Some Flaws Are Easier To Accept Than Others
Posted by: Annika Harris
Filed in:
news
12:00PM, Monday July 20th 2009
I have something in common with Lauren Hutton and writer Peggy Orenstein. I accept the gap between my two front teeth. After three sets of braces when I was younger and years without a retainer, I can still look a dentist and my reflection in the eye and say, “I like my smile the way it is.” It’s a trademark passed down to me by my mother.
But while I’m able to embrace my gap, a couple of scars, and other “flaws,” I’m still unable to come to terms with the cruel joke DNA has played on me. You see, I’ve always wanted boobs and figured I had a pretty good chance of getting them because ample bosoms run on both sides of my family.
I was delighted when my breast tissue started growing at age 10, even though it was painful. But after seven years of growth, I thought, “This can’t be it.” But it was. A 32NB (nearly B) was all the DNA gods blessed me with. Thankfully, the retail gods weren’t so cruel. They’ve come up with a wonderful selection of padded bras that can mask my “flaw” in the winter.
But in the summer camouflaging my itty bitties is a lot harder. You see, no one looks cute in a padded swimsuit. But when I go au natural, I think I look like Vera, Jim Carrey’s female body builder character from “In Living Color” who only needed a thin strip of fabric to cover her nipples. And strapless bras are even more annoying to deal with because my breasts just don’t want to stay in place – and by “stay in place” I mean nicely supported by double padding. (I feel like I’m revealing a dirty little secret by discussing this!)
I’ve been considering augmentation more and more lately. But can I justify spending thousands on an elective surgery when I don’t live on my own, haven’t started saving for my retirement, and owe student loans? Sure, it would make me feel better, but so would finally seeing myself the way others do. I’ve never had any man I was dating criticize my body. Most have told me not to have surgery. But I just want to look and feel normal, to be proud of my physique without having to constantly adjust myself to look good in clothes.
I never thought I’d say this, but I envy people like Paris Hilton and Kate Moss who’ve been known to go braless, tiny breasts and all, and still appear comfortable in the spotlight.
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Raugiel
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 12:06 pm: [report]
Honey, you made it up to B and you have a reasonable band size. Relax and be grateful.
Ms.NGuerrero
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 12:17 pm: [report]
I remember the day i realized I would never have long thin super model legs up to my chin…I have short stocky legs and i still dont feel right in shorts… *sigh* mother nature has quite the sense of humor.. =]
DancerNinja
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 12:25 pm: [report]
If I didn’t lift weights the way I do, I’d probably be an A. Most of my 36B is pec, so maybe try some heavy bench press to build up the muscle underneath, without upping “cardio” to keep the fat on there. It also gives cleavage at the sternum.
Just a thought for before you go under the knife for anything.
H. Blue
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 12:31 pm: [report]
I think you should be proud of your bitties. I would gladly trade you my slightly above average tatas, stretch marks and all, for small, perky ones.
I think we all have things about ourselves that we can’t stand.. perhaps it’s best then to REALLY celebrate the things we like, and stop hating so much on the others. Work what you got. There’s probably a lot of women out there envying you your bitties. (me included)
LayD
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 12:33 pm: [report]
I totally relate to this. I swear, every single thing written above is true for me too, except that I did have a boyfriend ask me several times if I would consider a boob job and always seemed to suggest that he thought I should, of course that just made me want one less. Besides that, no other guy has cared. I am barely a B, every other woman in my family is at least a C, I wish so badly to be a full C. I just don’t feel proportional. Thank goodeness for padded bras!! I honestly can’t wait to get preganant just so my boobs will be bigger. Like Annika, I recently started thinking about augmentation, but don’t have the money, since I too don’t live on my own and am paying off student loans I can’t justify it. Also, the thought of foreign substances in my body kind of grosses me out.
_jsw_
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 12:49 pm: [report]
I could never understand why women would go to the trouble of getting breast augmentation. I just didn’t get it, because, for every man who drools over large breasts, there’s a man who lusts after small ones. The perception that men prefer them bigger is wrong… some do, some don’t, most are not all that worried as long as you’ll let him touch them.
Then a good friend of mine explained the whole fashion/“looking good in clothes” thing, just as Annika mentioned. While I still don’t quite get the desire to spend your life with fake harder-than-normal breasts to fill out clothes, at least I somewhat understand now that many women get implants for themselves, not to attract men.
I still would prefer women I’m with to not have had implants, and I’ve never actually been with anyone who had them (by chance, not conscious choice), but I think I finally understand that the desire to look good for oneself is a valid reason to get them.
Lynn
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 12:51 pm: [report]
“But I just want to look and feel normal”
Maybe you don’t feel normal, but you have to know that a 32A/B is totally normal!
trickytiger
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 12:56 pm: [report]
Okay, THIS column was enough to make me register, just so I can comment!
I have the exact same proportions. 34 almost-B. And I love them. Why? Let me list the reasons:
- They are, and will always be, eternally perky. Adorable, even.
- Don’t feel like wearing a bra? Don’t have to! Nipples are sexy too!
- Shirts always fit
- They go with the rest of my body- I’m tall and lean (not skinny or scrawny tho)
- They go nicely with my running addiction- nothing to bounce around, chafe, or slap me in the chin!
- NEVER heard any complaints from men. If I did, and if any suggested augmentation, I would consider it an automatic deal-breaker. In fact, men tend to love my small boobs just because I love them so much.
- I am a big fan of variability. We do not and should not all look exactly the same and that goes for boob size too. I refuse to believe that there’s any problem with a petite chest. I also don’t think kowtowing to the “ideal” and getting implants does any other small-boobed women any favors.
So in short, be grateful that you have a cute, perky set of twins that causes you no physical discomfort (unlike many of my large-boobed friends) and try to see the upsides- because there are SO MANY!
raqueleza
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 12:57 pm: [report]
Zomg. Reading this was like reading something about myself.
I, too, am an NB (though 36) in a genetic pool of full C’s and D’s, and having my boobs done is on my Top 3 Fantasies list. I have a tiny waist and an ass for days (which I love), but my boobs have always left something to be desired. I feel like I’m disproportionate, and yeah, I still stuff my bra with socks.
It’s awesome that everyone is so supporting of acceptance of our bodies the way they are, but there’s nothing wrong or amoral or gross about plastic surgery in my opinion, as long as it makes you happy. All the supportive talk from my family, my man, and my friends is helpful, but it really doesn’t change the way I feel about my body—I don’t care what THEY think about MY breasts. Wanting a bigger chest is for me and me alone.
If I had the money, I’d get an augmentation in a heartbeat.
Queen Frostine
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 12:57 pm: [report]
I’ll trade you for my 36 DDs. You can deal with the…
1. back pain
2. lack of selection in pretty bras in big sizes
3. men oggling you in a creepy pervy fashion
4. stretch marks
5. looking top heavy
6. effects of gravity
7. being unable to wear triangle tops, empire waistlines, tube tops, button down shirts or sweaters, horizontal stripes, and plenty of other fashions designed for small chested women.
heartinwa
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 01:01 pm: [report]
This used to bug me, too, as I’m in the same boat. It wasn’t until I had a slightly inebriated conversation with a male friend who admitted to liking Bs best that it hit me—I wouldn’t have to spend the rest of my life apologizing for my chest. For some, I’m actually ideal… and that helped me see my chest as my *own* ideal.
MissChaotic
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 01:03 pm: [report]
Girl…I struggle to fit into my 32B…simply because the 32 band size is too big for my ribcage. I’m more like a 30…so eff a perfect bra size!
callmehats
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 01:09 pm: [report]
I’m rockin some 32A’s. I used to be pissed that I was the only girl the boob fairy missed, but I’ve grown to love them. I can jog without discomfort, sleep on my belly, and my back never hurts. These babies will continue to defy gravity for many years to come! I’ve never once considered an upgrade. Maybe I’m not attracting as many guys as my better endowed friends, but the guys I do attract seem to be of better quality. Anyone feeling bad about their little breasts should go hang out in a women’s locker room. There are some crazy looking tatas out there. Seriously. Mine may be little, but they are cute. And damn it could be a lot worse.
bogart4017
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 01:10 pm: [report]
I know i don’t have to tell you this but listen anyway. Never ever have your breasts because a man asks you to. They belong to you. If he doesnt like your size tell him to kick rocks!
retro chic
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 01:27 pm: [report]
Annika! “But I just want to look and feel normal…”[???] Stop that talk immediately! Maybe you’re not confident enough in your femininity or independence and are focusing it on “boobs.” There’s plenty of time to think about surgery which, you must know, leads to a *lifetime* of costly, painful maintenance. Give yourself a break. Everyone is a composition – why alter one of the many things that add up to making you unique? Augmentation is an instant cliché. Discover yourself more, you may be pleasantly surprised with the new eyes that come with it. New perspective – not new body. For now.
Jenn27549
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 01:37 pm: [report]
I also have small breasts…don’t know what bra size actually because I haven’t worn one for 11 years. Probably a B. Substantial enough that I may regret not wearing a bra in 20+ years, but that’s what lifts are for, right? Bras are so uncomfortable!! I love the freedom to not need one. I still wear glasses b/c I think contacts are uncomfortable in my sensitive eyes. I’m all about comfort. Although there are times I’d like them bigger—my husband says absolutely not—I fall back on the fact that they are the PERFECT shape. I wouldn’t want to risk changing the shape to get them bigger. Not even for a second. I’m not against cosmetic surgery. I had my nose done last year, and my husband was very supportive. Not that he “agreed” that I needed it done, but it wouldn’t change the way he viewed me (whereas larger breasts would) and if it was making me so unhappy he didn’t mind the little change. The great results of my nose job tempt me even more sometimes to have something else done. That one little small change altered the entire composition of my face for the better. I’m more confident and don’t hate the way I look in pictures. Maybe I’ll opt for lasic instead?
Erin G
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 01:44 pm: [report]
@ Queen Frostine: Grass is always greener, right? I’m right there with you. My DD annoy the hell out of me, but I’m bound and determined to love them because that’s what I’ve been given in life. Sure, all the cutest fashions look AWFUL on me and bra-buying takes days and bankrupts me, but at least I’m not stuck bitching and moaning about being flat-chested.
Queen Frostine
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 01:47 pm: [report]
I wasn’t always a DD. Birth control did that. I was a 32 B and THRILLED with my size. It was perfect. I never envied the big boob girls. Now I envy the flat chested ones.
sadie
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 01:49 pm: [report]
Bs aren’t so small. Most of the movie stars and models are B cups. Smaller boobs means there’s less to sag. If you’re really set on going under the knife, keep in mind this is one a one-shot deal. Implants will eventually need to be replaced as they wear down over time. That means more surgery and more money.
Miss Missi
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 01:49 pm: [report]
As a girl who also lacks the lady lumps (I wear 32NA training bras from the little girls dept), I’m slowly learning to love them. So, I’m not attracting as many guys as my large breasted friends, but I don’t ever get the creepy eye. And as I age, I’ve noticed that I will defy gravity forever - my size C/D relatives aren’t so lucky. And kudos to callmehats, she has it quite right - mine may be little, but they are cute!
becktasm
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 02:41 pm: [report]
You know what they say- more than a mouthful is wasted anyway.
Stef-F
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 02:42 pm: [report]
I got implants to get UP TO a B. I was 23 and wearing training bras, because they don’t make real bras small enough for me. You’re lucky to have naturally made it to a B. I think you should take the money you would be spending on implants and go to a few sessions with a therapist, maybe they can help you see that you’re not flawed. take it from someone who was much less blessed than you are, there’s nothing wrong with a Nearly B cup. While I think implants are great (I love mine), I would only encourage them in extreme cases.
newmakcity
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 03:27 pm: [report]
I’m the same as Stef-F where I went up to a B. But I got surgery for shape and not size. Unlike the other comments though, I think you should really research surgery if you think you might want it. I agree that you shouldn’t feel any outside pressure when it comes to your body but pressure goes both ways. You can do what you what with your own body and people should accept it whether you decide on surgery or not. For me I was fully aware the realities and not the fantasy of what the results would be and I still feel it was one of my best decisions. I even relish my incision scars because they remind me what I went through for myself. Do your research, talk to doctors (good, reputable ones), take lots of time to think about it and you’ll figure out what’s best for you. That way even if you don’t get surgery, you came to the decision on your own and not because other people think you’re fine the way you are. Not doing something because others say you shouldn’t is just as bad as doing it because they say you should.
develange
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 04:30 pm: [report]
if you’re planning on having kids someday, you may get the bigger boobs you desire. Implants may be cheaper though ; )
But seriously, surgery should be a last resort. Have you talked to someone who has gotten implants? I know it’s a personal experience, but maybe talking to other women who have had the surgery people will assist in your choice.
If you get implants to get rid of your “flaw,” what are you going to obsess over next? That’s the scary thing about plastic surgery.
It seems like more and more guys I meet prefer smaller breasts. Maybe it’s the whole perky thing, I don’t know. But this does seem to be more about what YOU think of your body.
Also, you’re lucky that your “flaw” has some relief (padded bras, guys into smaller boobs, etc). My “flaw” is my large nose and there isn’t much I can do to hide that, aside from surgery. Not many guys I’ve met say they prefer a chick with a big nose.
lahnne
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 04:54 pm: [report]
Girlie, I’d give you mine any day. And hey! Like everyone says, there’re some HOT bras out there (not to mention that small-chested girls are à la mode these days). At least you can fake what you want. I got me some decent legs, but I’m plagued by horrible cankles. Try faking ankles in flats. Doesn’t happen. So chin up (and chest out!)
caratop1031
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 06:40 pm: [report]
I too registered just so I could comment on this article. I’m a 34A, so I’ve spent many years wishing I had bigger boobs, but honestly, I’m so glad I have them.
I can wear any shirts I want and I don’t have to worry about back pains. I can run around and not feel like my boobs are gonna completely fall off.
I don’t even wear padded bras because I’m so proud of them. It’s just about focusing on all the GREAT things you can do with what you have!
jayc
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 08:11 pm: [report]
You know, I am a frequent visitor of this site but rarely do I post comments. But I just had to comment on this. I have 34/36 B’s (depends on the bra). I’ve always wanted bigger boobs. I used to never buy bras unless they had padding (not super duper extremo padding but just enough to boost me up.)But now, I prefer little to no padding. My favorite bra doesn’t have any at all. I’m startin to grow fond of my boobs…My sister has ginormous ones with loads of stretch marks. Also you can’t tell when she has a bra on,but gravity tends to have b*tch slapped her a bit.
So, love your boobies; big or small. I do. My sis does.
whatshesays
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 10:34 pm: [report]
I was a 34 NB, and then I went on birth control. Helloooooo 34 B!
mayorbubbles
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 08:55 pm: [report]
I wish had a smaller chest. I’m somewhere between a B and a C. I’m a comfort junky and I try to get away with not wearing a bra as much as possible. Usually only when I’m at home. I envy my smaller chested buddies because most of them don’t even have to wear a bra when we go out. Wanna switch?