Sound Off: What Would You Do If You Had A Penis For A Day?
Posted by: Amelia McDonell-Parry
Filed in:
sex
10:00AM, Saturday December 13th 2008
To any guys reading this post—this is indeed a conversation most women have in their lifetime with their friends. We are fascinated by that thing dangling between your legs. What it feels like there, how pants fit comfortably, what it’s like when you’re standing at a urinal and are tempted to glance at the dude next to you. And yes, what it feels like to have sex with one of us. So with that in mind, I polled some of the ladies I know to find out what exactly they would do if they had a manhood for a moment, a schlong for a spell, a willie for a week, a d—k for a day—above is the convo that Sexpert Lindsay and I had over IM, and the rest are after the jump. But one thing I’m wondering of you—do guys ever theorize about what they would do if they had a vagina?
“I’d check out this whole urinal thing. The etiquette of urinal peeing fascinates me. Can I look down at the dude next to me to compare? Do I have to stare straight ahead? How does that WORK, exactly? If I was a dude, I think every single time I’d walk into the bathroom and some guy was peeing in a urinal, I’d feel like I walked in on them! ‘Oops! Sorry, didn’t know someone was in here.’ Awkward.” —Jocelyn
“I would sit on the subway with my legs spread open taking up the entire seat. I hate when men do that.” —Kelly
“I would have tons of sex. I think sex is probably way better for dudes.” —Layla
“I wouldn’t want an actual d—k. But I would want to be a guy because then I could be powerful without seeming like I’m a bitch. Like, I could BE a d—k.” —Catherine
“I would want to have sex with a woman, but in the way that girls just can’t—like different positions, doggy-style and stuff. Honestly, I don’t think I could have an orgasm in many of the positions that men can.” —Louisa
“I would pee standing up, in public, just because I could.” —Anna
“You know how in the Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee sex tape, Tommy put his penis between his legs like a woman? I would do that, just to freak people out.” —Cassie
“I would have sex with every woman I possibly could, to see how it felt physically and to see how it felt emotionally to be a total man-whore.” —Jenn
“Masturbate. A lot. In the shower though, because even as a guy, sperm would gross me out.” —Brie
“Seriously, I don’t think I would be able to stop touching it. I would just fondle myself all day.” —Erin
“Do I get balls too? I think that’s really the part that would be the most fun and fascinating. And part of me would want to be kicked in the balls, just to see why guys act like such wimps about it. Oh and I would definitely tea bag someone and take a picture.” —Julia
“First I would pee in as many spots as possible outside. Then I would write my name with it.” —Meaghan
“I would pee on people’s heads from a roof and then write my name in the snow.”—Lauren
“I think I would draw a happy face on the tip and make the pee hole talk. My wiener would say, ‘Hi Amelia, how are you today?’ I would be pretty busy that day, actually.” —Colleen
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Croutons
wrote on August 28 2008 @ 10:26 am: [report]
I would dress it up in doll clothes and put on a little puppet show!
theothergyllenhaal
wrote on August 28 2008 @ 12:28 pm: [report]
Jocelyn: Eyes straight ahead. Glancing is even worse than a wide stance.
Anna: My suggestion: Go for a hike. Nothing makes you feel better about having a penis than taking a leak on a tree. It’s empowering.
Cassie: We call that the mangina. Never. Gets. Old.
Brie: A man-tip: Avoid the conditioner.
Julia: You’ll regret the kick to the balls, less for the split-second of excruciating pain than for the 10 minutes of nausea afterward.
Colleen: That’s exactly why women should never be allowed to have penises.
Joanne
wrote on August 28 2008 @ 12:37 pm: [report]
Yes Colleen….that’s exactly what I was thinking while I was chuckling reading all of the entries. It sure is a good thing we don’t. Same thing with guys and Boobies!
Lola
wrote on August 28 2008 @ 06:50 pm: [report]
I’d do my boyfriend in the a$$ so he can stop begging me to do it! He’d stop asking cuz the 1st time it’s painful !!!!
Amelia
wrote on August 28 2008 @ 07:25 pm: [report]
@Lola Hell YES. Good one.
Daniel Purvis
wrote on August 28 2008 @ 07:56 pm: [report]
O.k. Had to chime in on this discussion.
“I’d check out this whole urinal thing. The etiquette of urinal peeing fascinates me. Can I look down at the dude next to me to compare? Do I have to stare straight ahead? How does that WORK, exactly? If I was a dude, I think every single time I’d walk into the bathroom and some guy was peeing in a urinal, I’d feel like I walked in on them! ‘Oops! Sorry, didn’t know someone was in here.’ Awkward.”—Jocelyn
I’m with theothergyllenhaal on this one. However, it’s quite acceptable to continue entire conversations while taking a piss, without pause, from unzipping, pissing, through to washing the hands and opening the door. Once you actually LEAVE the toilet premises, however, it’s best not to acknowledge you ever conversed.
“Masturbate. A lot. In the shower though, because even as a guy, sperm would gross me out.”—Brie
Ejaculate actually goes stringy, and sticky, when combined with water, it’s actually HARDER to get off than if you just whack it into a tissue. In fact, if you jerk in the shower, it’s likely to get stuck to the bottom of your feet, which is pretty annoying.
“I think I would draw a happy face on the tip and make the pee hole talk. My wiener would say, ‘Hi Amelia, how are you today?’ I would be pretty busy that day, actually.”—Colleen
I’ve done that. Honestly, I’m REALLY surprised there aren’t more live-action videos of penis-hole conversations. I’m sure they’d be hillarious.
Amelia
wrote on August 28 2008 @ 08:06 pm: [report]
@Daniel Regarding your second point. I have noticed this. I have wondered for years WHY that is. No one has been able to tell me though.
Amelia
wrote on August 28 2008 @ 08:09 pm: [report]
@theothergyllenhaal So, wait, it’s pretty typical for guys to do the mangina? Like, for each other? As entertainment? I am so jealous I am not a dude sometimes.
theothergyllenhaal
wrote on August 29 2008 @ 08:36 am: [report]
@Amelia: It’s not like I’ll be sitting around with friends and they’ll all go, “Dude, do the mangina for us!” More that you break it out when they least expect it. I’ve been known to interrupt my roommate’s webcam chats by walking into his room and doing the mangina in the background.
But I’m not a particularly classy guy.
LoLo
wrote on August 29 2008 @ 08:38 am: [report]
If Icould have a penis for a day… Id want my penis to be huge! I would screw everyone who ever screwed me Good or bad and see how they like it!!!!
theothergyllenhaal
wrote on August 29 2008 @ 09:35 am: [report]
LoLo, you should never wield a penis in anger.
Lea
wrote on August 29 2008 @ 04:31 pm: [report]
I wouldn’t be able to resist getting it hard then taping a paintbrush to it and painting a penis picture.
Muffaletta
wrote on August 30 2008 @ 03:03 pm: [report]
I think the significance of this “penis for a day” lies mostly in the fact that you haven’t grown up with a penis. There are plenty of fascinating things about penises, but they have become less of a novelty after spending so much time becoming familiar with them. I’m sure if we (men) all had the chance to have a vagina and clitoris for a day, we’d be equally impressed, as long as we didn’t get a day of high tides, if you will.
Bill
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 08:34 pm: [report]
I’m a guy and i enjoy this discussion and trust me, i wouldn’t want a pussy for a day-guys will screw you and before you realize what has happened, they’ve COME and gone. You’re left high and dry.
Ginny
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 08:46 pm: [report]
If I had a penis for a day, I would enjoy earning 22% more than I normally do. If I could have it for a year I’d wind up with more than 8 grand in my pocket.
More money, and I’d get to pee standing up. The magical penis: what CAN’T it do?
buffalo bill
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 09:43 pm: [report]
the best mangina scene in a movie was Buffalo Bill in “Silence of the Lambs” to the tune of Q Lazzarus’ “Goodbye Horses”
Check it out and it’ll either stop being funny, or even more funny, depending on how twisted you are.
dew
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 10:11 pm: [report]
1. *IF* my husband could also be female during the same time, we’d both do oral sex on each other to see what it felt like, and also to learn exactly what felt good so we could drive each other insane with pleasure when we got back into our own bodies.
2. I would do the twist naked, with an erection, and watch it bouncing all over the place. I’d probably giggle a lot.
Who wouldn’t be aroused by the sight of a naked man with an erection, doing the twist while giggling?
looseparts
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 10:53 pm: [report]
Linda says she go land a better job ; - )
This has been an enjoyable topic for my wife and I. Thanks.
Ladies, since your penis would be new and something you were not use to, I must caution not to zip your pants until you’ve safely tucked the little handsome devil out of harms way. The underside is very, very tender. Most little boys make this error only once.
Josh
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 10:55 pm: [report]
“I would do the twist naked, with an erection, and watch it bouncing all over the place. I’d probably giggle a lot.”
FYI, it kind of hurts when we do that.
Dildo Saggins
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 10:57 pm: [report]
The truth is, if women think it would be fascinating to have a penis, they would be right, judging by the behavior of my friends and me through the years. When we were teens, we were always whipping it out. When girlfriends were over, we would play a game where we would whip it out behind her back while she was talking, and no one would let her in on the joke. I even dangled it right behind a girl’s head once. Good times. We did the mangina every day. The fun didn’t stop with the real thing. We once fashioned one out of Play-doh while a friend was sleeping with his mouth open and took photos of it on the edge of his mouth, etc. If you were sitting down, and had your head turned, the trick was to put it next to the guy’s cheek and then tap on his shoulder so he turned his head quickly and got a cheek full. Scary part is, we are now in our 30s, have wives and MANY children between us, and the moment we are all away from the families together, the same #&@$% goes on. The dongs come out everywhere.
Gas
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 11:21 pm: [report]
The penis is a topic of endless amusement for me and my friends. We play the penis showing game, and not only to kick each other in the ass and the endless ridicule we give each other for looking at other people’s penis. Its just fun to play with and we have come up with many variations of the game.
Also, my favorite place to pee outdoors is while I’m fishing. Its very fun to stand up on shore, on the dock or on the boat, whip it out and start peeing. And it doesn’t matter if anyone else is right there, as long as they don’t stare at it.
On one last note, I would love to have a vagina for a day or a week. I would probably masturbate first, then have sex just to compare the feeling. I would then proceed to play with it as much as I could.
Natalia
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 12:33 am: [report]
I would like to have a dark 15 inch penis with about 4 inch diameter. Rock hard, I would stab people in the chest and then utter the famous phrase, “Stick around.”
Perceptor
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 01:03 am: [report]
Growing up…I avoided viewing other guys weiners as much as possible. That’s right, I typed weiners, it’s fun to say and type. Anyhow, the zipper thing, it’s especially worse if you’ve never seen a knife down there, if you know what I mean. I’ve got a scar that I say I got in WW II (I’m only 29). I think if you’re going to have a wang for a day (yep, I changed it up because that’s how I roll) you should get to pick if you won’t the whole shebang or the edited version.
The unabridged version would afford you a whole new set of penile skills to let loose upon the world like: the balloon, smiley, peek-a-boo, hide the quarters and my favorite…chewing gum.
Please tell me this isn’t foreskin biased.
Casey R Williams
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 01:11 am: [report]
Ginny: Women only make less at the top. Waitresses make way more per hour than dishwashers.
Of course, actual milage may vary.
SpamBUSTERS
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 02:54 am: [report]
Since most guys think they automatically are better, smarter, more entitled to act like a=holes, etc because they have a penis, I would like to see if having a penis does give a person INSTANT SUPERIORITY over those who don’t have such an appendage!
LG
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 05:05 am: [report]
Not every girl wants to know… atleast not ME… I mean I Adore my husband and I am Quite attached to his D**k… On HIM—thank you very much, but I sure dont want one. I am quite pleased with the female anatomy I have been blessed with and would likely just Freak out and spend the day trying to figure out how the He** to get if off!!!! LOL….And I have to say reading all the stories of what guys actually DO with their D**ks I am quite happy to remain ignorant and play with my Own body parts thanks…plus I can orgasm 4-5 times in 15 minutes. Let’s see my hubby’s D**k do that and I might be more inclined to check out all the hype LOL….
...
Merlinus
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 05:42 am: [report]
I would be the happiest man alive if I could have a penis for a day. I would be sad to see it go.
Randallphobia
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 06:30 am: [report]
To all the guys who say that they whip it out in front of their friends: WTF? I’ve accidentally glimpsed a couple of my friends’ dicks (peeping out of boxers, drunk roommate passed out while masturbating & thus ruining my morning when I find a 6’6” unconscious naked man cupping his balls on the couch with a smile, etc…).
For the ladies who say that they’d pee all over everything: I think that most guys go through this phase from about age 3 until some point in our teen years. It also becomes a drinking game! A former roommate (see the nudist above) & I would get drunk, walk outside (we were miles out in the country), whip it out while being careful not to look at each-others’ units, & try to hit things from great distances.
Now, I just try to do penis puppet shows for my wife. She tells me that, if I ever do it in public, to enjoy sitting in jail because she’s not bailing me out.
Biff Muscleworth
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 06:42 am: [report]
As a man, I would dread the possibility of having a vagina. It’s already the source of all our problems, having one stuck to me would be disastrous.
That said, if I had one, I’d explore its many practical storage capabilities. It’s like a little nook for your cellphone, provided you keep it in a ziploc baggie so you don’t have to smell your own trench stench when it’s next to your ear.
Nick
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 07:24 am: [report]
As a man, wondered how it would be to have a vagina? Well sort of. What I have wondered is how it would be to experience a female orgasm, they seem to enjoy it more. Also penis is by no means as discrete or with so much variety in terms of how you can use it.
Ohh and if your want to see what it feels like to be kicked in the balls? Get somebody to kick you in the eyes, balls are about that fragile.
Also, a note to females, a penis can be really embarrassing. You try walking around all day with a thing that pokes out so everyone can see whenever you think of sex. This is far worse when you’re a teenager because it doesn’t take much to make it pop up when you’re that young. By the time you’re an adult, you need to really have a proper fantasy to make it come up not just a passing thought.
Lets try and convey the idea of it so a female can fully understand… imagine if every time you thought of sex or someone you liked, your pants fell off. And imagine having to deal with that while in public.
A penis is plenty of fun but has disadvantages. I think I’d rather have a female anatomy, they have a lot more complicated and interesting sex organ.
SnarfVader
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 07:25 am: [report]
I think LG hit it on the head (pun intended). How could you ever think about giving up multiple orgasms? The closest us guys can get is to build up really close and then back off. Once we go over the top, that’s it. And if we go really early there’s not really much pleasure in it at all. Giving up the chance to orgasm again and again in a single lovemaking session is mind boggling to me.
WhorseThief
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 07:30 am: [report]
I would use mine to feed peanut butter to my girlfriends.
Nick
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 07:39 am: [report]
PS
Ohh, and the best part about having a penis? Ejaculation. It’s lots of fun to shoot a bunch of goo a few feet. It’s like having your own personal fireworks device. Not so much fun to clean up though.
anon
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 07:51 am: [report]
As a man, i have never, until now, wondered what its like to have a vagina… thanks guys :/
Turkey
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 08:08 am: [report]
Gotta agree with Nick there.
As any teenager will tell you, the penis is often a horrifyingly semaphoric thing. It’ll only pop up at the most inappropriate of moments, and it’s nigh impossible to quell on command, because as soon as you notice it’s there, your mind goes straight to sex.
Girls! We can’t help iiiiittttt! Please don’t judge me based on my socially wayward wang! Hellllpppp.
Zoidburg
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 08:38 am: [report]
Wow, I’ve never realized how many things I’ve taken for granted in my life. There’s still so much more to do too…Thank you women!
Michael's Ferret
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 10:05 am: [report]
I wonder all the time what it would be like to have a vagina. If a woman can orgasm 4-5 times in 15 minutes, I don’t think I’d ever leave the house!!
Kris
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 10:26 am: [report]
Thanks to this article, I was in the middle of sex wondering what it was like for her.
I don’t think that I’d ever put on cloths. phallic shaped objects would not be safe!
ELMOtheGREAT
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 11:02 am: [report]
looking for random stuff online i think i’ll paint a picture instead.
Aaron
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 11:45 am: [report]
Like RandallPhobia, all I can say is “WTF?” I have never in my life done any of the crap that other guys in this thread claim they do. Who DOES that?
My pants stay on around other guys, and theirs around me. Thanks.
WTF.
Alex
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 11:51 am: [report]
@ SnarfVader:
we guys CAN have multiple Orgasms. takes a while to learn though. You have to train your PC muscle so that you gain control over its spasms when reaching orgasm. that way you can hold in the cum while still having the feeling of the orgasm. When you finally let loose afer 3 or 4 times you come even harder. Good stuff!
Look up this site if interested:
http://www.whitelotuseast.com/MultipleOrgasm.htm
mikey
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 12:07 pm: [report]
I’ve often wondered what having a vulva and vagina would be like. I’d like to try for a whole month just to see what having a period is like too. I can only wonder at what going through an entire menstrual cycle must be like. I’m not sure I’d like to be the target of catcalls and other obnoxious male behaviour either. I’d probably end up being happy I’m a guy.
The pros: as LG said, multiple orgasms would definitely rock, practically unlimited sexual capacity, or at least it seems. Having a baby would be pretty cool, too.
The cons: periods and everything related to them, being female in a still male-dominated society.
Kris #2
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 12:10 pm: [report]
I can’t understand the idea of whipping out your penis infront of one’s male friends… being in one’s teens is also so difficult with a penis! The dam thing always popping up and as someone above me said, making you think of sex in the most inappropriate times!
It happened to me where I was talking to my girlfriends mother and my girlfriend was walking around behind her in hot pants and a tank top… My little guy was going mad and all I could think about was her naked while I was talking to her mother. :D
Thinking back now it’s obviously a damn good laugh! Although i’ve never been sure if her mother saw it or not, but it’s always been a little wierd since then!
mikey
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 12:10 pm: [report]
I entirely forgot to mention how awesome having an organ devoted solely to pleasure would be. Hmmm, clitoris envy?
stygyan
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 12:26 pm: [report]
I’ve always wondered, on the other side, how does it feel to have a vagina and that lil piece of meat called clitoris.
I’m bisex, so I’ve experiences both doin the sex and being done, but i think it could be pretty different.
And I was a manwhore. Guys and girls and everything i could get off with. Now I’m dating a guy… and I’m missing being a slut.
lestat1970
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 12:35 pm: [report]
I would like women to have many different sized and shaped penis’s and go threw dating with women so they can understand what stupid idiotic size matters debate really is.
WhatNotTouse
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 01:34 pm: [report]
While it’s mean to mix some jalapeno juice into a bottle of personal lubricant, it’s also very entertaining. No permanent damage, but the entertaining memories last a lifetime. Trying to cleanse the area only makes it worse… Anyway, other things that don’t make good lube:
Hair gel - second degree chemical burns.
“SoftScrub” - third degree chemical burns.
Blood - not slick, just sticky.
WD-40 - why would you even think of this???
XJS GUY
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 01:47 pm: [report]
“You know how in the Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee sex tape, Tommy put his penis between his legs like a woman? I would do that, just to freak people out.”—Cassie
I’ve done it and, yes, it does freak women out.lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“2. I would do the twist naked, with an erection, and watch it bouncing all over the place. I’d probably giggle a lot.
Dew
I do this sometime butt, it’s better when it’s soft as it slaps around from hip to hip & looks really funny.
I’m partial(very) to women with a good sense of humor and, we usually end up laughing a lot before/during/after sex.
We laugh a lot without sex also.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“And part of me would want to be kicked in the balls, just to see why guys act like such wimps about it.”
Julia
Trust me, you do NOT want that experience.
Would you enjoy a root canal without novocain?
There you have it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes ladies, it is fun having a dick.
I would not want to have a vagina.
Of course, if I had both and someone tells me to go screw myself, I could just smile and let them wonder.lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
““I think I would draw a happy face on the tip and make the pee hole talk. My wiener would say, ‘Hi Amelia, how are you today?’ I would be pretty busy that day, actually.”—Colleen
Can you picture a couple of gay guys having an argument?lol
Red
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 01:56 pm: [report]
Oaky if the roles were reversed and I had a vagina, here’s what I’d do. I’ve put a lot of thought into this.
I would get a nice TV, a leather reclining chair, stereo, a standing lamp and a pair of sunglasses. I would put in a maxwell cassette tape into the stereo, press play, bend over backwards on the chair and just see what happens.
j.r. wizzle
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 02:46 pm: [report]
all the girls that said they would just fondle it all day if yall need 1 to fondle all day hit me up i dont think my willy wonka would mind lol
mikey
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 03:10 pm: [report]
I suppose that depends on how they caress it. If they do it like they caress their clits, that could go on all day.
Each time I’ve jacked off for a girlfriend, they’ve all been surprised by the energy I was putting into it, which was just normal for me.
And every guy should know that when caressing a woman, the rule of thumb (or finger) is to go gently, the cut that in half again. When you finally think you’ve got the pressure right, you reduce it by half once again.
Kris
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 03:19 pm: [report]
Trust me, the once or twice I’ve rubbed too hard, my wife let me know!
Ladies, in case you haven’t figured it out, proper manipulation of the penis can control the mind. Do it just right & you can convince the owner of said penis to agree to just about anything. Are you sure that you want this kryptonite?
Just another guy
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 05:24 pm: [report]
I asked a girl this question once. She said she’d jump up and down with a hard on to see if it feels as goofy as it looks.
FullyEquipped
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 05:27 pm: [report]
Hilarious article. Dicks really are fun to play with! I’ve enjoyed playing with mine for a very long time. I especially enjoy twisting my body from side to side, quickly, while ‘soft’, so that it makes a thwack-thwack sound when it hits my hips, ‘cause it makes my wife cringe.
Girls, if you have the chance, play with your boyfriend’s/hubby’s dick. For a long time. Talk to it, caress it, oil it slowly. Take hours. Trust me, he won’t mind.
Michelle
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 06:06 pm: [report]
i would totally pee so every1 could see my awesome penis. i would also like totally masturbate & se y guys like it so much & totally have sex with guys & girls. i would such a man-whore because i would have a dick i would totally take advantage of that 4 the day & do it all. i might even run around naked. id want sum1 to kick me in the balls & see if its worse than sum1 punching u in the boob. hmm wht else do guys do…oh yea…theres all these rules in the bathroom. i would totally look @ the guy next to me idk if he thought i was gay, i wanna know what his dick looks like compared to mine. lol like in anger management. hmm…it might actually be awesome to do sumthing with your ex…but if he’s not gay then you cant do much…OH but i would have “hang overs” [which the guys i know call their “sleepovers”] just 2 see wht guys talk about & play video games all nite. soo yea i think having a dick would be awesome…even more awesome when i would have my period.
Michelle
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 06:11 pm: [report]
i would totally pee so every1 could see my awesome penis. i would also like totally masturbate & se y guys like it so much & totally have sex with guys & girls. i would such a man-whore because i would have a dick i would totally take advantage of that 4 the day & do it all. i might even run around naked. id want sum1 to kick me in the balls & see if its worse than sum1 punching u in the boob. hmm wht else do guys do…oh yea…theres all these rules in the bathroom. i would totally look @ the guy next to me idk if he thought i was gay, i wanna know what his dick looks like compared to mine. lol like in anger management. hmm…it might actually be awesome to do sumthing with your ex…but if he’s not gay then you cant do much…OH but i would have “hang overs” [which the guys i know call their “sleepovers”] just 2 see wht guys talk about & play video games all nite. soo yea i think having a dick would be awesome…even more awesome when i would have my period. ne ways guys have such an advantage of it too. it’d be pretty hott.
Republican King
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 06:53 pm: [report]
Based on the “frisky poll” results on the right, there must be a lot of liberal douche-bags here.
dudeinthehouse
wrote on September 1 2008 @ 10:19 pm: [report]
Ok, so girls want to know what it is like to be kicked in the balls? They’re kind of like eyeballs hanging from you, except that when they’re hit hard, the pain shoots up inside your body, making your core ache unimaginably. The pain can make you literally unable to stand, and it seems to sort of build up to being even worse than it was right when you were kicked. While some guys might act and play a light kick into a big deal, we’re not acting when a real kick connects and drops us to the ground. It is involuntary and miserable.
Mister Happy's Fun-Time Jack-In-The-Box Playhouse
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 01:10 am: [report]
Another thing to bear in mind: when you have a penis, you can’t fake an orgasm.
I’m not sure if that’s an advantage or a disadvantage.
grey seal
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 02:10 am: [report]
well ladies, most of you say you’d like to have a penis….. but how would you like to have a very small penis? how would you like to be insecure about having a relationship because of your penis? how would you like to be laughed at by someone you love, and ridiculed not only behind your back, but to your face? how would you like to know that you can never really satisfy your partner, and always wondering if they might cheating on you…. or finding out for sure that they were cheating on you, just because of the size of your penis? And always feeling inadequite, not just in bed, but in all facets of your life, because you are “less of a man”..... Some of you wonder about peeing at urinals- how about being afraid to use a urinal while someone else is also, fearing that they just might glance over at it,..... and then coming out of the bathroom to a room full of giggles and stares?
Now ladies, do you want my penis for a day?
or a lifetime?
Al
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 03:49 am: [report]
“Another thing to bear in mind: when you have a penis, you can’t fake an orgasm.
I’m not sure if that’s an advantage or a disadvantage.”
Probably, but for a man I can’t ever think of a reason to fake one. Though man can orgasm w/o ejaculating. If I have sex or masterbate several times in one setting, eventually it seems like i’ll run out of semen or something but i can still have the orgasm w/o the ejaculation. so if I masterbate myself to orgasm three four times in one setting, by the time I have my third or fourth orgasm nothing comes out. The down side is that these orgasms are usually not as intese as the first.
Al
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 04:11 am: [report]
I was also thinking, do women have wet dreams? If you ever have a penis for a year, it’s usualy a little rare interesting experience to have. I guess it’s because of how these dreams are usually distinguished from normal dreams. But it always leaves a mess. I notice the longer I go without ejaculating, the better chance i’ll soon have a wet dream.
Matt
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 04:28 am: [report]
It is hawt to hear a woman fantasize about having a penis. Tho I wouldnt want to see one..
It would be interesting to try the bits of the opposite sex. A vagoo requires too much maintenance, with a wang it is fire and forget.
MrScience
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 06:49 am: [report]
Daniel Purvis
Ejaculate actually goes stringy, and sticky, when combined with water, it’s actually HARDER to get off than if you just whack it into a tissue. In fact, if you jerk in the shower, it’s likely to get stuck to the bottom of your feet, which is pretty annoying.
Amelia
@Daniel Regarding your second point. I have noticed this. I have wondered for years WHY that is. No one has been able to tell me though.
Maybe I can help with this. The reason it does that is because of the proteins in it. Its kinda like what happens to egg white when you poach it. The shower has to be warm, it wont happen so bad in cold water.
Tom Lake
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 07:14 am: [report]
Yes, some of us men do think about what it would be like to have a vagina and multiple orgasms. To me, the vagina looks rather unfinished no matter how great it tastes. It must be nice , though, to have everything internal and not dangling out where it can get hit, twisted, caught in zippers, etc.
somedude
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 07:36 am: [report]
You asked if men ever fantasized about having a vagina? The answer (based on most dudes I’ve talked to) is “NO”. Vaginas are complicated and messy. Lots of extra plumbing down there. Dicks are easy and clean. No extra maintenance. You don’t see dudes going to the dick-doctor for regular checkups. I have an butthole so I know what having an orifice feels like and I’m glad I only have 1…. not 2.
Durr
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 07:42 am: [report]
to the guys going on about multiple orgasms…
im not a girl, but i learned this from a girl. multiple orgasms aren’t all theyre cracked up to be. they decrease in intensity with each consecutive one. i guess thats just a secret women dont want you to know so they can hold leverage in these kinds of arguments :p
bacara33
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 07:57 am: [report]
wow…. until i read this discussion, i had no idea how many people thought/wondered about having a penis for a day… it has never even occured to me before.
and to the girl who said she wanted to be kicked in the balls… just to see what it feels like… all i can say is “are you completely mad???”
slapping it on counters to shock people sounds entertaining, but not enough so’s i’d want to exchange it for my vagina/clit combo… and even the possibility of zipping it up in things is kinda scary. nope. i think i’ll just stick with what i was born with. but thank you to all the guys who have responded with great usable information. very helpful, indeed, in the endless pursuit of trying to understand what exactly goes on in those “heads” of yours
no thanks. ive seen people shot/stabbed/burned, etc. and none of those look as painful as being kicked in the balls. =)
Roscoe
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 08:31 am: [report]
What a fun read!
I’ve always wanted to know what women would do with custom sets of man junk. Thank you!
Girls, if the tables were turned—you with mine, and me with yours—I’d spend my alloted time as a gift for you—wearing only earrings, a suntan, and sacrificial heels, and I’d repay every great session—just so as many of you as possible could understand the amazing favor you’re doing for the boys and to help you learn even more effective techniques for use upon your return to the truly decorative side of sex. I hope you’d do the same for me—all to improve everybody’s world, of course.
Multiple orgasms. Exhibitionist. Ardent slut without inhibitions. Sounds like a great way to spend a couple of weeks.
You babes rock!
miranda
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 08:52 am: [report]
i’d ask for a raise
JMG
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 09:14 am: [report]
I’d use it to try and stick in gorls like. I’m a virgin
Joe Kerr
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 11:39 am: [report]
Perhaps I’m shy, but I’m not one to whip that puppy out like a public exhibit. And I’m certainly into getting the bathroom business done as quickly as possible - with complete respect for the other guys’ privacy.
RE: mangina - only when I’ve tried to imagine what I’d look like if I had female plumbing instead of male.
RE: kicked in the balls - even a slight-graze can cause some “knock the wind outta’ ya’” breathlessness and make you walk with a strange gait for a bit. The harder the hit, the more pronounced the effect. I think the effect (not necessarily the feel) would be akin to something like a balloon inside of you instantly filling up to party-size… shocking.
I’ve wondered what it would be like both to be a girl and to experience sex from the female side. I could probably go on about the pros & cons for hours too. I even frequent a few sites that explore the very idea.
Starry Eyed
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 11:59 am: [report]
I’d totally want an uncircumcised one, it seems like way more fun. I think I’d just play with it all day.
tim
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 03:21 pm: [report]
Sometimes I wouldn’t mind getting rid of my penis—temporarily, of course! I obviously don’t know what having a vagina would be like, but it seems like it would be nice to have “things” out of the way for sports, biking or a few other occasions.
Funny posting, though.
Kris
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 04:03 pm: [report]
Republican King
wrote on September 01 2008:Based on the “frisky poll” results on the right, there must be a lot of liberal douche-bags here.
This was either intended to provoke, or it is one of the most ignorant statements that I have ever heard. Yes, there are ignorant fools on the extreme liberal side (I refuse to use your term), but living in the South, I see the opposite extreme MUCH more often & it is bad. I’m sure in the North you get liberal extremists, but we get conservative extremists. Extremists of either stripe are bad because they give the sane people on both sides a bad name. What about those of us who fall in the middle? I’m a social liberal, but a fiscal conservative (read that as an old fashioned Republican who was abandoned when the neo-con extremists took over). Careful lest you fall into the loud group that is closer to it’s opposite than those that it claims to support.
Palin’s daughter made a mistake, but I respect her family for sticking with her. As the product of a teen pregnancy with multiple degrees & a high paying job, I’m proof that, though the teen parents screwed up, the baby is not neccessarily a loss. I love my parents, but they did mess up. Palin, however probably wasn’t McCane’s best choice, but he’s stuck with her now.
Thus ends what I hope is my only political rant of the month. I’m sorry to turn loose like that.
multiman
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 05:21 pm: [report]
BTW: men *can* have multiple orgasms. It takes some practice, but i most certainly can be done. Look into it… everybody’s different, so there’s no “recipe” that’ll work for everyone.
J
wrote on September 2 2008 @ 08:29 pm: [report]
To the girl who said, she hates when men sit with there legs open… it’s a lot easier to keep them closed without said d—k. Just remember next time you’re sitting to a dude with his legs scrunched together, probably nothing there. At least no feeling.
Happy as a chick.
wrote on September 3 2008 @ 12:27 am: [report]
I don’t think I could give up orgasming 6 times in 15 minutes but I always thought it’d be funner to masturbate as a guy!
Heather
wrote on September 3 2008 @ 08:37 am: [report]
I would enjoy peeing standing up and not having to do the whole bathroom ritual us girls have to go through.
I might do some perverted things later on. Haven’t figured out what I would do with the other 23 hrs.
Peeing standing up would be the first.
brian
wrote on September 3 2008 @ 09:29 am: [report]
Im a guy, and uhh.. I don’t know what i’d do with my ‘vagina-for-a-day’.. Assuming I still look and feel like myself, sans the bulge, I guess I’d stay at home all day touching myself.. although I have no clue as to what type of porno I would have to watch at that point, considering my body would be so mentally conflicted with the whole thing. I think i’m gonna stick with my Wang.
brian
wrote on September 3 2008 @ 09:32 am: [report]
Oh and remember girls, you can’t have a penis without the balls. So remember, if you want that Thing for a day, you gotta lug around them two danglin’ balls as well. Let’s see how you like it then. I’ve spent 22 years of my life, learning how to protect them, I imagine if you had them for one day, you would injure yourself multiple times, and that #&@$% will make you cry :(
Lovin' Life
wrote on September 3 2008 @ 07:39 pm: [report]
The last time I laughed this hard staring at a screen was while watching Bill Cosby’s video “Himself”. Anyone agree?
Hey ladies… I’m a guy and I would LOVE to have an even BIGGER dangger than what I’ve got now! Not sure I’d do the things Lindsay and Amelia would do like blowing horns or slapping thing and such. But I just don’t see a downside to an absolute penisaurus.
mikey
wrote on September 3 2008 @ 10:26 pm: [report]
If my junk were changed into a female’s (I’m assuming we’re talking about vulvas here, not vaginas strictly speaking), I think it would be strange (at first at least) to look down towards my feet and not see anything between my legs. That would be strange, for me. Perhaps even stranger still would be not being able to see it directly at all. As a guy, you look down and see your stuff all the time. You play with it absentmindedly too. Having that all disappear would be quite odd.
hard sex
wrote on September 4 2008 @ 08:55 am: [report]
If i had penis for a day i would do every person in town and they would not get pregnant and bye the way a guy with big balls should be a stripper because he would make a lot of money pluss what more fun to do than show all girls your penis and let them touch it
Mack
wrote on September 4 2008 @ 11:36 am: [report]
Girls should experience sex with and without a condom. Just to see the difference.
stygyan
wrote on September 5 2008 @ 10:28 am: [report]
Condom: nothin’
No condom: Mom Palin gets in trouble
Sue
wrote on September 9 2008 @ 06:55 pm: [report]
Wow. I had no idea that men actually liked the taste of a women’s pussy. I just thought that men being very horny and sometimes easily turned on. were as eager to pleasure ” Said ” woman to get what he wants out of it as well. So on average every guy thats posted on here. How many times a day do you guys jerk off. And honestly I would think men would want a pair of really big boobs for a day. not a vagina. Hello. Tits are the real big turn on. I personally am a 42 DD bra cup size. and with all the men I’ve encountered. Single guys, married guys even guys old enough to be my grandpa but that arent. All stare at my tits. every chance they get. So I would think they would want a pair of really big boobs for the day. And good luck to you men out there you try carrying around 2 very big very heavy boobs that are hard on your back and spine. and damn near make you cripple sometimes.
Sue.
mikey
wrote on September 10 2008 @ 08:32 am: [report]
Personally, I love the way my gf tastes. I’ve only run into one woman whose pussy didn’t tast good, she had some kind of illness that made it taste metallic. She was embarassed about it.
Again, personally, I think all the fun stuff is down below. Sure boobies are nice, but you can only do so much w/ them while below the belt, the possibilities are limitless… euh, well, kinda…
I like smaller boobies myself. So, no not all guys like big tits! I like smaller ones and find them to be more elegant. Big boobies flap around too much, inmh.
I’m sure sporting a large pair of breast mush be back-breaking. What’s more, any kind of physical activity must be hellish on your upper body. Plus, as you say, guys always stare at them. That must not be very enjoyable.
Sue
wrote on September 10 2008 @ 11:52 am: [report]
well your right about that mike. It is a minor physical ailgment. But I dont make it makes me feel sexy. that so many men married and single check me out and stare at my boobs are used too. and just ingeneral I think its totally hot that, That many men want me so much. and actually there is one guy who,
I’ve been off and on with since last january.
He almost got a boner twice off of staring at my boobs and Im always fully clothed and dress very modestly. and he just kept checking me out and looking at me up and down and said ” Thats distracting ” and tried really hard to keep it down and soft around me. and he had a similar reaction to just my boobs this other time we sat together.
it was nice and he said how he wanted to put his arm around me and put his hand down my bra. uhhhh wow. I so wanted him too. but anyway there have been plenty of times he’s had this very visaral attraction to me.
Poor guy and he’s always so sweet and shy about his intentions too but yet. He only says and wants to do what I want he never tells me what he wants me to do to him. Oddly enough. So I told him that and he just blushed profussly and had like the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on any man.
And to answer the question I dont want a dick for a day. But I’ve always wanted to know what it would be like to be a guy for a day.
and I used to have this fanatasy about wanting trade bodies with the same guy I was talking about. I’d want to be him for a day and I’d want to undress him and check him out constantly without any clothes on.
And I’d probably play with him it alot. and Im not sure if he’d want to trade places with me but if he did he’d probably take my shirt off and constantly play with my boobs since he stares and looks at them alot as it is. and then once he was done doing that he’d probably take off my pants and panties and play with me all day.
See mike you have to be really into boobs and butts to understand the fascination. and your clearly not. your probably a leg and abs man right?
Sue.
Brittany
wrote on September 10 2008 @ 05:39 pm: [report]
I would pee out the window because it would be easier that haven to stop somewhere. Like on long trip just whip it out the window….haha like pushing the easy button….
mikey
wrote on September 10 2008 @ 09:39 pm: [report]
Actually, I really like butts, legs and abs are nice too. Who would refuse a pretty face w/ nice eyes and a friendly smile for that matter?
mikey
wrote on September 10 2008 @ 09:42 pm: [report]
Now there’s an idea! I’d never thought of peeing out of a (car) window… Don’t think it would be all that practical though. In fact, my guess is that you women would have an easier time plopping your your butt out the window and peeing away like that
Sue
wrote on September 11 2008 @ 11:15 am: [report]
See thus is my point. From what you said about you didnt really see much of a fascination with boobs. I thought yep your a leg and abs man. It just seemed obviouse by what you said
So anyway. I can understand that. Im a leg butt and abs woman myself. Thats probably why Im only attracted to tall and thin men. I seriously will not date a fat or even slightly over weight man.
Its a total turn off. So actually I can understand what you mean. But, at the same time I also need a man who likes the exzact opposite of what I like.
I can definatly see how opposites attract. So anyway.
but I was totally serious. I would want to trade bodies with that one guy I was talking about just to see what it be like to be him and to be a guy for a day. and not just to play with him or see him naked either. Just ingeneral.
Which also raises another good point. Why is it when guys get together with there other guy friends why do they do such such stupid stuff when they hang out together??? Is that just a guy thing??
Sue
wrote on September 11 2008 @ 12:48 pm: [report]
Exhibitionist. Ardent slut without inhibitions.
what in the world do these above words mean??
Sue
wrote on September 11 2008 @ 12:50 pm: [report]
Wow with all these men commenting and all these perspectives from a guy’s point of view. its like being inside a guys head or like being a guy for a day without actually trading genitalia. HA HA.
I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a guy for a day. hmmm. And I know you guys think about more than just sex. although that must be way up there on the list. LOL.
Sue
wrote on September 11 2008 @ 12:53 pm: [report]
and how in the world is peeing on a tree empowering??
I dont understand. But are guys soft while they pee I wonder??
and um, I actually thought it would be kind of hot to see the one guy your really attracted to see him pee because if he’s the drop your pants type you’d see his dick and ass during.
But seriously I think I’ve spent too much time thinking about this I think I need to get a life and not blog so much. HA HA.
Sue
wrote on September 11 2008 @ 12:55 pm: [report]
LoLo, you should never wield a penis in anger.
Ok theothergyllanhale. Why is that? I’ve heard you should never go to bed angry but. Im not sure I’ve ever heard your comment before.
Sue
wrote on September 11 2008 @ 05:44 pm: [report]
um kris if your so conservative and such a good guy why are you on this web site???
must be a lot of liberal douche-bags here.
Where as me. Im mostly just curious. and have alot of questions unanswered. Like what does Douche-bag really mean anyway??
Sue
wrote on September 11 2008 @ 05:53 pm: [report]
yeah but mister happy.
Another thing to bear in mind: when you have a penis, you can’t fake an orgasm.
I’m not sure if that’s an advantage or a disadvantage.
Actually, I saw this movie and this guy as soon as he went inside this one girl he started moaning and screaming in pleasure right away and he was moaning and screaming in orgasmic pleasure before he even had an erection. In her.
But even though he asked her politely 5 times do you want to do this. have you ever done this before it was contential sex. But afterwards even though felt good for both of them she felt cheap and dirty afterwards. it was so strange.
I guess I can see why sex was only intended for married people.
Sue
wrote on September 13 2008 @ 04:37 pm: [report]
Aaron just to comment on what you said.
1 some men not all but some men especially young ones are very immature at that age. and when they get together they do stupid stuff. Like that show jackass. and BAM. crazy physcho.
But he’s completely rich. And buys and pays for everything so I dont know why the mom bitches and complains so much if he’s paying for everything?
Sue
wrote on September 13 2008 @ 06:52 pm: [report]
The pros: as LG said, multiple orgasms would definitely rock, practically unlimited sexual capacity, or at least it seems. Having a baby would be pretty cool, too.
The cons: periods and everything related to them, being female in a still male-dominated society.
To follow up on these comments mikey.
Um, It hurts like hell to give birth or so I’ve heard. Like for example ask your mom. And while your pregant your slowly being stretched out from inside your very delecate very sensitive uterus. uhhhh and you retain alot of blood and guts and other gooo inside so your carrying around a baby that goes from a tiny little fertilized egg to 5-19 pound baby depending on how big it gets along with all the extra goo and stuff inside yeah no. Horribly uncomfortable.
and thats for 9 months and thats just until the little butterball has to be born and come out. Of a very small whole/opening. I hear that your pelvis bones actually spread open for a very small period of time so the baby’s head and body can even come out of the mother and the very small oraphis.
And living in a male dominated society isnt that bad for a woman. All we have to do is look pretty and hot. and we get whatever we want. and or we can flirt or cry or way into winning any arguement with a man especially in the bedroom. So its better to be a woman than a man less competition really.
Sue
wrote on September 13 2008 @ 06:56 pm: [report]
And no mikey we dont have clitorus envy but there is breast size envy. And women sometimes check each other out and size each other up at times.
Just to see if what we have is better than the other woman next to us I guess. Its strange human behavior.
jr
wrote on September 15 2008 @ 05:47 pm: [report]
i would so wanna do a woman and be a total man-whore
Harry
wrote on September 23 2008 @ 05:17 pm: [report]
The post asked whether or not men want a vagina. Perhaps for a day, but only for a day. I’m very thankful I’m not a woman. Vaginas just add to the complexity (and may be the primary cause of) of women. Also, I’d freak out if my penis started bleeding. I don’t know how you women tolerate it.
Sue
wrote on September 23 2008 @ 05:44 pm: [report]
Gotta agree with Nick there.
As any teenager will tell you, the penis is often a horrifyingly semaphoric thing. It’ll only pop up at the most inappropriate of moments, and it’s nigh impossible to quell on command, because as soon as you notice it’s there, your mind goes straight to sex.
Girls! We can’t help iiiiittttt! Please don’t judge me based on my socially wayward wang! Hellllpppp.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Actually to comment on this. I actually get really turned on by men when there full erect. I think thats so hot. I wonder how any of you keep it soft around women. Especially the ones your so deeply attracted to and vice versa. Actually there was one guy I talked to today. This sweet tall hot japanesse guy. I was just talking to him and I looked down at his pants and his dick and testicals were enlarged and he was so hard and his balls were so stiff and huge. he was big but not too big. I got so wet just looking at his hard on. I was so shocked and so turned on by his hard on. I mean we were just talking and he looked at my big boobs twice and got hard. and was just buldging out of his pants ooooh now that was hot. And that explains why he was giggling so much.
Samantha
wrote on September 23 2008 @ 05:51 pm: [report]
multiple orgasms aren’t all theyre cracked up to be. they decrease in intensity with each consecutive one. i guess thats just a secret women dont want you to know so they can hold leverage in these kinds of arguments.
One no we dont hold that over men’s heads to win an arguement. And no our multiple orgasiums dont fade with each one you idiot. Whatever woman told you that obviously didnt know how to get off.
Honestly. sometimes when Im rubbing my vagina or penetrating myself with a long mop handle and shoving it in and out of myself. It feels so good I just cant stop but eventually I do so I can stop and not having to stand there all day to get it all out of my system. Sometimes the orgasiums feel so good you just cant stop pleasuring yourself. Of course Im a recovering sex addict because it just feels so good. And even women want to feel sexy and desirable. Just not hit on all the time.
christine
wrote on September 23 2008 @ 09:14 pm: [report]
to all you whiners complaining about the spontaneous boner thing: don’t worry, chances are no one but you is paying enough attention to notice your slightly tented pants.
English George
wrote on September 23 2008 @ 10:17 pm: [report]
I’ve done most of the things with my Georgie that have been mentioned here. The best part is to feel ‘it’ bang against each leg when I walk.
ihatemybewbs
wrote on September 24 2008 @ 02:35 am: [report]
dude i dont know what youre talking about up there…
i freakin hate my DD boobs. theyre annoying and painful and i have huge stretchmarks all over, i wished for huge boobs when i was a kid and i got my wish. i would lose them completely if i could afford it.
Wolfie Rankin
wrote on September 24 2008 @ 04:50 am: [report]
All guys do the “mangina” never heard that word before though, it’s just a jokey thing most teenage boys realise they can do.
Guys do check each other out, even though the straight ones would probably die if they were caught. It’s basically because everyone sees faces, hands etc, but it’s hard to know if you’re normal until you see a range of other peoples bits.
Peeing on a tree is kind of wild I suppose, empowering? I dunno. maybe it’s nice to expose your parts to nature once in a while, I think women would get this too.
btw: I got here with stumble and am facinated.
There was a comment about semen being disgusting, it’s not, why is it? it’s good stuff that males make, it’s no worse than milk. Heck, whole industries revolve around milk and semen [google semex].
One of my penis fantasies would have been to pee out of a two story window… but the idea was that it would be from my own bedroom window and at the bottom would be a lemon tree [which you’re supposed to pee on anyway] nobody around looking, out in the country.
Erections when you’re a teen are embarrasing, it just happens at any moment, when you’re not even thinking of it.
I think boys got the penis because well… they’re boys… check this out, imagine a tv advert on a saturday morning.
“Yes it’s new penis, it’s floppy and it squirts water over four feet away”
Kid comment: WOW!
Retract the foreskin for an even messier effect, leave water on floors and seats!
“But wait, now it stiffens and grows to a huge five inch monster:
KC: “That’s amazing!”
“And watch this, just by rubbing it shoots freaky white gooey liquid in several directions at once!
KC “GROOOOOOOSS”
“Yes it’s all new penis, on sale now at all good toyshops… and NEW Mega-Penis, which hardens up to an amazing twelve inches.
“Only $49.95 from BoyToyz”
Wolfie!
Jer
wrote on September 24 2008 @ 10:06 am: [report]
The vagina just LOOKS so much better than a penis
Mia
wrote on September 24 2008 @ 10:07 am: [report]
“I was also thinking, do women have wet dreams? If you ever have a penis for a year, it’s usualy a little rare interesting experience to have. I guess it’s because of how these dreams are usually distinguished from normal dreams. But it always leaves a mess. I notice the longer I go without ejaculating, the better chance i’ll soon have a wet dream.”
I have experienced wet dreams once or twice. From what I remember I was dreaming something sexy and the orgasm woke me up, it was a very interesting thing to experience
MISS TAMMY
wrote on September 24 2008 @ 12:06 pm: [report]
ZOMG I WOULD DRIP CANDLE WAX ON IT!!!
Wolfie Rankin
wrote on September 24 2008 @ 11:13 pm: [report]
“and he was so hard and his balls were so stiff and huge.”
Stiff balls eh?
I’ve had a lot of stiffies but nothing much happened to the boys.
stygyan
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 11:21 am: [report]
Come on, Wolfie. I’ve had them stiff and huge: it’s called “lack of ejaculation”. When I’ve been without wanking for a pair of weeks, they surely felt stiff and huge.
Sue
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 01:23 pm: [report]
To Comment on what you asked. ” “I was also thinking, do women have wet dreams? “
No wet dreams are something only men have. But we girls get something similar. When were really turned on or being pleasured we get wet. and Secrete this slimmy goo its kind of snot like. Its like pre-cum. But ours is more gooey than runny and liquid like. Our cum well Its called vaginal secretion. not cum so there you go.
And on some days we sacrete and get wet just because our vagina’s clean themselves out. Or you can duche.
Wolfie Rankin
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 06:32 pm: [report]
I think it’s great that people are discussing male parts, which seem to have a taboo surrounding them.
It seems you can talk about most of the things women go through, but anything to do with men is iffy, people don’t like to speak of it.
Sex education was difficult. there was little mention of the male parts, and mostly the female anotomy was covered [a lot was still skimmed, and they left out mention of any pleasure whatsoever].
I wanted to know more about my parts, and asked the teacher who responded that the male parts were really simple, and left it like that.
I remember calendars of naked women in offices [eighties] but never saw any men.
Boys in the school library would get sex ed books and read about female anotomy, but not about male anatomy, if you did that you were obviously a “poofta” [gay].
So it’s difficult.
Happily though things are changing.
I hope for a day when sex is no more embarrassing as a sneeze.
Wolfie!
candie_pants
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 06:53 pm: [report]
I would beat off and sleep with as many women as possible.
LoveHugs
wrote on September 26 2008 @ 12:04 am: [report]
What a wonderful topic of conversation. (giggle) If I had a D*ck I wouldn’t have a menstrual cycle, so I would be the happiest woman on earth. And I agree with Lola, way up top, I would give it to my guy in the butt like he begs me to do all the time so HE can see how it feels! (I’d have to have a pretty big dick to make a good impact on that though… I’ve seen his potty after he takes a good one. ack!)
tuguvtyuvtyu
wrote on September 26 2008 @ 02:02 pm: [report]
omg thats grody
amused man
wrote on September 26 2008 @ 02:58 pm: [report]
No one here seems to have noticed the glorious irony that lies in all these women’s answers. At just the thought of having a dick, every one of them seems to instantly want to turn in to everything they usually can’t stand about men. So it seems that the only reason women don’t behave just as arsehole-ish as men is simply because they can’t.
Joy
wrote on September 26 2008 @ 03:15 pm: [report]
*amused man* So true so true
Stella(RRR!awr!)
wrote on September 26 2008 @ 03:38 pm: [report]
My name’s Stella, formerly Steven, and I don’t want my penis back! Ladies, it’s not that great! ... except for the pay, that’s so true. But have vaginal pride! It’s great to be a woman. The Bible always says it best:
“You are so beautiful, my beloved, so perfect in every part.” Song of Songs - Chapter 4:7
TNT
wrote on September 26 2008 @ 11:25 pm: [report]
@Lolo and anyone else who wanted to know why you should never wield a penis in anger:
Penises are meant for happy activities (both good sex and a good pee are happy activities). If you aren’t happy while using your penis, you need a little help in the noggin. There are men who do wield their penises in anger — they are called rapists and they are mean, creepy, fked up individuals, to say the least. They have lost all the joy of owning their penis.
And to whoever asked about whether it is soft or hard when we pee — it is soft, except sometimes when we get the ol’ morning wood. You think we miss the toilet bowl normally? It’s especially awkward at those moments, because it’s very difficult to aim properly without bending your whole body a certain way (you sure as heck can’t bend the penis right then).
Martin
wrote on September 27 2008 @ 03:55 am: [report]
I’ve always wondered what its like to be a woman instead, but god, I have to test theese things!
Synthia
wrote on September 27 2008 @ 01:25 pm: [report]
I would #&@$% a woman really, really hard—I mean completely and totally dominate her…then remain inside afterward, holding her to feel what must be an incredibly soft warmth…
Katy @ a Dofollow Blog
wrote on September 27 2008 @ 07:18 pm: [report]
For a day, I’ve had a husband for ten and a half years I don’t have to wonder what it is to have a d*ck!
Cliff
wrote on September 27 2008 @ 08:07 pm: [report]
If you ladies had a dick for a day, you’d find out just how hard it is to find someone to let you use it on them.
Amber
wrote on September 27 2008 @ 09:32 pm: [report]
First things first, I don’t need a penis to sleep with women. If I had a penis for a day I would pee on everything…..seriously everything I’d also do drag. I would hate to have penis though They’re repulsive.
Sue
wrote on September 29 2008 @ 10:59 pm: [report]
DAMN SYNTHIA. That sounds really really HOT. WOW. All I can continue to say is wow. If only you realy were a dude. A mind like that shouldn’t go to waste.
Sue
wrote on September 29 2008 @ 11:01 pm: [report]
Hey Amelia the new picture looks good. You very cute. and I mean that in a non-lesbo way. And not just that but. You always used to have something tied around your mouth so its good to see you also take normal pics too.
Are you into s&m;is that why you always had stuff tied around your mouth in pictures. are you also into masocisium??
Justin
wrote on September 30 2008 @ 06:10 pm: [report]
“I would #### a woman really, really hard—I mean completely and totally dominate her…then remain inside afterward, holding her to feel what must be an incredibly soft warmth…”
Hehe, ya that’s always fun. :D
Michael M.
wrote on September 30 2008 @ 09:36 pm: [report]
@Ginny, “If I had a penis for a day, I would enjoy earning 22% more than I normally do. If I could have it for a year I’d wind up with more than 8 grand in my pocket. More money, and I’d get to pee standing up. The magical penis: what CAN’T it do?”
Yeah, but then you’d have to work 50% more hours, more would be expected of you, and 1/2 of the parents wouldn’t let you near their kids because, as a penis-owner, you are automatically suspected of being an abuser, pedo, or rapist.
Ignore the troll
wrote on October 2 2008 @ 03:24 am: [report]
Please ignore the troll. I put the “extreme” “right-wing” and “nutjob” in “extreme right-wing nutjob” and I’m not bugged by this at all. My girlfriend and I are very open and sharing about this kind of stuff, we both find it fun and interesting.
Nate
wrote on October 3 2008 @ 09:31 am: [report]
“Penis Envy” is a terrific and somehow beautiful song by the Uncle Bonsai trio that discusses this at length. Check out lyrics at http://www.yellowtailrecords.com/lyrics/lyr_ub1.html. It’s hilarious.
Ditsy
wrote on October 3 2008 @ 02:11 pm: [report]
A woman has to work twice as hard to be considered half as good as a man.
Fortunately, this is not difficult.
Nikole
wrote on October 3 2008 @ 07:30 pm: [report]
i would jerk it out and show everyone.. and then i would measure it and take pictures of it!
BitchMidwife
wrote on October 5 2008 @ 03:34 pm: [report]
I would demand equal pay for equal work from my employer, and face down the bullies of years past and get payback.
fresh
wrote on October 14 2008 @ 12:54 pm: [report]
@ Julia.
If you want to know what its like to be kicked in the balls, get a male friend to flick you as hard as he can on your exposed clitoris - and then imagine the sensation is multiplied by 10 and accompanied by nausea lasting for 10’s of minutes.
fresh... again
wrote on October 14 2008 @ 01:57 pm: [report]
If you want equal pay…
- Don’t stand around chatting to your colleagues for 20-30 minutes at a time.
- Don’t consistently “offer” to do the easy jobs, as if you’re doing your colleagues a favour.
- Don’t be bitchy about your workmates.
- Learn to use the relevant technology, efficiently.
- Don’t use your own inadequacies as “evidence” for gender inequality - not everyone is a genius.
Follow this advice and you’ll earn the respect/trust/admiration of your employer because you’ll have proven that you’re a “team player” and an asset to the company.
This goes for both men and women BTW.
Mal
wrote on November 11 2008 @ 09:33 pm: [report]
Seriously, Id be #&@$% awesome to have a vagina for a day, but honestly Id want boobs as well, not huge ones, but they just look like the package would be completely, especially for self entertainment. Honestly, a dick gets more and more boring through the ages, as Im sure that stuff does, but #&@$% curiousity makes me want that stuff better than my own ‘junk’, and Id do it for a while if I could
http://www.tabutoys.com/
wrote on December 9 2008 @ 12:54 pm: [report]
I’d get a raise.
Simosa
wrote on December 14 2008 @ 12:29 am: [report]
Ha ha. I’d get a raise. Love it.
DrDoctor
wrote on December 14 2008 @ 04:10 am: [report]
If me and my girlfriend could switch for a day we would never leave the bedroom, then the next day we would still be in the bedroom learning to appreciate our own bodies all over again.
Honestly it’s kind of a weird fantasy of mine to have my vagina-for-a-day pleased by my girlfriend. I wonder how arousal would work with different parts. Would I get wet without any foreplay at all? Would she need a lot to get an erection? hrm..
Lucky Red
wrote on December 14 2008 @ 08:19 pm: [report]
Write my name in the snow, have some sex knowing that I would get off EVERY time!!
suzybabies
wrote on December 15 2008 @ 11:48 am: [report]
i would masturbate, then go out and walk around like i was tough #&@$%. probably get my ass kicked then go home and #&@$% a bagel fresh out of the microwave
check out the top ten worst condom ideas
at studyandscore.blogspot.com
rockstar1226
wrote on December 15 2008 @ 12:01 pm: [report]
yeah ,it’s nice hitting it hard,synthia,but most women want you off them pretty fast. as for the guys showing it to other guys,uh, i know nothing of this. futhermore ,we cant whip it out,that amounts to a sex crime! yet we love it so much when women flash ther tits. as for sticking it in women,it’s so moist and warm. it’s like true heaven when you first get it in,and getting it deep is sooooo good. honestly,i never want to take it out,lol.
ShortyDooWop
wrote on December 15 2008 @ 11:03 pm: [report]
I’ve always fantasized about having a penis for a day or two! At one point, I had 3 female roommates. I told them that if I woke up one day with a penis, that I apologize in advance because they would all be getting the business!!!
I mean, they were the girls I knew best and they were right there! There would be no explaining, just penetrating! 
Sue2
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 11:01 am: [report]
as for sticking it in women,it’s so moist and warm. it’s like true heaven when you first get it in,and getting it deep is sooooo good. honestly, I never want to take it out, lol.
” You never want to take it out. Even if and when you have a full and hard erection?? Or is it you men like to take it out after you squirt off?? ”
And why is it, Some men cum instantly right after or not long after penetration. And some men are stuborn and hard to get off and some men take overs to have a fully stimulated erection??
Why do some men get off faster than others?? And Is it hard to keep it soft around all women or just the women you find insanly attractive.
And do men prefer pussy or ass when it comes to penetration.
Sue.
cupcakebabyee
wrote on December 17 2008 @ 11:04 pm: [report]
this is the funniest i have read…well what id do is do someone just to see if guys get more pleasure.just what is the big deal anyways?
hard working woman
wrote on December 18 2008 @ 04:21 am: [report]
Fresh…Again. You ended your last sexist post with “this goes for both women and men” but your post had to do with why women get paid less, not why men get paid less.
Your ideas about why women get paid less are totally bogus and sexist. It’s highly offensive. I hope you’re not a woman’s supervisor. You sure express a lot of resentment and anger towards women, basically calling them lazy, irresponsible, incapable of learning or stupid, and liars.
Research by professor of law and economics Joni Hersch found that even when taking into consideration characteristics that might affect wages, such as choices over household and child-related responsibilities, market characteristics, working conditions, occupational segregation (field dominated by one sex or another), experience or job turnover rates, sex discrimination remained a strong explanation for the gender pay gap.
From: http://www.vanderbilt.edu/news/releases/2007/4/9/why-do-women-earn-less-than-men-two-vanderbilt-economists-explain-this-persistent-issue-and-show-which-professions-are-worst-at-pay-parity
That’s SEX DISCRIMINATION. And it happens because men like you don’t value women, or even worse resent them. Clitoris envy anyone?
____________
fresh… again
wrote on October 14 2008 @ 02:57 pm:
[ignore]
[report]
If you want equal pay…
- Don’t stand around chatting to your colleagues for 20-30 minutes at a time.
- Don’t consistently “offer” to do the easy jobs, as if you’re doing your colleagues a favour.
- Don’t be bitchy about your workmates.
- Learn to use the relevant technology, efficiently.
- Don’t use your own inadequacies as “evidence” for gender inequality - not everyone is a genius.
Follow this advice and you’ll earn the respect/trust/admiration of your employer because you’ll have proven that you’re a “team player” and an asset to the company.
This goes for both men and women BTW.
hard working woman
wrote on December 18 2008 @ 04:26 am: [report]
If I had a penis, I’d give it back.
leazabeth
wrote on December 19 2008 @ 06:05 pm: [report]
I’m with you Hard Working. I used to have a penis and I can tell you that they are highly overated. My life and everything in it is much better as a woman, in spite of a few minor inconveniences. And sex…it’s so much better I can’t stand it, like playing 3-D Sony Playstation instead of Pong, in black and white.
DidSheReallyGoThere
wrote on December 19 2008 @ 11:52 pm: [report]
Well, to be technical, an erected clitoris basically performs all of the same functions of an erect penis (squirting and all…if you’re as lucky as ME :p)
I’d politely decline on having a penis. I like my own body with a bonus: A Uterus! A Man is half a woman anyway: WO-Man…get it? So I’d be suspicious if actually offered to change my Goddess status—-even for a day!
singlenluvit
wrote on December 29 2008 @ 09:28 pm: [report]
I would have random sex and find out what feels the absolute best! Then I would use the knowledge as a secret love weapon…
thegnu
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 06:59 am: [report]
If you want to know what it’s like being hit in the balls, get someone to punch you really really hard in the stomach and face at the same time, then get kicked really hard in the vagina immediately after, then put painter’s dropcloth or some other clingy plastic over your face for 3 minutes while someone disrupts the beating of your heart by pounding on your chest with a rubber mallet.
you’ll be in the general vicinity.
@the whole sexism at work thing, new research indicates that the pay discrepancy for height is greater and more consistent than the pay discrepancy for gender. which is interesting, at least.
thegnu
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 07:13 am: [report]
And I do have to point out that generally, businessmen I meet who are powerful and have money have compromised their humanity for a bigger slice of the pie. Men are trained from a young age to be competitive, even if it means physical injury or loss of joy. So I think you take these people with power who have really hurt themselves to get there, and yeah, they’re threatened by anyone who thinks they can attain that level of power and still be self-expressed and joyful, and be allowed to have their emotions.
Which includes me, and women. I think if it were more okay to laugh at women when they cried, or when they felt sick, they would do better in the workplace.
Not saying that’s healthy, but if you want to be part of an unhealthy world, there you go.
323Felicity
wrote on September 27 2009 @ 07:46 pm: [report]
hahaha this post is so funny, i lol’d so much! i have often thought what i’d do with a penis. basically i’d have a lot of sex with girls & jack-off a bit to see what it feels like. and i’d do a bunch of silly dances in the nude. also i would wear some really snug bike shorts with no undies the whole day and get some funny looks from people. and i’d use the expression “rock out with my cock out” constantly! i wouldn’t want to be kicked in the balls, no thanx! having balls would be the funniest bit, i’d jangle them around and twirl them about and find someone to snowball. i guess that’s it.
to the gray seal guy: your story made me sad!:( i’m sure it’s not nice to be small and it’s not fair guys feel like they’re judged on their penis size.
to samantha: a mop handle?! really?! ewww…
to wolfie: that penis commercial thing is hilarious!!! lol!!
Sparkknock
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 02:26 pm: [report]
. . . I would trade my meat puppet for a vajayjay
any day for a month, maybe longer. I’d find that
G spot and spray my g/f for starters, then find
the best way to make that clit thing work. That
would be the most important thing to learn in
this caper. Finally, I’d have my girlfriend,
the one with my dick, squirt off on my face,
then later, blow her load down my throat just
to experience what she feels. Im sure it would
be a mind numbing exp.
ootie grl
wrote on November 13 2009 @ 02:35 pm: [report]
It would be hilarious. I would have to see how far i could spoo.
MuchoMacho
wrote on November 13 2009 @ 02:42 pm: [report]
usually about a foot or so the first time. you get progressively less distance the more often you “spoo” in a 24 hour period. fyi.
senate78
wrote on November 14 2009 @ 08:45 pm: [report]
Pee on everything!
MoodyhotDecember
wrote on November 16 2009 @ 01:00 pm: [report]
If I could have a penis for a day I would just want sex and oral with a woman to see what it feels like and then when I go back to my vagina I’d know how to please my man better : ) oh and i’d pee on some stuff i’m sure.
kaviar378
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 07:45 pm: [report]
Hmmmm… I have thought about this and I’d go camping or to a music festival and enjoy the fact that don’t need to squat down to have a pee, thus avoiding potential bites from snakes, spiders and other bush baddies.
rdkilldujour
wrote on November 19 2009 @ 11:59 am: [report]
I would giggle all day. i’m giggling now just thinking about it!
riensept
wrote on November 19 2009 @ 08:37 pm: [report]
OMG!!!! This is hilarious!!! I’ve always thought about having a penis for a day. I’d definitely pee all over the place. Then, I’d be a total man whore too. I think that I would like it if me and my guy could switch bodies for a day. Then I could try to f*** him everywhere and every way all day, so he could see how tired it gets. I would definitely see how far I could cum. And I would try to get him to take it in the bum. Geez guys, not all girls like that and it freaking hurts, so don’t beg and plead for it all the time, it just becomes a turn off and makes us feel that our vjays aren’t good enough.