers"] just 2 see wht guys talk about & play video games all nite. soo yea i think having a dick would be awesome...even more awesome when i would have my period.

Michelle
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 07:11 pm:

i would totally pee so every1 could see my awesome penis. i would also like totally masturbate & se y guys like it so much & totally have sex with guys & girls. i would such a man-whore because i would have a dick i would totally take advantage of that 4 the day & do it all. i might even run around naked. id want sum1 to kick me in the balls & see if its worse than sum1 punching u in the boob. hmm wht else do guys do...oh yea...theres all these rules in the bathroom. i would totally look @ the guy next to me idk if he thought i was gay, i wanna know what his dick looks like compared to mine. lol like in anger management. hmm...it might actually be awesome to do sumthing with your ex...but if he’s not gay then you cant do much...OH but i would have “hang overs” [which the guys i know call their “sleepovers"] just 2 see wht guys talk about & play video games all nite. soo yea i think having a dick would be awesome...even more awesome when i would have my period. ne ways guys have such an advantage of it too. it’d be pretty hott.

Republican King
wrote on September 01 2008 @ 07:53 pm:

Based on the “frisky poll” results on the right, there must be a lot of liberal douche-bags here.

dudeinthehouse