Sometimes You Shouldn’t Mind Your Own Business

Riley
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 08:29 am: [report]

I have done this a few times while leaving a bar and seeing some guy yelling at the lady he is with.  Anytime two fairly large guys approach someone yelling at a woman, he changes the tune pretty quick and doesn’t say much.  I think anyone that has to yell and threaten someone like that is a coward and it shows when they are called on it. 

I always wonder what happens afterwards, I hope I didn’t make a bad situation worse.

camille905
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 08:30 am: [report]

Yay for you Amelia! Sometimes people just need someone else to acknowledge that what’s going on is wrong.

Once I was in the grocery store and there was a brother and sister by themselves, probably 6 and 8. And the older sister had a plastic bag (like you use for produce?) OVER HER BROTHER’S HEAD. I don’t know where their parents where. I walked over to them and snatched the bag out of her hand and told her it was dangerous and they shouldn’t ever do that ever again. People walking by looked at me like I was crazy.

Lilly
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 08:30 am: [report]

I’ve been reading this website for 6 months now, and this article was enough to make me register just to leave this comment:

WAY TO GO AMELIA!

If everyone looked out for each other like that, the world would be a better place I think!

Rose
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 08:34 am: [report]

That was so brave of you, Amelia.  I’ve been in a similar situations with neighbours.  I was afraid to confront him (he was very scary at the best of times) but I always called the police when I heard yelling/fighting.  The police always came around promptly and calmed things down, but I don’t know whatever came of it longterm.  Whatever happens, though, I think it’s only right to intervene, report, send a message to both people that abuse is just not right.

HitOrMissJudy
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 08:46 am: [report]

You are awesome. Too many people just keep walking. I had a friend who was being mugged and attacked in the stairway of her building and she was screaming for her neighbors’ help, but when the mugger saw the neighbors he just said, “she’s my girlfriend” by way of explanation and so the neighbors went back into their apartments. Nice.

I’m glad you got her into a cab and I really hope she cuts that #&@$% out of her life. Go, you!

brandyalexander
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 08:48 am: [report]

Yeah, its times like those when it hurts most to be alone.  Knowing that someone, even a complete stranger, cared about her might give her the courage to leave that loser.

heythere
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 08:49 am: [report]

I’m glad you asked her if she was OK. Did you ask her why he was yelling at her like that?

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 08:49 am: [report]

Kitty Genovese.

luke15chick
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 09:01 am: [report]

That was definitely an instance of domestic violence.  I work with these women in my job and sometimes that one person showing that they care about their well being helps in the woman leaving the relationship.  I had read a story of a woman in a domestic violence relationship, her boyfriend shoved down on the pavement in front of a crowd of people and no one did a thing.  I’m so glad you were different.

Amelia McDonell-Parry
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 09:05 am: [report]

She was honestly so shell shocked that when I asked her anything she couldn’t muster more than a few words and some nodding. But my friend who was with me remembers that the guy was screaming at her about where they were supposed to meet or something. It sounded to him like she didn’t meet her boyfriend where she was supposed to and that’s why he flipped out.

majicksand
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 09:11 am: [report]

Kitty Genovese anyone?  If you don’t know the story, google her name.  It’s a tragic, true story of what happens when people look the other way.

Years ago I was a bartender in a small neighborhood bar.  This couple came in and began arguing after a few drinks.  The boyfriend was extremely verbally abusive and loud enough that the entire bar had no choice but to focus on the fight.  I told the guy that I couldn’t allow that kind of behavior, and he needed to knock it off or leave.  He turned his venom on me at that point.

It was a small place, so I didn’t have a bouncer, but I had six regulars prepared to defend me with their lives if need be.  I knew I wasn’t in any danger. I tend to be 10’ tall and bullet proof in these situations anyway, so we went toe to toe.  I told the guy what a loser he was, and that I was not about to be bullied.  He threatened me and thought about throwing a punch.  I looked him in the eye and told him to go ahead because he’d be really embarassed when I beat his ass then had him arrested.  I’m only 5’6”, but I’m obviously strong and able to handle myself.  Combine that with my complete lack of fear and a half dozen pissed off guys just waiting for him to make a move, and anyone with half a brain is going to pause.  Like most bullies, he backed down and left.

I later learned that this was considered “normal” for this couple.  They made scenes like that everywhere they went as though they had been hired as the evening’s entertainment.  I still barred the guy.  The girl hadn’t really done anything except put up with the lunatic’s raving, so I let her back in the following weekend when she showed up with a friend.  Unfortunately, I also learned that she was bi-sexual and had convinced herself that I had defended her because I was interested in her.  But that’s another story…

majicksand
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 09:14 am: [report]

@cheese:  You beat me to the punch.  Your comment posted while I was typing mine.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 09:16 am: [report]

@majick: Yeah, I’m sneaky like that. Snoogins.

mayorbubbles
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 09:16 am: [report]

Reminds me of when I went to penn’s landing last weekend. A man was yelling at this woman to get in the car. He was also shaking her and chasing her around the car. I wrote down the license plate number and when they left I called the police. The police seemed skeptical and it was really annoying but I got them to take the license plate number and the car’s description in the end. I hope she’s okay… The thing is, it was a bus stop and there was a crap load of people there and no one did anything. I was afraid to intervene because i’m kinda skinny and the man was really husky. But i’m glad you did the right thing Amelia! yay!

majicksand
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 09:40 am: [report]

@cheese: It’s cool though.  People need to know about and remember the Kitty Genovese incident.  The more mentions, the more people get curious and want to know the story.  That’s a good thing.

retro chic
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 10:03 am: [report]

//Sometimes You Shouldn’t Mind Your Own Business//

...but helping others, esp those in distress, is our business.

Bravo, Amelia. Being in the moment, and stepping into something messy or risky to aid others resets our moral compass ‘cause of the great feeling we have after. We mainly regret the things we *don’t* do anyway. It’s good, but sad, we still need these examples: doing the hard thing is the right thing; going beyond ourselves for others.

Frederica Bimble
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 10:33 am: [report]

I agree with not walking by.  I’ve seen this scenario here in London many times and I always make sure the person is ok.  I’m quite small in stature so if it looks really bad, I usually phone the emergency line and report it to the police.  There is no such thing as “domestic violence.”  Violence or abuse is just that and painting it up with a “nicer name” doesn’t make it any less despicable or wrong.

jmland1
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 10:42 am: [report]

Yay, I’m a lurker too, but I had to register.  Go Amelia!!!

bethlynn00
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 10:54 am: [report]

I’m glad that you were able to make sure she was okay and assisted her with getting home. It baffles me that people can sometimes turn a blind eye to people in distress, what if it was you or someone you know?  I think about that video out of CT where that man was struck by a car people on the street walked by and driver’s drive around this man laying in the middle of the street, I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror if I did something like that! So I’m very glad you didn’t mind your own business and I hope other people start not to as well.

sadie
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 11:44 am: [report]

Good for you. Definitely best to not ignore someone who seems to be in trouble.

Several years ago I saw a guy brutally beating the hell out of some woman in broad day light on a totally suburban residential street at 9 in the morning! Who does this?! I called the police on my mobile and they were on the scene before I even got off the phone with 911. Hopefully they hauled the jerk away.

LadyMetsFan
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 11:47 am: [report]

BRAVO Amelia! I also had to register for this story. Its good to know there are people out there who will jump in and help you if you need it.

Humble Bee
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 12:20 pm: [report]

That’s so admirable of you. My friend also got mugged once by some gangster and no one did anything. In broad daylight! My friend said that she even saw cars stop and watch and no one helped her. Until some old lady (maybe 70yrs old) came out with a broom and helped her. We need more good samaritans like you.

OutOfLine
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 12:49 pm: [report]

<3 Awesome.  I’m glad that at least most of the people on this site know that it’s not ok to let someone hurt just because it is “none of your business.”

SummertimeFirefly
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 12:54 pm: [report]

That’s for this story! It’s so true that we are often conditioned to look the other way, but it’s so important that we trust our instinct and act! We really don’t have anything to lose.

GreyWolf
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 01:03 pm: [report]

Amelia, you have no idea how rare a person you are.  A (sick) study performed in a park with a large man loudly berating and cursing a sobbing, cowering woman showed that the vast majority of people wouldn’t step in to help, even during broad daylight.  It was all filmed.  Lots of people stopped to stare for a few minutes, and few even called 911.  But only a very few stepped in to stop the abuse (and honestly, I don’t know if I would have).

One small woman did step in… and put herself between the guy and his victim, armed with nothing more than her cellphone and righteous outrage.  And she stayed with the victim until the reality of the situation was revealed.

I won’t go into the psychological damage that such a “study” could do to those who didn’t stop, but I will say that that small woman showed more guts than I think I might have, and so did Amelia.  I admire both of them for that.

blackrose1o1
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 01:52 pm: [report]

Bravo Amelia! I’m glad you did something while still protecting your own safety.
In my self defense class we learned that if you witness a violent crime being committed, no matter how much you may want to step in, it is always better to call the police and wait. You don’t want to end up a victim yourself.

vanya
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 01:54 pm: [report]

Kudos to you, Amelia!

retro chic
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 02:01 pm: [report]

//Sometimes You Shouldn’t Mind Your Own Business//

...but helping others in need is our business.

And you did it, Amelia, bravo. Being in the moment, alcoholic haze or not – doing the hard thing, which more often than not, is the right thing. I look forward to a time when it’s not even a question.

323Felicity
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 02:25 pm: [report]

Good job, Amelia!
@GreyWolf: I saw that show, too, (or something similar) and the thing was they put a white guy yelling at a black girl and not many people did anything. But then they put a black guy yelling at a white girl and everyone wanted to help her. It shouldn’t matter what race someone is as to whether you help them or not. The world needs more people like Amelia.

bogart4017
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 02:32 pm: [report]

I agree with blackrose101. Over in Brooklyn recently stepped in to help a lady who was being physically dragged by her boyfriend down the street in broad daylight. He got shot for his trouble. Always always call the police first.

joyy
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 02:55 pm: [report]

Way to go!!!  I had a similar feeling last weekend over a different kind of incident.  I was driving up a one way street, and I saw a guy driving the WRONG DIRECTION down it from a bigger intersection.  The gates from the train had just lifted, so at first I thought it was just a confused tourist.  By the time I got up there and into the turning lane (4 lanes all in the same direction at that part of the road), I noticed the guy wasn’t like “oh no I have to turn around!” ... he just kept driving.

I had my arms up in the air, matching the “WTF?!?” look on my face, and a college-aged kid walking down the sidewalk gave me the “roll your window down” signal.  So I did, and the kid says “That guy’s wasted and he has a kid in the car.”  I asked if he was #&@$% me, and the kid said no.  I just looked at him and said “Go grab his tags and call the cops.  Will you do that?”  He said yes and we split (the kid was on foot and was in a MUCH better position to actually do so than I was, given I was on a one-way street).

I called it in when I got back to my house a few blocks away just in case the kid didn’t, but the dispatcher confirmed that the he turned it in and reported the license plate number.  Not sure if they got the guy, but I’m really proud of that kid for having the guts to step up and say something (to me, and then the cops) when he noticed that someone else (especially a kid!) needed help.

Little Lamb
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 03:06 pm: [report]

I was leaving the bar in downtown Denver when I saw a guy pushing a girl into an SUV.  I yelled at him to stop, and he told me it was none of my business and that was his girlfriend.  I saw a cop car drive by about 2 minutes later and told him what was going on.  They stopped him and I don’t know what happened, but I thought it was a good idea for someone else to check on the situation.

Scary stuff though!!!

GreyWolf
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 04:18 pm: [report]

@323Felicity… you are right about that show.  I had forgotten some of the details, but I believe it was an “investigative” show (20/20 I think).  I didn’t remember the black/white aspect nearly as much as my admiration for this woman who stepped in without hesitation.  Yes, the situation could have been dangerous for her (certainly more so than for the many able-bodied men who walked on by), but she saw another person in need and didn’t hesitate.

Again, kudos to her and Amelia for their compassion and strength of character in the face of danger.

fuzzycloth
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 05:46 pm: [report]

I was about to sit down to have dinner at this restaurant with my fiance when this woman walks toward us crying.  The crying turns to uncontrollable sobbing and escalates to screaming.  My fiance and I were just seated in the patio area.  I looked around and no one was with this woman.  All around me people were watching, even the employees of the restaurant were watching.  NO ONE helped her.  Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and I approached her.  I asked if she needed help.  She kept sobbing.  I walked her over to my table and sat her down.  I had the waiter bring her some water.  I put my arm around her and I asked her what happened.  Apparently some guy she had been having a long distance relationship with was cheating on her.  She had just arrived into town at his request to visit.  I managed to get her to tell me the story between the uncontrollable sobbing.  I got her to give me her brother’s phone number.  When I called him I could tell he was both concerned and distraught.  I gave him the address of the restaurant and waited with her until he arrived.  They were both very grateful but most important to me was that she was safe and would be taken care of.

I really believe that if more people did not mind their own business this world would be a better place.

DancingGeek
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 05:58 pm: [report]

The only reason a person shoudl yell at another person if if they are in danger of being hit by a bus! Amelia, that was really wonderful thing to get that girl into a cab, hopefully she took the cab far far away from that a$$hat.

silvergurl
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 06:15 pm: [report]

i’m proud of you, amelia! 

GAgirlinNYC
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 06:23 pm: [report]

This story hit really close to home with me, and I am so proud of you, Amelia!

As a victim of domestic violence, I know all too well how much someone stepping in can help. After a long night of a wedding reception, my boyfriend of two years and snapped on me in the parking lot of a Hotel. I struggled to get away from him, and he tried to choke me. I kept kicking and screaming, and he kept hitting. Everytime I tried to get back up, he knocked me back down.

Finally,(the time was such a blur to me, it could have been 2 hours) I had gotten to my feet and was heading back inside. My plan was to get someone to keep him away from me so I could leave. That’s what the fight started over anyhow, actually.

Once we got inside, he threw my keys on the ground and told me to just go. I went to pick them up, and he stomped on my hand. I grabbed them and went into a full sprint in the parking lot to my car. Seconds later, I heard shoes behind me. He tackled me in the parking lot, face first, and then was dragging me by my neck to my car. I have no idea what he was going to do to me.

A guy checking into the hotel saw it and came to my rescue. He pulled him off of me and hit him as hard as he could to keep him down. He also had informed the front desk of what he was witnessing before he ran, so she had called security. Security arrived, and they made sure I was okay, and escorted me to my car while calling the police.

I think about that man everyday. I can remember his face and his glasses as if I saw him yesterday. That happened over 4 years ago. Moral of story: if someonething doesn’t feel right to you, go with your gut. I truly believe he saved my life, and you could have done the same with that girl.

Anabeth
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 06:38 pm: [report]

One Tuesday morning earlier in the spring, I was tackled onto the cafeteria table at my high school by a senior two years older than me, and he tried to choke me. He said he was in love with me last summer; by the time the school year started, he began telling me how I would never fit in with any of my friends or anybody I’d ever meet. All my friends knew he was bad, and they were all around me when it happened.
Only one person tried to get between us. The only person who asked if I was okay insisted that she believed that I was “fine” because I was under a cafeteria table crying for somebody strangle me and do it quick so I wouldn’t have to vomit over everyone and cry like the little bitch he said I was.
Good god I wish my friends were like you, Amelia.

Kai29
wrote on September 28 2009 @ 09:16 pm: [report]

I think domestic violence is treated like a “dirty little secret” in our society. Many people just want to pretend it doesn’t exist even if it’s happening right in front of our faces. My ex husband was abusive. He would yell and throw things, a push and threaten. It was finally when he verbally threatened my life, that I woke up and promised myself that I will never be that afraid again in my life. We were living in a condo complex and I had seized the opportunity to run out of the door and began knocking on my neighbor’s doors and screaming (we did not have a land line and he hand snapped myself phone in half in front of my face, so I had no way to call the police). No one on came to the doors and I knew they were home because the parking lot was full. It was not until I got upstairs and knocked on a neighbor’s door that I was very familiar with that a door was opened. Thank God for her. When the cops got there, my ex husband had fled. I was told by the cops to call them if he came back angry. When I reminded the officer that I had no way to call, he simply told me to give them a call and was actually very condescending towards me. There’s a couple that lives on my hall that has had numerous finds in the parking lot. I don’t go out there. But I watch with my phone in hand ready to call 911 if need be. I don’t understand why so many people are afraid to give a d*mn about strangers.

Gingee
wrote on September 29 2009 @ 05:16 am: [report]

Ladies, ladies, ladies:

Any guy who yells at you does not matter, because YOU, smart gal, will be out the door before the third word is out of his mouth.  Yuo WON’T BE BACK.  Ever.

It is that simple.

As my hero, Israeli Commando Muki Betzer said, the only time he raises his voice is to be heard above the noise.

For the record, I am female (yes, in the military but that is not really relevant): If I see some guy pounding on a gal, he’s going to get a beat down, and then I’m going to turn on the woman and she’s going to hear it from me:

That no one takes advangtage of you without your permission. 

Gals, let your Inner Lion out.  Listen to fear, that gift that has our survival as its only goal and when and if a guy gets mouthy, you get gone and stay gone.

OKSUNI
wrote on September 29 2009 @ 12:54 pm: [report]

I live for moments like this..I think its fun to call someone out for public abusive behavior. Once I heard a woman yelling for help and I went outside and a man was walking away with her baby in his arms (no #&@$%). I stopped my car and called the police right then and there—turns out it was his friend’s kid and he was picking the kid up for him (without the mother’s permission) but still. Not cool!
This is what is wrong with society today (partly).

katsie
wrote on September 29 2009 @ 01:42 pm: [report]

while it may seem like a noble idea at the time I would caution women in getting involved alone.  I once approached a man who was leading a veeery drunk acquaintance of mine back to his house. I told the man I was taking her home and ended up on the ground after being punched in the face by this man. Criminal charges, cops, testifying the whole bit.  So please just be careful because you may not know what you are walking into !

showbiiiz
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 12:20 pm: [report]

I got into an arugment with my guy while we were on the freeway and he was jerking the steering wheel while I was going 65mph. He almost made me wreck 3 times, and he was about to start throwing my personal items in the back seat out the window so I pulled into a populated gas station so I could call the police. I left my car and he followed, and since he did - I locked the doors so he couldn’t do anything stupid.

I was trying to stay in sight of other people. There were plenty of people in the gas station but he still managed to back me into a corner… Everyone was either staring like they were watching something go down on tv, or they looked the other way.

Luckily, I was able to stay on the phone with the dispatcher until the police got there.

I would have appreciated someone like you at that time…

Kudos Amelia!

showbiiiz
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 12:21 pm: [report]

(and for the record, no he is not still a part of my life…)

blueheart
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 04:45 pm: [report]

Take a few minutes to be proud of yourself Amelia:)

BrookeTTU
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 01:28 am: [report]

good for you, Amelia!  too many people would have kept on walking . . .

VX967
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 11:43 pm: [report]

I think you should mind your own business unless you know what is really going on.  Would you have intervened if it had been her yelling at him? I think not! 
  Worse you had no back up to get you out of the situation!  You still do not know the whole story.  Foolish!  You are lucky that this couple did not turn on you!!!

DancerNinja
wrote on October 2 2009 @ 12:18 am: [report]

@VX967 - Good heavens, I hope you are saying this is jest! Kudos to everyone who has either stepped in or called the police.

Kai29
wrote on October 2 2009 @ 06:23 am: [report]

VX967-I can understand your point somewhat. I’ve been on both sides of the coin, a victim of abuse and a witness to abuse. I think watching from a safe distance and calling the police is more than enough. Amelia put herself in a dangerous situation, thank goodness she was not harmed and was able to help in this incident. If I was in Amelia’s shoes at the time, I would not have physically intervened. Like I said, I’ve been on both sides of the coin, and some of these guys are really psycho and could’ve beaten up or killed both women. Also, I would definitely respond the same way if the genders were reversed. Women can be abusive to men too!

majicksand
wrote on October 2 2009 @ 07:41 am: [report]

@VX967 and @Kai29:  If you reread the article you’ll see that Amelia kept her distance until after the ‘boyfriend’ walked away.  She also had a couple of friends with her, so she had backup had he returned.

Kai29
wrote on October 2 2009 @ 01:11 pm: [report]

majicksand- I took your advice and it confirms my first impression after initially reading the article. Amelia’s friends were ahead of her and were telling her to catch up, so she did not have back up if he returned, which he easily may have. Perhaps you should reread the article yourself, along with my previous post.

majicksand
wrote on October 2 2009 @ 03:40 pm: [report]

Kai29:  Amelia’s friends were a few steps ahead.  They were obviously still close by and paying attention.

Amelia McDonell-Parry
wrote on October 2 2009 @ 03:43 pm: [report]

To clarify: my friends were about 25 feet away and watching me as I went to help her—the boyfriend had walked away. I felt totally safe.

mld1979
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 03:42 pm: [report]

One night, back in the summer of 01, I was sitting on my porch and a man and his gf coming up the street.  Both drunk.  She stopped to vomit, and he grabbed her hair and started DRAGGING her up the street.  I was on the phone to 911 so fast.  Don’t know what happened but I watched until the cops showed up. 

I’ve also gotten a black eye for intervening in a domestic fight with a housemate (boarding house).  Probably not smart, but worth it. 

I agree with the title—sometimes you shouldn’t mind your own business.  It’s sad that even after Kitty Genovese was killed, we (as a society) still haven’t fully learned that

Psych-chick
wrote on October 11 2009 @ 01:12 am: [report]

I totally believe in stepping up and getting involved.  Of course call the police first, but sometimes getting involved yourself makes the difference between life or death.  What if you saw some guy dragging a girl into a car.  So what if he says, It’s my girlfriend?!  One, he shouldn’t be treating anyone like that, much less his girlfriend, and two, what if he’s just saying that and he’s actually kidnapping her? 
When I was a young teenager, I had a friend who had an older, abusive boyfriend.  The guy didn’t seem to care if people were around or not when he smacked her around.  The first time I saw him start up with her, I got between them and basically gave him the look of death and told him to back the f*#! off.  And he did.  So many times people do things because they can; because they get away with it time after time simply because no one says anything. I’ve had so many experiences, from seeing someone littering to abuse, where just my saying something has caused people to stop what they are doing.  Maybe as soon as I leave they go back to their old ways, but at least I prevented something bad from happening that one time, and each of those people will probably think twice the next time they’re thinking about doing something they shouldn’t.

pickles
wrote on October 11 2009 @ 09:52 pm: [report]

Good for you Amelia!!

I just got out of an abusive relationship that started out with warning signs like this - I wish someone like you had been there, just once, to step in. Maybe then things wouldn’t've escalated.

Keep up the heroic work!

april8791
wrote on October 11 2009 @ 10:58 pm: [report]

as a former victim myself I take every opportunity to step in in this kind of situation. I knew what those kind o men were when I watched my 4’10” grandmother back down my father- a 6’4” ex-marine. She seemed superhuman then, but I saw over and over their real cowardice. I was still unsure about myself until- in my Army basic training-
when I was almost ready to give up- I saw dragonflies. Seeing them taught me something evey girl should learn. you can be beautiful and strong- graceful, quiet, and if need arrises just as fierce as any man

equnsuocha
wrote on October 12 2009 @ 02:25 pm: [report]

My neighbor is being abused by her boyfriend.  She has some things going on in her life that makes him secure in teh fact that neither she nor I will call the police.  I advised her this last time to please take her girls and come to me should he ever start on her again.  I also told her that I would be talking to my landlord (who is also her landlord and my boyfriends father, at 6’4” and about 275 he is often mistaken for a retired Raider) about what was going on over there, I also told her if I ever saw it, she should be prepared for either a trial or a funeral.  I called my BFs Dad and told him what was going on and he advised me that he would be having a talk with the boyfriend.
The point here is this I told my BF’s father if I see they will get a call about where we can dig a hole.  My BF is a pretty big guy but even he was concerned that he wouldn’t be able to take the BF because he too is a pretty big guy, my response was this “I can take him because he is a bitch that hits women, one good shot to the face and he is done”  There is no reason for hitting, none at all and that goes for both the men and the women.

fluffysue
wrote on October 13 2009 @ 04:18 pm: [report]

Good for you!  You just can’t ignore things like this.  Too many people do not want to get involved.

NaomiK
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 01:49 pm: [report]

I think that the most important thing I learned from taking social psychology is the whole “someone else will do something” mentality that we all tend to lean toward. I still catch myself thinking” someone else will take care of that” sometimes.
I called the cops on someone who was beating on the window of a car his gf/wife/whatever was in. It was broad daylight and he was on the hood punching the windsheild yelling “give me the keys, bitch!” I took pictures, too, before the cops arrived. Unfortunately she didn’t press charges.

moonblossom
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 02:02 pm: [report]

Hurray! Great article. Just the other day my sister and I saw a girl getting beat up at a bus stop. Three people randomly attacked her for no reason. It was a busy street with 6 lanes of traffic and we were the only car to stop and help. We scared off the attackers and helped the girl. Then we called the cops who eventually arrested the attackers the next block over. We IDed them at the scene and filled out reports. They went to jail that afternoon. Luckily their victim wasn’t badly injured. My sister and I spend the rest of the week joking about going to the tailor’s to get fitted for our capes. If you ever want to feel like a superhero - go help someone.

And for the record - I am all about not minding my own business. I think we’d all be a little better off if we cared a little more about how our fellow (wo)man was being treated.

VX967
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 08:32 pm: [report]

25 ft away is way to far.  That is not back-up.  People on suicide trips do not impress me.  It is easy to know know what’s really happening and playing hero can get you killed or at least hospitalized.  You do not know what the yelling was about.  Anything could have happened.  I myself have seen friends who thought they were saving a maiden is distress only to get arrested themselves. 
  When I was in the dorm I with several other tracked down some guys who committed assault on a girl whose boyfriend lived at the dorm.  But there were 8 carloads of us.
  I also had to run from car loads of guys several time while in high school ( Yes a fast car is good)!!!!
Now that i have been around several blocks I make my business,my business unless there is compelling reason.  The best way to break up is to yell (with a terrified voice)  “Run, the cops are coming”! Almost no one wants to be there.  P.S. cops make errors too I returned a wallet to a woman who had spent the night in jail because some guys were hassling her and she did not see the police car right behind so she pealed out and when she did not have id they jailed her impounded the car and nothing about they guys who frightened her!  There is much more but you get the picture! 
  As far as playing superman don’t getting a rush when things are lucky, but what will you do if they turn on you? This is the era of cell phones!! Right?

TheUnusualSuspect
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 08:57 pm: [report]

I was driving down a deserted street in an industrial area of town once a few years ago. There was a man and woman walking toward each other on the sidewalk. They met right as I drove past, and as soon as they met, he shoved her hard into a brick wall. I was taken quite by surprise, and not knowing what else to do, I honked my horn and held the botton down for a long time. I looked in the rearview mirror and saw the guy yelling and gesturing to me that I should come back and do something about it. Not being particularly courageous, I drove away. But I did call the police on my cell phone. They were actually already on the scene and dealing with the situation. But the whole thing made me wonder what was going to happen between the couple later.

Another time, I was in a quiet little barber shop. There was one barber (a woman), and one customer (me). She wasn’t saying much, which I thought was strange, because I’d been there before and she seemed very friendly. Then I noticed in the mirror that she was wearing large sunglasses that almost completely hid a black eye. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t know what. I didn’t know her except from the couple of times she had cut my hair. I should have said something, but all I could think of is that she probably didn’t need another man trying to run her life. Still, that was a poor excuse—I really should have said SOMETHING, but I didn’t.