The Top 11 Songs About Lady Flowers

The music industry is dominated by men, so it’s no wonder there’s about 10 bazillion songs all about wiener and not so many about vagina. But I found 11 amazing songs that truly spew pure poetry about patsy, yoni, punani, dew flaps, sugar basin, jam cookie, or whatever else you wanna call it.

1. “Blood races to your private spots/Let’s me know there’s a fire/You can’t fight passion when passion is hot/Temperatures rise inside my sugar walls/Let me take you somewhere you’ve never been/I could show you things you’ve never seen/I could make you never wanna fall in love again/Come spend the night inside my sugar walls.”—“Sugar Walls”, Sheena Easton

2. “Wynona loved her big brown beaver/And she stroked him all the time/She pricked her finger one day and it/Occurred to her she might have a porcupine.”—“Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver”, Primus

3. “On top, underneath, on the side of you/Better yet baby inside of you/I love the way you’re just flowin’ down/And I can feel it all around/In the front, in the back of you/Ooh I love the taste of you/Girl you know what I’m talking about/Peaches and cream/I need it cause you know that I’m a fiend/Gettin’ freaky in my Bentley limousine/It’s even better when it’s with ice cream/Know what I mean.”—“Peaches ‘N’ Cream”, 112

4. “She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak/I’ve been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks/I was drawn into your magnet tar pit trap/I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn back/…Meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet/Cut myself on angel’s hair and baby’s breath/Broken hymen of your highness I’m left black/Throw down your umbilical noose so I can/Climb right back.” – “Heart Shaped Box”, Nirvana

5. “Pink it’s my new obsession/Pink it’s not even a question/Pink on the lips of your lover/Cause pink is the love you discover/Pink as the bing on your cherry/… I want to be your lover/I wanna wrap you in rubber/As pink as the sheets that we lay on/Pink is my favorite crayon, yeah/Pink it was love at first sight/Pink when I turn out the light/Pink it’s like red but not quite/And I think everything is going to be all right/No matter what we do tonight.”—“Pink”, Aerosmith

6. “I’d like to get to know ya, so I can show ya/Put the p****y on ya, like I told ya/Gimme all your numbers so I can phone ya/Your girl acting stank than call me ova/Not on the bed, lay me on your sofa/Call before you come, I need to shave my chocha/You do or you don’t or you will or you won’t cha/Go downtown and eat it like a vulcha/See my hips and my tips don’t cha/See my ass and my lips don’t cha/Lost a few pounds in my whiffs for ya.” – “Work It”, Missy Elliot

7. “Can I touch you there/Soft as velvet eyes can see/Bring me close to ecstasy/High away to heaven/And I’m coming too/Float now coming down on me/Handed you what I cannot see/Feel the big happy, you’re exploding me/Soft as snow and warm inside.” – “Soft As Snow”, My Bloody Valentine

8. “She’s my cherry pie/Cool drink of water/Such a sweet surprise/Tastes so good make a grown man cry/Sweet cherry pie/Oh yeah/She’s my cherry pie/Put a smile on your face/Ten miles wide/Looks so good/Bring a tear to your eye/Sweet cherry pie/Yeah sweet cherry pie.”—“Cherry Pie”, Warrant

9. “I want to introduce you/Take you to the brink thing/I want to introduce you/Tell me what you think thing/I want to introduce you/Make that missing link thing/Don’t you think it’s time you met some female pink thing?”—“Pink Thing”, XTC

10. “Give it to me/Gimme that funk, that sweet, that nasty, that gushy stuff.”—“I Just Wanna Love U”, Jay-Z

11. “Sheila has a cat, she pets the cat/Puts a spell on the cat/She runs her fingers down his back/Cause Sheila has a cat, puts a spell on the cat/Looks him in the eyes, makes him reply/Sheila, Sheila, Sheila, Sheila.”—“Sheila”, Morphine